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Forums > Social Discussion > Learning not to love yourself?

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Returning to a unique state of Equilibrium
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Member Since: 10th Jan 2001
Total posts: 3288
Posted:reading the 'Learning to Love yourself' thread reminded me of a friend who is pretty much attempting the opposite.

a lot of people these days are pretty self-obsessed, and seem to think they are worthy of being treated like royalty, when really, they havent done anything to earn such treatment, and are potentially full of faults, in how they treat people, how they treat themselves and how they treat the environment etc etc.

I have a friend who is working towards 'complete destruction of ego' which I interpret to mean, complete removal of emotional attachment to the things that you love about yourself.

In the end, how can you improve yourself without first dismissing the idea that you are perfect just the way you are? I know I certainly have my faults, but does concentrating on my strengths mean I wont get round to doing anything about my faults - and so therefore I'll never get round to improving how I am?

Or, is it all steps on the same road - ie recognise that you have worth (Learn to love yourself), then recognise your faults (Learn to love some parts of your personality, and dislike others), remove your attachment to your personality, reshape in ways that you think you would like to be.

I believe there is an increasing level of courage between all these steps - ie it requires courage to believe you have worth, it requires more courage to realise you really arent perfect, more courage is required to let go of what you are attached to, and attempt to move toward what you would like to be?

does this make any sense? I'm not suggesting its right - just an alternate pov perhaps.


Help! My personality got stuck in this signature machine and I cant get it out!


Teacher, Dancer, Artist, and General Smartass
Location: Portland, OR
Member Since: 29th Jan 2005
Total posts: 149
Posted:I totally think many people could use a lesson in keeping their ego in check, and I agree that any process like this will need a lot of courage, and that everyone takes different paths to self improvement.

It seems to me that removing your emotional attachment to your qualities could make you very, very depressed. I see the benefit to staying humble enough to not be prideful, but I don't see how ignoring or dismissing your qualities and talents and the things that make you unique will bring you closer to happiness.

It's never occured to me that loving yourself required being perfect. Moreso, I'm with Stone on this, I don't think that loving yourself automatically negates self-improvement.

And if you don't love yourself, do you hate yourself? Or are you just ambivalent? If you hate yourself, you probably don't feel you have any worth, so improvement is a steep, scary climb. And if you're ambivalent about yourself, then, well, why bother?

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