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Forums > Social Discussion > Lack of Respect on HoP
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Posted:I understand that this has developed into a large community. However, in the past few weeks I have received more complaints about the behaviour of others in threads than I feel I have ever seen in my years here at HoP.
I am deeply concerned, disappointed and feeling pretty helpless.
Which is why I am posting this. Please know that I am in no way representing Malcolm, Charles, Flash Fire, Josh, Dom or the opinions of any other HoP staff member. I am making this appeal as Pele, a fellow member of this community who is extremely upset by the PM's and emails I have been getting on a regular basis about the lack of respect on this board.
Correcting the mis-spellings and grammar of others in a thread is tactless and rude, not to mention humiliating and it hurts feelings. You do not know from what educational background someone comes, so do not assume they want you to correct them. If you have an issue, PM it instead.
Answering a question. Several times in the past few weeks people have put up questions about how to go about doing something..let's say...teach, perform, make a video, etc. A specific topic of interest came up about charging for these things. The statement "You shouldn't charge because it is about the art not money" and those like it neither answers the question nor helps the poster. It shows a rather pretentious attitude in fact. There are alot of people out there who make money on what we do. If that is something you disagree with, then start an appropriate thread, but respect the request of the original poster.
Likewise, if a certain genre of people are asked for something (a professional, a poier, etc.), please respect that unless you have something to add. There were a few complaints in thread aimed specifically at professional performers in which people would say "Well, I am not a performer and I think what you did is wrong." There was also one mentioned where a staffer responded to a poi question by saying that s/he didn't understand the attraction anyway, so what was the big deal. Again, the lack of respect for the original question is amazing to me.
Opinions. Turning an opinion based question into an all out debate, which then becomes and arguement, is not acceptible. It never has been. There are people here who are dead set it seems on forcing others to see their opinion as the better one. If you disagree fine. Put up your opinion with your supporting statements. Do not assault anyone or be rude about it. And there is no need to state your opinion 5 times in the same thread with the intent of trying to change someones mind. That shows an extreme lack of respect for the opinions of your fellow HoPper.
Use of PM's was recently called into question. They are not to be used for aggressive or illegal purposes. If you feel the need, take it to email and leave HoP out of it.
The other issue which has come up is primarily focussed around the video area. Please be supportive and constructive in your criticism. "It looks like sh!t" or "Dude, that has been done to death. Try something new" are not usually the best responses to give and do not show a support of your fellow HoPpers. Acknowledging them, offering constructive criticism and advice is welcome, however.
These are in direct response to complaints I have received over the past few weeks. Some of which I was given a copy of the thread, some of which I saw for myself.
I do know that because of the abuse of some of the priveledges (sp??) we have on HoP there have been people who have been members in good standing for years who thought perhaps they should leave.
Normally, I understand the reaction to this is "Let them go." and especially this time I feel that is not a valid response at all. I think that asking for respect is not alot. I understand that this is already one of the most accepting and nicest online communities out there, and I for one want to keep it that way and refuse to let it go the way of flaming and self-importance without a fight. But it takes us all to do that.
Please think before you post. Take a moment to read what you have written and hear it in your head in a tone other than the one you intended to make sure that even if it is criticism, it is as respectful as possible. We are all entitled to expressing our opinions and feelings, but we do not have the right to barrel over others to do so.
Thanks for your time, patience and continued involvement in Home of Poi.
Pele *the exasperated and not representing the voices of others*
I am deeply concerned, disappointed and feeling pretty helpless.
Which is why I am posting this. Please know that I am in no way representing Malcolm, Charles, Flash Fire, Josh, Dom or the opinions of any other HoP staff member. I am making this appeal as Pele, a fellow member of this community who is extremely upset by the PM's and emails I have been getting on a regular basis about the lack of respect on this board.
Correcting the mis-spellings and grammar of others in a thread is tactless and rude, not to mention humiliating and it hurts feelings. You do not know from what educational background someone comes, so do not assume they want you to correct them. If you have an issue, PM it instead.
Answering a question. Several times in the past few weeks people have put up questions about how to go about doing something..let's say...teach, perform, make a video, etc. A specific topic of interest came up about charging for these things. The statement "You shouldn't charge because it is about the art not money" and those like it neither answers the question nor helps the poster. It shows a rather pretentious attitude in fact. There are alot of people out there who make money on what we do. If that is something you disagree with, then start an appropriate thread, but respect the request of the original poster.
