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Jai
Jai

Member
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Member Since: 26th Oct 2004
Total posts: 52
Posted:Hey all.

I am just curious because lately i have been feeling weird. Well it has been for the last year or so. I feel like nothing is exciting anymore. Everything i do just seems to float by. As if i am just watching it. I dont get excited by anything anymore. For example; I finish year 12 at the end of this year. Everyone is talking about what they want to do, and how excited they are that they are going to be doing it. But it doesnt really.....affect me emotionally. Its like i dont have any emotions anymore.

I try to do stuff that will effect me emotionally. I try to do exciting stuff, like im making a movie. But i dont feel anything about it. Its just happening.

I have been suffering from insomnia for about the same time. My mind wont stop. It just goes over everything that is happening or has happened through the day. Or what i have to do. I get my best work done when i should be sleeping.

Does anyone feel like they are living through a dream?


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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:totally. i had about a year and a half of that when i was 16/17. it was really hard to cope with because i didn't feel like anything was wrong, well, more like i thought i should feel bad about it, and that i wasn't really participating in anything or doing anything other than physical actions with no real motive behind them. it's a really strange place to be in, you end up getting totally stuck in your head.

what got me out of it was meeting some amazing friends in college who eventaully got me out of my cave, although i was dealing with my parents divorce at the time (even though it was years before) and having a bit of an identity crisis. in the end i guess i got myself out of it.

also, around that time i go in to metal and suddenly discovered a massive family of people just like me smile maybe that's not your thing, but there are people out there who feel the same as you. hug


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:I very much know the feeling. I've been living it for a few years now. I figure it'll go away eventually, but by now i don't know if i care that much. Not so much of the insomnia, though it can take a while before i sleep.

I think mine kicked in midway through year 11, parents divorce, then got cemented in when a mate of mine killed himself.

*shrugs* I think my case might be just a defence mechanism, have you had anything earthshakingly bad happen recently?


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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Stout
Stout

Pooh-Bah
Location: Canada
Member Since: 12th May 2004
Total posts: 1872
Posted:There's always the possibility that you're discovering that you're one of those people who can control their emotions, rather than being controlled BY your emotions.[ appropriate emoticon]

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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:no, if you could control your emotions then you could make yourself get excited about things. it's not much fun being stuck in a little cloud.

I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Jai, it sounds like you are suffering from depression. My advice is to see your doctor as soon as possible hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:I feel similar...

I'm in my own world most of the time... Only a few people have ever brought me out of it...

My mind is always busy. Taking up Contact and Popping was a great help for this, as it gave me something constructive to think about.

I was highly dependant on Pot. not such a good thing to be, I know (And I'm certainly not advocating the use of drugs here...) but it got me to sleep every night for about eight years.

Jo has the right idea. Go to a doctor. Even if you don't take the Pills they give (I got fed up with them) seeing someone to talk to about things is in my opinion the most important thing you can do.

Good luck! hug


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:It sounds to me like your turning into an Emo.

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Nice one joe... umm

Learn some tact... rolleyes


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:lol - NEVER!

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Spanner
Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...
Member Since: 27th Feb 2003
Total posts: 2790
Posted:Jai - could it be that you're still "in shock" about something that happened in the past, however long ago?

That could be one explanation even if you don't find yourself thinking about the event on a frequent or regular basis. You may not even realise that an event has affected you enough to result in everything else seeming insignificant in comparison to it.


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:when i suffered with depression the first thing my mum did was make me get counselling. it really really helps. i promise you. go talk to someone!

I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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FireByNite
FireByNite

Are you up for it??
Location: Auckland
Member Since: 8th Dec 2004
Total posts: 349
Posted:alot of what your saying seems to be a very common stage to go through in teen years. I too got my best work done when I should've been sleeping.

like some people i turned to pot, but that just got me an addiction to the crap.

listening to metal helped, ie helped me to sort out my feelings



You definately have depression, go see a doctor or counsellor. Someone to talk to, if your not comfortable with those sorts, an aunt, uncle, teacher etc

Also try thinking about a uni/tech course after you finish year 12, might give you some direction. maybe one of those courses that are there to "help you decide which way to go"



I found that having something to do helped a bit when I went through it. I threw myself into learning about cars (passion of mine)



Oh yeah, and throw yourself into spinning

biggrin



It won't last forever


Are you up for it?
wink;)

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Jai
Jai

Member
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Member Since: 26th Oct 2004
Total posts: 52
Posted:One bad thing happened last year that could explain it. I was working at a convience store on the gold coast. It was my first graveyard shift. I was doing as much work i could possibly do over the holidays to earn a little bit more money. An hour into my shift a guy walked in with a gun, and robbed the place. I have never really talked about it much. I dont tell people about it. And if one of my parents bring it up i change the subject.

I havnt gotten into pot honestly. I have seen too many people that are constant users to realise i dont want to be like that. No offense to anyway. I guess that just really isnt my thing.

Depression? The problem is i cant actually open up to anyone enough to talk about any problems that i have. I did see a mind doctor once. But the sessions seemed to go on forever and i didnt feel like i was getting anywhere. Possibly because i didnt talk much. Thats the reason i posted on here. Because its a annonomus way of asking for help.

I'm turning into an Emo? confused Thats pretty scary. I cant see myself as an Emo.

Thank you all so very much for your words. Sometimes its good to know that your not the only person that has gone through or is going through this stuff. It kinda gives a possible ray of light.

Peace
Jai


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Brenn
Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 28th Jun 2004
Total posts: 3286
Posted:I had that, more or less, for the last three years and i feel like i'm coming out of it now, if not already. I still felt things, but it seemed like i was under a glass ceiling of sorts - i knew where i should have been emotionally and in terms of happiness, and i could see where i should have been, but i could not get anywhere near it.

I wouldn't be too hasty to classify what you're feeling as depression, but I do agree that it is a good idea to talk to someone about it. Sometimes when something bad happens to us we aren't ready to talk about it until much later down the track. Case in point: When my brother died in 2003 I didn't seek professional counselling until this year - any attempt to talk about it earlier just didn't do anything for me.

Give yourself more time and try taking up some new things, or approaching the same things from a different angle. I find music is a powerful tool for coping - and my tastes have shifted dramatically over the three years. I now listen to a combination of Viking Metal and Middle Eastern music as a means of unwinding and coping, where previously I was into Indie and easy listening such as Coldplay and Counting Crows.

All the best, mate.

Brenn.


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy

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Jai
Jai

Member
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Member Since: 26th Oct 2004
Total posts: 52
Posted:Yeh, i dont think i have depression. I mean im not depressed. I just dont feel anything. As Brenn said, 'it seemed like i was under a glass ceiling of sorts'.

Everyone keeps telling me to get into metal music. Thats kinda scary for me. I dont exactly like metal music.


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FireByNite
FireByNite

Are you up for it??
Location: Auckland
Member Since: 8th Dec 2004
Total posts: 349
Posted:metal music only helps some people
sounds similar to PTSD - post traumatic stress syndrome

if you cant talk to people about it, how about a journal/diary kinda thing?
helps to get feelings out etc without talking to anyone

have a look online and see if you can find out anything about people who "feel" (or dont feel smile) the same if you havent already
good luck


Are you up for it?
wink;)

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Jai,
that's how depression feels, you feel numb a lot of the time.
I've had it for 8 years.
Sometimes I've felt like a zombie with no feelings whatsoever, just numbness. Which is how some people turn to self harm- to prove that you can feel pain.

I seriously reccommend perhaps writing your thoughts and feelings down about the gunman on paper. Just to get it out of your head.

Sometimes just having it on paper instead of in your head can help.

