Forums > Social Chat > GOD, what would you do?

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ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:OK, so you have a bad day,

not getting on with someone,

someone on the undergroud smelled realy bad,

or just those people that stand by to let you through a door,

and then try to get through at the same time.



You cant stand it, and you want to change it.



so heres your chance.



you are now GOD.



so now, put down what you want to change; and why



so to start with.



I am going to stop the WIND

cos I can't busk with my diadolo



I will bring an end to all rain in the day time.

it can only happen at 6.30am. co's I'm never up befor then any way.



just got the second biggest down pour of my life. the other was 2 weeks ago in the same place. cor germany's summer is not cool.



Then I am going to make every one that stops for street performers and takes a pic pay for it. 2 euro's please



and I want to ban thouse statue things, they are not fuuny and should burn in hell.



thinking of hell that can go as well. (still keeping a small bit of it for the statues. They can cram in to the smalest place possible.)



then I am going to make the moon red all the time, cos it looks cooler like that .



after that I am going to ban cars, planes and anything else that uses fule. you can all go over to solar or wind power then.



then I am going to start a big circus camp, on an island, in the middle of the ocean some where. and the juggle 20 rings behind my back, posibley in mills, while on stilts, trying to jump through a hole in space and time.



and im not finished there.



some where along the way I'm going to get every hate filled person, and turn them in to Juggling Balls, for me to play with.



and after all that I might have a rest for 1 hour or 2.



but then I am god so I can do what I want



ubbloco


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13922
Posted:I'm going to show up in every hate-preaching house of worship and turn the priest/pastor/rabbi/imam/etc. into a pillar of fire after delivering a speech about using My Name to preach hate. Think that might be worth a story on CNN? ubblol



Then I am going to level the entire Rock in Jerusalem where the Western Wall and the Dome of the Rock is and boom from heaven: "KNOCK IT OFF." And I don't mean I'd just knock down the Dome of the Rock, because the Jews might take that as a sign that they were right, after all. I mean I'd level the whole mountain. "If you can't share it, then nobody gets it."



Then I am going to (abruptly) gather all world leaders in a room somewhere and lead a rather pointed discussion about the ratio of funding for the military vs. education and scientific research.



And then I am going to go and write a very simple manifesto which will contain some sort of checksum in it to make sure that nobody ever tries to change it. It should be less than 10 pages. Basic idea is: respect other people as long as they aren't actively hurting others, respect my creation by not completely trashing it, and start spreading out and populating the galaxy.



Oh, and then I'm going to figure some way to rescind that little rule about nothing being able to travel faster than light. biggrin



And, finally, I will turn Ann Arbor, MI into a tropical paradise where it only rains for 10 minutes at 3 AM. ubblol


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:I am going to turn all weapons into pink flowers ubbangel

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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FunkFish


FunkFish

Watch out as ultimate Cute and Funkyness arives...
Location: Holland, Zaandam (next to Amst...

Total posts: 191
Posted:i will stop all war... (littel fishy pasifist..)

then i will make bein gay accepted all over the world...

and ofcourse the regular things.. big house... money... jacuzy biggrin


Push me, and then just hurt me, till i can get my satisfaction...

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Stormy, Queen of Vodka


Stormy, Queen of Vodka

The HoP Industrial Rainbow Fairy
Location: Near Portsmouth, UK

Total posts: 385
Posted:I'm going to make every nasty person in the world who ever slated someone because of what they looked like live in a little tiny glass box so people can poke them and watch them like the animals they are.

Then I'll trap all the annoying, attention-seeking ceberities, like christina aguilera, naiomi campbell, britney spears, frigging Russel Crowe (I HATE that man), Jennifer Lopez, the whole of D12 and every up themselves 'blingin' rapper in the world in a rocket and fire them to the moon where they can all irritate the hell out of each other and vye for popularity without annoying all us innocent bystanders.

After I've done that, I'll make love yourself day a national holiday, where all spas and health farms are free for the day WORLDWIDE and everyone can take a day out and just relax and take time to love themselves for the people they are, because people don't do enough of that.

When that's done, I'd then like to create new T.V, magazines and media in general, where nothing is advertised with 'perfect' supermodels, and everyone on t.v is all shapes and sizes, and as diverse and everyday so that people aren't pressured by skinny, fashion conformist supermodels telling them they HAVE to look like this to be better people. Self esteem is at an all time low and I'd abolish that right away.

