Forums > Social Chat > For Shame
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
So, when I meet people of an "older set" I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do. I realized this the other night when I was talking with PWB. There are stigma's attached to circus style skills, to Bellydancing and to the arts in general and I don't want those directly applied to be just because this is my passion. I also have found that trying to explain these things to these particular people tends to illicit a negaive reaction because their minds do not expand that way, they simply do not work in that scope.
Does anyone else face this ever?
In many other circles of people I am very proud of what I do. And this is not an avoidable situation, as I have to be around my friends parents and such. I am facing meeting another set at the end of the week and have no idea how to handle it. To ignore the question would be rude, and I would not lie. It is no secret that I am emotional and stubborn so the harsh statements that come from these people really do effect me.
I am knowledgable and very proud of what I do, until I get backed into a corner, and this is truly how I feel in these situations.
Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?
So, when I meet people of an "older set" I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do. I realized this the other night when I was talking with PWB. There are stigma's attached to circus style skills, to Bellydancing and to the arts in general and I don't want those directly applied to be just because this is my passion. I also have found that trying to explain these things to these particular people tends to illicit a negaive reaction because their minds do not expand that way, they simply do not work in that scope.
Does anyone else face this ever?
In many other circles of people I am very proud of what I do. And this is not an avoidable situation, as I have to be around my friends parents and such. I am facing meeting another set at the end of the week and have no idea how to handle it. To ignore the question would be rude, and I would not lie. It is no secret that I am emotional and stubborn so the harsh statements that come from these people really do effect me.
I am knowledgable and very proud of what I do, until I get backed into a corner, and this is truly how I feel in these situations.
Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
ambiguous
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
Posted:
In most circles I'm embarassed to say I do poi. Which is unfortunate. Some people just get confused, it's not very big around here so the vast majority of people are clueless. In the "electronic music" circle there are alot of jaded elitist people who bash anything "kandy" like. Though alot of people in that scene think it's really cool as well.
In most circles I'm embarassed to say I do poi. Which is unfortunate. Some people just get confused, it's not very big around here so the vast majority of people are clueless. In the "electronic music" circle there are alot of jaded elitist people who bash anything "kandy" like. Though alot of people in that scene think it's really cool as well.
_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................
Quantum Theorist
564 posts
Location: Vansterdam
564 posts
Location: Vansterdam
Posted:
I'm a:
- Hacker
- A firedancer
- fencer/swordsman
- Candy Raver
- Teenager
- A Witch/Wiccan
- A Star Wars Fan
do older generations look down on me for these things? Yes. Do I care? No.
Here's what they can't/refuse to see:
- Honour role student
- Haven't Graded high school yet but I have college cert in Information Technology
- I'm in a serious relationship with a girl I love going on three years
- I have a job and a business on the side
So just because I wear baggy clothes and a togue doesn't mean I'm a bad person. So no one should feel bad for who they are
I'm a:
- Hacker
- A firedancer
- fencer/swordsman
- Candy Raver
- Teenager
- A Witch/Wiccan
- A Star Wars Fan
do older generations look down on me for these things? Yes. Do I care? No.
Here's what they can't/refuse to see:
- Honour role student
- Haven't Graded high school yet but I have college cert in Information Technology
- I'm in a serious relationship with a girl I love going on three years
- I have a job and a business on the side
So just because I wear baggy clothes and a togue doesn't mean I'm a bad person. So no one should feel bad for who they are
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.
member
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.
Posted:
hehe a hacker.
hehe a hacker.
Enter a "Title" here:
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
Posted:
People are afraid of what they dont know. Pele, not everyone understands the fun that you can have when spinning poi or doing anything else that isnt a norm. I mean I have had people question how I can sit in my room all the time playing computer games, they dont see it as fun. Personally I dont see yelling at a TV because somebody with a ball screwed up as fun.
Everyone has a difference of opinions, that is life. There are some people that you just need to ignore.
People are afraid of what they dont know. Pele, not everyone understands the fun that you can have when spinning poi or doing anything else that isnt a norm. I mean I have had people question how I can sit in my room all the time playing computer games, they dont see it as fun. Personally I dont see yelling at a TV because somebody with a ball screwed up as fun.