Best of luck to you hun hug

And please ignore Brit_Joe's ridiculous comment. You are not "turning into an emo". hug


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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spinningstarlet
spinningstarlet

enthusiast
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*
Member Since: 29th Aug 2006
Total posts: 271
Posted:hey, i agree very much with Jo. i had depression and i went to counceling for anout 3 months... i have always found it difficult to talk to people long complicatesd reasons) but the thing i liked about the councelling was that this person was paid to sit and listen to me she wasn't doing it because she felt she sould, or because she "cared" but because that was her Job. i didn't have to talk about my issues, i could just talk about anything, wether it was "ah i've had a bit of a :cencored: day" or "yeah i'm still feeling a bit messed up over when..[whatever issue]" it was just a way of helping me get my head in order. Granted sometimes i do still fell down, or sad, or - like you - nothing at all. But the councelling helped me put some direction in my life, and that helps tonnes.

this may or may not be whats right for you but there are lots of options, and i think it would be a good idea for you to look into them

hug hug hug

good luck!


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Gremlin_Lou
Gremlin_Lou

member
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 29th May 2005
Total posts: 131
Posted:I had a similar experience and everyone told me I was depressed - it took months and months of trying to explain to people I wasn't depressed, before anyone took any notice of me - finally started having some tests.

They decided it was Temporal Lobe epilepsy, but it took months of tests and hard work.

Saying you've got depression straight away can lead down a very slippery slope - anti-depressants when you don't have the chemical imbalance they are there to correct ca be extremely damaging to both physical and psychological health.

My advice is start to write a diary of when you feel happy and sad - you may well find that you do sometimes feel happy and excited, but when you feel down you won't remeber the good times. Then, if after another few months it hasn't cleared up, go to your docs, but don't accept anit-depressants, they are only a short term solution.


'If your deeds shouldn't be known, perhaps they shouldn't be done, if your words shouldn't be shared, perhaps they shouldn't be spoken. Act with attention, for all your acts have consequences" (Rabbi Judah HaNassi)

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Jai
Jai

Member
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Member Since: 26th Oct 2004
Total posts: 52
Posted:One of my friends made a passing joke about the way i feel a few months ago. He said 'Maybe its the moon'. We both had a laugh afterwards until earlier this evening i noticed that it was a full moon. Or close too.

I have had a diary ever since last year, writing in it very rarely. Usually when i need clarity. I have noticed that i feel the most like this on or around a full moon. Last year on my birthday was the worst day i have ever had, i got so angry and couldnt control myself. I lashed out at my teachers, and walked out of the room and went home. I went straight to bed then woke up at about 8pm. Thats when i went down to the pub and drank my sorrors away. I realise this isnt any good. I just looked at a moon chart from last year. It was on a full moon.

It also happens that the day that the convience store was robbed was also a full moon. Im starting to see a pattern here.

Does anyone believe that a full moon can change peoples feelings and emotions?


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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:not necessarily the moon, but i do know that people natural cycles (not meaning menstrual cycle....just people's natural ups and downs) are in tune with the world around them, that we go up and down in time periods that coincide with nature & our environment.

i guess it could be the pull of the moon, change in antmosphere, that kind of thing, just as people feel down in winter with less sun, or scared at night.....does that make sense?


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Jai, I have exactly the same thing!
A few years ago my mum made the same comment about the moon and my depression.

I went over my diaries, and noticed that I was really depressed/numb when it was full moon.

The moon is famous for causing people to act strangely- hence where the name LUNA-tic came from.


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:Boy, I know those feelings well. Might be very very hard to sort out what it is. Good luck tho!

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Skulduggery
Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted:I recon the Diary advice is the way to go. Write down each day how you feel, what you have eaten, what the weather was like and what in general you did in the day. Once you have a couple of months of info take it along to your when you go to see the Doc. It could help them diagnose if there is something wrong.

Doing that will show trends of what's going on and give them more to go on than just telling them you feel odd and cut off from your emotions.

If they think it is depression there are many forms of treatment, not all include drugs. Some people put off going to get help because they fear being put on anti-depressants. They shouldn't be. There are lots of new drugs out there and I'm sure someone more qualified than I can tell you about all the choices. They are not all addictive (one of the fears people have told me they have) and taking them does not mean you are a crazy person that is losing thier mind (another fear people have said to me). Mental illness is just that, an illness. If you had a boil on your bum wouldn't you go to the Doc to get help/medication to heal it? The same should be true of mental health. The sooner you ask for help the sooner you can recover.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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FireByNite
FireByNite

Are you up for it??
Location: Auckland
Member Since: 8th Dec 2004
Total posts: 349
Posted: Written by: Jai


Does anyone believe that a full moon can change peoples feelings and emotions?


since the moon affects when beaches are at high tide/low tide, and we (humans) are made up of a big % of water, therfore it is very highly probable that our moods are affected by full moons smile
some people beleieve it - others dont


Are you up for it?
wink;)

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:At the mental health centre I attend, lots of the people there are affected by the full moon.

