Can I have feedback on my personal statement?

NOTE: what they are looking for:

Presented with information and ideas in a focused, in-depth, thoughtful, and meaningful manner.

Supported ideas with specific examples.

Include information on my personal qualities such as leadership abilities, self-discipline, tenacity, maturation, commitment to others.

Show meaningful participation – not just a list– in activities that have enriched your education.

I need to be "unique"

Describe your experiences as a leader, the type of person who makes things happen, a catalyst who motivates others, who initiates something that meets a perceived need.

THE QUESTION:

What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

MY ANSWER:

My proposed major is philosophy, which is also known as the study of argumentation. My interest in the subject was discovered through a personal enlightenment. One day, a thought struck me an I began to question the value of every subject in school from business to the natural sciences. I was searching for the major that would be perfect for me. Through all of this questioning, I realized that there was almost no value in the subjects themselves, but in the reasoning behind the use of the subject. For example, what is the point of knowing thousands of different mathematical formulas if there is way to use them? The “way” to use them is determined by philosophy. Philosophy is at the root of every subject. The answer to why we study every subject is a philosophical question. From this point on, I became very interested in the subject, using philosophical theories to discover the reasoning behind numerous inventions and places. What fascinates me most about philosophy is that it is the only subject that matters, and every other subject is considered minor details.
As my interest in philosophy progressed, I came to the conclusion that my thinking and ideas could only extend so far through contemplation alone. I had to take further action. I needed an outside source to fill the gaps in my thinking and to combine my ideas with others to make even greater ideas. I first gathered a meeting with a group of my philosopher companions. Together, we founded a weekly event called “We the People.” At these meetings, up to a hundred people came to share philosophical and social concerns through lectures, poetry, and music. These meetings ended up being a success and are still happening today. Later that year I realized that these meetings were not enough. I needed something to take my mind deeper, and I wanted to take my thinking to an even deeper level than I had before. In order to solve this problem, the solution was to have annual philosophy meetings at my house twice a month. We usually called these “philosophy parties.” A small group of philosophers met at my home, and we talked. These annual gatherings were not consisting of small talk. We took almost every serious philosophical issue we could find, and analyzed it not only to the bone, to the slimy, decaying bacteria underneath the calcium which made up the bone.
From the first day of my epiphany to the most recent philosophy party, I have gained ideas and perspectives beyond what I had imagined and I am a completely different person. This subject has completely changed my life, and I feel like majoring in any other subject would be an almost complete waste of time as long as the subject of philosophy is available for study. I yearn for more knowledge and truth about the world which I expect to receive at my four year institution.

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