Everyone has a difference of opinions, that is life. There are some people that you just need to ignore.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
member
119 posts
Location: fort worth, TX, USA
119 posts
Location: fort worth, TX, USA
Posted:
i never get ashamed when i tell people i spin and breathe fire. most of the people look at me like im quite possibly be the stupidist person alive, especially when the see the scar on the side of my mouth running down to my chin from a fire eating screw up. and sure....people talk trash about kandy kids and crap like that, but how many of them would have the nuts to pick up a pair of poi with three different wicks on each chain and get lost in the dance? i do what i love and love what i do, so what the hell does it matter to any of them. and trust me, even the people who look at you with scorn when you tell them will cheer when they see it. just like my family did. they talked smack about it for about 5 months until i got tired of it one day and called up my entire troupe....in half an hour they were there and were lit up and my family LOVED it. so i wouldnt worry about it too much pele...you make a good life for yourself and your son...and you are both happy...which is alot more then alot of people can say
i never get ashamed when i tell people i spin and breathe fire. most of the people look at me like im quite possibly be the stupidist person alive, especially when the see the scar on the side of my mouth running down to my chin from a fire eating screw up. and sure....people talk trash about kandy kids and crap like that, but how many of them would have the nuts to pick up a pair of poi with three different wicks on each chain and get lost in the dance? i do what i love and love what i do, so what the hell does it matter to any of them. and trust me, even the people who look at you with scorn when you tell them will cheer when they see it. just like my family did. they talked smack about it for about 5 months until i got tired of it one day and called up my entire troupe....in half an hour they were there and were lit up and my family LOVED it. so i wouldnt worry about it too much pele...you make a good life for yourself and your son...and you are both happy...which is alot more then alot of people can say
its to dying in anothers arms and why i had to try it......
member
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.
Posted:
Im just curious how did you get that scar fire eatting? Did you have fuel dripping off of the wick while it was burning or something?
Im just curious how did you get that scar fire eatting? Did you have fuel dripping off of the wick while it was burning or something?
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
For the most part it is my family that is so scornful. That's what makes it so hard. They don't think this is a good living to raise my son with (then again, he is 8 with a mohawk and both of his ears pierced, and I don't think they are happy about that either). I hate feeling this way.
Thanks everyone for the thoughtful and insightful responses.
I find this very interesting.
Pele
For the most part it is my family that is so scornful. That's what makes it so hard. They don't think this is a good living to raise my son with (then again, he is 8 with a mohawk and both of his ears pierced, and I don't think they are happy about that either). I hate feeling this way.
Thanks everyone for the thoughtful and insightful responses.
I find this very interesting.
Pele
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
member
165 posts
Location: Halifax, NS
165 posts
Location: Halifax, NS
Posted:
from the time i was out of high school i did serious stuff, pulled two degrees in 3 years was ranked in the top 100 in the world in my chosen field of sociology and after 7 years straight of giving back to society i have a right to have fun.
So if i wanna run away and join the circus ( or start my own ) i have the right to ..
I don't have a problem with the old people they just nod and start with the questions ( how do you do this, how do you do that) its the kids that make me wanna start slapping people around .. they think it's easy and if some people ( specifically old and fat like myself ) do it professionally then they can do it too.. then they screw up in public or beak off at the wrong time and make all fire performers look silly ...
it's not the profession that is looked down on.. it's the amatuers that give the profession a bad name...
so i guess no .. no i'm not ashamed of any part of my life ( and no one but myself can make me feel ashamed ) .. if i was .. i'd change it ..
from the time i was out of high school i did serious stuff, pulled two degrees in 3 years was ranked in the top 100 in the world in my chosen field of sociology and after 7 years straight of giving back to society i have a right to have fun.
So if i wanna run away and join the circus ( or start my own ) i have the right to ..
I don't have a problem with the old people they just nod and start with the questions ( how do you do this, how do you do that) its the kids that make me wanna start slapping people around .. they think it's easy and if some people ( specifically old and fat like myself ) do it professionally then they can do it too.. then they screw up in public or beak off at the wrong time and make all fire performers look silly ...
it's not the profession that is looked down on.. it's the amatuers that give the profession a bad name...
so i guess no .. no i'm not ashamed of any part of my life ( and no one but myself can make me feel ashamed ) .. if i was .. i'd change it ..
thats right i look like an albino ape that has had a bad day.. go ahead say something stupid... i dare ya !
member
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK
Posted:
In general I don't mind talking to older people about breathing, spinning, my Grandmother has seen me spin.
