Forums > Social Chat > what price peace of mind... (career advice)

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SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:K guys, I need advice

it goes like this. People who have known me for a while will know that last year I made some pretty momentous changes in my life. I decided, after having an experience with a particular job/boss that almost drove me mad, that I never wanted to work a full time job again. Instead, I decided to follow my passion, training. I completed my cert IV in training and workplace assessment, and sought casual training work.

One of the things I am doing, is working for a small company providing training in Business Administration to their students. The company sucks, they are disorganised, patronising to their students, their previous trainer stuffed them all around, and the students are right royally peeved with the whole situation. But for me it is steady work, and a lot of experience.


They are thinking about offering me a job full time there. It would be part training, part training admin. I have got the gut feeling that it would drive me mad. The boss is a knob, and the place is so poorly run I couldn't achieve anything in that role.

So my questions are:

1. How do I tell my boss no to the job offer without saying "you couldn't pay me enough to take this job" or "I wouldn't work full time for a knob like you in a million years"?

2. Has anyone else had to choose between their sanity and a large wad of cash, in their careers?

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Location: Bath, UK

Total posts: 279
Posted:Listen to your intuition.

1) Just say the job wouldn't fit with your lifestyle at this time. You can give 110% to the part time work, but you wouldn't feel able to do that for the full time job.

2) Yes. I chose my sanity and a medium wad of cash.

If you want more money, take the skills that are really core to your soul, and use those.

Magnus... pay it forward


BRONZE Member since Dec 2000


Location: London, Wales (UK)

Total posts: 2211
Posted:Well my choice at the moment is lose my insanity or lose a roof over my head. Warm, dry and insane seems to be working and I have enough free time to keep me sane and plans for escape.

Good advice from Magnus - if you take the full-time offer, it will be far too difficult for you to back. You may in the future be offered something that really appeals. This is not what you want, so don't settle for less

Good luck sweetie

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


DIAMOND Member since Nov 2001


The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2523
Posted:eh up Rozi

I thinks...

Money is nothing, zero, zip, worthless
its not about money,
work for your dreams and your love.
Always go for the sanity/ happiness option
If you look after the world, it will look after you. Then you can jump and a safety net will always appear.

As for how to tell him. Just be positive about the company, and make the reason seem internal to you....
How about that you don't want to be tied down to working full time for one company at the moment, it not how you like to work, you tend to feel claustrophobic*.

*the use of long words is always good in these situations, like Marmalade.

Good luck


SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Thanks guys.

Its funny, it was only after I decided not to work full time that I started getting the job offers!!! I have a whole guilt thing around not being in a full time job for a while. As both my parents have always worked full time, I had somehow formed the impression that that was what was important in the world. You had to have a full time job to be making an effort. I also at a certain level believed that my parents would be disappointed in me if I didn't work full time. And it is amazing how strong an influence you perception of parental disapproval is, even when you have left home!!!

Fortunately I have discovered that I am wrong on both counts. There is a lot more to life than your job, and your job doesn't have to fit a set pattern to be important. And my parents are not disappointed in me. Only last night I spoke to my mum who agreed wholeheartedly that accepting this job would be the wrong thing.

I made a conscious decision a year ago now, but I am still dealing with it and coming to accept it at an unconscious level.

[ 20. June 2003, 14:03: Message edited by: Rozi ]

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...



Location: Sydney Australia

Total posts: 150
Posted:Wishing I had the guts to chuck my job in......

People take different roads seeking fulfillment & happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.-H. Jackson Browne


BRONZE Member since Dec 2001


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009

A few years ago I ran the day to day runnings of a small web firm. The MD was a wanker. We didn't get on at all and we endlessly clashed. I was unhappy and needed to leave. When I handed my notice in he started offering me 5 figure sums and shares in the company to stay. I told him, to his face, it was so necesary for me to leave that no amount of money would make me stay and I didn't even have a job to move on to.

You spend a lot of time at your job, and if it's dragging you down then your entire life suffers, and it's not worth it.


flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Rozi.... you already know what you want to do. Re-read your initial post from a slightly detached POV and you'll see what I mean.

I sacrificed a cushty job, fat paypacket and nice car for the sake of staying true to myself. I love it!

I know you well enough to guage the potential frustration you would experience. It's not worth it in the long term, but perhaps consider taking advantage of the system for a little while for some financial gain?? You don't have to commit your entire future to this option you now have; you can just do what you need to do for 6 months/a year then continue to reach for the stars!!

hope that made sense; I've OD'd on caffeine.

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SILVER Member since Jul 2001


Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom

Total posts: 15965
Posted:Could be worse. You could be packing apples surrounded by a bunch of mental invertebrates in a desperate attempt to raise some capital.

Not that that's happened to anyone round here (nope, nope, nope)....

*contrives to tiptoe away. But trips over a cardboard box filled will apples and stumbles off stage left*

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
" a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean