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Forums > Social Discussion > more scared than i've ever been

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:my ex girlfriend just left me a suicide note on her livejournal and tried to take a painkiller overdose

thankfully she didn't have enough to make it effective, but she actually tried

she even tried to walk to the pharmacy where she works to get more but collapsed

...

i don't even know why i'm posting this

i guess what i'm putting up for discussion is what the *censored* do i do now?


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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The Real Fryed Fish


God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:the only thing you can do for her, be there, thats all you can do. be there if/when she is ready to talk. i know it sounds general, and not that affective, but take it from someone that has tryed to take my own life, all i wanted after the fact was someone i could talk and scream too..........its tough im not going to lie to you, but the best you can do is be there for her............you have my thoughts and prayers, if that means any thing for you, i hope it helps

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:first of all, hope she's ok and that she's recovering
is talking to her possible? about reasons, why, but just be there as a solid friend to provide comfort and reassurance if/when needed..be an ear and a pair of arms


in state of metamorphosis

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:i can't talk to her

i would get angry

i don't want to do that

i am trying to arrange for a mutual friend to be there for her instead


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:and it gets worse.

she just mixed alcohol with almost enough for an overdose.

i've just seen a good friend off in a taxi to go to hers and see if she's ok, and take her to hospital regardless.

god i'm so scared.


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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meep
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

....
Location: Midlands - nr cov

Total posts: 344
Posted:Quix...

I think it's ok to be angry. That's a horrible thing to do to someone (as someone who has been on both sides.)

It would be too early to get angry now, with her at least, but GET angry. Get angry here, or other places you have. Don't bottle it up, there are people who can help you make sense of this.

In the meantime, was it altogether unexpected? Does she have a therapist or someone? Is she willing to get one? (still a long wait - 6 months - on NHS, but you can get one privately from around 5 at counselling centres)

It's a horrible place to be in. *hopefully* as she collapsed she went to A&E, and (more hopefully, but less likely) she was assessed? Did they offer her counselling or anything?

Be gentle with you, but *do* talk about it with someone...

Lynne


"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:she's at home

DRINKING

(more angry now)

at least i've sent the cavalry over


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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meep
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

....
Location: Midlands - nr cov

Total posts: 344
Posted:It sounds to me like if you had a "bit" to do, you've done it. Now take care of you smile

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:Emm... what is the cry of help for?

I mean, what is it in her life that she's running from?

I think it'd be a good idea to either bring her to hospital where she can be monitored for tonight, or have a friend whom she feels she can rely on to sit with her until the morning, then get her the help she needs.

Much as it may feel like it Quix, it's not your responsibility, you're not to blame and you're doing the right thing by not being there, if you don't feel you can offer the support.

Take care
clare xoxo


Getting to the other side smile

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ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:My heart goes out to you quix, I hope that you and your girlfriend are gonna be ok.

Love is the law.

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:well she's ok





i'm not


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:explain everything? help?
hug


in state of metamorphosis

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:I think that she needs professinal help and that you may need to encrouage her to do that.
Please dont take it as a personal attack against yourself, as Im sure she feels that she has hit rock bottom, and had no where else to go.. rally around and support her at this time. She needs you.


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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polythene


veteran
Location: London/ Surrey

Total posts: 1359
Posted:Credit to you for being there and reacting as well as you have hug

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

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duballstar
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

duballstar

slack rating - 9.5
Location: Suburbiton, Yoo-Kay

Total posts: 2216
Posted:yeah well done for doing what you have quix, it sounds like the best option for all concerned. you haven't told us the exact context but i have a very good friend who could empathise with your position. the main thing to understand is that you are in no way reponsible or to blame for other peoples actions such as these, but it's still natural to feel responsible because you care for the person. hope things get resolved + you both get through this ok.... have a hug! hug hug2

It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Quix...you get her help. That means inpatient on a psychiatric unit at a hospital on a suicide watch.

And you accept that you may have saved a life and lost your girlfriend.