What bugs me more is the reaction I get from some hippy types when they hear the sort of salary I'm on or that I went to Cambridge University.
In general I don't mind talking to older people about breathing, spinning, my Grandmother has seen me spin.
What bugs me more is the reaction I get from some hippy types when they hear the sort of salary I'm on or that I went to Cambridge University.
Magnus... pay it forward
BRONZE Member
member
70 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
member
70 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
I have to agree with some of the others here, Some people will dislike some aspect of your life, so what providing you are enjoying it.
I have tried many of the circus skills, Juggling, poi, staff, devil sticks, diablo, etc and am moving into knife throwing, whip cracking and lasso spins.
I am a re-inactor, and as such i use all mannor of weapons and am regualrly bruised, or cut, and sometimes much worse. I have had nearly every finger badly injured and have had 2 broken and nearly had the tip of one cut off.
I am a roleplayer, or at least i was as i dont have time for it anymore... its where the whole Toreador Vampire bit comes from.
I work hard, never made it to uni, but pull a good salary. For the record I work for a little know software company called Microsoft, and yes i get stick for it. Do i care? not really, those i care about, and therefore value what they think of me, accept me for who i am. everyone else can form their own opinions, and if i don't like them I just ignore it.
Life is for living, enjoy it. And if you truely don't want to explain yourself to people then you shouldn't have to.
Oh and i find taking a set of POI along and just doing it helps make people understand, they can see the skill and the pleasure you get from it.
Be true to yourself and you should never have to be worried.
Vamp
I have to agree with some of the others here, Some people will dislike some aspect of your life, so what providing you are enjoying it.
I have tried many of the circus skills, Juggling, poi, staff, devil sticks, diablo, etc and am moving into knife throwing, whip cracking and lasso spins.
I am a re-inactor, and as such i use all mannor of weapons and am regualrly bruised, or cut, and sometimes much worse. I have had nearly every finger badly injured and have had 2 broken and nearly had the tip of one cut off.
I am a roleplayer, or at least i was as i dont have time for it anymore... its where the whole Toreador Vampire bit comes from.
I work hard, never made it to uni, but pull a good salary. For the record I work for a little know software company called Microsoft, and yes i get stick for it. Do i care? not really, those i care about, and therefore value what they think of me, accept me for who i am. everyone else can form their own opinions, and if i don't like them I just ignore it.
Life is for living, enjoy it. And if you truely don't want to explain yourself to people then you shouldn't have to.
Oh and i find taking a set of POI along and just doing it helps make people understand, they can see the skill and the pleasure you get from it.
Be true to yourself and you should never have to be worried.
Vamp
Give a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life
-- Terry Pratchett-Jingo
Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
People just see me as eccentric. They realize that I clearly have a future.
However, on the flight to London, I was first asked why I was going. I explained. Then I was asked what I did. I explained. I had to pull out my student ID card to prove it to them.
People just see me as eccentric. They realize that I clearly have a future.
However, on the flight to London, I was first asked why I was going. I explained. Then I was asked what I did. I explained. I had to pull out my student ID card to prove it to them.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
Stream Entrant
2,829 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Stream Entrant
2,829 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted:
quote:Yeah, I find that true, but I don’t know why. Perhaps it stems form when people looked down on theatre and vaudeville. We had a cousin who became a juggler in a circus, and the family disowned him.
There are stigma's attached to circus style skills
If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh
GOLD Member
member
80 posts
Location: Massachusetts, US, USA
member
80 posts
Location: Massachusetts, US, USA
Posted:
also i think the rather elitest american culture tends to look down on people who go into professions that don't take complete advantage of whatever socio-economic privelage you might be born into. in other words, if you're doing something that you didn't need to go to college for, people often see it as less "legitmimate" than a profession that you needed formal education for.
perhaps because americans in general still associate money with hapiness. and if you're actually happy doing something where you don't make the most money possible then there must be something wrong with you.
a lot of my friends are looked down upon when they take a year off from college or drop out to do something else that makes then happier.
also i think the rather elitest american culture tends to look down on people who go into professions that don't take complete advantage of whatever socio-economic privelage you might be born into. in other words, if you're doing something that you didn't need to go to college for, people often see it as less "legitmimate" than a profession that you needed formal education for.
perhaps because americans in general still associate money with hapiness. and if you're actually happy doing something where you don't make the most money possible then there must be something wrong with you.
a lot of my friends are looked down upon when they take a year off from college or drop out to do something else that makes then happier.
old hand
725 posts
Location: Chester, UK
725 posts
Location: Chester, UK
Posted:
People at work are used to me coming in, brandising poi, swords, bows... In fact its when I'm not doing something 'strange' or 'weird' they get worried.
