Forums > Social Chat > (Rant) Being asked "Are you gay?"
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UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
Right....
Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.
Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.
I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.
But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?
I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.
So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE
IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?
Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.
Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.
Right....
Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.
Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.
I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.
But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?
I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.
So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE
IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.
Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
SILVER Member
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
Posted:
Claire's rant time...
One of the regulars came into work today, looked me up and down, then proceeded to turn to one of the guys I work with and asked "what's with the coloured hair thing? Do you have lots of dykes working here?"
Now, out of all the people I work with, only two of us have coloured hair. So it could only be directed at me and my friend Katie. I have blue and pink streaks through my hair, Katie has short hair with half blue, half red/orange. Clearly, this MUST make us lesbians.
If I followed similar reasoning, then the fact the this guys wears pink thongs clearly makes him gay. Beacause no straight guy would be caught dead wearing pink, just as no straight girl would be caught dead with coloured hair.
My question is, What kind of narrow minded idiots feel the need to make this type of comment?
(Just for the record, we're both straight!)
Ok, rant over.
Claire's rant time...
One of the regulars came into work today, looked me up and down, then proceeded to turn to one of the guys I work with and asked "what's with the coloured hair thing? Do you have lots of dykes working here?"
Now, out of all the people I work with, only two of us have coloured hair. So it could only be directed at me and my friend Katie. I have blue and pink streaks through my hair, Katie has short hair with half blue, half red/orange. Clearly, this MUST make us lesbians.
If I followed similar reasoning, then the fact the this guys wears pink thongs clearly makes him gay. Beacause no straight guy would be caught dead wearing pink, just as no straight girl would be caught dead with coloured hair.
My question is, What kind of narrow minded idiots feel the need to make this type of comment?
(Just for the record, we're both straight!)
Ok, rant over.
Nutella Brigade Unite!
"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge
Owned By Steaks
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
Written by: colemanWritten by: Doc Lightning
Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um...
man, that smiley made me do a double take!
cole. x
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
GOLD Member
ZORT!
3,045 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
ZORT!
3,045 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
well.... i suppose it depends what type of pink thong we are talking about...
Written by: clarence_quack
the fact the this guys wears pink thongs clearly makes him gay.
well.... i suppose it depends what type of pink thong we are talking about...
"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
*Smacks own head*
Aussies! She talking about sandles!
Was wondering about that...
*Smacks own head*
Aussies! She talking about sandles!
Was wondering about that...
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
A little bit of a board whore
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
Posted:
Oh right. Flip flops. I was just about to mention how no gay man in their right mind would be caught dead in a pink g-strig
Oh right. Flip flops. I was just about to mention how no gay man in their right mind would be caught dead in a pink g-strig
Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"
A little bit of a board whore
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
147 posts
Location: Glasgow
Posted:
Also, to NeonShaolin, a lot of gay men don't like being thought of as straight. And, can we not use the word "mate" I think the word you're looking for is partner. Last I knew, mate usually means breeding, and gays are to goo at that sort of thing. It's not the issue itself I have problems with. It's the words being used to describe to.
Some people seem to be quite happy to use the word "I was accused of being gay once". Accused to me, and to a lot of other people, suggests something wrong.
Also, to NeonShaolin, a lot of gay men don't like being thought of as straight. And, can we not use the word "mate" I think the word you're looking for is partner. Last I knew, mate usually means breeding, and gays are to goo at that sort of thing. It's not the issue itself I have problems with. It's the words being used to describe to.
Some people seem to be quite happy to use the word "I was accused of being gay once". Accused to me, and to a lot of other people, suggests something wrong.
Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"
SILVER Member
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia
Posted:
Didn't even cross my mind that it could be interpreted that way...
Note to self: colloquialism= BAD!
Written by: Domino
*Smacks own head*
Aussies! She talking about sandles!
Was wondering about that...
Didn't even cross my mind that it could be interpreted that way...Note to self: colloquialism= BAD!
Nutella Brigade Unite!
"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge
Owned By Steaks
enthusiast
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Posted:
I've got to say, I'm sick of people asking if I'm gay...
I am gay, but hell, what's that got to do with it? I don't assume people are gay or straight, I wait for it to become apparent.. If that's after I've made a fool of myself, so be it..
At least I gave it a shot, right?
