Forums > Social Chat > Why not to pick up Hitch-Hikers

Login/Join to Participate
Page:
Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
So I'm on the way back from last nights fire meet in Bath, and I see this guy, thumb out, by the side of the road. I'm on a high, of course, and feeling indestructable so I pick him up.

He LOOKED fine from the road, but once in the car acted like, really paranoid, kept looking out the back window and hid his face when a car overtook.

So we're talking about how hot it was today and after a break in the conversation I notice he has a duffel bag by his feet, so I say "so what's in the bag?"

He gruffly (I think he was Scottish) replies "none of yer f***ing business"

Being me, I thought he was joking, so I'm like "really though, what's in the bag?"

Again, "none of yer f***ing business, alright?"

So I sort of slow down the car and say, "look mate, I'm giving you a lift, the least you can do is be honest, what's in the f***ing bag?"

"NONE OF YER F***ING BUSINESS"

So I'm like "fine..." and I pull over and tell him to get out. He doesn't argue, just swears under his breath, and I burn off before he can barely shut the door, and I see him in the rear view mirror running after me and waving his fists.

I'm laughing hysterically at this point and can't believe what has just happened. It was only when I got home that I noticed the duffel bag, sitting in front of the passenger seat!

Magnus... pay it forward


KillaHill_10304member
17 posts
Location: sheffield


Posted:
open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag open the bag bag the open bag the open bagger baggeer oppening the ****in bag

if the bag has some nasty severed mutilated nead in it i didn't tell u to open the bag

don't worry we'll soon all go back to the gases


Motaddict
666 posts
Location: Netherlands


Posted:
Why not to pick up hitch hikers :

Cause they give bad head?

Chuckle chuckle

Come forth and thou shalt win enternal happiness. but he came fifth so he won an electric toatser.


flidBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom


Posted:
"Why not to pick up Hitch-Hikers"

obviously someone who hasn't seen the Texas Chainsaw Masacre. I would have thought it's fairly obvious not to pick up hitchhikers

Astarmember
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.


Posted:
I like how it is apparently ehtical to steal a persons bag but not to look in it, way to go magnus.

Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
I didn't steal it, I didn't notice until I got home. There wasn't much point in going all the way back.

Magnus... pay it forward


Astarmember
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.


Posted:
it was just a joke.

_VT_SILVER Member
Your Face!
1,173 posts
Location: el paso, tx, USA


Posted:
After reading this thread i agree on the "open the bag, open the bag ,open the bag,and for Jebus Crisp sake's man open the Friggin' bag

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!
-Albert Einstein-

Peanut butter... It fills the cracks of the soul! -Paul Blart-


Thistleold hand
950 posts
Location: Nottingham UK


Posted:
I agree with Charles about handing the bag in at the police station.

However, I do not believe you have not looked in the bag. No offence, I'm judging you entirely on my own standards and curiosity would get the better of me. I'd have to look in the bag.

Are we nearly there yet?


CharlesBRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand


Posted:
Oh yeah, and if this guys life savings are in the bag, and he's a crazy millionaire and he reports the theft to the police...Magnus, you could be jailed for grand larsen, depending on what is in the bag (ie 1 million dollars).

I still don't think this story is real, especially as Magnus hasn't got all shirty and annoyed at me and told me it is (hmmmmmm:rolleyes:)

But, if you hand it in to th epolice, and tell them what happened, it might just corroborate (spelling) with his own story when he reported the theft and you have a good chance of getting off.

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?


AstroBoymember
43 posts
Location: Halifax


Posted:
He wrote this to drive us all crazy and it's working.
He can't be charged for whats in the bag because no one on f**king earth would know who has it except the crazy hitchiker who isn't going to tell the police someone stole his dufflebag, which happened to contain a human head.
If it is a human head... you should keep it.

polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
i stand by what i said before. it was a joke. the next person was supposed to (and did) ask 'what was in the bag' so that the punchline ('none of yer f***ing business') could be delivered.

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


Captain HazzardBRONZE Member
Ninja (shhhh, don't tell)
420 posts
Location: Truro, UK


Posted:
surely this is just a wind up story. that gets you to ask whtas in the bag and get an identical answer a million times.
my dad used to do one to me a thousand times. unfortunately it wont work in text, you can see the spelling. it relies on phonetics you see.
"how high is a china man?"
the other says "i dunno, how high is a china man?"
to which you respond
"yes, i know. how high IS a china man"
etc etc

I only wanted to be 16... and free


Motaddict
666 posts
Location: Netherlands


Posted:
How long is a china man!!!!!

