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Forums > Social Chat > Ah, what a dumbarse I am...

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:So the entire incident where I washed my cellphone has got me to thinking.

I really am a dumbarse.

I mean, for a man with two degrees from Stanford (in molecular biology) and most of a medical degree from Michigan (one of the most prestigious medical schools in the world), it's truly spectacular just how little simple good sense I have. ubblol

For example, did you know that if you use SOFT-SCRUB with Bleach on your bathtub, then forget to rinse it away, then go out on a date, that when you return to your apartment the entire place will smell like a gas chamber? (Please note that this is especially inconvenient when you are bringing home said date.) redface

Did you know that if you put a cast-iron pan on the stove to dry and forget to turn it off, it will actually glow cherry red? And that it will take a good hour before you can safely touch it?

Did you know that if you forget to close your windows before leaving for work on a day when severe thunderstorms are forecast, you don't have to worry about watering the plants in your windowsill? (Note: this is a slightly sloppy method, as it also waters your carpet, your sofa, and your bookshelf)

So there are plenty of very smart, but not so bright people just like me on this board. What lovely things have you discovered?


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:A fork is not a lever (well, at least not a lever for stiff plugs)

Don't leave the light on in your car if you want to get to work in the morning

Sleeping outside = dew on face

If you wish to read a book, DO NOT pick up the guitar (eeefil guitar)


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 3044
Posted:dont feel alone.... im also remarkable absent minded. its strange - i can solve any problem they throw at me in engineering - thats my strength - problem solving & lateral thinking... but i cant even remember to water the plants when mum away... oh sh*T!!!!! *runs out*



back now... plants seem alive... anyway, despite my healthy resume and good career prospects im stupidly absentminded. i lose things frequently... perhaps its because i dont have much sentimental attachment to material objects, that it doesnt bother me when they dissappear? not sure...



im the type of person who looks for his car keys for 10 minutes before realising im holding them.



what have i forgotten about recenty? i recently found a t-bone on a plate in my desk...from dinner last week. it was under a pile of thermodynamics notes i was trying to avoid...

i have the somewhat dangerous habit of occaisonally leaving keys in the front door... ive sometimes forgotten to put the car in park and put the handbrake on. i was half way out the car when it started rolling back down the hill, resulting in some impressive speeding hopping and a dive inside to wrench up the hand brake.



im sure theres others which ive forgotten about....

EDITED_BY: Dentrassi (1097589478)


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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Sym
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

Sym

Geek-enviro-hippy priest
Location: Diss, Norfolk

Total posts: 1858
Posted:bleach + lime (from your bath) make a type of chlorine gas i think...!!

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by: Dentrassi

i recently found a t-bone on a plate in my desk...from dinner last week. it was under a pile of thermodynamics notes i was trying to avoid...



Had entropy taken its toll? ubblol


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 3044
Posted:ubblolubblol its so sad that i find that so funny...



but on that note, surely the order dictated by the rather advanced bacterial colony on the t-bone would indicate that entropy is increasing...




EDITED_BY: Dentrassi (1097593078)


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I'm really forgetful. I have the memory of a senile goldfish. I've lost count of the number of umbrellas I've left on trains and buses. I went food shopping once and after I'd filled the trolly/cart, as I was about to go to the checkout it dawned on me I'd left my wallet in my locker at work.

I've once cycled into work, chained my bike up and gone into work. At the end of the day I had forgotten I cycled in and went and caught the bus home. One of the regular bus passenger said to me "You were late for work today were you?" when I said "no why?" she replied "Well I didn't see you this morning" The penny suddenly dropped. She laughed all the way home and still asks me some days "Are you sure you didn't cycle in today?"

