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Forums > Social Discussion > My weekend adventure. Advice needed at the end.

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted:Hope you like a long read


So there was this AZ regional burners holiday party this last weekend. Me and my girlfriend, Claire, were gonna go up and have a ton of fun (closest to a burning man we have been to). I get news that its gonna be raining over the weekend but I was still determined to go. I get everything packed up, throw a tarp over the bed of my truck and we take off about 1am Saturday morning. It was raining a bit on the way and a couple 10 second long pour downs but we finally make it out to the campground (4 acres of land that butts up against the national forest.

I am greeted by my drunken friend and his AK and think to myself hmmmm this will be fun. Girlfriend slept the last part of the drive and didnt wake up when we got there. When we showed up, about 3:30am it was just drunken Rambo and my other friend. Rambo went to bed and we hung out for a bit, about 5 it was fun.

I woke up around 9 or so the next day, it had rained but my tarp worked well, go me. We made some really good food and I met more people that were already there. Claire went to bed again shortly after breakfast and I just hung out by the fire barrels. Pitched the tent, drank, smoked, ya know. That night we got a hold of a couple hits of vitamin A and each took one, before this I had only had a half hit and Claire none. It was fun but Claire started acting really odd. I am not sure when the acid stopped hitting her and it was just her drunkenness but she was having crazy mood swings, oblivious to her surroundings and asking a bunch of questions over and over and over. I had to baby-sit her the whole night. I was fine with it at first but then it was like Hey Poje, lets go lay there and look at the stars ya that sounds great but its cold enough to see your breath, your pants are wet and its no where near the fire. When I was able to get her near the fire she would be sitting on the wet ground and apparently unable to keep her shoes out of the hot coals. There was one point where she was standing near a burn barrel and I told her to be careful and not 5 seconds later she burnt her arm on the rim. She was insistent that she wanted to spin fire (somehow she got a hold of a fire staff earlier and was spinning it) and she didnt understand that I wouldnt allow her to, being drunk, and acting weird crazy, and not really ever using a staff much before.

I finally convinced her to sit in the truck with me so we can get warm and shes like I wanna go out there and I told her that I wasnt going to go and explained she shouldnt either because she could barely stand up on her own. She burst into tears (well I dunno if she was actually crying or just making crying noises) after she stops she leaves for a bit and comes back. Eventually she leaves again and into the tent to sleep. I told her the truck was nice and warm and I wasnt going to sleep in the tent. I slept well. Nice and toasty.

The next morning she finally wakes up and I talk to her for a little bit before she starts chugging vodka. After her first swig shes acting and talking in incoherent thought just like last night. I told her I wasnt going to deal with it again today and id love it if she would stop. I felt really bad about it too because that Sunday was her 21 birthday. She decided to keep drinking that morning anyway (luckily after she took the tent down). Loaded everything up into the truck, tied the tarp back on and we left around 1130am Sunday morning. On the ride home she was having crazy mood swings of crying then going into some random non sequitor like why are we sad when we see a stop sign. I dont know if she was being deep with these questions or what but they made no sense to me, and when I didnt respond shed start crying again. I dont know how many times I told her why I was mad and INCREDIBLY frustrated but she didnt get it. I lost count of how many times she said she hated me and all the verbal abuse. And telling me that I wasnt with her that night and I dont care about her etc.


Now me and Claire have been friends for like 6 years, a couple of those years we lost touch but its been a long time. She told me when we first started going out that I need to tell her if I dont want to be with her she didnt want to be together if it was obligatory. I dont think I want to be with her anymore after this incident. But I mean it was her 21st b-day so of course shes gonna get wasted right? I dont want to be the one that is holding her up so she doesnt fall into a fire. I dont want to be worrying because of her something to prove mentality mixed in with some invulnerable feeling she seems to have. Ive always had a problem ending a relationship that im not happy in and I know I need to talk to her before any decisions are made but what does everyone think about this? Would you just take the abuse (note that the abuse thing isnt a regular thing, first time) and hold em up because they will fall and hurt themselves? Am I wrong for getting frustrated/mad at her for not listening to what I was telling her (she cant spin fire. Shouldnt drink before we left. Etc.)?

Ah that felt good to type out.


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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:Hmmm..

I think, you shouldn't be asking our advice, but hers.