I've got to say, I'm sick of people asking if I'm gay...
I am gay, but hell, what's that got to do with it? I don't assume people are gay or straight, I wait for it to become apparent.. If that's after I've made a fool of myself, so be it..
At least I gave it a shot, right?
"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman
Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.
SILVER Member
water based
5,125 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
water based
5,125 posts
Location: melbourne, Australia
Posted:
i think its entertaining. someone asked me the other day, so i reply 'no, why? are you?' then sat a little closer to them... they left.
i think its entertaining. someone asked me the other day, so i reply 'no, why? are you?' then sat a little closer to them... they left.
"you know there are no trophys for doing silly things in real life yeah pete?" said ant "you wont get a 'listened to ride of the valkyries all the way to vietnam' trophy"
*proud owner of the very cute fire_spinning_angel, birgit and neon shaolin*
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Posted:
Its all Oscar Wilde and Fred Astaire's fault
Its all Oscar Wilde and Fred Astaire's fault
Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat
'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?
GOLD Member
HOP's glowstick ambassador!!
128 posts
Location: Bay Area, California, USA
HOP's glowstick ambassador!!
128 posts
Location: Bay Area, California, USA
Posted:
Ugh, this thread is the story of my life. People assume Im gay because I like dancing, acting and singing.......mainly because I was the only guy in almost every dance class, acting workshop, or choir I've ever been in.
Great way of meeting nice girls actually.........but yeah it does get a pretty damn annoying after a while.
Ugh, this thread is the story of my life. People assume Im gay because I like dancing, acting and singing.......mainly because I was the only guy in almost every dance class, acting workshop, or choir I've ever been in.
Great way of meeting nice girls actually.........but yeah it does get a pretty damn annoying after a while.
missegyptology: "I just remember beingall off balance and unicycling really fast down to campus and the arabic was all blurred on the page"
^When Linz pulls an all nighter before Arabic class^
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Dammit Lumiere... Such a pretty boy too...
It gets pretty annoying people assuming you're str8 as well...
Pet peeve is when people say 'such a waste' when they find that someone whom they deem attractive is gay/lesbian. A waste of what?!
Dammit Lumiere... Such a pretty boy too...
It gets pretty annoying people assuming you're str8 as well...
Pet peeve is when people say 'such a waste' when they find that someone whom they deem attractive is gay/lesbian. A waste of what?!
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Neh. Petey, you're too cute to be gay.
Written by: pineapple pete
i think its entertaining. someone asked me the other day, so i reply 'no, why? are you?' then sat a little closer to them... they left.
Neh. Petey, you're too cute to be gay.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Does this mean I'm an ugly [censored]?
Written by: Doc Lightning
Neh. Petey, you're too cute to be gay.
Does this mean I'm an ugly [censored]?
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
Toe Poking Bad Boy
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
Posted:
im from cumbria!
no argument!
Written by: Neon Shaolin
Mmmmmm Cumbrian sausage....
And gravy...
im from cumbria!
no argument!
Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
I was supposed to be getting a lift to a rave the other weekend, i ended up in diss (norfolk UK) with a bunch of 17-18 year olds in a nice old farm house. we ended up getting VERY drunk............................a few days later the girl that invited me asked if i was gay
after much discussion i figured out the reason she thought this was because i didn't hit on her (try to get in her knickers)
i'm sorry but it's not something i aim to do when i barely know someone
and being 17/18 i'm like 7 years older...........that and her mum was at home and i had to lie i was only 20
I was supposed to be getting a lift to a rave the other weekend, i ended up in diss (norfolk UK) with a bunch of 17-18 year olds in a nice old farm house. we ended up getting VERY drunk............................a few days later the girl that invited me asked if i was gay
after much discussion i figured out the reason she thought this was because i didn't hit on her (try to get in her knickers)
i'm sorry but it's not something i aim to do when i barely know someone
and being 17/18 i'm like 7 years older...........that and her mum was at home and i had to lie i was only 20 Toe Poking Bad Boy
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
Posted:
partying with the young'uns
asked if i was gay a few times by a few lasses cos i 'had to taste in styles'
yeah right! so that makes me gay?
partying with the young'unsasked if i was gay a few times by a few lasses cos i 'had to taste in styles'
yeah right! so that makes me gay?
Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
tell me about it nod................so i'm gay because i don't try to pull some girl i just met even though she's still in 6th form
tell me about it nod................so i'm gay because i don't try to pull some girl i just met even though she's still in 6th form
Toe Poking Bad Boy
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
2,865 posts
Location: Lake District UK
Posted:
ok 6th form is like year below for me but i know what you mean year 11's are like 'ooo i want you' but its like sorry lass your a bit too young for me
ok 6th form is like year below for me but i know what you mean year 11's are like 'ooo i want you' but its like sorry lass your a bit too young for me
Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!
SILVER Member
I make my own people.
607 posts
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, USA
I make my own people.
607 posts
Location: Nashville, Tennessee, USA
member
44 posts
Location: cumbria ENGLANG
44 posts
Location: cumbria ENGLANG
Posted:
are you having a fu.c king laugh noddy how can you tell lies to people someone who is 16 is to young for you????
not less than 6 months ago you were hiting on a 14 year old girl not only that you were trying to justify to me why it was ok for you to go out with someone who is 14!!!!
and what about glasto??? 15y ring any bells get a life
and start telling the truth!!!!!
Written by: Noddy
ok 6th form is like year below for me but i know what you mean year 11's are like 'ooo i want you' but its like sorry lass your a bit too young for me
are you having a fu.c king laugh noddy how can you tell lies to people someone who is 16 is to young for you????
not less than 6 months ago you were hiting on a 14 year old girl not only that you were trying to justify to me why it was ok for you to go out with someone who is 14!!!!
and what about glasto??? 15y ring any bells get a life
and start telling the truth!!!!!
the end is nigh and now comence the time of the retarded badger
SILVER Member
lurker
380 posts
Location: Nashville, TN, USA
lurker
380 posts
Location: Nashville, TN, USA
Posted:
yeah. i've been asked this a few times jokingly (i think), and have been told by nearly every close female friend that even if i claim not to be gay, i'm certainly not straight. lol. and yeah, i think it's 100% about aggressiveness vs. naievity. i've seriously told girls "i'm enjoying kissing you, but don't think i want to date you or even sleep with you tonight -- it's just the easiest way to convince girls that i like them alot as a person and I'm not gay... that and it's fun." the ones i've not made out with even though i thought they needed it emotionally, things have always gone bad/weird with. if a girl asks you if you're gay tho, and it's not in front of a crowd of people for them to laugh at, it's probably a passive-aggressive pick-up line on her part. just take one for the team and make out with her.
yeah. i've been asked this a few times jokingly (i think), and have been told by nearly every close female friend that even if i claim not to be gay, i'm certainly not straight. lol. and yeah, i think it's 100% about aggressiveness vs. naievity. i've seriously told girls "i'm enjoying kissing you, but don't think i want to date you or even sleep with you tonight -- it's just the easiest way to convince girls that i like them alot as a person and I'm not gay... that and it's fun." the ones i've not made out with even though i thought they needed it emotionally, things have always gone bad/weird with. if a girl asks you if you're gay tho, and it's not in front of a crowd of people for them to laugh at, it's probably a passive-aggressive pick-up line on her part. just take one for the team and make out with her.
BRONZE Member
Born on a green light daddy-o!!!
126 posts
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Born on a green light daddy-o!!!
126 posts
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Posted:
Just wanted to jump on the band wagon lol, I think it is very rude to ask people their sexuality preferences, honestly does it matter enough to ask someone... You have to be pretty self absorbed too after being turned down to ask someone if their gay...
...**steps down from soapbox and passes the mic** thanks for letting me join the rant
Just wanted to jump on the band wagon lol, I think it is very rude to ask people their sexuality preferences, honestly does it matter enough to ask someone... You have to be pretty self absorbed too after being turned down to ask someone if their gay...
...**steps down from soapbox and passes the mic** thanks for letting me join the rant When you're already walking on thin ice...why not dance?
Forget puppy power, Scrappy's just gay
632 posts
Location: Southampton Uni
632 posts
Location: Southampton Uni
Posted:
People just assume I'm straight. Anyone wanna swap?
People just assume I'm straight. Anyone wanna swap?
Spin, bounce, be one with the world, because it is yours to enjoy...
resident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posted:
Depends why they're asking... if they want to know whether they have a chance it's flattering!
