• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 100.00 credit to your HoP account.
 

Forums > Social Chat > Really esoteric meanderings on life and it's changes

Login/Join to Participate

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Okay, this is going to be kind of strange. might take me a try or two to really get the wording right. Have you ever found a particular day in your life where everything changed? I mean, not just changed, but redirected completly...

hmm, let me explain. as such, our life tends to follow a path of some sort, imo. it might twist, turn or otherwise be weird. it can intersect with others, run parralel, whatever. but the point is, it all makes a kind of a sense. there's links to changes, or changes happen over time. in general, eveyrthing makes somekind of bizarre sense from some standpoint or else it doesn't change the total path of your life that much, am i making any sense?

but, sometimes your life doens't change gradually or things don't follow, at least the way your life was. And in one day everything changes. everything. or perhaps, not everything. but your life makes such a drastic turn it relaly doens't resemble the life that was yours.

can anyone else remember a specific day when your life just changed so completly? i mean, meybe there were otehr aftereffects that happenened, or you didn't realize until later what had happned. mebbe you knew right then and there, it wasn't even just a day but rather a specific moment.

i just wanted to know if this was really normal- such sudden and odd redirection. i kind of think that whatever greater good it does or doesn't have such sudden redirection places a lot of stress and pain on the spirit, no matter how good it might be. God i'm getting esoteric.

It just occurs to me, i can remember three days in my life that changed it so completly that it no longer resembled my life at all. my past carried over, but my present was unrelated- the effect didn't match the cause quite right anymore.
in two cases it was some kind of outside trauma that caused the change, one for the bad and one (recently) for the good. neither time did i realize teh significance of what was goin on. the other time i caused the chaneg, so it followed a little more, but the chaneg was so drastic that i havn't really picked up from it yet.

anyway, i hope i'm making some kind of sense, and i'd love to have your thoughts in this!


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete Topic

dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:Hello Kyrian,

Yes, these things do happen... four years ago i almost joined the air force academy... after careful consideration I realized it just wasnt my cup of tea.

This left me with:

What now?

My life totally changed the day I made that desision. (sp?)

Then I continued on through life wondering and one day thought: 'yeah psychology I am interested in that, i'll do that at university...
Kept this train of thoughts up for a while until I went to Brazil...
I thought a lot on that journey (the point of the whole thing really) and then one day my life suddenly changed. I decided to fuck that and do something that I am nuts about and really enjoy: audio.

So five months and a short course later, my life has completely flipped over because of a descision I made one day in my life... That descision will change my life forever... It will change the type of people I will encounter, the type of work I will do, where I will be, etc...

I can think of millions of nights my life changed forever... Where I can say I as a person changed. Which in turn affected everything I did from that point forwards.

I like change! It makes me feel like I am moving forwards. If I ever chilled in one place doing the same thing I would probably get the hell out of there as soon as I could...

Dont worry if your life changes course... There is probably a reason behind it all... Dont even try to make sence of the reason because you'll probably drive yourself nuts! You should just go with what is given and see how far it will take you... Life changes sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse, you just have to keep at it and not get freaked if the change is drastic... Go with it and see where it takes you...

I hope I was of help
Much love, drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

Delete

Glåss
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:hey drome
great post.
I've just got to place that I used to call a crossroads. But, this one has no paths, the route onwards goes in any direction.

Ohh and sorry I was having a quiet on on saturday:)

keep smiling
Glass


Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:true words drome. and change in and of itself usually comes far more rapdily then one would like, or perhaps not soon enough (i've often been on that side of the spectrum myself.)

ok, i had to delete that whole paragraph. it wasn't making enough sense and was delving too far into stuff... now, i guess what i wanted to say was that some "drastic changes" don't seem so drastic to me... because in some way they still fit the previous pattern, even if it changes a lot of things.

Like, say i were to suddenly decide to move to Thailand for the year. That's a fairly big change, but it wouldn't be completly and totally changing the way my life was. I mean, it would, in a sense. But it would still make some sort of sense with the prevoious life. I'm not making any sense!!!!!!! ahhh, if anyone knows what i'm saying do you want to help me out here?


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

Cage


member
Location: St. Paul, MN USA

Total posts: 174
Posted:I don't know if I can answer your question or even how well I understand your thoughts but I think that yesterday was one of those redirections for me.

Here's a very short summary:
My boyfriend lives 2200 miles away. When he moves back to this town next month, I am planning on moving 600 miles away (not on purpose, but for school). Thus far, I have gone down wrong paths for him, I've put my life on hold for him, I've taken crappy jobs & my debt has sky rocketed, he's moved all over the country in the past 3 years while I've waited here. We are very close and are the best of friends. I thought that we would be getting engaged this summer. If that was the case, I was going to scrap this school thing for awhile so we could be together. Anyway, he broke up with me last night. That pretty much means my last 3 years have been for naught. I can't explain even how I feel. I think that I should start over, but finances are such that it would be practically impossible. I was going to go to school for something that I could get decent hours and alright pay but just so that it would work out for the 2 of us. Well, now there is only one of us. Now my heart is telling me to screw all that materialistic shit and do something I truely love.

Okay, sorry for the sob story. It's just that when I read your post, I felt like I was kinda at the same place. Now, I don't know your situation, heck, I don't even know you so I can't really compare. It's just that my life has taken a very sudden and unexpected twist. I don't think that it is "normal". Not everyone's life up and changes over night. But I do think that it happens. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. If you believe in fate and destiny (and sometimes karma), as I do, then things will be alright. I believe that things happen for a reason and that there is nothing you can do to change that. You can however make the best out of it. As with my situation, I'm hoping I can get my pilot's licence with nothing to hold me back (well, after I find some finances ). But I do agree that it puts a tremendous amount of stress and pain on the spirit. My friend was trying to teach me about shakras. I don't know if you are familiar with them but my heart shakra, or energy, is going crazy. It hurts and I'm not sure how to heal it. I just keep thinking that this pain is temporary and that somewhere down the road, it will have been for the best.

That's just my two cents.

Hope things can work out to be a positive redirection for you. If you're still having a hard time, a nice cold Coca-Cola and nachos & cheese always make me feel better. Okay, so I have a wierd way cheering up, so sue me.

peace & luv,
Cage


Without further guilding the lily and with no more ado, I bid you farewell and sweet dreams...

Delete

Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Cage, sorry to hear your tale. One thing I don't agree with is "That pretty much means my last 3 years have been for naught." I've heard this from exs and it hurts. Nothing's ever for nothing. At the time it was right, it was worth it, and you'll always have that time. It's helped evolve you to who you are today. Let your spirit lead you, follow your desires and find balance within the change.

glass, good luck with your meanderings through the field of life. If you ever need help pitching a tent you know where we are.


Delete

Dio


Dio

HoP Mechanical Engineer
Location: OK, USA

Total posts: 729
Posted:I've experienced that every time I change my major at school... hehe.

Sorry to hear your tale Cage, I was recently burned myself by a S.O. and I do agree, it causes your life to really turn itself topsy-turvy for a while before the dust settles and you get back on the proverbial horse that is life. But hey, keep in mind you have a HUGE international brother/sisterhood of fire spinners who call you "friend" and are there for ya

My personal most life-altering experience? I used to be quite chubby (5'7", 240lbs... not sure what the SI units are but you guys can do the math if you really care hehe) and ended up losing over 80lbs - I got much more confident, assertive, and gained a lot of self-respect. Also greatly enhanced my social life, I'm happy and sorry to say. Led to me joining martial arts (for fitness and for fun), which in turn led me to discovering Fire Dancing.

So here I am today, no longer the shy quiet kid everyone overlooked... now I'm the outgoing psycho who likes to risk life and limb spinning fiery balls of DEATH for entertainment. OK so yeah, a little embellishment on that one, but it's what the audience thinks


What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.

Delete

Glåss
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:Cage: things are going to be pretty screwed up for a while.

3 years wasted, rubbish, but I know why you say it.

Passes cage some coca cola with nachos salsa and hot cheese melted over. with an extra large box of tissues.

smiles and sunshine.
Glass

ps thanks dom


Delete

Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:For me, that would be the day I first saw Stanford and decided to go here.

And a new life began.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

Cage


member
Location: St. Paul, MN USA

Total posts: 174
Posted:I see what you all mean by the last 3 years not being waste. I guess you are right. I did learn a lot about love and life. I learned how to stand up for myself but still be broken by the power of love. And I have also gotten to see a lot of this beautiful country!

Thank you all for your kind words, you all are the best group of friends that I've never met!

Glass, thanks for the treats!

Kyrian, thanks for starting this thread. You have helped me realize that I'm not alone on the sea of change.

Luckily, I'm throwing a surprise b-day party for a friend tonight so that has been keeping me occupied. It'll be nice to be surrounded by people and not have to think about it.

peace, luv, & positive chaos,
Cage

P.S.
I think I'm going to coin myself a new term: posi chaos. Whadya think?


Without further guilding the lily and with no more ado, I bid you farewell and sweet dreams...

Delete

Charles
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001

Charles

Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland

Total posts: 3989
Posted:Cage, it does feel pretty rotten as well. I thought the worst moment of my life was when I realised I couldn't be openly with the love of my life (cultural, social and religous reasons). We both didn't want to break up but it would have ended up being a choice between her family (that she loved as much as me) and me, and that's not the sort of choice that anyone has the right to ask someone else to make.

Then I looked at it from a "loving her" point of view, and accepted that what we wanted and what I wanted wasn't necessarily what was best for her or myself in the long run.

That completely and utterly changed my view of the world with both platonic and sexual relationships.

People need to do what is right for them and for their partners, the break up is always on the horizon and no job decisions/ life /decisions/ financial decisions should be made without that in mind. The right decisions should be right regardless of most external social influences.

(BTW 8 years later , on the 1st of June this year, we married!!!)


HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Charles, beautiful, thank you.

Cage, i hope all goes well for you, and best of luck flying.... i'm sending love and light your way.

Change exists on many levels, i know, and a lot of it turns out to make sense in some way or another. and honestly, two out of the three times it hasn't had any warning (about a year ago and about four months ago) all the results that flowed from the change were good. i won't bother you all with details, but i suppose what i'm wondering 9in oart is if even good changes, when they are so sudden and drastic, cause some sort of pain or stress to ur mind or spirit...

and i have another point, but i can't word it very well so i'm going to sit on it for a bit.

peace & love, and thanks for your thoughts and stories.

Kyrian


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

Whiffle Squeek


Whiffle Squeek

addict
Location: Hartford, CT USA

Total posts: 416
Posted:Kyrian, just like to say that i think i understand you

for example, the thing About moving to Thailand, that wouldnt be a life changing day, as you describe it, because youre not changin the way you go about life, youre merely changing your location, you still have the same emotions, and views on life, and would probably make the same decisions in a situation experienced over there that you had previously experineced here...

however if you moved to China witht he intent of becoming a Buddhist monk, that would be a life chaning desicion, because in doing so you would be changing the way you go about life, and how you view it (assuming that you dont live like a Buddhist mong right now)

am i right?


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Yes Whiffle, you are right. Thank you.

Does this perhaps clarify any better what i am asking to anyone? Or even you, since you've at least grasped the question? I think i got an answer from drome already and... oi! i don't quite get everything i'm getting at yet.

thanks for letting me think out loud guys!
Peace & Love, Kyrian


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

SeattleLite


member
Location: Japan

Total posts: 12
Posted:Hey thoughtful people, you're all great, you know that? Some very self-enlightened stuff here on this thread. That you're thinking about this at all is by itself an indication that it will all be good in the end.