Likewise, if a certain genre of people are asked for something (a professional, a poier, etc.), please respect that unless you have something to add. There were a few complaints in thread aimed specifically at professional performers in which people would say "Well, I am not a performer and I think what you did is wrong." There was also one mentioned where a staffer responded to a poi question by saying that s/he didn't understand the attraction anyway, so what was the big deal. Again, the lack of respect for the original question is amazing to me.
Opinions. Turning an opinion based question into an all out debate, which then becomes and arguement, is not acceptible. It never has been. There are people here who are dead set it seems on forcing others to see their opinion as the better one. If you disagree fine. Put up your opinion with your supporting statements. Do not assault anyone or be rude about it. And there is no need to state your opinion 5 times in the same thread with the intent of trying to change someones mind. That shows an extreme lack of respect for the opinions of your fellow HoPper.
Use of PM's was recently called into question. They are not to be used for aggressive or illegal purposes. If you feel the need, take it to email and leave HoP out of it.
The other issue which has come up is primarily focussed around the video area. Please be supportive and constructive in your criticism. "It looks like sh!t" or "Dude, that has been done to death. Try something new" are not usually the best responses to give and do not show a support of your fellow HoPpers. Acknowledging them, offering constructive criticism and advice is welcome, however.
These are in direct response to complaints I have received over the past few weeks. Some of which I was given a copy of the thread, some of which I saw for myself.
I do know that because of the abuse of some of the priveledges (sp??) we have on HoP there have been people who have been members in good standing for years who thought perhaps they should leave.
Normally, I understand the reaction to this is "Let them go." and especially this time I feel that is not a valid response at all. I think that asking for respect is not alot. I understand that this is already one of the most accepting and nicest online communities out there, and I for one want to keep it that way and refuse to let it go the way of flaming and self-importance without a fight. But it takes us all to do that.
Please think before you post. Take a moment to read what you have written and hear it in your head in a tone other than the one you intended to make sure that even if it is criticism, it is as respectful as possible. We are all entitled to expressing our opinions and feelings, but we do not have the right to barrel over others to do so.
Thanks for your time, patience and continued involvement in Home of Poi.
Pele *the exasperated and not representing the voices of others*
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
Posted:I must admit a few things have gotten to me.
espically pms that have been used for the wrong reasons.
But I also think that this board has a load of beautiful people on it and we generally show each other respect with some expections if someone if feeling particularly 'passionate' about something.
One thing I find really rude is people ignoring you if you are asking them a direct question.
I dont like being ignored. I think that is incredibly disrespectful and rude, and have noticed that happening a few times.... even if you dont want to contribute towards the person who is speaking to you, prehaps you could at least acknowledge them...tis only polite
I think that the mods do a great job, and must have a hard time keeping up with any [censored] that happens on here. To be perfectly honest I think that we have a nice little family here, and all familys have many dimensions... we all need to learn how to allow and be accepting to all peoples opinons.
spelling mistakes have purposely been added!!
espically pms that have been used for the wrong reasons.
But I also think that this board has a load of beautiful people on it and we generally show each other respect with some expections if someone if feeling particularly 'passionate' about something.
One thing I find really rude is people ignoring you if you are asking them a direct question.
I dont like being ignored. I think that is incredibly disrespectful and rude, and have noticed that happening a few times.... even if you dont want to contribute towards the person who is speaking to you, prehaps you could at least acknowledge them...tis only polite
I think that the mods do a great job, and must have a hard time keeping up with any [censored] that happens on here. To be perfectly honest I think that we have a nice little family here, and all familys have many dimensions... we all need to learn how to allow and be accepting to all peoples opinons.
spelling mistakes have purposely been added!!
TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"
Delete
Posted:HOP does not have to stagnate that way. Debates can be treated seperately. Some people do have to start reading their posts before they stick them up though. Ego's an example of something that should be kept in check.
I also wonder why people have posted in a thread. Often it's nothing to do with the topic, but just to further some other agenda
..., very annoying 
On the whole things aren't too bad though....
I also wonder why people have posted in a thread. Often it's nothing to do with the topic, but just to further some other agenda
..., very annoying On the whole things aren't too bad though....
I live in a world of infinite possibilities.
Delete
Posted:Actually, I find that HoP is still as lovely a place as it ever was, so long as I make sure not to read posts from certain members (that list does NOT include Valura btw!) - but then I've done that all along in any bbs I've been on. Given the number of members HoP has, my no-read list is very short, which makes me very happy. The 3 years I've been around HoP is also by far the longest I've ever stayed on a bbs without getting fed up with people's attitudes and dropping out (though I did duck out for several months at a time during some of the episodes NYC and Kyrian referred to).
I actually think several of the people on my no-read list are actually well intentioned, but for some reason or another just like to jump all over trivial stuff, don't bother to check how their post reads to others, or think they are being clever when actually others are not reading it from the same point of view to get the humor.
But then, as deepsoulsheep says, some people seem to have an agenda, which is something don't understand in the context of this board.
I agree that things aren't so bad just now from my point of view, but then I tend to keep out of certian areas which seem to have a lot of ego involved. I Also think it is important for moderators to remind us from time to time, especially as this board continues to grow and it gets harder and harder to keep up with the personalities behind the avatars, that we are all here for the same reason and that we should keep the respect for each other.
I actually think several of the people on my no-read list are actually well intentioned, but for some reason or another just like to jump all over trivial stuff, don't bother to check how their post reads to others, or think they are being clever when actually others are not reading it from the same point of view to get the humor.
But then, as deepsoulsheep says, some people seem to have an agenda, which is something don't understand in the context of this board.
I agree that things aren't so bad just now from my point of view, but then I tend to keep out of certian areas which seem to have a lot of ego involved. I Also think it is important for moderators to remind us from time to time, especially as this board continues to grow and it gets harder and harder to keep up with the personalities behind the avatars, that we are all here for the same reason and that we should keep the respect for each other.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
Posted:Good sentiment Pele, extreemely well put (very appropriate to the Elequent thread!), although it's a little naive to think you can always presume someone will realise their post will cause offence before they've sent it, especially as it's virtually impossible to get a tone of voice across. And adult debate is to offer differing opinions afterall.
Keep spreading the lurve folks
Appologies if I've ever caused offence to anyone, it was only meant in the vain of discussion and debate.
CB
Keep spreading the lurve folks
Appologies if I've ever caused offence to anyone, it was only meant in the vain of discussion and debate.CB
Let's relight this forum 
Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Total posts: 2996
SILVER Member since Jan 2002
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Total posts: 2996
Posted:I've been in the thick of some of HoP's more interesting time periods. And even more painful, been an observer at some of the worst.
HoP is one of my safe places. I have met so many special people through here.
I just want people to remember that these things go in cycles. Because of the people we fill this community with, there will always be a point where it is said "no more, we need to behave better", and we do. It has happened before, and will happen again.
This way I hope HoP will be a safe place for other people too.
HoP is one of my safe places. I have met so many special people through here.
I just want people to remember that these things go in cycles. Because of the people we fill this community with, there will always be a point where it is said "no more, we need to behave better", and we do. It has happened before, and will happen again.
This way I hope HoP will be a safe place for other people too.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
Posted:good post!
I'm sure (at Ieast I hope that) a lot of the posts that cause offence aren't really intended to, but communicating via technology can have a nasty chinese-whispers effect without tone of voice and knowledge of the person posting. I'm definitely going to take more care to re-read before posting now, just in case
(Incidentally, if I've ever offended anybody with a post it certainly wasn't intentional. Formal apologies always available on request)
good post!I'm sure (at Ieast I hope that) a lot of the posts that cause offence aren't really intended to, but communicating via technology can have a nasty chinese-whispers effect without tone of voice and knowledge of the person posting. I'm definitely going to take more care to re-read before posting now, just in case
(Incidentally, if I've ever offended anybody with a post it certainly wasn't intentional. Formal apologies always available on request
)The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.
Always make time to play in the snow.
TheBovrilMonkey
SILVER Member since Sep 2001
![TheBovrilMonkey]()
Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England
Total posts: 2629
SILVER Member since Sep 2001
Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England
Total posts: 2629
Posted:
I demand a formal apology for your avatar looking at me funny.
Or maybe that's just me....
I agree with what seems to be the general sentiment: We've been through worse and all that's needed to sort everything out is someone to mention it.
And large amounts of random hugs are cool too
I demand a formal apology for your avatar looking at me funny.
Or maybe that's just me....
I agree with what seems to be the general sentiment: We've been through worse and all that's needed to sort everything out is someone to mention it.
And large amounts of random hugs are cool too
But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
DeleteDurbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001
![Durbs]()
Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
Total posts: 5688
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001
Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
Total posts: 5688
Posted:"Point!" Oh no, wait...
Yeah, it's lost a bit of the closeness of the old days - at one stage there was a very strong surrogate family of 6 here which was cool - but as my lil Sis Kyri says, you can't expect to maintain that with the numbers of people here now.
There's always been tensions here, there have always been antagonists and people who are just plain rude/arrogant, there have been highs and lows - yet still this is one of the most welcoming, helpful and bustling web communities there is.
I know recently we've lost a lot of the old school regulars, but some of the even older-schoolers have come back - it's just one big community.
Slaps on the backs for all those, not just the Mods who help to keep the vibe here positive.
Yeah, it's lost a bit of the closeness of the old days - at one stage there was a very strong surrogate family of 6 here which was cool - but as my lil Sis Kyri says, you can't expect to maintain that with the numbers of people here now.
There's always been tensions here, there have always been antagonists and people who are just plain rude/arrogant, there have been highs and lows - yet still this is one of the most welcoming, helpful and bustling web communities there is.
I know recently we've lost a lot of the old school regulars, but some of the even older-schoolers have come back - it's just one big community.
Slaps on the backs for all those, not just the Mods who help to keep the vibe here positive.
Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude
Posted:
I would like to formally apologise for my avatar looking at Bovril funny. (...in her defence I think it was only because I told her about your X-rated balloon scultures
)
I would like to formally apologise for my avatar looking at Bovril funny. (...in her defence I think it was only because I told her about your X-rated balloon scultures
)The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.
Always make time to play in the snow.
Posted:I just wanted to say somewhere without starting a new thread, that HOP is buzzing with loads of great threads all over the place at the moment .... so is as great as I've seen it me thinks
I live in a world of infinite possibilities.
Delete
Posted:tis an interesting post, ive only been on hop for a year or so, so ive missed all the juicy stuff. the only times i have ever read anything i would consider to be "offensive" has been from people who make statements about their opinions as facts rather than what they are, being opinions. tis a shame, when i was sifting through the old contact threads there was one particular baton twirler who seemed to know lots about contact but her ego seemed to get the better of her as she seemed to demand respect and idolisation. rather than lots of useful posts there where just a few rather nit picky ones
i think there should definately be more constructive criticism of videos after all ppl put in quite a bit of time putting them togetheri wish more ppl would criticise the vids i have put up more *hint*hint*
as for the nasty comments towards videos as far as i can remember ive never seen anything like that in the video forums and i check them quite regularly ..... a little to regularly. i guess the mods must be doing a super job
i think there should definately be more constructive criticism of videos after all ppl put in quite a bit of time putting them togetheri wish more ppl would criticise the vids i have put up more *hint*hint*
as for the nasty comments towards videos as far as i can remember ive never seen anything like that in the video forums and i check them quite regularly ..... a little to regularly. i guess the mods must be doing a super job
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
Delete
Posted:well, i sure kisserd that...
i guess im just too innocent and naive
i guess im just too innocent and naive
D.B.
X x X x X
Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!
Master of the Free Hug Program
Posted:Quote:
that list does NOT include Valura btw!)
your a darling vanize...
I think this thread has really positivly raised awareness of the way that a lot of people have been feeling lately... almost like an airing of frusterations... and thats really nice...
that list does NOT include Valura btw!)
your a darling vanize...
I think this thread has really positivly raised awareness of the way that a lot of people have been feeling lately... almost like an airing of frusterations... and thats really nice...
TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"
Deletepounce
SILVER Member since Jan 2003
![pounce]()
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Total posts: 9831
SILVER Member since Jan 2003
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Total posts: 9831
Posted:ok so i'm gonna stick my neck out and say i have mixed feelings on this.
i think a lot of what has been said needed to be said. i also am going to agree with some of the few heads on here who have said that debates are ok, and some of the debates going on that some people find offensive, i don't feel that they are. i think there are some people here who have been quite rude in their posts, but i also think there are some people who have taken it way too personally. i know i got a bit flared up at times by someone saying something to what i posted, and sometimes it was because they were being inconsiderate and rude, and sometimes it was because i was too emotional and took it too personally. there's a balance. i generally won't read a thread i know will upset me because i see it as a waste of my energy (to get upset over something trivial like someone else's opinion not matching mine).
i also feel like while it's good to say things to the community as a whole to raise awareness, at the same time i would think the problem would be better handled by addressing those particular individuals personally, thru PMs. i come on this site to have fun, to chat with friends, to relieve stress, and to be honest, it was somewhat frustrating to feel like i was being lectured to. perhaps i was one of the people who needed it, i don't know. i think i've been pretty considerate of others, but it possible i might have slipped, i'm human. and i would expect for that person or a mod to address me individually for it.
i will also say that this is a case in point in where i've been having a shitty few weeks, so i'm not in a good place emotionally and i might be taking this too personally. that's something i think everyone needs to learn to recognize in themselves. remember, opinions are like assholes.....
i think i had something else in mind, but i am forgetting it right now.