Just this morning I was howing them my new sword in the canteen, getting some funny looks in the process.
Do what you wanna do. If they don't like it, just ask em not to watch.
People at work are used to me coming in, brandising poi, swords, bows... In fact its when I'm not doing something 'strange' or 'weird' they get worried.
Just this morning I was howing them my new sword in the canteen, getting some funny looks in the process.
Do what you wanna do. If they don't like it, just ask em not to watch.
Spoiling Christmas for small children since 2003.
Booojakasha
121 posts
Location: Brisbane QLD Australia
121 posts
Location: Brisbane QLD Australia
Posted:
Hey all, havn't posted here in yonks now. How are ya all! This thread caught my eye. Thought that this poem might throw a bit of light on the subject. Took me ages to find as well, hope you enjoy.
The Guy in the Glass
Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Be who you want to be, forget the rest it is the only way you will be truly be happy.
Hey all, havn't posted here in yonks now. How are ya all! This thread caught my eye. Thought that this poem might throw a bit of light on the subject. Took me ages to find as well, hope you enjoy.
The Guy in the Glass
Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Be who you want to be, forget the rest it is the only way you will be truly be happy.
Simply an excuse to play with fire.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
quote:It's not necessarily a money thing, per se, but a status thing. Money enters into it because higher status jobs make more money, but in my particular culture, being a Doctor is more highly regarded than being a CEO, even though the CEO makes more money. Having said that, most doctors aren't exactly paupers...
Originally posted by Leliel:
also i think the rather elitest american culture tends to look down on people who go into professions that don't take complete advantage of whatever socio-economic privelage you might be born into. in other words, if you're doing something that you didn't need to go to college for, people often see it as less "legitmimate" than a profession that you needed formal education for.
perhaps because americans in general still associate money with hapiness.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
ambiguous
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
646 posts
Location: Mpls, MN, USA
Posted:
Though after watching a little of 60 minutes last night ( I was probably their youngest viewer) I don't envy you Mike, if you live through the paper work, lawsuits, and liability taxes you'll be more than lucky. that article kind of made me angry.
The one thing I got going for me is that from a purely visual point of view, I don't fit the model for mainstream culture here. I'm different ( ) and this makes people slow to judge out of fear of being not politically correct. So I have some freedom in that even though in pretty much every respect I'm a "typical" midwestern city dweller.
Though after watching a little of 60 minutes last night ( I was probably their youngest viewer) I don't envy you Mike, if you live through the paper work, lawsuits, and liability taxes you'll be more than lucky. that article kind of made me angry.
The one thing I got going for me is that from a purely visual point of view, I don't fit the model for mainstream culture here. I'm different ( ) and this makes people slow to judge out of fear of being not politically correct. So I have some freedom in that even though in pretty much every respect I'm a "typical" midwestern city dweller.
_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................
member
442 posts
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
442 posts
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Posted:
You are a teacher of women wellness classes. This includes flexibility and coordination training. As well as diet assistance and aromatherapy treatments.
You are a consultant for performers. You help with image and marketing.
You are a writer. You have published works Internationally for performance e-mags. You have published works that will help doctors as well as insurance companies.
You are a world renowned expert in the safety and details of fire performing.
You are the Goddess Pele. If they keep asking stupid questions you will erupt in a firey trail of lava.
You are a teacher of women wellness classes. This includes flexibility and coordination training. As well as diet assistance and aromatherapy treatments.
You are a consultant for performers. You help with image and marketing.
You are a writer. You have published works Internationally for performance e-mags. You have published works that will help doctors as well as insurance companies.
You are a world renowned expert in the safety and details of fire performing.
You are the Goddess Pele. If they keep asking stupid questions you will erupt in a firey trail of lava.
FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
quote:Hey, keep that kinky bedroom stuff between the two of you.
you will erupt in a firey trail of lava.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
member
167 posts
Location: Bergen , Norway
167 posts
Location: Bergen , Norway
Posted:
and what I do is ask them if they follow TV'series like...Ally Mcbeal....Days of our lives....and all of those 'lightly' entertaining TV show.....(many do admit that cause what a lot of people do is watching TV in their spare time)....
then I just say......"And I'm supposed to have a stupid hobby???? Ey!" or I say something else with the same point...(depends who I say it to)....
Shuts them up every time....before you know it they show their interest....
Who cares what other people think anyway ?
I do Poi for my own sake.....could do Yoga/aerobic/tai-chi/tv-zapping/....but I dont....I do poi....
Poi is a part of me.....like me or dont....
quote:I sort of know what you mean...(I'm 27 not there yet but ON my way).....I'm not a profesional but still get the looks and suggestive comments.....
Originally posted by Pele:
So, when I meet people of an "older set" I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do.
and what I do is ask them if they follow TV'series like...Ally Mcbeal....Days of our lives....and all of those 'lightly' entertaining TV show.....(many do admit that cause what a lot of people do is watching TV in their spare time)....
then I just say......"And I'm supposed to have a stupid hobby???? Ey!" or I say something else with the same point...(depends who I say it to)....
Shuts them up every time....before you know it they show their interest....
Who cares what other people think anyway ?
I do Poi for my own sake.....could do Yoga/aerobic/tai-chi/tv-zapping/....but I dont....I do poi....
Poi is a part of me.....like me or dont....
I like Fire.. :)
member
167 posts
Location: Bergen , Norway
167 posts
Location: Bergen , Norway
Posted:
when you die ...you die......
so stop wasting time.........
and justifying your love and passion to others is a waste of time...
[ 11. March 2003, 11:42: Message edited by: Jackelero ]
when you die ...you die......
so stop wasting time.........
and justifying your love and passion to others is a waste of time...
[ 11. March 2003, 11:42: Message edited by: Jackelero ]
I like Fire.. :)
member
150 posts
Location: Sydney Australia
150 posts
Location: Sydney Australia
Posted:
"I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do"
Oh Pele, I find it so sad that people can make you feel that way! I have found in my experience it's fairly standard behaviour though. People knock what they don't or can't understand. I have also noticed that when you're a mother, these types tend to be most vehement with their opinions. And times it by a million when they're relatives!
"Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?"
I feel ashamed that I have so many people in my life that continue to make me feel & my family feel ashamed at how we are & live our lives!
"I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do"
Oh Pele, I find it so sad that people can make you feel that way! I have found in my experience it's fairly standard behaviour though. People knock what they don't or can't understand. I have also noticed that when you're a mother, these types tend to be most vehement with their opinions. And times it by a million when they're relatives!
"Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?"
I feel ashamed that I have so many people in my life that continue to make me feel & my family feel ashamed at how we are & live our lives!
People take different roads seeking fulfillment & happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.-H. Jackson Browne
GOLD Member
enthusiast
200 posts
Location: Harare, Zimbabwe, United Kingdom
enthusiast
200 posts
Location: Harare, Zimbabwe, United Kingdom
Posted:
Frankly, I couldn't think of a greater way to make a living than doing what you do, so try not to let it bother you when somebody tries to tell you otherwise...
Frankly, I couldn't think of a greater way to make a living than doing what you do, so try not to let it bother you when somebody tries to tell you otherwise...
Don't worry, be happy...
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Posted:
I'm more embarrassed to tell people I work for a very traditional heavy industry company than if I worked for a circus.
poi is just a hobby for me but it really amazes me that people can give you grief over poi! My parents think I'm a little nuts to play with fire (quote from my father after seeing me play poi "she was always mad in the head")
Not sure how my parents would be if I was to make poi my career. Don't think they would mind what I was to do as long as I lived closer by.
Don't ever let anyone with small closed minds make you feel ashamed Pele
I'm more embarrassed to tell people I work for a very traditional heavy industry company than if I worked for a circus.
poi is just a hobby for me but it really amazes me that people can give you grief over poi! My parents think I'm a little nuts to play with fire (quote from my father after seeing me play poi "she was always mad in the head")
Not sure how my parents would be if I was to make poi my career. Don't think they would mind what I was to do as long as I lived closer by.
Don't ever let anyone with small closed minds make you feel ashamed Pele
Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.
- W B Yeats
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
heh - I was just thinking the other day what all my old high school buds would think if I turned up at a reunion and told them I was a professional fire twirler...I guess I would have to do some kind of performance or something...lol
I'm not a professional fire twirler, but who knows? in 10 years maybe?
I reckon it all comes back to the dissonance between your own values and those of the social set in question.
I work in the legal field at the moment and the vast majority of the people I talk to value things like; good house in a prestigeous area, nice new prestige car, nice new suits, etc etc..
heh - I think a lot of the younger ones would have some of the same values as me, but if I werent working there I dont think they would talk to me much
I'm nowhere near the fringe dweller I think I could and might very well turn out to be in the not too distant future.
I'm getting more than a little bit sick of consumerism...
Josh
heh - I was just thinking the other day what all my old high school buds would think if I turned up at a reunion and told them I was a professional fire twirler...I guess I would have to do some kind of performance or something...lol
I'm not a professional fire twirler, but who knows? in 10 years maybe?
I reckon it all comes back to the dissonance between your own values and those of the social set in question.
I work in the legal field at the moment and the vast majority of the people I talk to value things like; good house in a prestigeous area, nice new prestige car, nice new suits, etc etc..
heh - I think a lot of the younger ones would have some of the same values as me, but if I werent working there I dont think they would talk to me much
I'm nowhere near the fringe dweller I think I could and might very well turn out to be in the not too distant future.
I'm getting more than a little bit sick of consumerism...
Josh
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,495 posts
Location: Stillwater, Ok. USA
veteran
1,495 posts
Location: Stillwater, Ok. USA
Posted:
I stopped carng much about what other people think about me a long time ago. That doesn't mean I am imperviouse, just tha tit usually doesn't affect me.
My family is proud of what I do, although they haven't seen my latest dance skills (booty shaking and sensual dance, but that is something I reserve for performances).
I think the only person in my family who has a problem with my fire twirling is my grandfather, but that is only because he is over protective (which is NOT a bad thing) and he worries I might get hurt.
As to what strangers think.....ignore them, their opinion doesn't truely matter as long as you belive in yourself.
don't let it get you down pele, there are a lot of us here who DO support you, and we don't think you are weird. (but you miht have to think about who that is coming from )
I stopped carng much about what other people think about me a long time ago. That doesn't mean I am imperviouse, just tha tit usually doesn't affect me.
My family is proud of what I do, although they haven't seen my latest dance skills (booty shaking and sensual dance, but that is something I reserve for performances).
I think the only person in my family who has a problem with my fire twirling is my grandfather, but that is only because he is over protective (which is NOT a bad thing) and he worries I might get hurt.
As to what strangers think.....ignore them, their opinion doesn't truely matter as long as you belive in yourself.
don't let it get you down pele, there are a lot of us here who DO support you, and we don't think you are weird. (but you miht have to think about who that is coming from )
we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!
member
14 posts
Location: austin,tx
14 posts
Location: austin,tx
Posted:
people fear themselves...they live their lives as one big ego-fest. what is "cool" or "stupid" is in the eye of the beholder. a person who wants to be a business man will idolize a successful business man and laugh at someone who barely gets by through doing something they love or better yet,by being themselves! Why? because most people are egotistical and selfish, and results in them manifesting this image that they think must be projected onto others around them(ecspecially the ones they idolize and hate).As a result most people grow deathly afraid of themselves,afraid that other people will not see them as the image they are trying to project. Sooooooo...the next time you feel cornered or uncomfortable when someone of a different occupational enviroment asks "what do you do?",relax and KNOW this,if your occupation is as far as someone is willing to look within you,you can garuantee thats as far as they have looked within themselves, and that is truly,truly,truuuuly a sad sight!
you are as cornered as you choose to be.
occupation is low,it's right down there with skin color and gender(it's truly insignifficant).
if someone judges you by your skin color,occupationor gender,are they seeing you? NO!if someone does this to you it has nothing to do with YOU and WHO you are,they will do that to anyone,you might as well not even be standing there!