First, Cage, that's no sob story--you got straight to the point of saying screw it to whatever is standing in your way and going after what you love. That's the important part. While you're in this time of transition, think about ways that you can make that happen in terms of money, living arrangements, education, or whatever's relevant, and then look at that hypothetical situation and see if it still sounds good. Chase it, and don't let it go!!

Sweet, Charles! Living proof that the right thing always does happen. Yes, I really do believe that.

Next, Kyrian, sorry to do this to you, but go here http://www.cartogra.com/home/viewShared.asp?coll_id=1527596,
use the password "gothai" and check out my pix. LOL, you should go to Thailand!!! Actually, everyone should check those out--there's some staff pics on there.

Kyrian, do ya want to be more specific about what you're working out? If not, then totally cool, but it might help ya work things out as you talk about them.

OK, my stories: One life-changing day was sometime in February, 1995. I met the most amazing woman. That changed my life up until last month, when I found out she was married. This was such a weight off my back, I can't even tell you guys! I feel quite free now, except that all my significant exes are now married, and that's kinda stressful.

Two, I moved to Japan. Two years there, including fasting and meditating for extended times in Thailand, and yeah, I came home a different person. Very much changes for the better.

Last story. Last year, I was signed up to go back to Japan to teach because the economy in Seattle was so bad. Then I got an amazing job offer working on Xbox games ... I took the job, but didn't back out of the Japan deal. As the deadline got closer and closer I agonized more and more over what I should do, and I just couldn't make a decision. I mean, I called on all my family, all my friends, I had a life coach working with me, and all of them, even the life coach, couldn't tell me which to do. I was so perfectly in balance between the two. So finally, with just days to go, I said, "Forget it, I'm not going to make a decision. I don't know where I'll be in a month, but wherever it is, it'll be right." Well soon thereafter I went to a doctor who told me I had major back problems (turns out he was wrong ). This gave me a great reason to stay in America, and I had the best year of my entire life. I'll go back to Japan later.

This probably doesn't help you at all but thanx for listening anyway.

peace all,
-T


Delete

Dark Chaos


member
Location: the abyss

Total posts: 15
Posted:It would seem to stress the spirit, IMO.

But Kyrian, may i also encourage you to elaborate on the what? only if you like of course.


the night is darkest before the dawn

Delete

dulce flames


member
Location: Oceanside, California USA

Total posts: 234
Posted:I'll try to answer to your question here.... I think that ones life can definatly change with the decisions made in one day.... I find that I am a very flexible person when it comes to what I enjoy out of life, so I am easy to adapt to different living styles.... In retrospect (yesterday and beyond), I can follow when and how things changed, but while going through it, you can't really tell where the choices are going to lead you.... Now I am at a place where I would never have imagined myself two years ago... It's funny because the idea about moving to Thailand really could change your life forever... I decided to travel to Mexico 2 years ago.. Packed up and left Santa Cruz (a beeeeutiful place) to check out down south... After Puerto Escondido I ended up in Veracruz, a state I never planned to go to... Within a month, I picked up new sports, a new language, new friends, and the man who is now my husband and living here with me in Cali.... While in Mexico I also ended up in Cancun, which is where I first started to learn poi.... Now all those things that I found in Mexico are part of daily life here... My language used at home is different than before, I spin almost daily, and well, things are just very different! I still do the things I did before going to Mexico, but I'm in a different place and seeing with a different light... OOOOh, and craving my bed... That means I shouldn't drag on much more! Life's crazy... Gotta make the most out of it.

Delete

PK_
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

PK_

Lambretta Fanatic


Total posts: 4991
Posted:life can change, can make you think differently.

My point is this..

I think that i di a lot of growing up over the years, leaving home at 18.. various relationships good and bad... moving around to different places and moving to other countries... meeting people of all walks of live and taking inspirations from those people and even online friends can be influencial.