don't get me wrong, i am thankful pele said what she did, and i think it probably needed to be said, but i also wanted to voice a minority opinion, in case maybe someone else thought about it, however briefly, too, but was too afraid to speak up. most of you who know me should know i am a very considerate person (at least i'd like to believe i am), and i try to watch out for other people's feelings. i always preview my post when posting something important, and i have actually changed my posts before when it offended someone. so if i have offended anyone in any way, just send me a PM and we'll chat about it like adults
i think a lot of what has been said needed to be said. i also am going to agree with some of the few heads on here who have said that debates are ok, and some of the debates going on that some people find offensive, i don't feel that they are. i think there are some people here who have been quite rude in their posts, but i also think there are some people who have taken it way too personally. i know i got a bit flared up at times by someone saying something to what i posted, and sometimes it was because they were being inconsiderate and rude, and sometimes it was because i was too emotional and took it too personally. there's a balance. i generally won't read a thread i know will upset me because i see it as a waste of my energy (to get upset over something trivial like someone else's opinion not matching mine).
i also feel like while it's good to say things to the community as a whole to raise awareness, at the same time i would think the problem would be better handled by addressing those particular individuals personally, thru PMs. i come on this site to have fun, to chat with friends, to relieve stress, and to be honest, it was somewhat frustrating to feel like i was being lectured to. perhaps i was one of the people who needed it, i don't know. i think i've been pretty considerate of others, but it possible i might have slipped, i'm human. and i would expect for that person or a mod to address me individually for it.
i will also say that this is a case in point in where i've been having a shitty few weeks, so i'm not in a good place emotionally and i might be taking this too personally. that's something i think everyone needs to learn to recognize in themselves. remember, opinions are like assholes.....
i think i had something else in mind, but i am forgetting it right now.
don't get me wrong, i am thankful pele said what she did, and i think it probably needed to be said, but i also wanted to voice a minority opinion, in case maybe someone else thought about it, however briefly, too, but was too afraid to speak up. most of you who know me should know i am a very considerate person (at least i'd like to believe i am), and i try to watch out for other people's feelings. i always preview my post when posting something important, and i have actually changed my posts before when it offended someone. so if i have offended anyone in any way, just send me a PM and we'll chat about it like adults
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
Posted:I would say if anyone is an offender and was not PMed, and only this thread was made then that would be a very poor decision.
Casting doubt on people about rather or not their posts are offensive without singling anyone out privately isn't productive. If I said something offensive, and I dodn't realize it was offensive what prevents me from not saying it again?
Casting doubt on people about rather or not their posts are offensive without singling anyone out privately isn't productive. If I said something offensive, and I dodn't realize it was offensive what prevents me from not saying it again?
Delete
Posted:Indeed Astar, I had that thought as well.
In the cyclical nature of love and hate on HoP, whenever this 'dirty laundry' thread resurfaces it IS often too vague. I think specific offensive threads should be targeted as well. Rather than just preaching to the choir like we're doing now.
But again... all for the sentiment. PLUR.
In the cyclical nature of love and hate on HoP, whenever this 'dirty laundry'
thread resurfaces it IS often too vague. I think specific offensive threads should be targeted as well. Rather than just preaching to the choir like we're doing now.But again... all for the sentiment. PLUR.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
Posted:Sometimes this family can be hard to get into...
But it's a lovely family and I'll keep trying
But it's a lovely family and I'll keep trying
Monkeys monkeys and bananas
DeletePosted:I'm new. But I read this thread and have a few thoughts from the newbie perspective...
I thought Pele's message set an important tone - especially for new people. I sensed there were boundaries but it's good to have an official word on it. Yes, it's important to address specific people privately but it never hurts to spread awareness about big issues - like tolerance. And it seems like peeps didn't know this was happening. I didn't.
Virtual dialog can be tough because I might say something like "Uh-huh right I bet you are" and you might get upset. But if you were in this freezing cold room with me we'd both be laughing. And I'd probably even give you a hug cuz I'm into that.
Anyway, I have a lot of fun with this site. It keeps me entertained while I'm at my fun - totally fun - but very boring day job. Not to mention that it's nice to be cared about. Which is why this got posted in the first place. Thanks to Pele for stepping up.
Namaste, maktub, l'chiam, cohelo suave, loveya and the whole 9. Hope yer having a warm one in whatever global corner yer in
Over and out....
I thought Pele's message set an important tone - especially for new people. I sensed there were boundaries but it's good to have an official word on it. Yes, it's important to address specific people privately but it never hurts to spread awareness about big issues - like tolerance. And it seems like peeps didn't know this was happening. I didn't.
Virtual dialog can be tough because I might say something like "Uh-huh right I bet you are" and you might get upset. But if you were in this freezing cold room with me we'd both be laughing. And I'd probably even give you a hug cuz I'm into that.