After doing this, I'd probably give lots of war effort money to third world countries and outlaw war, and anyone that instigated it would be punished with death, because if they wanted to start war, they don't deserve to live if they are willing to sacrifice others for their own benefit.

Oh, and I'd also make love a requirement for everyone. Love makes the world go round, and hate is unproductive. Everyone would be encouraged to love at least one person, so the world would be a more caring place.

I'd also abolish university tuition fees cause I AM PAYING TOO MUCH DAMN MONEY!!! biggrin

And, of course, Poi would become a standard curriculum subject instead of P.E. cause Poi is much more fun than running round the school field in the rain biggrin

Then I'd rest and have lots of fun with my loving demi-god boyfriend, Seraphire wheee!

heh


.You've got invisible fangs and cherry nun bangs,
Your erotic cabaret is non stop
You're wearing too many belts
And I bet they leave welts
Shut up and dance cause I wanna pop.

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simian


simian

110% MONKEY EVERY TIME ALL THE TIME JUST CANT STOP THE MONKEY
Location: London

Total posts: 3149
Posted:Probably best to just carry on doing what God does at the moment. After all, he's the omniscient one. So i'd do absolutely nothing, and be extremely careful to leave no trace of evidence for my own existence.

"Switching between different kinds of chuu chuu sometimes gives this "urgh wtf?" effect because it's giving people the phi phenomenon."

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kiteman


Flying high!
Location: At the beach.

Total posts: 245
Posted:To start with, it will always be sunny, warm and low tide at Hayling Island with a 15 - 20 mph SW wind.

When you leave school you are given all the money you need to survive until 50, then you go to work to pay it off.

TV will be banned.

Every traffic light will turn green when I get to it.

And anyone who pisses me off will get struck by a bolt of lightning.

Put an end to war, and let everyone get on with there own life the way they want to live it.


If everything seems under control, your not going fast enough!

It's not the size of the wave, it's the length of the ride!

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MikeIcon
GOLD Member since Mar 2003

MikeIcon

Pooh-Bah
Location: Philadelphia, PA - USA

Total posts: 2109
Posted:I would sort through everyone's soul and erradicate any whom I dont believe to be suitable of continuing life.

I would then convert earth into Eden so that everyone may live in harmony with each other and nature.


Let's turn those old bridges we crossed into ashes.
We'll blaze a new trail,
and torch the rough patches.

-Me

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native
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

native

sleeping with angels
Location: anaheim CA usa

Total posts: 508
Posted:i would take all the people who hate. and i dont mean hate in the normal way. but rapist and child malestors and just wicked people. and give them to the family of the victoms and tell them they can do whatever they want to them as long as the want. there is no worse pain than to loose a love one to somone who finds pleshure in hurting people

SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha

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fireboy


An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia

Total posts: 252
Posted:make sure sick disgusting people (such as peodifiles and rapists) were not born at all

Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

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Silvur
BRONZE Member since Sep 2003

Silvur

sumthin sumin smmnm....
Location: home sweet home, USA

Total posts: 372
Posted:I would start by leveling the playing field a little bit, and take those ppl out there that prey on others, be it by rape, molestation, torture, oppression, whatever, and make them victims of their own demise.

then i would ban certain people from the ability of having children, and allow those who are barren but deserve and want kids to have them.

next, i would inject everyone with a love potion that would stop racism, terrorism, and hate-crimes.

after that, i would find a nice, quiet tropical island somewhere and live there forever!!!

smile


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Bender_the_Offender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

Bender_the_Offender

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:careful what you wish for, because humanity is fated to err, and absolute power easily becomes a curse.
I could not become God, because my consciousness could not possibly percieve the maddening inifinity of space and time.
Even now, i can only percieve the universe in time forwards.
We aren't deities for a reason(!)


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Stormy, Queen of Vodka


Stormy, Queen of Vodka

The HoP Industrial Rainbow Fairy
Location: Near Portsmouth, UK

Total posts: 385
Posted:Written by: bender

careful what you wish for, because humanity is fated to err, and absolute power easily becomes a curse.
I could not become God, because my consciousness could not possibly percieve the maddening inifinity of space and time.
Even now, i can only percieve the universe in time forwards.
We aren't deities for a reason(!)



That was incredibly philosophic, and very intellectual and made a lot of sense to me smile Still, it's nice to pretend isn't it biggrin


.You've got invisible fangs and cherry nun bangs,
Your erotic cabaret is non stop
You're wearing too many belts
And I bet they leave welts
Shut up and dance cause I wanna pop.

