Forums > Introductions > My Diary. (Feel free to comment)

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Heh. That's ok. You're quite right, there's no age limit on spinning other than "being able to use your arms".



I was thinking actually, when i die, after they've taken out the bits that still work for medical experimentation (so not the lungs or liver in other words) and after the funeral where everyone will get a served a bit of me, cooked with barbeque sauce, I might donate my skull to any enterprising Goth spinners out there. Of course they'd need another one, but what the hell, one skull-poi's better than none.



Yesterday was a slow day. Vegged about, played with the kids. Fed them. Put Rhe to bed and let Izzy play on the computer and watched Breakfast at Tiffany's again with Mo. She left to go to the pub around 10ish, and Steve turned up shortly afterwards. We played playstation for a bit and had a couple of drinks. Then, about an hour after she'd left, sober, Mojo came back pissed. Amazing really. Such a short time, but apparently she'd been downing doubles. Hehehehe. She lay on the couch and giggled uncontrollably. We (Steve and I) laughed at her. Lots.



Steve went home about 1am, he has to go to Hartlepool tomorrow as he's working on the Lib Dem campaign for the Hartlepool by-election. Mandelson's buggered off to be an EU Commissioner or something, so the seats up for vote. Cool.



Mojo went to bed soon after, i had a spliff and followed her, then read for a while before falling asleep curled up around her.



Woke up and Mo had already got the kids dressed, they'd fed themselves breakfast. Mojo had also gone home, as she has to spend to day doing washing (or something) before another week of work starts tomorrow. I may go to hers tomorrow and stay the night before returning to Falmouth. Or i may just go home tomorrow. Haven't decided yet.



It's raining. And it's cold. And i'm out of green (as soon as i finish this bifta). But i successfully did the Tooth Fairy exchange last night, swapping the smallest bit of ivory you've ever seen for a £1 coin. I know that the embargo on elephant ivory means the price has gone up, but honestly, that's just ridiculous. I used to get 20p a tooth!



So, another day inside with the girls beckons. No doubt there will be tears, and spillages, and general disarray.



Have a good one wherever and whoever you are.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Its raining here too and I have a twitch in my left leg thats driving me nuts, so today is going to be a day spent doing very little in the hope the twitch goes away. Guess its time to try and up my literati score!



Hope the fights are minimal....if not use the naughty step on them! It works everytime.



Skully



p.s. it was 10p in my day.



p.p.s. maybe you don't even need arms to poi......legs? teeth?

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Nice to see you smile Mags!

Now I'm wondering if you're actually online, because i forgot that I'm now 10 hours ahead of you! *oops* At 8.30am? Possibly not.

I'm in Australia, i don't care

And the hostel room is big enough to play with poi in (Although i managed to forget mine, but my friend was clever enough to bring hers!)

I hope your week goes well,

Lynne

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
£1 a tooth wow... thats a lot!

*trys to calculate how many teeth we loose and how much money for a set would be...* ?????

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Firstly, what's Literati?

Secondly, which bit of Aus are you in meepette? (sorry i missed you on msn)

Thirdly, I think you'll find it tots up to about £32 Pink. That is a lot considering you don't have to do anything to earn the money except keep the lost teeth. Where are parents supposed to hide them anyway?

Everything (except my growing lack of money) seems to be going ok. The only fly in the ointment is when Mojo feels the need to reiterate once again that we're not "together". I know it doesn't change anything between us, but i miss being able to think of her as my girlfriend. And i miss belonging to somebody.

Hmmm. What can ya do?

Looks like a lonely one for me tonight.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Hmmm, well, at least the two of you are spending lots of time together - which is what you wanted, eh?!

You seem to be happier (for the moment anyway), than you were a couple of weeks ago

Take care Mags

Getting to the other side

Posted: 12th Sep 2004
Literati is like scrabble. Its one of the yahoo games. I also had a game of pool and lost to a 10 year old. Hmmmmm...... ah well!

I doodled a bit as well. My scanner refuses to work, even after me being nice to it, so in the end I did kick it....... it still doesn't work The kick wasn't a complete waste of energy, it seem to stop the twitching in my leg, so thats good!