Anyway, I have a lot of fun with this site. It keeps me entertained while I'm at my fun - totally fun - but very boring day job. Not to mention that it's nice to be cared about. Which is why this got posted in the first place. Thanks to Pele for stepping up.
Namaste, maktub, l'chiam, cohelo suave, loveya and the whole 9. Hope yer having a warm one in whatever global corner yer in
Over and out....
All the freaky people make the beauty of the world.
Posted:People are dealt with personally through PM's, emails and even at times I have made phone calls. Many complaints were coming in through emails and PM's as well.
Which means, a group reminder is exactly what was in order.
Obviously if I am going to say something like this on here, then I would also use PM to single someone out. It concerns everyone working together regardless of whether or not you offended anyone. Sometimes a reminder is helpful even to the innocent.
And if it made you think or wonder, and relook at some of your posts, then good. That is what it was for.
There is no reason to name name's or pull out specific threads NYC, and you know that. If that were to happen then people would be complaining that it wasn't fair to be chastised in public...and I agree. This is a double edged sword and vagueness will always win on it because that is respecting the privacy of others. This is not chop-chop square and there will be no public drawing and quartering. It doesn't necessarily fit into the accepting community theme we have here.
And remember, just because you don't see it, does not mean that other people do not. There are things going on with this board that I think alot of members have no comprehension of because they choose not to, and that is fine. However, a public statement was still very much in order so that everyone does, in fact, pay attention to how they treat others. Apathy, as you know, is contagious.
Thread/Posts have been amended, people have been PM'd but you know what? That is *alot* of work for us mods at times, and on a purely selfish side, if people would take the time to respect one another's opinions, thoughts, spelling errors, whatever... then perhaps I wouldn't feel compelled to put up a post like this to reduce the work we do.
Kindest Regards to all,
Pele
Which means, a group reminder is exactly what was in order.
Obviously if I am going to say something like this on here, then I would also use PM to single someone out. It concerns everyone working together regardless of whether or not you offended anyone. Sometimes a reminder is helpful even to the innocent.
And if it made you think or wonder, and relook at some of your posts, then good. That is what it was for.
There is no reason to name name's or pull out specific threads NYC, and you know that. If that were to happen then people would be complaining that it wasn't fair to be chastised in public...and I agree. This is a double edged sword and vagueness will always win on it because that is respecting the privacy of others. This is not chop-chop square and there will be no public drawing and quartering. It doesn't necessarily fit into the accepting community theme we have here.
And remember, just because you don't see it, does not mean that other people do not. There are things going on with this board that I think alot of members have no comprehension of because they choose not to, and that is fine. However, a public statement was still very much in order so that everyone does, in fact, pay attention to how they treat others. Apathy, as you know, is contagious.
Thread/Posts have been amended, people have been PM'd but you know what? That is *alot* of work for us mods at times, and on a purely selfish side, if people would take the time to respect one another's opinions, thoughts, spelling errors, whatever... then perhaps I wouldn't feel compelled to put up a post like this to reduce the work we do.
Kindest Regards to all,
Pele
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
Posted:I would like to try to apologies to the people that, I know for a fact, I have caused harm to.
Rozi, we have had some great times, and it was all due to your personality and your charm, all of our terrible and tragic times, were due to me and my own faults and failures. I failed you as a partner and as a friend, I dont know how you could ever forgive me but I hope that one day you will.
Flynt, I really dont know what happened, we were really good friends and I felt that I could tell you anything. I know that it was my overreaction to basically everything that led to the end of our friendship. I am sorry for everything that I have ever said that hurt you.
Dom, NYC, Mike, I have basically been an ass to you since we first spoke. I dont really know why. Perhaps I was threatened by you, perhaps I just didnt like the fact that you were right in some cases and I was wrong some meaning almost all. I had no reason to act the way I did and for that I am sorry.
There are many others that I have offended in some way or another. Though I couldnt possibly mention them all, I would like for them all to know that I do apologies for it.
I am going to try my best to keep my temper and my argumentative side in check. I hope that I can stop being the dark cloud over HoP and go back to the way I was before I read the Anti-war thread and all this negativity just jumped from within me.
Rozi, we have had some great times, and it was all due to your personality and your charm, all of our terrible and tragic times, were due to me and my own faults and failures. I failed you as a partner and as a friend, I dont know how you could ever forgive me but I hope that one day you will.
Flynt, I really dont know what happened, we were really good friends and I felt that I could tell you anything. I know that it was my overreaction to basically everything that led to the end of our friendship. I am sorry for everything that I have ever said that hurt you.
