Forums > Social Discussion > My stupid emotions - advice please

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Probably gonna get deleted but oh, well, here goes:



I underwent my first session of hypnotherapy last night because I have serious security issues concerning my better half. I can't stop feeling paranoid or jealous because every guy she meets, fancies her and has to tell her so, and offer her their love. It's even close friends of mine from uni that I trust, that I introduce to her that do it. These are the ones that piss me off the most. I always get scared that one day she'll get a better offer than I can give her, and she'll be off. I know that she thinks an awful lot of me, and that the chances of it happening are very very slim, but still I get worried. I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's happened at least ten times since we've been together and it makes me so insecure that I try to push her away and hurt her before anything like that has a chance to happen to me. Thank the powers that be that I haven't managed to do it yet, and that she's so fantastic and strong that she sticks by me (god knows I don't deserve it after the way I've hurt her) But i just decided I'm getting sick of feeling so paranoid for no reason, and causing quite a bit of pain for the both of us.



Thankyou Georgina for being so amazing and having the patience for putting up with me. Words cannot express how wonderful I think you are.



I know she can't help being fantastic and beautiful, But why do other men not realise that when people are together, they are together and that's that? I wouldn't go trying to split people up because I had feelings for someone else's girlfriend. It's just not done. It's downright rude as well as makes me feel like complete sh!t.



Anyway...



My first session was last night. My mum's partner is a qualified hypnotherapist, So I get the treatment for free. It was the most amazing and yet freaky thing I have ever done!!



There I am, sitting in a chair, listening to him say things like 'your eyelids are getting heavy, and this is ok' and then he shows me a spot on his hand (proper David Blaine style) and before I know it, he's told me to close my eyes and that they're locked shut. I try to open them, but nothing. It's as if my entire body is paralysed, but I'm still in complete control of everything that is going on around me. He tells me to relax, and counts me down the 'stairs of relaxation', whereupon every step you go down, doubles your state of relaxation. By the time I get to the bottom, my body feels like a lead weight, and I feel so peaceful and calm.



He then took me on a 'trip to the cottage'. 'The Cottage' is an imaginary cottage in your head. you build up a picture of the most beautiful cottage you can imagine (mine was in Falmouth, for some reason) and the cottage is right on a cliff-edge. You walk into it and see that it's in a mess. there's crap lying everywhere, but this is no ordinary crap. What's lying around is all the emotions and experiences and indeed anything that you don't like about yourself, and you have to tidy up. I started off last night by ridding myself of quite a lot of jealousy that had built up in my mind, and a small bit of some other bad aspects of myself. I also managed to incorporate some of the urge to smoke in my rubbish. It felt so good. Once I had cleaned up a bit, I was told to 'tie a knot in the rubbish sack so that nothing could get out, take the sack to end of the picturesque garden, and throw it over the cliff'. Done. A weight off my shoulders.



Aftre that, he counted me out of the trance that I was in, saying 'when I get to the number five, you will be able to open your eyes'. 'one' he said. nothing. I tried to open my eyes early, but couldn't. 'Two'. same thing happened. 'three, four' again no response from me. 'Five' I opened my eyes and was wide awake, and still fully aware of what had been happening.



Does anyone else go through these emotions concerning their partners? Or am I just weird? How does everyone else deal with them? Can you give me any tips? Has anyone else broken up with people for reasons they later found out to be crap?


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:im not in to the festival lark so it doesnt appeal to me.

im not really into litter picking either.


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Medusa
Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...
Member Since: 25th Nov 2003
Total posts: 1433
Posted:If you are desperate for a job you should be open minded enough to do whatever comes your way.

I hate the job I am in at the moment but I do it because it pays my bills...when the bills come in I can't afford to be fussy about where I work or what kind of work I have to do.

When I lost my job I registered with every single agency in my city and though some of them I didn't hear from I still managed to get some casual work while I was still looking for something more permanent.

People are trying to give you some good advice here instead of shotting all the advice down in flames you should give it a go...

I hope you find something soon.... smile


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onewheeldave
Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield
Member Since: 28th Aug 2002
Total posts: 3252
Posted:Personally I think there's something to be said for being selective- so much of the exploitation prevalent in work exists because people do feel so desperate that they feel obliged to do anything that is offered.

This is especially the case with job agencies, who, in the main, seem to have little resect for the people they place.

Job agencies exist because plenty of people do feel so desperate that they'll put up with that kind of abuse, and job agencies actually help to bring about that situation by enabling employers to hire temps, when, otherwise, they'd have to create a proper job instead.

I know that there's more than one side to that issue, and that I've put it a bit simplistically; but I just wanted to say to Nucleopoi that not everyone will be thinking that she's too picky- my thoughts are that it's good she's got enough self respect to not take work that she doesn't want to do; if more people did the samei reckon the current employment situation would improve.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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Medusa
Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...
Member Since: 25th Nov 2003
Total posts: 1433
Posted:Don't get me wrong I do believe that you should try to find a job that you are best suited to and you love...but if you have bills and debts to pay you can't afford to be picky.

Find something in the mean time to get you through until something better comes along.

You can keep looking for work while you are in a job...in fact you are more employable when you are employed.


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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:well actually medusa i have tried the options ppl have suggested and have lookewd on the websites.i havent shot any of the ideas down in flames at all if you read the whole thread or knew me.iv been judged enough wrongly in my life let alone from ppl that dont know much.
sorry if this sounds harsh but its the way i am lately.
sorry again. hug


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Sethis
Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University
Member Since: 16th May 2005
Total posts: 1762
Posted:*Wafts calming vapours through the thread*

Of course it is very difficult to make suggestions affecting another person's life when you've never met them, and you don't know too much about their background, home etc etc.

I think that some people have made some constructive and helpful comments, and *everyone* here hopes that Nucleopoi can get a job she likes, and comes out on top of things.

Everyone is trying to help each other, that's what I love about this site and all the people on it. Judgement of how people are is always a slippery path, especially over the internet.

Good luck and peace to everyone here. peace


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Nucleopoi Phones her old job today to see if they want her back...

I'm almost as nervous as she is!!

Fingers Crossed!

:hopefulsmiley:


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:i won't go in with the finger crossing malarky (not very exciting reason why) but i really hope it goes well. of cause keep us informed and i still say she should appeal if they say no. i'll come and help to kick ass biggrin

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:shes not there everytime i try.

thats making me more nervous.

argh


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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:shes not there everytime i try.

thats making me more nervous.

argh


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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:mmm after 10 times she answers at 4.00pm.
she says she hasent changed her mind.
what was the point then in getting me to ring her??
she thinks i have learned a lesson from all this-what exactly?, that being depressed gets you sacked?!

frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown frown


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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:This has really p!ssed me off.

It wasn't Georgina's fault, it was mine. Can't they see that? Aren't there laws to stop this type of thing happening in a workplace? Depressede people should be given/offered help, not a kick in the teeth. What good will that do except make them feel worse?

I feel so useless, that I can't do anything to help this.

mad angry mad censored mad2 mad2 mad2 censored mad angry mad


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

Skulduggery
Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted:It depends on what kind of contract you have and how long you have been employed sadly.

Good luck in finding another job hun. hug


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Something will turn up... honestly.

In the meantime... sign on. At least have some money coming in.

And while you're looking, maybe take a course, make use of the time you have free.

Most importantly... don't panic.

hug


Getting to the other side smile

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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:i hope so.

im trying to be calm and not panic, not easy.

thanks for the encouragement.

hug hug hug hug hug hug


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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Totally understand...

hug


Getting to the other side smile

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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:why are ppl on here so nice to me.

i love it.

never had so many ppl wanting to help me before

THANKS EVERYONE.

hug ubblol hug ubblol hug ubblol hug ubblol hug ubblol ubblol


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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:biggrin

Because it's a community and everyone helps everyone else out.

Because we've all been through rough times which has given us the perspective to know that you can and will come out the other side.

Because when you do, you can help others


biggrin


Getting to the other side smile

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GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:Ed spank and not in the usual way i mean it. stop blaming yourself, please biggrin

Nucleopoi we are you friends thats why hug hug if they won't give you your job back take it as outside intervention to help you get to where you want. like the ladies said, sign on and get on a course, you will be entitled to housing benefit etc so that may be a great help. also get in touch with you CAB just to make sure they were within their rights to get rid of you just like that, and for the reasons. I'm currently involved in an appeal for someone so if you want advice PM me hug but its ok too if you don't want to biggrin
just take this time to think, get your life straight again and of cause have fun.

i really hope things get better soon for you hug hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:*looks sheepish*

Sorry Miss Frogette. I'll try to be a good boy in future. I promise.

I can't help blaming myself, though. I'm that sort of person. I'm trying to sort it all out with the hypno and when I get back to uni, I'm gonna be seeing a counsellor as well.

Most of my feeling low is because I miss Georgina SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO much it's unbelievable. When I get to be with her again, I'm sure I'll probably go back to being my usual jolly self again and wonder why in hell I was like this.


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:am i going to have to buy ear plugs for Falmouth? biggrin ubblol

and i know you can't help it hun hug but i can't sit here and see you beat yourself up about it......*tries to stay away from all talk on self punishment biggrin some times it can be fun but not this time young sir. hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

Delete

animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:ear plugs?

I do go on a bit don't I...


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:umm you know darn well thats not what i meant ubblol

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:yes

i have to put up with it more lol.

plus he doesnt really trust me


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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:you didn't? what did you mean then?

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:rolleyes

Aw come on! Even I got that wink


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:lol

it will come in time, although i don't know the history you two have either before relationships or this one.... it should come in time... if it helps i don't trust anyone but its not anyones fault just my issues

hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:Written by:
When I get to be with her again, I'm sure I'll probably go back to being my usual jolly self again and wonder why in hell I was like this.



now guess eek ubblol


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:But she's not gonna be at falmouth...

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

Nucleopoi
Nucleopoi

chemical attraction
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
Member Since: 6th Nov 2004
Total posts: 1097
Posted:youll see me though if your coming to see me lol....its not all that bad.
you really need to think more positively and have a bit of faith in me.


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