Forums > Social Discussion > My stupid emotions - advice please
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3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
Probably gonna get deleted but oh, well, here goes:
I underwent my first session of hypnotherapy last night because I have serious security issues concerning my better half. I can't stop feeling paranoid or jealous because every guy she meets, fancies her and has to tell her so, and offer her their love. It's even close friends of mine from uni that I trust, that I introduce to her that do it. These are the ones that piss me off the most. I always get scared that one day she'll get a better offer than I can give her, and she'll be off. I know that she thinks an awful lot of me, and that the chances of it happening are very very slim, but still I get worried. I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's happened at least ten times since we've been together and it makes me so insecure that I try to push her away and hurt her before anything like that has a chance to happen to me. Thank the powers that be that I haven't managed to do it yet, and that she's so fantastic and strong that she sticks by me (god knows I don't deserve it after the way I've hurt her) But i just decided I'm getting sick of feeling so paranoid for no reason, and causing quite a bit of pain for the both of us.
Thankyou Georgina for being so amazing and having the patience for putting up with me. Words cannot express how wonderful I think you are.
I know she can't help being fantastic and beautiful, But why do other men not realise that when people are together, they are together and that's that? I wouldn't go trying to split people up because I had feelings for someone else's girlfriend. It's just not done. It's downright rude as well as makes me feel like complete sh!t.
Anyway...
My first session was last night. My mum's partner is a qualified hypnotherapist, So I get the treatment for free. It was the most amazing and yet freaky thing I have ever done!!
There I am, sitting in a chair, listening to him say things like 'your eyelids are getting heavy, and this is ok' and then he shows me a spot on his hand (proper David Blaine style) and before I know it, he's told me to close my eyes and that they're locked shut. I try to open them, but nothing. It's as if my entire body is paralysed, but I'm still in complete control of everything that is going on around me. He tells me to relax, and counts me down the 'stairs of relaxation', whereupon every step you go down, doubles your state of relaxation. By the time I get to the bottom, my body feels like a lead weight, and I feel so peaceful and calm.
He then took me on a 'trip to the cottage'. 'The Cottage' is an imaginary cottage in your head. you build up a picture of the most beautiful cottage you can imagine (mine was in Falmouth, for some reason) and the cottage is right on a cliff-edge. You walk into it and see that it's in a mess. there's crap lying everywhere, but this is no ordinary crap. What's lying around is all the emotions and experiences and indeed anything that you don't like about yourself, and you have to tidy up. I started off last night by ridding myself of quite a lot of jealousy that had built up in my mind, and a small bit of some other bad aspects of myself. I also managed to incorporate some of the urge to smoke in my rubbish. It felt so good. Once I had cleaned up a bit, I was told to 'tie a knot in the rubbish sack so that nothing could get out, take the sack to end of the picturesque garden, and throw it over the cliff'. Done. A weight off my shoulders.
Aftre that, he counted me out of the trance that I was in, saying 'when I get to the number five, you will be able to open your eyes'. 'one' he said. nothing. I tried to open my eyes early, but couldn't. 'Two'. same thing happened. 'three, four' again no response from me. 'Five' I opened my eyes and was wide awake, and still fully aware of what had been happening.
Does anyone else go through these emotions concerning their partners? Or am I just weird? How does everyone else deal with them? Can you give me any tips? Has anyone else broken up with people for reasons they later found out to be crap?
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
Not half as happy as I am!!
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
hope it goes well Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
member
37 posts
Location: Nh, USA
From my depression, to my ex-girlfriends insecurity mainly brought on by her mother. You two have just described my last relationship in eerie detail. We were together for 4 years and broke up last month. I have no words of wisdom for you. I only hope that you take the same solace I do, in knowing that others are going through the same thing that you are, and you are never alone. As impossible as it is to believe, when you are suffering from depression, countless people love you and are thinking of you. And they will still be doing so when you come back to reality.
I’m no doctor, but I would stick with the hypnotherapy stuff. Its sounds like it works. Thank you for this post.
I ain't been around the world, but I've been around the block. I ain't seen everything, but I've seen enough to talk. I'm not a prophet, I'm not the 2nd comming of christ. I'm just a mason with a will to build and a little advice.
member
37 posts
Location: Nh, USA
Oh, a second page
I'm happy for both of you.
I ain't been around the world, but I've been around the block. I ain't seen everything, but I've seen enough to talk. I'm not a prophet, I'm not the 2nd comming of christ. I'm just a mason with a will to build and a little advice.
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
wow life gets so much better .....NOT!!
Now because of all of this i have just been sacked at work!
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
why
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
ecause it was upsetting me so much that i was getting way too distracted and couldnt concentrate properly on what i was doing to the point where i was doing loads wrong,so they sacked me for negligence lol.(big long sentence!!!!)
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
appeal
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
[psylocibin fingerbobe].
479 posts
Location: London, United Kingdom
omg, what a nightmare.Try asking for a chat with the management to explain what you were going through. Perhaps they'll change their mind.
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
GGGRRRRR!!!!
It really annoys me that I can't do anything to fix this, and I caused it. I feel so bad about this. I wish there was some way I could make it better.
*screams in anger at the world*
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
no its not your fault, you had no control over this situation hun
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
If I wasn't such an idiot, I wouldn't have gotten confused and hurt her, and made her so preoccupied with other things that she couldn't work properly.
What to do?
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
Thats your insecurity talking, its not your fault. I really feel for what you two are going through. It sounds like you've both got quite similar issues. I hope you can pull together and support each other, it sounds like you might be able to, you are very lucky to have each other. Loosing a job, although tough isn't the end of the world. I don't know what to say really. Good luck and all the best
Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
agreed with pricklyleaf.
i hope you both sort your stuff out and start to feel better soon. ED don't listen to yourself, lol, it was out of your control so tell the negative part of you to shut the hell up or my negative part of brain will come and give it a telling off
ok joke aside, i know its hard and it doesn't matter what people tell you you will think what ever your brain chooses, which can not be helped. its fustraiting cause you know what you want to be like (Even if its just the tinyest thing like being happy) and yet something out of your control is controling you and your life. just letting you know you both have good friends who are here to help you, but you have done the first part yourself. huge credit for you both, you know whats wrong and want to fix it. Thats a good thing and will get you far.
keep up the fight guys and hope things work out for the best
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
Listen to yer gothy woman
She's wise.
Getting to the other side 
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
Thanks guys, you really do make me feel better.
Had another session of Hypno today. It went ok. I feel a bit better.
As for Nucleopoi, there seems to be NO jobs in her area. At all.
This really sucks. I wish there was something I could do...
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
i dont feel better!!!
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
If there's anything I can do (that's actually possible) to help, I'll do it for you.
I love you!
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Nucleopoi where do you live? Did you have any luck with employment advice and appealing? you stand a very good chance at winning too as you have a strong case.
Ed hun tis what us friends are for and i'm glad your feeling better
yup it sucks that there is nothing you can do to help Nucleopoi. the thing you have to concentrate on is the fact that you want to help and if you could you would. Firepoise i love you
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)
Lol
Splendid
Love you too sweet lady
And to Ed and his lady... things are tough now, but they won't always be.
Try to focus on the positive, good things around you - just for a while - to give yourselves a break from the hardtimes.
It's such a cliche - but it's true - all will be well in the end.
Take care and hug more
Getting to the other side
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
yes i have tried all options as ed knows and there is f*** all in my area of ripon.
Sparkely arty Mormon rainbow fairy
933 posts
Location: infront of you, United Kingdom
Have you tried Lightwater Valley?
I know someone who works there and he says they are allways looking for people.
Property of Fine_Rabid_Dog
Sparkely arty Mormon rainbow fairy
933 posts
Location: infront of you, United Kingdom
If that fails, then there are plenty of people who live in Ripon but work in Harrogate or one of the villages.
Buses are about £4.20 return Ripon-Harrogate.
Property of Fine_Rabid_Dog
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
iv looked in harrogate
mmmm lightwater valley
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
Nucleopoi,
do you have a driving licence? Hve you contacted various agencies who will value your chemistry experience? Like British Waterways or see if you can get involved with Ripon Multi-objective National Pilot Project. Contact them and say that you are a hard working student of chemistry who is looking for some science summer work within the Ripon area. Phone all of the departments linked from the RMONPP page until one of them gives you a job.
Hope thats of use,
Stoo.
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
i dont drive no.
iv contacted some agencies,but there are more to go.i dont see what any others will have that the ones iv spoken to havent got already.il see though.thanks
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
When I was reading for my degree I would phone various organisations relevant to my degree and see if they had any summer work. A lot of research is seasonal and summer is the busiest season. Contact CEH in Lancaster they will probably have some work and their own accommodation for you.
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK
Cheers for that, stoo.
Tea's on me at foulmouth!!
Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
hope it helps - in a proactive mood today - when I say agencies I don't mean job agencies (as very science jobs get advertised in job agencies) I'm on about the Environmental Agency and the such like. Scientists aren't usual too good at admin so if someone says "hey I can do this, this and that. Do you have any work for me?" Someone can usually find some work.
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
chemical attraction
1,097 posts
Location: Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England
ok
not sure about any environmental agencies in my area though, they are all job agencies as far as i know.il have to have a look on the internet though to find my nearest one.
probably york tyhough which is too far away.
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