Come forth and thou shalt win enternal happiness. but he came fifth so he won an electric toatser.


ValuraSILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia


Posted:
There is no bag....

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"


Salingermember
382 posts
Location: Southampton


Posted:
quote:
Originally posted by Charles:
Oh yeah, and if this guys life savings are in the bag, and he's a crazy millionaire and he reports the theft to the police
Charles is right, every time I seem to pick up a hitch hiker he's a multi millionaire scotsman armed with a duffel bag and a thick ruffled voice!

Check the bag, tellus whats in it then hand it in. Everyone's happy!

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...


Taniwhamember
138 posts
Location: Aotearoa


Posted:
So Magnus... whats was in the bag

Old 1s are always the best, but i got a true 1.

Was recently @ a Ta Moko exibition, (Traditional Tatoo) and this ol guy was there, watching my bro getting done. Anyway, he says "I wanna get a Ure Moko" thats like his agggh... Package. And the boys look sideways at him and he says "But they did'nt have enough ink!!!"

Its all just smoke and mirrors


AdeSILVER Member
Are we there yet?
1,897 posts
Location: australia


Posted:
magnus - what if the bag could help solve a mystery?

Would you open it, hand it in to the cops, or do nothing?

ade

DaiTenshimember
104 posts
Location: Stillwater, OK


Posted:
I bet it was a sample of monkey pox.

No one knows me like I do.


KajiQuantum Theorist
564 posts
Location: Vansterdam


Posted:
look in the bag look in the bag look in the baglook in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag look in the bag LOOK IN THE BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND FOR F*CKS SAKES TELL US WHATS IN IT!!!!!!!!

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.


KillaHill_10304member
17 posts
Location: sheffield


Posted:
hahahahahah whats in the bag we need to know what is in the ****in bag open it go on open it

don't worry we'll soon all go back to the gases


Matthew B-MLemon-Aware Devilstick-wielding Operative
605 posts
Location: East London Wilds


Posted:
The replies in this thread have just made me laugh. polythene has the right idea. I did wonder at the beginning, but given that it's Marcus, I'm pretty much on polythene's side...

Luv 'n' Lemons
purity :: clarity :: balance


tadpoleGOLD Member
enthusiast
200 posts
Location: Harare, Zimbabwe, United Kingdom


Posted:
I reckon there's another bag inside the bag...

Don't worry, be happy...


_VT_SILVER Member
Your Face!
1,173 posts
Location: el paso, tx, USA


Posted:
I rekon people need to read the entire thread before goin' on about "open the bag" cause he already said #1!"It's none of your f***in' business." and #2 that this hole thread was a joke.

Now to pull the stick out of me bum. exuse me for a sec.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!
-Albert Einstein-

Peanut butter... It fills the cracks of the soul! -Paul Blart-


colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
anyone seen castaway?
or se7en?

two mystery boxes - one with a sail and one with a head.

i reckon magnus' bag has got more of that stuff what was in the suitcase in pulp fiction.

it's called 'lazy mystique' and is a favourite tool of authors with writer's block everywhere.

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


Paddyback from the dead...sort of
884 posts
Location: 4341'N 7938'W


Posted:
quote:
Originally posted by coleman:
i reckon magnus' bag has got more of that stuff what was in the suitcase in pulp fiction.
...or maybe some stuff from the suitcase in Ronin?

Magnusmember
279 posts
Location: Bath, UK


Posted:
MBM: Who the hell is Marcus??

Magnus... pay it forward


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,979 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
I don't think Charles and Jesus have ever been seen in the same room!
:gasps:

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


DentrassiGOLD Member
ZORT!
3,044 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia


Posted:
this thread reminds me of the video clip for the radiohead song 'just,' which features a man lying in the middle of a footpath, and a growing crowd persuading and finally shouting (via subtitles) at him to tell them why he is lying down on a footpath, and him repeatedly replying 'i cant tell you.' at the end, he agrees to tell them what it is (the subtitles disappear so you cant tell what he says), and at the end the entire crowd is also lying on the ground just as he is.

i just read over this and realised that anyone who has not seen this video really has no idea what i am talking about, so ill stop now.

cheers.

"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.


Narr(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step


Posted:
sorry charles agree with everyone else to open the bag you never know something really cool could be in it like lite saber(sorry am a girl and haven't watched star wars enough to learn the right spelling!!)or a hover board!but as someone else said most likely some smelly socks and a decapitated head!

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*


telicI don't want a title.
940 posts

Posted:
Don't open the bag. That way, we can all spend the rest of our lives imagining the contents to be Most Important.

E pluribus unum, baby.


Page: