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Forums > Social Chat > Why does this shit happen to me

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Location: Australia
Member Since: 12th Mar 2003
Total posts: 254
Posted:last night went out
had a great night...1 of the best ever
caught up with a girl who i have kissed on other occasions before
we hit it off like theres no tomorrow
i finally worked up the courage to EVENTUALLY ask her out *meaning today*
and i find out she has a bf
this girl was sooooo good...cute as all hell...fun...funny...and of course she's taken
the bitch of a thing is that i told her i was gonna ask her out and she told me that she would go out with me if she wasnt going out with someone already

does that last line sound like a nice way of letting me down or genuine? i wish i had her though...:-(

If life was a ball of fire...i would be the poi sustaining it

Location: Australia
Member Since: 12th Mar 2003
Total posts: 254
Posted:i will reply myself so it doesnt look sooooo pittyful

If life was a ball of fire...i would be the poi sustaining it

back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2002
Total posts: 884
Posted:Yo Ba^ex, check your PMs.


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK
Member Since: 19th Dec 2001
Total posts: 3009
Posted:Why does this shit happen to me?
Sorry to shatter the illusion mate, but this shit happens to everyone. This is life, and if it was all easy then it wouldn't be as exciting as it is!

My advice: have the boyfriend kidnapped and shipped off to the depths of the deepest, darkest rainforest you can find.


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Berlin
Member Since: 25th Sep 2002
Total posts: 2617
Posted:Agreed there Dom. Don't take anything from that last line. It could mean absolutely annnything. Especially considering it's a woman who said it (eeep sorry *DSS runs off to hide*).

Just keep doing what ever it is you're doing. Expect nothing, try and force nothing and see where you end up. Maybe she has loads of gorgeous friends.

I live in a world of infinite possibilities.

Location: Oceanside, CA USA
Member Since: 30th Aug 2001
Total posts: 187
Posted:ok and this doesnt happen to females!
girls go through this all the time,only in reverse: When they have a crush on a guy for a looong time and they think that they could never get him so they lower their standards and go out with someone else, come to find out a year later and still together that the guy she had a crush on actually liked her as well,but the girl doesnt want to break up with her current because things are going so well. see it all the time.
This actually does happen though ba^ex,
I dont think that is a way of letting you down, its just a way of saying that she sees that you like her and she doesnt want you to get too emotionally involved and hurt you more.
Or it might just be a way to let you down because I have done that before, I have told a guy that i have a bf or that im married when i actually dont, to make him go away.
believe me, i wish i had alot of guys that i said no to in the past because now they are all hotties. If she does like you she will realize what she is missing and kick the current guy to the curb or come back to you and say that she never had a bf.
am i confusing you yet... im confusing myself

just keep your head up... the right girl for you is out there, it might not be this one but there are many many many girls in the world, dont stress over just one...i know how it feels to have a
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hope this helps

Non-Https Image Link

Its not easy being green....

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Try this:

I was in a gay bar, met a really cute guy, spent about a half hour flirting with him, only to find out that he's straight and was just with friends in the bar.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


Location: Berkshire, UK
Member Since: 2nd Apr 2003
Total posts: 1576
Posted:Shit things happen and trust me loads have happened to me but many other people too. Just bare in mind that shit might happen, its inevitable, but it makes you appreciate the better things when they happen.

Location: Australia
Member Since: 10th May 2002
Total posts: 340
Posted:If you do respect this girl its not cool to try and seduce her away from her bf. Not only are you creating destructive energy between two people but if she does dump him for you then you will never feel safe in the relationship cause she could potentially do the same thing to you at any second.

I have the same thing with the most amazing girl I've ever met. She's a first year law student who is a phenominal pianist/flauntist/violinist/guitarist/singer (sp) (ie a musical genius), she has the most intelligent, sharp, witty mind I've ever encountered, she used to be a gymnist that trained at an olymipic level until she injured her wrist and ontop of it all is one of the most compassionate, kind, non-judgemental and modest people I've ever known. Plus she is drop dead gorgeous! Yep you guessed it she's got a boyfriend! BUT she only gets to see her boyfriend about once a week while I'm able to see her like 5 times a week if I wanted to, soooooo the problem lies in the fact that she is also very attracted to me. Now I'm left with the choice of putting energy into a close friendship with her potentially creating destructive energy between her and her boyfriend, OR making it clear to her that I can only have a distant friendship with her as I love her too much to cause destructive energy between her and the guy she loves the most.

What makes me want her even more is that it doesnt matter how attracted she is to me, I know she will not let herself leave her boyfriend as a result of that attraction cause she is too much of a loyal person. grrrrrrr life loves to give me these frustrating (empowering) choices to make!

step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.


just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 12th Jun 2003
Total posts: 2474
Posted:Ba^eX some advise for you, (this is really ****ed up but its just the way things are) the more into a girl you are and the more you try to impress her/make yourself available to spend time with her etc etc the less she will like you (assuming there is initial chemistry there to start with) the reason being its all to easy for her, there is no challenge no thrill of having to make yourself wantable to be persued. think about it how much do u appriciate something if its handed to you as opposed to when you have to work for it. you will most likely find that the harder she chases you the less appealing she will appear (its that whole primal thrill of the hunt thing) as with everything u need a nice balence

at the same time you have to be a gent and all that cos well yeah u know (even though some girls really like being treated like dirt u dont want one of them). everyone (well almost) feels the need for approval and if you give that some of the time not all of the time it will make her crave your approval.

if you have kissed her and hit it off like there is no tommorow (which is an appropriate phrase) you need to act in the moment as it is the then and there that the feelings are, if you wait for the next day the moment may have passed (also acting in moment makes you dominant taking what you want etc which appeals to the primal side of the girl)

as to whether she was letting you down nicely or is genuine is really hard to say without knowing more about what sort of person she is, how it happened what sort of moments you have shared etc. regardless if you really like her next time you are in a situation like that act on it dont let it pass you by

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?


HOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
Location: Canterbury, UK
Member Since: 5th Nov 2002
Total posts: 1079
Posted:ok, dude

shit happens to us all, its just that we are fire spinners, thats why its US, cuz i no wot u mean, neva happens to my mates.

but there are plenty more turds in the bog, so chin up

PS no one is above your league, i fancied this girl for ages, kept seeing her at various clubs, but i thought "out of league... leave it"
Then someone introduced us, soi had reason to chat n flirt, and before u no it...

X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:lol@turds in the bog..

you're so right...girls do smell..

G star 72
Location: nottingham england
Member Since: 18th Jun 2003
Total posts: 13
Posted:I went out with a girl a few years ago because I had told her I fancied her but she was with a guy I knew well so she dummped him to be with me, about 1 year later I find out she was with some guy while I was serving in Northern Ireland. Karma......what goes around comes around