My sister beats all though. On her way home one day she parked the car across the road from the bank at the bottom of her road. She went to the cash machine, did all she has to and then walked home. She left the car unlocked. The next morning she woke up and finding that the car wasn't outside the house she phoned the police saying it had been stolen. The car was found with nothing missing and all the doors unlocked and unforced. She to this day still claims she drove it home and that they must have carefully broken into it and pushed it down the hill. She gets all huffy if you mention it ubblol


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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JakBJC


JakBJC

member
Location: Norwich, UK

Total posts: 117
Posted:Sounds really stupid, and i'm not quite sure why i did it... stuck piece of toast i assume but... I once tried to dislodge 'said piece' of toast with a (metal) knife when i saw it was burning in the toaster. I electrocuted myself. Smart. ubblol

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stroo
SILVER Member since Feb 2003

stroo

trusty sidekick to superman
Location: oxford, england, uk

Total posts: 799
Posted:they took me to have an eye test because i kept walking into things...turns out im just clumpsy...

Livin' on dreams and custard creams

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:Lol, glad it's not just me.

I've often wondered why I was putting the icecream back in the cupboard with the dishes. And I'm pretty sure the butter doesn't go in the microwave.

I've also driven into town a few times and forgotten why I was there. To combat this I've started writing lists (yep, like my mother) when I go out. Tragic, but it saves time and petrol.

I put it all down to smoking too much biggrin


Getting to the other side smile

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:i have to have the worst memory ever, in so many conversations i will be talking and then mid conversation i will just very slowly trail off, and my eyes will trail off too and i will just stare into the bleakness and i will totally forget what i was just talking about, i mean totally!!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Domino
SILVER Member since May 2004

UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK

Total posts: 757
Posted:Don't leave your car lights on if you want to get HOME from work.

Decide whether you're doing 3 beat weave or 5 beat, if you can't you'll hit yourself in the face. Again.


Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

Total posts: 456
Posted:I used to find the milk in the sink every once in a while. Why's the milk in the sink, I'd ask myself. Going to put it back in the refrigerator, I'd find the dirty breakfast dishes.

Domino, that's a good rule, but there's a more general one: don't try to do one two-handed move with one hand and a different (incompatible) two-handed move with the other one. Your face is among the LEAST injurious places this can impact you.

Other things I've learned:

If you put your keys in the same place absolutely every time you come in the door, you're somewhat less likely to have to spend your last minute rush out the door frantically looking for them.

The phrase "Oh, I have plenty of time" basically means "I'm going to be late this time for sure."

Similarly, "set that there for now" means "that is its permanent place until 6 months from now, when I have to use a metal scraper to detach the gooey mess leaking from it from the table."

"I'm sure that will come in handy" means "that will join the pile of ambitiously-bought but never-used junk in my apartment."

"I'm sure I just paid that bill" means "Damn! Late again!"

Spider plants hold up very well to not being watered for extended periods. Not forever, though.

If you don't wash a towel for a really, really long time, it eventually will stand up by itself, eliminating the need for a towel rack. Now that I'm an adult I can afford towel racks, and so I wash my towels frequently. By comparison.

The most important thing I've learned, though: another person with ADHD can follow ALL my conversational topic-switching, and follow all the threads, and we can really have five conversations at once! Heck with those other people -- rude of them to flee the room screaming insanely, wasn't it?


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:The worst thing possible to forget...

One day, manyyears ago Lillie Frog was hungry so she decided to get a bag of chips from the chippy.
She dressed the baby froggling (the brat child) in his little anorack and pushed him down the road in his pushchair and parked him outside the chippy.
Once she had been served, smelling the delicious chips in the bag, she wandered out of theshop and back up the road.
(Can you see what I forgot?)
Yes, half way up the road she hears a pathetic wail from the direction of the shops. Turning round she is astounded to see the kid still there outside the shop, kicking its legs so that the pushchair rolloed backwards and forwards. (yes, I'd forgotten the brake too)
I had too run back down and get him, with all the people in the shop staring at me in an accusing way. It didn't help that I had a moheican, mini skirt and nose ring, I was obviously an incompetant mother anyway.

Other stupid things I've realised.
1. Hoping it won't happen don't stop you getting pregnant.
2. Ignoring the fact that you are pregnant don't make it go away.
Ha Ha.
Life, eh?


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by:
The most important thing I've learned, though: another person with ADHD can follow ALL my conversational topic-switching, and follow all the threads, and we can really have five conversations at once! Heck with those other people -- rude of them to flee the room screaming insanely, wasn't it?



Those "other" people = people with ASD. Attention Surplus Disorder.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:Written by: stroo

they took me to have an eye test because i kept walking into things...turns out im just clumpsy...



ubblol


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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NOn


activist for HoPper liberation.
Location: ffidrac

Total posts: 1643
Posted:i've done the thing where things go back in entirely the wrong places and have on occasion forgotten the entire layout of the kitchen of the house that i've lived in for years and not been able to find anything.

I also have a tendency to entirely forget where I am going - this is usually because i have no particular destination in mind so i quite often stop and change it thus disrupting the flow of whoever may be walking near me too...

Has anyone elses email evolved in snail mail and snail mail to tortoise mail? your average important letter to be posted usually gets carried around for about 3 weeks before actual posting, and the average email sits in the inbox for a similar period and gets deleted by the server..... you may think - phones, that's sounds pretty fail safe - instant contact and all.... nah... i usually miss all my calls....


Aurinko freedom agreement reached 10th Sept 2006

if it makes no sense that's because it's NOn-sense.

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Ok, Mr. Fraggle, sir. I'm sure you've got some whoppers to share.

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:You want me to divulge information on a public forum that would make people think that i am in any way less than perfect?

i'll think about it and let you know...


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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garthy
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

garthy

old hand
Location: Bristol, England

Total posts: 717
Posted:Written by: Domino

Don't leave your car lights on if you want to get HOME from work.

Decide whether you're doing 3 beat weave or 5 beat, if you can't you'll hit yourself in the face. Again.



ubblol Guilty! Both of those.

I've paniced while talking to someone on the phone "%^*% Where's my phone!"

eek


"**grumble*spuriouswindmills*grumble**" - Coleman
"if poi was only for girls there wouldnt be many good poi spinners...." - Nx

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Trillian
BRONZE Member since Feb 2004

Trillian

Llamas are larger than frogs.
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio

Total posts: 319
Posted:I often forget who I'm calling in the middle of the ringing, and then get really confused when someone picks up aand I dont know who to ask for!
I also tend to put the milk in the cabinet every once ina while.


"I know a good deal more than a boiled carrot."
"Fire!" "Where?" "Nowhere, I was just illustrating the misuse of free speech."

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by:
I often forget who I'm calling in the middle of the ringing, and then get really confused when someone picks up aand I dont know who to ask for!




ubblol

I do this ALL the time! biggrin


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:me too! It's kinda cool sometimes, cos I get a nice surprise when the person answers.

HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

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Malcolm
SAPPHIRE Member since Nov 2003

Malcolm

HOP admin
Location: HOP

Total posts: 998
Posted:I once pick up a calculator and typed in a phone number and put it to my ear.
Now the calculator has a label on it "Not the phone"


"May your balls always burn"

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:ubblol @ Malcolm!



I once wandered around the house looking for my eyeglasses for 10 minutes.



I eventually found them...



...on my face...



...in front of my eyes.



shrug

EDITED_BY: Lightning? (1097727728)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 3044
Posted:i put orange juice in my coffee this morning. thankfully i noticed the slightly odd colour before i drank it.

i then proceeded to put the cereal in the fridge.


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Written by: Malcolm

I once pick up a calculator and typed in a phone number and put it to my ear.
Now the calculator has a label on it "Not the phone"



Gee, thanks malcom, now everyone's looking at me for laughing so loud biggrin Genius


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:A woman I work with told me that yesterday when she was using phone banking, she typed in the password on her computer keyboard instead of the phone keypad. Then spent a couple of minutes repeatedly hitting the enter key and wondering why nothing was happening.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:The best one I ever did was while applying to medical schools, I sent a letter to Duke telling them that I was interested in going to DARTMOUTH. I had stuffed the wrong letter in the wrong envelope and only discovered this when I came back home after mailing it and noticed that the Duke letter was still on my desk with the Dartmouth envelope.

Funny. Duke didn't take me. ubblol


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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