Delete

Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Whoa there people!!! There's some HATE around this place! A lot of people have gone for some pretty extreme revenge and punishment options.

Think about this: vengeance taints and corrupts. Revenge is abuse of power. And ultimately dispensing divine justice and damning people who don't fit your ideology is the easy, lazy way to do things.

The problem with people, especially religous people, is that they can't begin to understand the concept of a 'god'-like mentality. By definition we never can as our minds are human minds, but they're powerful! If god exists and is a supreme being then chances are god'd be a pretty loving kinda person, love being the highest emotion. A supreme being capable of infinite love has no need for damnation, declarations, commandments, books, worship, revenge, bitterness, envy, etc... These are all flaws of the human ego and you'd not have them if you were god.

So, if I were god I'd love, show that love 24/7 and hope it caught on.


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ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:Written by: Dm

So, if I were god I'd love, show that love 24/7 and hope it caught on.



Dom.

you rock man.
Can I offer some of that love back to you. hug ubblove hug

Can't wate to see you again.

ubbloco


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

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Radzyn
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

Radzyn

HoP Star Wars Aficionado
Location: Las Vegas, NV, USA

Total posts: 183
Posted:*smites* (bad people)

*smite smite smite smite smite*

Thou hath been Smitten!!!

*creates a hot tub*

Ahhhhh...

The Hot Tub o' Peace and Love (in an entirely platonic(sp?) sense)


~Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:I would make chewing gum at work, when you work in cubicles, illegal.

*grumbles and screams and yells*

I really loath the bad habit of chewing gum with your mouth open...and insisting on blowing bubbles. What a putz


Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:OH! And make menstral cramps a thing of the past.

Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)


enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

Total posts: 456
Posted:Hmm, I've never wanted to be an omniscient monotheistic type of god. When I think of being a god, I think of "What would I want to be the god OF?"

But that's another thread; perhaps I'll start it, but I won't hijack this one.

If I became God (as opposed to a god), I'd probably do a fair amount of smiting at first. People who exploit other people, people who tell kids it's wrong to masturbate, stuff like that. Then I'd start being nicer.

I'd make ALL of Jerusalem (and certain other places) completely off limits to all humans with even a little bit of hate in their hearts. They'd just bounce off a soft, invisible barrier. The Western Wall, the Dome of the Rock, all that stuff would be only for people who can come there with devotion and without malice.

I'd reforest Ireland, bring back the Fair Folk, and make everyone learn Irish if they want to live there. A hundred years later it'd be the Poetry Capital of the World, with no further intervention.

I'd tweak the laws of physics so that nuclear weapons wouldn't work any more.

I'd make human fertility strictly voluntary, requiring a brief daily meditation (for ten days) to turn on, and weekly refreshes to maintain. Also, this wouldn't work until the individual was completely finished with adolescence (about age 25, but keyed off hormonal changes and brain development).

After a few generations, I'd adjust human lifespans to a base of 600 years - sliced in half for each child borne or sired. So a person with no children could live to be 600; with one, 300, with two, 150 etc. So having two kids would still afford a very reasonable lifespan, but virtually no one would have five.

After a few more generations, I'd repopulate the world with forests and cool animals, since there'd be room.

I'd make everyone race-blind. Humans would see individual characteristics, but be unable to identify or label "races." I believe there's no other way to get rid of racism, unfortunately. I'd be loath to make a lot of other mental changes; this one actually exists (as does gender-blind, and completely face-blind) as a disorder today.

When I was done with the big stuff (which might include a few other things; if I were God I'd be sure to think of everything), I'd fragment myself into billions of little God-bits, which would become inherent in the world itself, and everyone and everything in it.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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MiG
GOLD Member since Apr 2004

MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia

Total posts: 3415
Posted:hey, what do you mean if?

well, i see a lot of people saying they'd get rid of hate, hateful feelings, and stuff like that. i really dont think i would. love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and that coin is always going to have to have another face. if you hate everything, or, for that matter, love indiscriminately, then that love, or that hate pales in its meaning. like if you got rid of everything that tastes bad, then the things that taste really good lose that goodness. so hate would stay.

war, im not certain about. while admittedly few, there are good points to war. it boosts technological advancement considerably. example: if world war one hadnt come along, the plane would probably not be where it is. if world war two never happened, we'd probably still be flying around in piston engined planes, or the jet age would be in its infancy. War also destroys a lot of old stuff that wouldnt have been destroyed otherwise, and gives a chance for new things to be built. ok, so lots of the beautiful old buildings get destroyed, but not only are the ones remaining now even more beautiful because of their rarity, but the destroyed buildings are replaced by newer, more functional items. however, the human, social and economic consequences outweigh that. so war im not certain on.

ants and flies would be replaced by animals that perform exactly the same function, but are infinitely less irritating to humankind.

actually, i really dont think i would change a great deal. more productive land in africa, surely, and i'd probably work out a way for communism to work out properly, but thats iffy. whether i would be a good god, i dont know. but i reckon i'd act a little like the one in monty python's search for the holy grail. "stop with the apologising. everyone's always sorry this, im not worthy, just cut it out!"


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13922
Posted:I agree with MiG. Hatred is a natural human emotion. The issue is how much it consumes people. Lord knows I hate.

This is one of my biggest beefs with Christianity as a theology: it expects you to control your base emotions. If you understand the wiring of the brain, you realize that you can react to and suppress those emotions, but you cannot abort them before they come up altogether. Judaism, on the other hand, doesn't care what goes on in your head, but regulates behavior. Islam is similar in that there is less emphasis on what goes on inside the skull and more emphasis on outward behavior.

Hate will never disappear. HOWEVER, what I would want to do is to strip all haters of their excuse to do so.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Is that hateful? wink

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13922
Posted:Nah, more a comment on theology.

Believe me, there are things about Judaism that drive me nuts. At least Christians do believe that what is in your heart is what matters, rather than threatening you with punishment for making silly mistakes in regulatory minutae.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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The Real Fryed Fish


God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:I would do 1 thing, make weed legal world wide....the rest would just fall into place, people would forget were they put their guns, and all gather at the sacred MacDonalds!! thats it

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too

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MiG
GOLD Member since Apr 2004

MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia

Total posts: 3415
Posted:you know, i really like that two sided coin thing. i can see why the yin-yang symbol is so popular.

to remove reasons for hatred, how do you mean? if someone hated green, for example, would that be removing green? or is what you have in mind a lot more complex than that?

on further thought, i would probably open a lot more choice to people, like how long they want to grow their hair, what colour they want it to be, and stuff like that. i know you can control these things by getting haircuts and stuff, but people would be able to innately control their actual growth.

And all music and intellectual property would be free.

Actually, thats more of a governmental thing that a godlike thing. which a few people have done on here. course, there is no problems with that, but it shows the level of thought required to make decisions on deitic scale. it shows exactly why we arent gods.


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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native
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

native

sleeping with angels
Location: anaheim CA usa

Total posts: 508
Posted:rain is falling from the sky the tears for a angels eye
to bring a smile to satans cry. to hate to sleep to fall apart to feal my live loose its heart. to cry to morn to fall again.
why is it now i pray for the end


SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha

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Gidg
BRONZE Member since Apr 2003

Gidg

Super Gidg!!!!
Location: Portland Oregon USA

Total posts: 8506
Posted:I'll pass, I wouldn't want all that responsibility. I have enough as it. I'll just keep trying to make my little corner of the world better, thank you very much.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

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Bender_the_Offender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

Bender_the_Offender

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:we are making assumptions that the ultimate omnipotence in the universe is concentrated into one ultimate entity.
I believe that this power and the universe can be the same thing - by that I worship God and i do not; becuase i believe the divine is everywhere nad nowhere in particular.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Katch
GOLD Member since Jun 2004

Katch

Beach bum
Location: , Singapore

Total posts: 162
Posted:I think that's why there's such a thing as free will. If a supreme being chooses to control how we think, or how the world turns out... then we'll all just be puppets. Good people are good because they choose to do good, not because they're forced to do so. biggrin

There's a quote that went something like "All sorrows on this earth humans cause for themselves" (Not verbatim). There's only so much that God may want to do before coming across as tyrannical. Adversity for the most part makes us better people. Because the world is imperfect, we normally strive to be better.

On a lighter note... If I were to be god, I'd give a bit more conscience/ generosity to those watching street performers wink (and maybe a bit of an invisible barrier as well so that crazy people can't walk up to you asking you if they can light their ciggy from your poi)


Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-Franklin P. Jones

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MiG
GOLD Member since Apr 2004

MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia

Total posts: 3415
Posted:hmm, reminds me of a clockwork orange, and the treatment alex goes through...

"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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