Talk to her when she's sober.

Also, tis very possible that the Acid messed with her a bit, and that would explain weird behaviour.

Drugs are bad, mmmkay. they always put a strain on any relationship.

Hope it all works out. smile


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:Sounds like the effects of the acid to me... some people don't get on so well with it and the 'effects', even if not obvious, can drag on for a few days after. Sometimes it can stir up thoughts or feelings that people find uncomfortable or disturbing too, so maybe there was more going on in her head than she's telling you. Agree with LTC, you should talk to her about it when she's sober. hug

Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted:thanks you two, I know i need to talk to her about this but what im wondering is, is it wrong of me to not want to be with her after this one incident?

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Posted:There's no need to jump to conclusions but i wouldn't just forget about this one. Sure, it could have just been the acid + alcohol. The again, it's possible that the acid/alcohol could have triggered some sort of serious underlying psychological problem. It's not wrong to not want to be with her - if she does have problems then this will be hard on her because she probably really relies on you for emotional support, but, your own safety should be your highest priority. If you do stay with her, talk to her and just be on the lookout for any signs of mental illness - they're easy to ignore in people you care about.. love is blind...

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Loewan
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Loewan

and behold!
Location: Liverpool

Total posts: 464
Posted:Yep! The golden rule is not to make life-changing decisions when you are twisted!

Why let your body be a temple? When it can be a theme park?

Wii Console Number: 3294 0297 7824 7498

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ACT
SILVER Member since Nov 2007

ACT

enthusiast
Location: I am in a world you do not wan...

Total posts: 318
Posted:*sigh* If one incident caused someone to leave me I would be crushed. Perhaps you should analyze your relationship as a whole. Maybe you were never happy with her. I cant see one incident cause to call it quits. Definitly talk to her about the whole situation. Is she on meds for anything? Depression? Meds can screw ya up when you are drinking or doing extra curicular activities. Look into that.

Love to me means you put up with the good and the bad and enjoy the middle. Take on the world leave nothing in your way! I believe Erma Bombeck says it best, Love is the ability to look at the person who have hurt you most and be able to say "I love you" and "Forgive you" and mean it!*insert more mushy stuff here*

Well thats some of my 2 cents got any change?


Don't hate me because I am different, hate me because I still think I am better then you!

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted: Written by: CthuluDoll


Perhaps you should analyze your relationship as a whole. Maybe you were never happy with her. I cant see one incident cause to call it quits. Definitly talk to her about the whole situation.



thats what im saying, its only after this one incident. and i remember with my last GF the same kinda thing happened, got too drunk had to be babysat, ruined my night. That was the last straw of that relationship.

 Written by: CthuluDoll


Is she on meds for anything? Depression? Meds can screw ya up when you are drinking or doing extra curicular activities. Look into that.



not that i know of. No.

 Written by: CthuluDoll


Love to me means you put up with the good and the bad and enjoy the middle. Take on the world leave nothing in your way! I believe Erma Bombeck says it best, Love is the ability to look at the person who have hurt you most and be able to say "I love you" and "Forgive you" and mean it!*insert more mushy stuff here*

Well thats some of my 2 cents got any change?



Dunno bout all that, all that mush i tihnk went right over my head :P. thanks Chzulu


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ACT
SILVER Member since Nov 2007

ACT

enthusiast
Location: I am in a world you do not wan...

Total posts: 318
Posted:Your welcome.... I think you'll figure it out wink

Don't hate me because I am different, hate me because I still think I am better then you!

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hamamelis
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

hamamelis

nut.
Location: Bouncing off the walls.

Total posts: 756
Posted:Hm.. definitely talk to her.. I mean I know I've done/said some pretty horrible stuff to people when I've been off my head.. it's not pleasant, and I've very grateful to anyone who puts up with it, but I guess I've always believed that the occasional bit of *^$% is just part of any relationship.. so long as it doesn't become too much.

My best friend's manic depressive, but the good times more than make up for the bad stuff.. hug


THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH!


If that's okay with you?

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Brenn
PLATINUM Member since Jun 2004

Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 3286
Posted:If you are having second thoughts about your relationship after this one incident, there's a good chance there were things you were unhappy about with the relationship prior to this incident, but not having any substantial 'proof' of it.

Recreational drugs can put a massive strain on any relationship, even if both people in a relationship agree and take it. Just as alcoholism and smoking can too. Everyone reacts differently to substances, and it may very well mean that the best chance of your relationship surviving is to minimise the usage or cut it out completely and stick to things you know will be okay.

Regardless of what you feel is right or wrong, deep down you know what would be best for you. The difficulty is rising above what social expectations and obligations that we have to 'putting up' with difficulty when you know it is too much for you to handle at this point in time.

All the best, poje hug


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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:seems more like alcohol caused the problems, it's a depressant, causes mood swings etc hug I agree with someone above me and you should have a chat with her sober, maybe she had some underlying issues on her mind or maybe she took more than you know that doesn't sound anything like 1 tab of acid to me....

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted:Thanks everyone. We talked and decided to take a break. Like i said, Sunday was her birthday and i opted not to go (lol can you blame me) so she was stuck telling all our friends why i wasnt there. I guess she got into some substance abuse conversations and she said shes gonna stop drinking and smoking. I know she can if she tries. So we will see how that goes.

I guess the reason why how she acted is SUCH a big deal to me is i cannot understand how or why you can let a substance take a hold of you like that. And im not being naive, i know they do to some people ive just never been there....did that make sence?


thanks again to everyone. ill keep you informed smile


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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin

Total posts: 3556
Posted:yeah, I've got a friend who consistently gets paranoid, thinks the cops are coming or he is going to have a heart attack...I just hate it and wonder why he keeps using if he does it every time

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:Sorry if this is gonna sound harsh... not intended to tell you off, but maybe rethink a bit.
You and countless other people take drugs (and I include alcohol and myself) to change their minds. And then go and say "oops!" if someone's mind is actually changed. To someone who doesn't drink or is keeping off the drink, it's just as annoying or maybe frightening to see "normal" reactions to drink such as flirting, aggression, boasting, silly stunts etc.
Your ex has taken a drug she's never tried before, and not at a minimum dose to see how she'd react, either - and, yay!, together with alcohol (which is always a good idea to throw in the mix when you don't know how you'll react), and then tried to spin fire which scared you. From reading posts on here, that's not too abnormal, many people first spin under the influence of something or other (not that I'm saying it's good).
Personally I think that in taking her there and letting her use the drugs you've taken enough responsibility that you can't just jump back 5 steps and say "oh, I don't know what's up with the girl!" - Good luck at getting things sorted, but next time think before you do something that'll get you scared and someone you care about into possible trouble smile
http://www.drugs.com/LSD/index.html


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted:Oh i totally agree that some of the responsibility was mine (if it wasnt i wouldnt have put up with ANY of it that night) but when she is continuing to chug the whiskey after i asked her to stop and then TOLD her she really SHOULD stop thats her decision no matter how out of it she is.


thanks for the link


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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted: Written by: Poje



I guess the reason why how she acted is SUCH a big deal to me is i cannot understand how or why you can let a substance take a hold of you like that. And im not being naive, i know they do to some people ive just never been there....did that make sence?




See, that's the thing with drugs, we all hear the scare stories about overdosing, bad trips, the possible impact on mental health etc etc but until you've actually been there and seen it happen close-up it's really easy to dismiss it as hype and anti-drug propaganda. I get really frustrated about this sometimes, when people don't respect how powerful some substances are and the less pleasant effects they can have.

I've had friends in the past who have had such lovely experiences themselves on acid that they don't believe it's even possible to have a bad trip unless you're already mentally unhinged - this just isn't true, and it's pretty unpleasant having to sit up with someone who's in their own personal nightmare of a trip.

Same with other drugs too - I've met a massive number of people who take loads of pills, maybe 5 - 10 in a night, who just don't seem to grasp that it is possible for them to push it too hard, overdose and maybe die... I used to think the chances were really slim, that it only happened if the pills were 'dirty' and contaminated or if you drank too much/too little water. Once you've carried a friend to A&E because they're having a fit, convulsing and passing out, after doing exactly the same drugs as you have, you certainly get a different insight.

I don't mean to preach, hell I'm not even 'anti-drugs', we all own our own bodies and minds and I've taken quite a lot of drugs in the past and enjoyed it. I've just seen a lot of the negative experiences from most drugs too and it bothers me when people deny they exist, or think it will never happen to them.


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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