I now have a lunar calender, that way you know when the full moon is coming and you can prepare for it.

It's always easier if you know what you're facing.


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:It is interesting that most properly formatted scientific studies have come to the conclusion that the stages of the moon , particularly full moon, does *not* alter peoples behavioural patterns.



Yet every single person I know that works in emergency services-police, hospital, crisis lines- will state definitively that they have experienced higher volume and more intense issues at the time of the full moon.They absolutely beleive it is significant, and refer to it for their scheduling, ensuring that they have appropriate staff levels at that time.



Odd.



Personally, the moon being full just makes me feel happy and free, as it is light enough to go exploring in the woods at night, and swimming, and it is soooo beautiful!



Jai, I do hope you go in and get some support from a counsellor and/or doctor. There are many things you can do to help with flatline feelings, which are likely associated with depression/stress. You sound like you are on the right track with poi spinning! Exercise, and working towards a measureable goal, are some of the best treatments for depression both short and long term!



Good luck!

xoxo

a


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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Mr_Joe
Mr_Joe

Part-time genius

Member Since: 27th Aug 2008
Total posts: 59
Posted:That sounds quite a bit like the experience I've had with depression ;though I'm often reluctant to call it that, I think mine was mostly teen angst smile One of the cited symptoms is losing interest in things you used to enjoy and suffering from a detachment to the world that surrounds you. I oftened used the metaphor of being behind a glass wall to kinda sum up those times. Of course that by itself doesn't mean you're depressed in a clinical sense.

If that is the case you'd probably find yourself getting tearful extremely often, probably at least once a day and having difficulty talking to other people, especially during times when you're tearful. I know I often physically found myself unable to speak. Professional help is extremely useful. I can't bring myself to recommend a GP, as they tend to having widely varying views on mental wellbeing and its importance to medicine, but they are useful and important in getting you talking to the specialists. Does your college or whatever (assuming you're still in school, I dunno about the Oz system) have a counsellor or nurse you could talk to. They often specialise in this kinda thing because it does affect a lot of people around our age.

Finally, I'd like to put a good word in for the drugs, if they're prescribed correctly as they were to me they help. A lot. They're not a solution, but they allow to get up in the morning and (in my case anyway) give you the ability to talk to people without breaking up. However, most professionals discourage their use until they're sure that something is specifically wrong, because they do affect your brain chemistry.

Joe x


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spinningstarlet
spinningstarlet

enthusiast
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*
Member Since: 29th Aug 2006
Total posts: 271
Posted:i never took any drugs for my depression (although i did stop taking the ones that i wasn't prescribed).

i recognise that they are useful etc, but the doctor i saw was amazing, said he didn't want to give me anti-depressents until i had tried every other avenue, with me being young and stuff. Lucky for me the councelling worked really really well for me, and so that was that.

smile


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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:Jai, writing a detailed account of the robbery is an extrememely good thing to do. It may bring up some of the feelings, however.



Depression as some people have said here does NOT always mean feeling sad.. it is often that 'cut off' feeling.



Talking as in counselling can be helpful, but just as often

physical activity helps even more. The other HUGE thing to consider is diet. I am really shocked how many people don't even know what a protein is, let alone eat enough of it!



I am saying this based on two things: I worked as a professional counsellor for many years. And I tended to depression in my younger days. Not so much now, though it does drift through. When I was working with people who were described themselves feeling depressed (or not feeling anything at all...)the very first thing I would do is make sure they took Vitamin B, ate regular protein and did something they enjoyed that moved the blood around a bit quicker. (also called exercise, but that sounds worse!)

EDITED_BY: newgabe (1160548141)


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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