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Forums > Social Chat > Some things in hindsight

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M33k0
BRONZE Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: Denver, Colorado

Total posts: 78
Posted:So things have been absolutly crazy in my life lately, but something happened Sunday that made me realize that through it all... the pain is worth it. Through the pain is happiness smile



Sunday was the anniversary of my friends death, and all of his friends went to his grave and met up with his family. We read poems, we ate food at his parents restaurant, we cried, we laughed, and we talked about the beautiful person we were blessed to meet.



But then on Sunday night we went to his grave and spun glowsticks for him. No music was playing, we danced for him, beside him, and I know with him. His family was smiling, we were all smiling. I stopped for a moment and thought... this is exactly what Taustin would have wanted. He would have wanted us to dance at his grave and celebrate life with us. I am so blessed to have known him, and dancing at night, beside his grave is a moment I will always cherish for the rest of my life. We took a group picture of us at his grave... and for once, our group was whole again. It didnt matter if Taustin was gone... because for that moment he was there with us and all of us were smiling.



So all this crap in my life I have been going through, I am just so happy to experience the highs in life. It makes the crap worthwhile. Dancing and doing poi and finishing school and hugging my daughter makes everything worthwhile.



Cherish life... it can sometimes slip away from us but we have to grab it when we realize the moments that are precious to us.



But in other news... doing poi at his grave made me realize how much I really, really want to spin fire in memory of Taustin. Im getting better at poi but never spun fire. But I have no money.... damn you hospital bills... damn you! I need to scrape up some money soon to get me some fire poi though smile



I LOVE YOU ALL! **hug**

EDITED_BY: M33k0 (1172736908)


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Brenn
PLATINUM Member since Jun 2004

Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 3286
Posted:M33ko, reading your post moved me to tears, but good ones, as I empathise with your situation and reflections on this milestone in life completely.



As of writing I am less than two weeks away to my late brother's anniversary, and I plan on visiting his resting place on that day: the 14th of March. For some time I have entertained the thought of dancing with fire for him, and to spend that day doing the things that I love and hold dear to me within his presence. I know he would not want me to grieve and be sad on these days, but to remember the good times that we all had with him



Through the loss of something so great I have learnt many things since he passed away almost four years prior, and it has made me the person who I am today: And I would not change it for anything in the world. Your losses in life have been grave, but know that you do not walk alone, M33ko.



My condolences and blessings to you and your loved ones. I am with you during this turbulent time. hug


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy

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M33k0
BRONZE Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: Denver, Colorado

Total posts: 78
Posted:The same goes to you smile I couldnt imagine losing a sibling. But I guess it almost doesn't matter... our friends are family and our family are friends. So in a way all those who I have lost are brothers/sisters in some way.

I just never imagined that dancing at a grave would make me feel so whole again. It is pure happiness to dance and think of the one I love and be happy just because I knew him. There is pictures of him spinning poi on his grave, and it makes me smile because it makes his grave that much more special smile

Some pictures to show you our little get together:

This is a part of a poem he wrote about the scene. And you can see his pictures on his grave smile

Non-Https Image Link


And here is our group... and that is me in the blue hat. He is buried right next to his Uncle.

Non-Https Image Link


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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:goosebumps all over...

A moment spent in truth - is a moment spent in bliss and beauty.

Cherish every moment and cherish it even more, if you were lucky enough to spend it with special people, you can call "friends".

Thanks for the reminder, Jen... I wish you all the best, love, strength and support... hug


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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M33k0
BRONZE Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: Denver, Colorado

Total posts: 78
Posted:Thank you so much smileLove, strength, and support is what we all need right now but we are getting it... through ourselves and our friends. That moment was def. a moment full of bliss and beauty. I never imagined I would have moments like those in times of sadness. But that moment made me realize so much about life and love and just knowing what an amazing person Taust was.

And now I am trying to decide on a tattoo for him... im finally in a place of my life that will allow me to get a tattoo to celebrate him, but im not sure on what design to get. It will come though smile


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E_V_I_L


E_V_I_L

Mosh-mosh-mosh-mosh.
Location: Midlands

Total posts: 346
Posted:Glad you've found the good memories of him and can focus on them rather than anything else.

Also - just to say, Taustin, that is a very cool name. Never heard it before.

The verse in the first pic - love that. Don't know why, just do.

P.L.U.R.


Xbox360 Live ID - Sacred Apollyon

"Enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you destroy make graves."

"Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished: If your alive it isn't."

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:Wow... I am also nearly moved to tears, in a good way. It is really touching, the way you all chose to honour him in that way.

I lost an uncle quite a few years ago now, I just wanted to share with you the words on his gravestone:

'To live for Today and love for Tomorrow is the wisdom of a fool... Tomorrow is promised to no-one.'

hug Much respect to you all.


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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E_V_I_L


E_V_I_L

Mosh-mosh-mosh-mosh.
Location: Midlands

Total posts: 346
Posted:My mate Pete was cremated to the words of his email signiture (He kept in touch with a lot of people by email and everyone knew the words)

"A kiss, I am cold, close your eyes, give me your soul."

They're lyrics from a band he liked.


Xbox360 Live ID - Sacred Apollyon

"Enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you destroy make graves."

"Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished: If your alive it isn't."

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M33k0
BRONZE Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: Denver, Colorado

Total posts: 78
Posted:If you liked the words on Taustins headstone I'll post the rest of the poem... need to dig the rest of the lines up somewhere but when I find them I'll post them smile It's a beautiful poem.

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E_V_I_L


E_V_I_L

Mosh-mosh-mosh-mosh.
Location: Midlands

Total posts: 346
Posted:Please, it's not very often that I like much poetry, but they just caught my attention.

Xbox360 Live ID - Sacred Apollyon

"Enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you destroy make graves."

"Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished: If your alive it isn't."

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