Hope you have a good evening



Skully

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Posted: 14th Sep 2004

Written by: Skulduggery

---

Pffffffffft utter rubbish! If your arms can spin 'em then you're the right age!

---

Bless your little cotton socks, you made me feel soooo much better. I'll keep swinging then.

RosieMary
----------------------------
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Posted: 14th Sep 2004
Ok. I'll be brief, as the college are trying to kick me out so that they can run IT inductions for all the little 1st years.

Sunday night, Taz came over for a bit, then left again. I played playstation for a bit then went to bed.

Got up Monday morning, fed kids, took Iz to school, then tidied Tamsyn's house til she got back aroun 3ish. Picked Izzy up from school again, kissed both her and Rheanna goodbye, then went to meet Mojo from work.

Spent the evening cuddling and watching crap tv, then went to bed. Woke up this morning (Tuesday) and saw her back to work, then managed to take 3 odd hours to make a one houre journey back to Falmouth. I sense a news story about Wessex Trains coming on. Have literally just got back, dropped my bag at home and came here to do this, answer emails etc. I'm off into town now. Might get me hair cut. Might not. Hmmm, who knows.

One thing i do know: Circus Skills Society will be running again soon, and a preliminary session will be held on the beach tonight. (Sounds very posh dunnit, basically we're all just going for a burn.:))

Be good, all of you, whereever you are, or Santa will know, and you won't get any Xmas pressies.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 14th Sep 2004
For shame Magnus! Talking about Christmas in bloody September!!!

Boo. The evil tooth fairy should come and steal all your teeth.



Have fun tonight, hope it doesn't rain... much

x

Getting to the other side

Posted: 14th Sep 2004
Hello yoo

Does the circus society do just spinny things or are you learning to do somersaults (sp?) and back flips and putting your head in the lions mouth and stuff?

Let's relight this forum

Posted: 14th Sep 2004

Written by: RosieMary

---

Written by: Skulduggery

---

Pffffffffft utter rubbish! If your arms can spin 'em then you're the right age!

---

Bless your little cotton socks, you made me feel soooo much better. I'll keep swinging then.

---

Mags Can you stop your mother praying over my laundry basket please!

I'm glad you decided to keep spinning Rosiemary. To give up once you know how to butterfly would be a shame. Besides you have to get so good that Mags starts to learn moves off you!

Have a great time spinning tonight Mags.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Posted: 15th Sep 2004
Well,that was a laugh. After going into town and buying some fags, i went to Trago Mills (the socialist department store) and bought some Paraffin. Guess how much. Go on. Guess.

!!!£2.55!!!

Phenomenal.

I then went to Hava's and picked up her djembe and lugged it all the way to my house. Tis mightily heavy, and doesn't have a bag or shoulder strap, so i had to tuck it under my arm. Sounds marvellous though.

By the time i got to the beach, Brad, Josh, Dave, Lizzie and some other people i didn't know were already there. Had a bit of a burn, then played on the djembe for a bit. Josh had his didj, and this really nice guy (who's name i've totally forgotten) played guitar. Then i nicked the guitar off him, thrashed through some cheese in a really bad way and gave it back. By this time i was bloody freezing, the sand felt like hard snow last night, so i lit up again and ponced about while Brad took silly photos.

Incidentally Clare, that double TTN looks wicked from face on. Looks like a wierd cartoon face. And has anyone noticed how the butterfly looks like an atom if you photo it from an angle? Much grooviness. I will steal his camera at some point and upload some so you all can see what we get up to down here.

Brad, Josh, Hava and I then headed back to mine for tea and smokeage. Discussed making a video of us being silly. Plans are currently on the drawing board for "Foulmouth 1", details to be announced. Then Brad juggled, and i poi'd in the very confined space of my bedroom and in a moment of Tool-inspired epiphany, I somehow started to understand exactly what Oli does to make his loops so loopy! You wrap the buggers together, then isolate like crazy! Could be wrong, but it worked a few times. Will practice more later. Could ask Oli, but i'm gonna try and work it out myself.

H & J left and Brad and I ate fish and chips and played Vice City. 46% completed, not doing too badly. Then went to bed and read for a bit. Since i finished reading One Hundred Years of Solitude, while I was at Mojo's on monday, (incidentally, if you haven't read it, do!) I borrowed a book called The Dante Club from her mum, Bev. Read the first chapter before sleep hit me. Looks good. The guy (the author) has already turned Purgatory into a verb: "he was purgatoried to the waiting room". Love it.

Woke up this morning and lay in bed with a cup of tea waiting for the postman. He didn't arrive. Shame, i'm expecting the 3rd Series of West Wing to arrive in the post from my friend Steve up in Hartlepool. Guess i'll have to get up early tomorrow too.

Right, I am now off to get my hair cut. And go to the Job Centre. And buy bread. And milk. And apples. And ask the council about busking licences. Then I'm gonna restring my guitar and have a play. At least one of my housemates returns next week, so i should probably start cleaning the house, which is still strewn with my stuff indiscriminately. Hehehe. Squalor rules.

Take it easy all. Enjoy the sun while it lasts.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 15th Sep 2004
don't forget to clear the evidence that you've been letting out their bedrooms before your house mates get back!!

So what's this djembe thing then? Is it a guitar type thingumy? Can you play The Levellers on it

And I wouldn't waste your time waiting for the postie to come, Rossco posted my socks that I left at his house to me and it took them 6 days to get to my house!!! They were suppoed to arrive before spitz but didn't although coincidentally they did arrive the same day that Ross arrived at my house so it was another 56p wasted on the queens post! schmucks.....

Let's relight this forum

Posted: 15th Sep 2004
Hello m'luvely...

Would that be this Clare you're talking about?! And would that funky move be the 5bt TTN I tried badly to explain?!! (don't want to steal anyone else's credit )

I'm glad you got it... now you have to do it in reverse no problems at all.

And definitely get your funky stuff videoed, (although, none of the computers I have access to can open any of the videos on the video thread... but hey, someone else can tell me about it )

Nice work on the cheapy paraffin and djembing. I love dancing to a drum (and maybe didj) more than anything else... especially with someone who has played for fire before.

Surely you didn't cut your hair?!! Lol, what happens if all your poi skills are trapped in there?!!

And well done on the job centre (if you made it)... seems you're not such a lazy bastard after all
xx

Getting to the other side

Posted: 16th Sep 2004
Aha. Ahahaha. Yeah. Well.

I did in fact make it to the jobcentre, but it's a crap job centre and the only woman there who could have done a job search for me had gone home. The hair is cut, and my poi skills are in my arms, not my hair. If anyone has acheived hair-poi, post me a video.

I did go to the council offices and spoke to a nice lady called Iris, who's the Town Clerk's secretary. She gave me a list of phone numbers for people who own various bits of Falmouth (I think they privatised the whole town years ago!) and an application form for a pitch on the Moor Piazza (the big bit of space by the post office where, many years ago, they used to moor boats). So there you go. I am swamped in yet more paperwork, and i have a sneaky suspicion that they won't let us use fire anyway. Ah well, can but try.

I then did something i very rarely do: I went home, ate dinner, and watched tv in my housemates room. I managed to watch for nearly an hour before i got really bored and turned it off. Played playstation instead. Then went to bed and read.

Postman didn't come this morning either. Rang Steve, who hasn't posted the dvd's yet. That'd be why then. I keep cycling through all the numbers on my phone to find people who might be in falmouth to go and talk to. Feel a bit like i'm in a little bubble and noone else can see me. Most odd. I wish my bike was working, then i'd just ride to Lanson and see Mojo.

Heh. Everyday, probably.

Still, i don't have any money to fix it, and my insurance expires at midnight tonight and i have no money for that either, so never mind. Vehicles seem a bit of a waste of time to me. They always have. Granted, i see their uses, but there is so much associated stuff to deal with that i just switch off. Eventually i'll have money again, and then I'll get it fixed.

Eventually.

Righty ho! I'm off down the docks to give handjobs for crack, hope you all have as productive a day as I will no doubt have.