And there's nothing that I or anyone can say that will make this any easier or any less painful. It's going to hurt like hell and nothing will make it better except for that universal panacea:

Time.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:right, first off, thank you all, guys. you've been amazing. so many of my friends here and out there in the big bad world have been. love you all!

secondly, her parents and closest friends are all aware. we have all made it clear to her we expect her to get help. her history which i won't go into will make this hard but she will. it was probably just a cry for help in hindsight, but it was a terrifying one as it might have worked by accident (she didn't know how dangerous mixing alcohol and pks was)

*sigh of relief*

we're through it, though, and that's the best thing.

you can all stop fretting now, but i want to say again, thanks.


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:i dont really know what to say, but if you need to relax and give yourself some 'quix' time then i recomend this;

go out to a soft grassy area (hard concrete areas at your own risk). throw your arms out and spin in circles until you fall over.

you might think you look like an idiot but it makes you feel better (there are apparently even scientific reasons for this).


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:biggrin

Glad to hear it Quix, though I'm sure the next few months are going to be hard.

Best wishes

Xx


Getting to the other side smile

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Madam Flame
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Madam Flame

Satisfying HOPs Lust For Fire
Location: Salem, Oregon

Total posts: 308
Posted:In America there are lots of resources for depression & the families that also suffer. There's crisis hotlines you can call for someone to talk to & to get advice from or referals for other programs. Although when it truly comes down to it, only the person sufferring from the depression has the abbility to seek help for themselves, at least without getting a court order, BUT if someone has overdosed or you think they're going to harm themselves or another, CALL THE POLICE OR AMBULANCE!!!! At least in the US they'll take the person to the hospital for a 72 hour evaluation with a psychiatrist & they'll get whatever medical treatment they need while there. DON'T WAIT to call emergency help!!! You never know how serious the condition might be or how determined they are to follow through. A friend of mine who died last year could have been saved if someone had payed attention to her one phone call for help & had immediatly called emergency & not dismissed it as a ploy for attention. They found her body two days later. But speaking from the position of someone who suffers from bipolar disorder(and routine depression & a few suicide attempts) & as someone who's had relatives and close friends die that way, my best advice is to give as much love as possible and do as much as you can to help. Reserve your anger release for when you're not around her. You have every right to be angry but showing her that anger may lead to her feeling as if you have turned your back on her, or that you're not approachable even though that's not the case. She needs a soft place to land. Be there for her in whatever way that entails...if she just needs you to listen, then be there as a sounding board if she asks for advice give it too her, & make sure you let her know that you're there despite anything else that's going on. Do what you can for her & seek help for you too. If, God forbid, anything was to happen to her, at least you can look back and know that you did all that you could, because the "what if game" is where the torture lies. I will light a candle for her, you, and the families involved. I hope that she chooses to seek help, because even thoughj she may not realize it now, things CAN get better. May the Gods & Goddesses help guide you through your difficult journey. ubbangel

Never settle for normal.devil
Average thinking brings average results.

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fake teeth and glue
BRONZE Member since Aug 2003

fake teeth and glue

Checking who's online, watching you!
Location: somewhere

Total posts: 1972
Posted:i would like to say something but i don't know what to say.
well i'm glad for you that it's all over and i hope you'r all ok.


you just lost the game!!!!!! !!!!!

knowledge is power, power corupts, study hard, become evil.

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gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:hug grouphug

so glad to hear your girlfriend is in a safe place & *fingers crosses* will accept help!

i like rouge's idea! spin fast, fall over, feel better!! biggrin

whatever you do - take time out for you. get away for a day or two maybe. head for the hills or the water & just try to relax. hug *megahug*

meditate


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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telic


I don't want a title.


Total posts: 940
Posted:It is okay to be angry. I've had friends try to commit suicide. I've called emergency rooms. I've called mothers. I almost had to call campus police once. And it always made me furious. Still does, thinking about it. But the anger helps get you through the shock so you can make those calls.

E pluribus unum, baby.

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:Therapy dude, I think there's more goin on that jsut a few soft words or a good tlaking too wil sort out. She needs to understand her problems and it's most likely a profesional will be the best person to do it.

Glad you seem to be coming out on the brighter side of it now

hug


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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