Written by: alicewonderland
Just wanted to jump on the band wagon lol, I think it is very rude to ask people their sexuality preferences, honestly does it matter enough to ask someone... You have to be pretty self absorbed too after being turned down to ask someone if their gay...
Depends why they're asking... if they want to know whether they have a chance it's flattering!
everyone's unique except me
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
Its hardly rude to enquire about sexual preference. Its like asking what your shoe size is.
Seriously though, its not that rude. Its like Nephtys says... unless of course some says \"wanna go out?\" \"No\" \"Are you gay!?\"... I guess then its rude. Otherwise I reckon its fair game.
Its hardly rude to enquire about sexual preference. Its like asking what your shoe size is.
Seriously though, its not that rude. Its like Nephtys says... unless of course some says \"wanna go out?\" \"No\" \"Are you gay!?\"... I guess then its rude. Otherwise I reckon its fair game.
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
BRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
I agree. A genuine request abnout your orientation means that the people asking are genuinely interested in who you are and want to learn more.
Although, I must admit, most sexual orientation questions I've overhard tend to be derogatory, in the same way as askign someone if they are stupid, or braindamaged...
I agree. A genuine request abnout your orientation means that the people asking are genuinely interested in who you are and want to learn more.
Although, I must admit, most sexual orientation questions I've overhard tend to be derogatory, in the same way as askign someone if they are stupid, or braindamaged...
HoP Posting Guidelines
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GOLD Member
wandering dingo
167 posts
Location: Aussie in London, Australia
wandering dingo
167 posts
Location: Aussie in London, Australia
Posted:
hmmm, back to the original rant, maybe she thought you were gay because you didn't hit on her.
hmmm, back to the original rant, maybe she thought you were gay because you didn't hit on her.
Only three things are certain: Death, Taxes, and that England will not win back the Ashes in this lifetime.
enthusiast
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Posted:
Even genuine questions about my orientation become boring after a while.. Because if you are going to ask someone about their hair/eye colour, you don't get asked really personal questions about your sex/family life, which tends to happen when talking about sexuality.
I don't mind discussing my personal life with the people that have earned the honour of that level of respect and trust, but people seem to expect it will be given to them.
My friends will tell ya, I'll say just about anything.. Just GET TO KNOW ME FIRST!!!
*end rant*
Written by: Charles
I agree. A genuine request about your orientation means that the people asking are genuinely interested in who you are and want to learn more.
Even genuine questions about my orientation become boring after a while.. Because if you are going to ask someone about their hair/eye colour, you don't get asked really personal questions about your sex/family life, which tends to happen when talking about sexuality.
I don't mind discussing my personal life with the people that have earned the honour of that level of respect and trust, but people seem to expect it will be given to them.
My friends will tell ya, I'll say just about anything.. Just GET TO KNOW ME FIRST!!!
*end rant*
"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman
Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'm both gay and stupid... do I win a prize?
But like, I seem to come across as straight, and I only get annoyed if somone asks if I'm gay at myself for not being obvious enough. Although, I tell you what does bug me, is when people find out your gay, and then follow it up with "can I be ur friend?? I've never had a gay friend before!!". Suddenly I become a fashion accesorie (my spelling is all wrong today) AND THAT TICKS ME OFF!!! GRRRR! RAR! BLA!
*breathe*
Ah, anyone else get that or is it just me who suffers with that problem?
Oh and I really dont get offended if someone asks if I'm "a gay"... I'm proud of who I am
Written by: Charles
Although, I must admit, most sexual orientation questions I've overhard tend to be derogatory, in the same way as askign someone if they are stupid, or braindamaged...
I'm both gay and stupid... do I win a prize?
But like, I seem to come across as straight, and I only get annoyed if somone asks if I'm gay at myself for not being obvious enough. Although, I tell you what does bug me, is when people find out your gay, and then follow it up with "can I be ur friend?? I've never had a gay friend before!!". Suddenly I become a fashion accesorie (my spelling is all wrong today) AND THAT TICKS ME OFF!!! GRRRR! RAR! BLA!
*breathe*
Ah, anyone else get that or is it just me who suffers with that problem?
Oh and I really dont get offended if someone asks if I'm "a gay"... I'm proud of who I am
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