Dom, NYC, Mike, I have basically been an ass to you since we first spoke. I dont really know why. Perhaps I was threatened by you, perhaps I just didnt like the fact that you were right in some cases and I was wrong some meaning almost all. I had no reason to act the way I did and for that I am sorry.
There are many others that I have offended in some way or another. Though I couldnt possibly mention them all, I would like for them all to know that I do apologies for it.
I am going to try my best to keep my temper and my argumentative side in check. I hope that I can stop being the dark cloud over HoP and go back to the way I was before I read the Anti-war thread and all this negativity just jumped from within me.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
DeleteDoc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001
![Doc Lightning]()
HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Total posts: 13920
GOLD Member since May 2001
HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Ray, you might be an ass, but you're OUR ass and we love you for it. (Just kidding)
Now, when are you coming back to SoCal so we can go out for a drink?
(Just kidding)Now, when are you coming back to SoCal so we can go out for a drink?
-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura
Posted:Ive been back in SoCal for a while Mike, any time you want that drink hit me up and we'll head out.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
DeleteDoc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001
![Doc Lightning]()
HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Total posts: 13920
GOLD Member since May 2001
HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Total posts: 13920
Posted:I might be heading to SD for Spring Break, so I'll let ya know. Keep track of your PM's.
(See, Pele et al? In spite of it all, this board is still a good thing!)
(See, Pele et al? In spite of it all, this board is still a good thing!)
-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura
Posted:Quote:
(See, Pele et al? In spite of it all, this board is still a good thing!)
That was never in doubt, my love, not once.
Hi Ray!
(See, Pele et al? In spite of it all, this board is still a good thing!)
That was never in doubt, my love, not once.
Hi Ray!
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
Posted:Hello Pele, but please call me Fireproof.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
DeleteCharles
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001
![Charles]()
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland
Total posts: 3989
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland
Total posts: 3989
Posted:Wow! All I do is work fulltime, run two businesses and look after my wonderful wife and perfect son...Surely I should have time to read threads like this before they get to three pages long!
Pele, a great thread, we should really talk a bit more often like we used to...
A little note for those saying arguments and difference of opinions have their place. Yes they do, but there are lots of different ways to explore them
Here's a few rules to turn even the worst post into something better, without losing the main concept
1. But "I believe" in front of any categircal statement about the subject at hand.
2. Put "It appears to me that" in front of any statements trying to rationlize or understand why someone wrote what they did.
3. Always make a suggestion at the end that adds to the origanal requets of the thread.
EG Quote:
I bleieve that XYZPOIPOI has got the whole thing wrong, Policeman should be allowed to ride gentically engineered flying pigs, IF lives can be saved.
It appears to me that some people just see GE and go nuts, turning into pyschotic gerbils with underpants on their heads!
Just deal with it!
PS Flying policeman is a good idea, but perhaps we should just stick to helicopters like they alreayd have!
You don't lose much and it is still a little offensive to XYZ, but it is much more palatable ...!
.....
Quote:
XYZPOIPOI has got the whole thing wrong, Policeman should be allowed to ride gentically engineered flying pigs, IF lives can be saved.
Some people just see GE and go nuts, turning into pyschotic gerbils with underpants on their heads!
Just deal with it!
Pele, a great thread, we should really talk a bit more often like we used to...
A little note for those saying arguments and difference of opinions have their place. Yes they do, but there are lots of different ways to explore them
Here's a few rules to turn even the worst post into something better, without losing the main concept
1. But "I believe" in front of any categircal statement about the subject at hand.
2. Put "It appears to me that" in front of any statements trying to rationlize or understand why someone wrote what they did.
3. Always make a suggestion at the end that adds to the origanal requets of the thread.
EG Quote:
I bleieve that XYZPOIPOI has got the whole thing wrong, Policeman should be allowed to ride gentically engineered flying pigs, IF lives can be saved.
It appears to me that some people just see GE and go nuts, turning into pyschotic gerbils with underpants on their heads!
Just deal with it!
PS Flying policeman is a good idea, but perhaps we should just stick to helicopters like they alreayd have!
You don't lose much and it is still a little offensive to XYZ, but it is much more palatable ...!
.....
Quote:
XYZPOIPOI has got the whole thing wrong, Policeman should be allowed to ride gentically engineered flying pigs, IF lives can be saved.
Some people just see GE and go nuts, turning into pyschotic gerbils with underpants on their heads!
Just deal with it!
HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Posted:Quote:
I would like to try to apologies to the people that, I know for a fact, I have caused harm to.
