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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:After twelve hours hard struggling with death my mother died three hours ago. We, her whole familiy were there with her. I never saw something like that saw somebody so holding on life and fight but its over now. I know it is good she is not suffering anymore but I'm scared of the grief which is waiting for me.

All my thoughts are with her and there is so much love for her and I'm happy I could tell her that before.


What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth

Total posts: 5814
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

Thinking of you ...take care


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX

Total posts: 2014
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

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ben-ja-men
GOLD Member since Jun 2003

ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 2474
Posted:hug

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:hug hug hug hug

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh

Total posts: 4145
Posted:hug hug hug

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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ASTRO FAERIE
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

ASTRO FAERIE

ummmmmmm.............
Location: Rotherham, UK

Total posts: 724
Posted:Im sorry for your loss. But try not to think too much about how to deal with your grief, just do what feels right for you, it sounds like you have a lot of love to give and you have a lot of support, i hope that you and your family can give each other as much comfort as you all need at this sad time.
There are always people on here that are here as a good sounding board, even if its just to have a cry or talk about your mom.
p.s. she'll always be with you making sure you are ok xxxx
All my love and best wishes. hug angel


Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and the last fish has been caught
will we realise that we
cannot eat money.

Cree Indian, 1909

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I'm so sorry for your loss Hun.

Don't worry about the grief. It comes in its own time and it is different for each person. You'll find you go through many different emotions such as relief, anger, fear, sadness , joy (yes even joy, the joy of all the good memories and the joy of still being able to feel her love). My only advice to you is let out whatever emotion you have. Don't bottle it up. It is not wrong to be mad or happy or sad...... whatever you feel. It's your bodies way of coming to terms with the loss.

I'm glad you got to tell her that you love her hug

Remember there are people out here that a ready and willing to listen if you need to talk hug


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:thanks....hug

we all new it for almost a year now but in the end you cant be prepared...I sit here at home now after we brought my dad home, he wants to be alone for a while... I have these terrible pictures in my head her eyes her scared white face she was just skin and bones, the rattling sound of her breathing...she was so hard struggling... I try so hard to remember how she looked and was before she got ill...


What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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PK_
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

PK_

Lambretta Fanatic


Total posts: 4991
Posted:hug

PK.

"To be an angel, one need not have wings.
In giving love there is an equal grace.
Nor need one seek the aura in the face,
As love unveils the beauty of all things."

*Francois Couperin.

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:Hun you will remember her as she was. The images you have now will fade and the old images of her will come flooding back. I felt exactly the way you are when my Dad died. I was worried the only image I would have of him would be the one of me finding him dead. Now I have all the wonderful images back and the last not so nice image has faded into the background. hug Just give it some time hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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Bird
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Bird

now available in "advanced"
Location: Cornwall

Total posts: 6086
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug

My state of mind is not yours to define!

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:oh sweetheart.
As somene who recently lost someone close from the family also I can only but imagine your pain.
when you feel the grief hitting, you let your self do what ever you need to do to express yourself. We are all here for you, and what astrofairy said was right, your mum will always be around to help look after you.
If you need to talk feel free to pm

Im so sorry to hear this news. hug


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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_So_
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Skinny poi maker
Location: Moscow, Russia

Total posts: 313
Posted:Our thoughts are with you... hug hug hug

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:I'm 29 years old and I miss my mom I want my mom... no way back she is gone I will never see her again...........

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:Hun, your mum is part of what made you. She is always with you. Go and look in a mirror and she is there. She is there inside you! hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:yeah I know when I see in the miror I see her I see so much of her but I want to talk to her I want to be with her I want ... I dont k now I just want her here... I know it will be better but I miss her so much....

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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Helen_of_Poi
SILVER Member since Apr 2004

Helen_of_Poi

lapsed spinner
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Total posts: 412
Posted:hug

Those awful memories will fade with time, believe me. i lost my mother just over a year ago, following a 15 year battle against cancer. At first i was haunted by her last hours constantly, and i was afraid that i might lose sight of the person that she was. Now although i still get flashbacks to that time, i only remember her as she was. As a normal person, in everyday life. I still feel lost without her, but i also feel her close to me at times.