BE YOURSELF,if people lash out at you they are lashing out at themslevses.dont let them steal your vitality by battling themselves.
people fear themselves...they live their lives as one big ego-fest. what is "cool" or "stupid" is in the eye of the beholder. a person who wants to be a business man will idolize a successful business man and laugh at someone who barely gets by through doing something they love or better yet,by being themselves! Why? because most people are egotistical and selfish, and results in them manifesting this image that they think must be projected onto others around them(ecspecially the ones they idolize and hate).As a result most people grow deathly afraid of themselves,afraid that other people will not see them as the image they are trying to project. Sooooooo...the next time you feel cornered or uncomfortable when someone of a different occupational enviroment asks "what do you do?",relax and KNOW this,if your occupation is as far as someone is willing to look within you,you can garuantee thats as far as they have looked within themselves, and that is truly,truly,truuuuly a sad sight!
you are as cornered as you choose to be.
occupation is low,it's right down there with skin color and gender(it's truly insignifficant).
if someone judges you by your skin color,occupationor gender,are they seeing you? NO!if someone does this to you it has nothing to do with YOU and WHO you are,they will do that to anyone,you might as well not even be standing there!
BE YOURSELF,if people lash out at you they are lashing out at themslevses.dont let them steal your vitality by battling themselves.
quote:"IT" does not exist until "YOU" acknowledge it.
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Thank you all so much. I am working really hard to resolve myself to not caring, and slowly I am getting better at it. I care about people and therefore care about what they think, and am really touchy about what people say will affect my son.
All in all I am really proud of all that I have done in my life, truthfully. I have an incredible group of friends and support group ( thank you HoPpers!), a fantastically smart-talented and loving son, a stable set of skills in many interesting and useful areas, quite an extensive educational back ground and more life experience than anyone I know. I am proud of that.
I just had hoped there was some way of expressing to the more critical ones why this means so incredibly much to me. Without being made to feel as if I have to apologize for the choices I have made, all of which I would make again.
Thank you all for the understanding and acceptence.
Thank you all so much. I am working really hard to resolve myself to not caring, and slowly I am getting better at it. I care about people and therefore care about what they think, and am really touchy about what people say will affect my son.
All in all I am really proud of all that I have done in my life, truthfully. I have an incredible group of friends and support group ( thank you HoPpers!), a fantastically smart-talented and loving son, a stable set of skills in many interesting and useful areas, quite an extensive educational back ground and more life experience than anyone I know. I am proud of that.
I just had hoped there was some way of expressing to the more critical ones why this means so incredibly much to me. Without being made to feel as if I have to apologize for the choices I have made, all of which I would make again.
Thank you all for the understanding and acceptence.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
member
442 posts
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
442 posts
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Posted:
I read through that post twice and never saw a mention of a loving boyfriend. One who even went so far as to embarrass himself by using the name "Whipping Boy."
I want to mention that I have tried to help Pele learn how to care less about what people think. She's been observing how I deal with people for almost 6 years now. She's still amazed.
I read through that post twice and never saw a mention of a loving boyfriend. One who even went so far as to embarrass himself by using the name "Whipping Boy."
I want to mention that I have tried to help Pele learn how to care less about what people think. She's been observing how I deal with people for almost 6 years now. She's still amazed.
FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson
BRONZE Member
old hand
1,186 posts
Location: under the fairie wheel, Australia
old hand
1,186 posts
Location: under the fairie wheel, Australia
Posted:
pele i have been branded gay because i couldnt be fited into any of the difrent groups at my high school
my step dads family have asked that i nolonger atend any family gatehrings
i am constantly getting asked why i dress and have the peircings that i do in a way that shows they dont understand and dont want to (in a thretend way because i choce to be who i am)
i some time think i should tam eit down a bit be then i say fark them i am who i am and there is no changing that and im happy with that
pele i have been branded gay because i couldnt be fited into any of the difrent groups at my high school
my step dads family have asked that i nolonger atend any family gatehrings
i am constantly getting asked why i dress and have the peircings that i do in a way that shows they dont understand and dont want to (in a thretend way because i choce to be who i am)
i some time think i should tam eit down a bit be then i say fark them i am who i am and there is no changing that and im happy with that
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, and screaming "WOO-HOO What a ride!"
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