Dom, NYC, Mike, I have basically been an ass to you since we first spoke. I don’t really know why. Perhaps I was threatened by you, perhaps I just didn’t like the fact that you were right in some cases and I was wrong… some meaning almost all. I had no reason to act the way I did and for that I am sorry.
Dunno Ray, I live in a "oops, my bad" society. There is no isolated event to apologize for. Your actions occurred very consiously over several hundred posts and many months. It was accompanied by everything from polite requests to pathetic pleas for you to stop antagonizing. You bragged, you attacked, you paraded your antisocial behavior in every venue available. Again, and again, and again. The moderators did nothing because you were intensely calculated in how you worded your personal attacks and drew rage and anger out of others and then fooling them into seeming like the victim whenever the Mods were looking.
Then you had some epiphany and realized all the damage you'd done and decided to leave HoP. Many of the people who you'd antagonized over the years vocally applauded your departure but many more decided it classier to be silent. Dom always believed that your exit was merely another stunt f you to save face. Like I said, I guess I owe Dom a beer.
And now you're back to play your little chess game of hurting people in such a way that you can still save face. You're even changing your name. Frankly, I don't know how you get away with it old comrade.
You admit in writing that you've been an ass to me and people I love ...in a thread that is ALL ABOUT showing respect and you're already getting kisses from Moderators.
You're better than me, man, you're better than me.
You spent hundreds of posts alienating people I loved, making them feel unwelcome and unwilling to post anymore. You antagonized people I respect into nolonger feeling comfortable discussing relevant issues. You turned a sizable portion of HoP discussions into dark, bitter, and hurtful threads. You used and abused the system.... just like you are now. And now you belittle all you have done with a half hearted "oops, my bad"
Talk about "Lack of Respect on HoP."
I would like to try to apologies to the people that, I know for a fact, I have caused harm to.
Dom, NYC, Mike, I have basically been an ass to you since we first spoke. I don’t really know why. Perhaps I was threatened by you, perhaps I just didn’t like the fact that you were right in some cases and I was wrong… some meaning almost all. I had no reason to act the way I did and for that I am sorry.
Dunno Ray, I live in a "oops, my bad" society. There is no isolated event to apologize for. Your actions occurred very consiously over several hundred posts and many months. It was accompanied by everything from polite requests to pathetic pleas for you to stop antagonizing. You bragged, you attacked, you paraded your antisocial behavior in every venue available. Again, and again, and again. The moderators did nothing because you were intensely calculated in how you worded your personal attacks and drew rage and anger out of others and then fooling them into seeming like the victim whenever the Mods were looking.
Then you had some epiphany and realized all the damage you'd done and decided to leave HoP. Many of the people who you'd antagonized over the years vocally applauded your departure but many more decided it classier to be silent. Dom always believed that your exit was merely another stunt f you to save face. Like I said, I guess I owe Dom a beer.
And now you're back to play your little chess game of hurting people in such a way that you can still save face. You're even changing your name. Frankly, I don't know how you get away with it old comrade.
You admit in writing that you've been an ass to me and people I love ...in a thread that is ALL ABOUT showing respect and you're already getting kisses from Moderators.
You're better than me, man, you're better than me.
You spent hundreds of posts alienating people I loved, making them feel unwelcome and unwilling to post anymore. You antagonized people I respect into nolonger feeling comfortable discussing relevant issues. You turned a sizable portion of HoP discussions into dark, bitter, and hurtful threads. You used and abused the system.... just like you are now. And now you belittle all you have done with a half hearted "oops, my bad"
Talk about "Lack of Respect on HoP."
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
Posted:If somebody PMs me, I'll PM them back. If somebody says something to me online, I should be allowed to respond online.
It's only fair, no?
This is typical Mill. Ray says something inflamatory in a seemingly naive way, people are inflamed and then they get yelled at for REacting. Ray makes a point of it being public. Otherwise it's no fun for him.
It's only fair, no?
This is typical Mill. Ray says something inflamatory in a seemingly naive way, people are inflamed and then they get yelled at for REacting. Ray makes a point of it being public. Otherwise it's no fun for him.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
pounce
SILVER Member since Jan 2003
![pounce]()
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Total posts: 9831
SILVER Member since Jan 2003
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Total posts: 9831
Posted:*debates on commenting or staying quiet*
well i'll say this, i wasn't around for said controversy, but if in fact what NYC said is true (and the rumors seem to all coincide), then i think a public statement like that was appropriate.
well i'll say this, i wasn't around for said controversy, but if in fact what NYC said is true (and the rumors seem to all coincide), then i think a public statement like that was appropriate.
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
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