Take it easy.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 16th Sep 2004
Oh yeah, and Bug, a djembe is a drum.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 17th Sep 2004
I think my inability to be by myself is probably my worst habit/inclination/whatever. I kinda shut down and don't really do much, waiting for someone to come and talk to me or keep me company.



Maybe being lonely is just part of getting older. When you're young you're surrounded by people, other kids at school, parents, siblings etc. As people age they seem to grow apart from people, and have fewer, i guess more select, friends.



I don't like it.



Anyway, so yesterday I did nothing. I left here, went home, and stayed there all day. Brad came over in the evening and we watched a movie called Love, Honour and Obey. Some Brit-Gangster flick. Looked like they did loads of improvised scenes, as the dialogue was witty, but didn't drive the plot along at all, and the whole thing ended on a bit of a wierd down note. Interesting enough though, with some pretty cool performances from the uber-hip British cast.



Woke up this morning to a phone call from my dad to say he's posted me £40. So now I can get back to see the kids next weekend. Really do need to sort out some money. Brad was talking about going to Truro to busk today, dunno whether he did or not, but the weather's pretty shitty.



I feel like going for a burn, despite the rain and wind. Might wander to the park later. Or maybe i won't.



May your day be brighter than mine is.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 17th Sep 2004
Mags being lonely is not part of getting older, it happens to some of us but it is not part of getting older. As I grew older I found that my group of friends got smaller because of changing life styles and people moving away. I just became more selective of who I call friend. And you can't "wait" from someone to come to you or you will find out that you will get lonelier than you already feel. If you don't put out the effort to seek people no one is going to put out the effort to see you.

And with that I'll just go back to my little corner of HoP. Hope your day gets better.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

Posted: 17th Sep 2004
Hey darlin, I agree with Gidg, your network of friends gets smaller as you get older, so you have to spend more time on your own. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be lonely

But you've spent most of your adult life with someone and haven't really given yourself a chance to be by yourself. It's fairly hard to do. It takes most people a while to get comfortable being by themselves and to realise they don't need others around to distract them from the person they are.

If you want other people to spend time with you, you should be happy to spend time with yourself

take care
xx

Getting to the other side

Posted: 17th Sep 2004
awww.. mags mate, this is a pretty blue thread i've stumbled into. you need one of these and one of these . if i get lonely i just hop on here + talk crap for hours, does a world of good!

It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett

Posted: 20th Sep 2004
*chuckles at duballstar*

I wasn't complaining incidentally. About being on my own I mean. It just sucks. And I thought I should mention it. I was thinking in the shower this morning though, that if there is a "Human Condition", then it must be solitude. There's the whole "You're born alone, and you die alone" cliché, and consider if you will the vast number of human beings that have been killed in the names of Gods who's sole purpose for existence is to calm man's raging sense of loneliness. We are alone inside our own heads, we are alone in our humanity, separated from the animals by our arrogance and inability to communicate. We are alone in the universe, or certainly appear to be.

How can any of us NOT feel alone?

Didn't mean to bring anyone down, just thought I'd mention it.

So Friday evening, I went round to Stevie's house (not the same as the other Steve, this one's a bedreaded hippy) and had a smoke with him. Wandered up to his friend B.A.'s house and smoked there too. B.A. had a groovy thing called D-light, has anyone come across it before? Tis very cool. Enables you to juggle a ball of light. The guy's well into his magic, sleight-of-hand, that kind of thing. Was a good laugh. Then, returned home, watched bits of the Jet Li flick (they're better when I watch them with Mo - even though having just spoken to her on the phone, I knew she was at her house watching it too ) and went to bed.

Saturday was a wierd day. Not that anything in particular happened, just that I was feeling odd all day. Like I knew something strange or bad was going to happen. The feeling hasn't gone away, incidentally, but now i think i know what it is. Anyway, Saturday: Brad and I went for a wander, planning to find somewhere to spin and practice. We stopped in to buy some Paraffin as there was a possibility of going to a party in the evening. Hava was going to ring us when she'd sorted out a lift.

After strolling through town trying to think of places to spin that weren't the beach (very windy!) we sat down on the Moor Piazza (as it is apparently called, most people just call it the Moor) and had a fag. It was fairly obvious really, that we'd just stay there and start spinning. Was good fun too, lots of people came over and spoke to us. One guy took my number because he's organising a big show next summer (I have no idea what kind, he was a mad cornish bloke, so I didn't ask) and he wants fire performers. Maybe he secretly hates fire spinners and he's gonna round us all up and kill us with nerve gas, but it'd be unlikely.

We returned to mine about 7ish to have some food. Boredom struck again. There was still no word about the party situation. I texted Dave (the*pom) to see what he was up to, and casually suggested having a burn in the middle of town, where Brad and I had been earlier. He rang to say that he'd just come off a 13 hour shift in a nursing home, and would love to come for a burn.

We rendezvous'd at 9.45pm and positioned ourselves underneath the most prominent of the CCTV cameras. We figured the police would be along pretty quick anyway, it being a saturday night and all. We had a good 4 or 5 burns before the first sign of the Rozz. A meat-wagon drove past. No one said a word. While we were standing there, a guy and a girl came over and said "How do you go about learning to be a Fire Dancer?"

I laughed and said, "You come and talk to us, and we teach you.)

The guy was a Welshman called Ty, the girl's name was Julia. Both first years, him in photography, her in Film Studies. They seemed pretty nice, and we agreed to show them a bit of Falmouth. Dave bade us farewell and departed for his bed, and we headed down through town and situated ourselves down on one of the piers by the water. Right outside a pub with lots of people drinking in and around it.

And we span like mad. The entire pub turned around en masse and leaned in our direction. One of the guys working in the pub I'd met on the beach months and months ago - he was one of the first people I met who could spin staff - so he came out and had a burn too. We had lots of people asking us about teaching, and we directed them all to contact the college Circus Skills Society. Hopefully we'll get a nice big group this year and we can buy a tightrope. That'd be fun.

Then, disaster struck! First, while putting out my staff, I swung it hard by one end to extinguish the other. The metal end of the staff, the bit with the wick bolted to it, flew off and hit someone in the leg! Luckily it had gone out in the process, but I still felt guilty as hell, and cursed the name of Firetoys to all who would listen.

I recuperated by spinning my monkey fists. Now, anyone who knows me and has seen aforementioned fists, knows that I've had them about a year, and that they've seen their fair share of flames. To be honest, bits of wick have been coming off them intermittently for a while now, but still, it was a surprise when of the heads flew straight off the end of the chain. This one had just been lit, so i had to wait for it to burn out before I could blow it out. So I broke all my best toys in one night. Huzzah. And just when I have no money at all. In a word, Bollocks.

Feeling a bit vibed out by all that, I declared my intentions to wander home, and Brad accompanied me. We smoked, played VC and fell asleep.

Sunday, woke up and wandered blearily to the toilet. Heard the TV on in Nick's room, so stuck my head round the door and saw that Brad was still there. He said "There's a cup of tea there for you" and I grinned like an idiot. Watched a bit of crap tv for a bit and had a couple of bifters, then had a shower. I tidied my room up a bit, and then he and I washed every dish in the house. Took about an hour. Cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. Except the floor, which i'll do later on today.

We decided to go for a wander, and after going to see if Stevie was in (he wasn't) we popped a few doors up to see Rosie and Ben. Josh and Karen were there too, and we got fed! Vegetarians eat the strangest things (chickpeas and mungbeans featured) but it was very tasty. We then drank brandy-coffee and got thoroughly stoned. Brad, Josh and I had an indepth conversation about isolations that resulted in 3 people spinning in a very small room. Josh headed home around 9ish, then Brad and I wandered back to mine about 10. Watched about three quarters of Arthur's Dyke on BBC 1 then nearly died of boredom so retreated to bed and read for a few hours. Woke up this morning, had tea and spliffs with Bradley, then wished him well on his trek back to Penryn and headed in here to clue you all in on what I've been up to.

Dull isn't it?

I seriously need to find a job in the next couple of days. I have a tenner. And one cheque left in the book. At this rate I won't be able to get back to Lanson this weekend to see the kids. And it's Rheanna's birthday the week after. Time to sort it out.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 20th Sep 2004
What became of the newspaper writing?!?! xxx

tHeReS gOoD aNd EvIl iN EaCh InDiViDuAl fIrE, iDeNtIfIeS nEeDs AnD fEeDs OuR dEsIrEs.

Posted: 21st Sep 2004
It's a magazine Vix, and it's been put to bed. Now we just have to wait for the funding to come in. I've been given a really cute "legally naive" commissioning form for the work I did for them. Basically, it says that I won't get paid but for being so generous, altruistic, etc. I am entitled to blag free stuff from the office. And in the future I have a job.

Anyway. Monday.

Yeah, so I left here, went into town and went to the jobcentre. Not much, bit of telesales. I should point out that my second ever job was in telesales. I hate it. It's an annoyance to 90% of the people you call, and it's one of those jobs where people think that "having a good attitude" means grinning like the cat who's got the key to the nitrous oxide cupboard. But I can do it in my sleep, and it pays £6 an hour. And I can work evenings. I have an interview at half 3.

Spent the rest of the day on my own, played a bit of PS2, had some dinner, spoke to Mojo. I should mention that she and I are now in no way together. We tried "seeing" each other (what ever that means to you) but she felt like she wasn't free to be herself, so we're relegated to friends. Say no more.

This morning I got woken by someone walking on the landing outside my room. I jumped out of bed and into some trousers, flung the door open and found the estate agent person (who controlls the house) on the stairs. (The other day on the phone I mentioned to Nick that his room is unlocked and that I've been using his TV. He didn't care about my using the room, but he was annoyed with the agency for not locking the doors again afterwards, as his contents insurance would be affected.) She had come to lock Nick's room. She also moaned at me about the state of the house. (Cleaning it properly is on my list of things to do in the next two days!) Nice wake up.

Had a shower, came in here. There is so much I need to sort out that it feels like a big pile hanging over me, and I can't begin to focus on individual bits of it. I have £7 in my pocket, and nothing coming until October 4th. And then I owe more than I'm getting. I'm getting really tired of it.

Going for a burn tonight, regular Tuesday night beach sesh. Even though I have no toys. Ah well, I'll steal Brad's.

Take it easy all.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 21st Sep 2004
Good Luck with the Job interview.... even if it isn't the most exciting job in the world. I guess nearly everyone has had to take a job they don't like at some point in their life. I currently have one.

for luck

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Posted: 21st Sep 2004
aw broked toys you have my sympathy Mags my mech staff is in to be fixed cuz it's dead

Let's relight this forum

Posted: 21st Sep 2004
No matter what job you get, you can find solace in the fact that I have a pre interview test at coughcoughSafewayscoughcough.



*cringes with embarassment*

Posted: 21st Sep 2004
Hey there lads,
First off, well done the two of youse on actually going for the job. I mean, it’s not as if the interview or the job will be a challenge, but the fact that you actually went for it and prioritised the money thing is the most important bit.

So far, I have worked in Dunnes stores for a year (in the ladies underwear section – guys, the ladies who shop in Dunnes are normally in their 60s), the Co-op for two years (on the checkouts in an attractive tent-shaped dress), a call centre for 4 months (onDigital boxes… eg “my ondigital box doesn’t work”, “ have you switched it on?”, “oh, I didn’t realise you had to”), packing blankets in a freezing cold warehouse and best of all, selling 5-star hotel lunch discount cards in Dublin to priests and nuns via cold calling (only lasted 2 months because I was fired for lack of sales).

So, well done on going for it… focus on the money and the end result of your studies… and remember, some people have to do these jobs for the rest of their lives!!!

Mags, in case I didn’t say it before, I was very sorry to hear about your staff and poi. It is a tragedy, but you have lots of friends who will let you borrow theirs, so it’s not all bad

Btw, the Cornish bloke who wanted firespinners that night may have wanted to kill you, or you may have been slightly paranoid from all the weed you were smoking just before he spoke to you.

I was in Brisbane once… wasted… and an old man came up to me and said “do you want an icecream little girl”. I nearly cried right there. Anyways…

Lol… the magazine has been put to bed, eh?! Lol, getting into the lingo already!?
Hehehe. Blagging stuff and the promise of a job is great for a student! I just handed in articles with no thanks or nuthin. Aghhhh… back in my day…

Also, does your estate agent not have to give you warning before dropping in (so you have time to put away the rolling supplies!????) Ah well, you might find some spare change when you’re doing the cleanup. And also, get the hat out tonight and go busking!

I said to you before, but sorry things didn’t work out with mo… keep your head up sunshine…

Take care
Clare xoxo

Getting to the other side

Posted: 22nd Sep 2004
Hmmm. Grim old thing life, innit?

The job interview went ok. I know i could do the job, i also know i'd be bored out of my mind in seconds. The thing is, they want full-time people only. That means 3pm til 9pm Monday to Friday, and I'd need every other friday off to see the kids, and i have lectures til 4pm on a Monday. So I guess I'll have to go round all the pubs again asking for work. Suck ass.

Spoke to Mojo again last night. I love her so much. I hope to God that we sort it out at some point, I don't think I could bear to live the rest of my life without her.

Went to the beach about 8ish. Cobbled my staff together and had a bit of a burn. Brad turned up, and then so did some Polish people who we'd kinda met on Saturday. I only remember that one of them was called Agatha, and she had some kickass fire ropes. Had lots of fun playing with them, although i discovered that arm wraps can be kinda interesting. Hava turned up, as did Josh, and we all had a big burny sesh. Brad brought a stereo, so I walked home to get CD's. We listened to: Radiohead - Hail to the Thief, Tool - Aenima, Q.O.T.S.A. - Songs for the Deaf, Sublime, Muse - Absolution, and the wonderful Gish by the Smashing Pumpkins.
Then we went to the pub. Hava departed pretty quickly, but Josh, Brad and I had a couple of swift ones and tried to juggle peanuts. Josh went home and Brad and I returned to mine to play Vice City. 80% completed now. Starting to get bored of it.
Brad left to get a taxi home aroun 3ish, and i started rereading The Beach, by Alex Garland. It's a fantastic book, and it's impact is only slightly lessened by the pretty rubbish film adaptation.

I'm off to Stevie's so we can both head to the Job Shop together. I need to get some money from the pub first or I'm totally screwed. Then I'm gonna tidy the house from top to bottom, as housemate number #1 returns tomorrow from Bristol.

Have a nice day tout le monde.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

Posted: 23rd Sep 2004
Thursday 23rd September

Yesterday, went to the job centre (nothing) and then went to try to cash a cheque at the pub. Shock horror, they didn't have enough money in the till and told me to try again today. Went home and raided my box of coppers to get enough money to buy some baccy. Went to Stevies in the evening, half watched The Wedding Singer and had a bit of a smoke. Got back to mine about 10ish, chatted to Mojo for half an hour then watched "I Spy" as my housemate has it on DVD. It's a laff innit? Nothing to strenuous for the little grey cells.

Ended up not turning the light out til around half 4, mainly as I got sucked into reading The Beach. Should have it finished by tomorrow, which is cool cos I really want Mojo to read it, so I can give it to her at the weekend. If she comes up to see me. If I can get the money to get back. God knows what'll happen if I can't. Tamsyn'll go crazy and probably start threatening to take me to court. She does that if I don't hoover the house properly.

Emotionally, I'm feeling pretty numb. I think about Mo 95% of the time, and deliberately try to make it hurt as much as possible by imagining the worst things that could happen. I don't know why, I just do. Maybe it's therapeutic, maybe i'm just going crazy, only time will tell.

She tells me every day that she loves me, so all I can do is love her until either she decides she wants to be with me again, or decides that she definitely doesn't. I really hope it's never the second one, I'd rather walk over broken glass than hear that.

Maybe i'm stupid, but that's all I know to do.

Anyway, must go continue the hosue cleaning, Esther the housemate comes back this avo. At least I won't only have the voices in my head to talk to.

Take it easy all

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988