Grief is different for everyone. Try not to second guess what you are feeling, or what you think you should be feeling.

i'm thinking of you.

hug


Helen_of_Poi

EJC Ireland 2006 Organisational Team

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Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hughug hug

thinking of you, if you need to talk i'm always here.... hug xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

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gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:grouphug

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:hug hug2

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Sakura_Moon


Sakura_Moon

Hop's Kitten Jester.
Location: Wonderland igloo, Vic, Austral...

Total posts: 1803
Posted:hug x 1 million.
I'm so sorry this happened. Dont be afraid of the grief, it has to come in order for you to heal. There are many stages of grief and some are easier than others. If you need to talk to someone, do so. I'm never any good at giving advice to people, but i'll try. If you would like to talk, ever, just pm me or someone else here because we all care for you. When it is hard for you, think about your mum - she would want to help you, she'll be watching over you.
My thoughts are with you


.:Pink Exocutioner:.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct...

Loving you from the deepest part of my loins.


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TheRenolution


TheRenolution

member
Location: Victoria

Total posts: 39
Posted:hug hug hug
Thoughts are with you man.
Always remember part of her is always with you, and that the good times u had will always out live the bad.
Keep on rockin in the free world.
Rock on, Peace out - Ren


"When a man lies he murders some part of the world
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives
All this i cannot bear to witness any longer
Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home"
- Cliff Burton: "To Live Is To Die" -

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:So sorry to hear this frown



Some very wise words on this thread. There's not much more for me to add apart from to say that a mother-daughter relationship, through good or bad, is one of the strongest which can ever be. This is why she'll always remain with you: nothing can ever change that.



Thinking of you hug


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:I'm sorry frown hug hug hug hug hug hug hug
all my well wishes are with you.


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Bubbles_
SILVER Member since Nov 2004

Bubbles_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: mancunian

Total posts: 3383
Posted:hug

Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.

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Seraphire


Seraphire

HoP's Original Smelly-Hippie-Scum-Bag
Location: Under your stairs

Total posts: 270
Posted:hug hug hug

You have my condolences. Stay strong, you've got support from everyone here.


Music gives Soul to the Universe, Wings to the Mind, Flight to the Imagination and Life to Everything.

Educate yourself in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE! hug

dsei.org Stop The Arms Trade!

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babajaga
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

babajaga

old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:so two days after I'm still kind of sad... but I never experienced our family so close... life is something special really worth to live and to enjoy as intense as possible... and everybody every single human being should know how special they are how much worth they are





I love you all thanks


What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Baba,

First: hug I am so sorry.

I've been through this. And yet I don't have much advice for you. We all have our own experience with death.

The day my father died he visited me. It was in the afternoon and he'd been dead for about 6 hours at the time. I had just returned to my home in Ann Arbor to clean my room (since that's apparently what you're supposed to do when someone dies...everyone suddenly goes on a cleaning spree...it's just one of those things). When I sat down, I felt someone staring at the back of my head. And I turned around and there, I saw him clearly with my Third Eye, was my father.

He was dressed in a full dress Navy uniform and he was in his early 20's. He was healthy, young, and strong. And he was GRINNING at me. His smile spoke of supreme relief, it spoke of a burden lifted, it spoke of a deep love for me, and it spoke of immense gratitude for having let him go (we withdrew support). And in that smile (which I have never seen a living person wear), seemed to say "take care...and don't worry...we'll meet again." And then he was gone.

Since that day, I never mourned him again. I've cried over the loss, but I can't be sad for him. He's fine. He's great! And he didn't seem concerned, so my guess is I'll see him again.

Baba, my advice to you is this: be on the lookout for signs. A good friend of mine randomly found an old picture of her dog she'd had as a kid after her father died. He must have found her (the dog) and was just letting her know.

Be watching. The dead are subtle.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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