I dont think that i have ever grown up so much when it finally kicks in that you have become a Dad smile , after the adjustments and realising that spare time is now just a miracle, but now you really have to provide for that little helpless child.

my story of becoming a dad to a extremly premature 2lb 6oz boy is not really why im writing this, it was the that, the 3 months of seeing my son in an incubator that made the becoming a parent and the realisation of having to provide for my son kick in later than it should have done.

I dont know if other parents feel this too, but for me it marks a memorable moment in every ones life, i think that the birth of a child affects every one, the way you go about your daily buisness is now changed for the rest of your life.

Id be interested to read how other people view changes in life... i know through my years or reading hop that i have sat back and watched others taking their journey and seeing how they are now to how they used to be, by the way they write, the friends they have etc.. i dont know life is mysterious and confussing and some times things are just difficult to put into words, phylosofies on life... confused


PK.

"To be an angel, one need not have wings.
In giving love there is an equal grace.
Nor need one seek the aura in the face,
As love unveils the beauty of all things."

*Francois Couperin.

Delete

BansheeCat
BRONZE Member since Jul 2005

veteran
Location: lost

Total posts: 1247
Posted:I have had a few moments in the last years where everything suddenly changed.The Tsunami was one, to be sure. The deaths of my friends and family that followed closely after that , and my own illness, another. In close sequence too! I am not the same person, at all. Don't think the same, don't feel the same, don't function the same. The pattern of most of my life dissolved, or was exploded, whatever...

It was initially supremely disorienting. Now, I seem to be getting a new definition of myself that is coalescing enough that I can actually begin to consider future tense possibilities. For a while there, it was impossible.

But yeah, definitely there are single moments where everything, absolutely everything, changes.


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

Delete

FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA

Total posts: 1848
Posted:yup, i know exactly what you're talking about.

i don't know if mine was so much as one day or one moment, but recently i've gone from go-get-em, must have an uber career, wanna live in a sexy high-rise appartment building type chick to... something else... i'm still working out what that is... but something made me realise that i'm not cut out for a big career... i spent 3 years working in IT and now at 22 i'm a burnt-out mess...

so now i'm living in a country town, working at subway, and starting to do alot of internal reflection and spiritual exploration... go figure.


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

Delete

Firetramp


Firetramp

old hand
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight

Total posts: 896
Posted:I've had a few life changing days in my life but one always sticks clearly in my mind as it happened in such a bizarre way:

A couple of years ago, I went to Anglesey for a few days around my 30th birthday. I had hitchhiked there from Bristol and really enjoyed it there.
The day I decided to leave was really sunny, a good day to hitchhike and I quickly got a lift in a car going quite far south. But as we were driving further and further away from Anglesey, the feeling that I didn't want to go yet was growing stronger, so nearing some junction, I told the driver that I had changed my mind and wanted to go back. Nothing to do with him, I just had to go back.

That evening, back on Anglesey, I ended up at a party where I met a guy named Dylan. We met up again the next day, went on a daytrip and he told me about Bulgaria and how cheap property was there. I had never been to Bulgaria, never even concidered going there but I later looked it up on the internet. Less than a year later I bought a house there! A very large, beautiful and very cheap house. Now, in January Bulgaria is joining the EU, prices are rising quickly and I'll probably be moving there and start a completely new life!

*Now goes to sit with Cage and have nachos and salsa. Nice change after three days of chocolate.*


Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.

Delete

The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:Yeah, I've had a couple of those days that changed everything - both were quite bad experiences - they've left me feeling like I've grown a lot as a person but at the same time I've become hopelessly detached (and a tad romantic but also bitter) about my past and the places and people I grew up with. I've been feeling a bit lost for a couple of years now, but things have been settled for a while now so it doesn't upset me like it used to.

Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

Delete

Eera


old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay

Total posts: 1107
Posted:Wow, Firetramp. I really, REALLY admire people who just make up their mind and go for it. There's way too much procrastination and mithering around already. I hope it works out increadibly well for you.

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

Delete