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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:
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As it's nearly that time of year, (Jesus's birthday) I drew a nice birthday card for him. Perhaps we should all celebrate Jesus and draw some nice pictures.
oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingd...

Total posts: 7263
Posted:Written by: jo_rhymes

oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.



ubblol ubblol





Happy Birthday Jesus! In the happy (ahem) spirit of things I searched the interweb for a joke I thought you might like. If it offends you Jesus please write me a pm and I'll edit the post biggrin

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying.
Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!"
So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons.
The roman guard can't believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm.
Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsly croaks, "Peter, please, come to me!"
By now, the roman gurad is tire of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be.
The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you)and after hours he arrives at his Lord's side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, Lord. What is it!"
Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"

ubblol


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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Sym
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

Sym

Geek-enviro-hippy priest
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1858
Posted:I'm not?! Oh, damn frown

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:hahahahahahaha ubblol

in the doubt jesus even existed i find this joke the funnyest i have heard in ages hehehe


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thegreatBJ


Woman! Not gay Man!
Location: Hull...ish

Total posts: 332
Posted:isnt he supposed to have actually been born in june or something?

I AM NOT A GAY MAN!

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Sorry Sym,
just because you have long hair and a beard doesnt make you the messiah. I keep telling you this.
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:
Non-Https Image Link


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:Written by: jo_rhymes

Sorry Sym,
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...




has this just answered my questions about christ???


*starts singing*

"I am the anti-christ............and i am an anorchist!!!! don't know what i want, but i know how to get it, i wanna DESTROY" lalalalalala


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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Despite anyones beliefs this is a happy post in social chat, so lets not get into a discussion about the validity of Jesus's existence and just wish the hippy Happy Birthday bounce

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:happy birthday hippy tongue

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:yay!!
cheers Will!!
Lets all sing Jesus happy birthday! woooo!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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the_poier
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

the 1337 poier
Location: england

Total posts: 346
Posted:smile he was supposed to be born in july smile hehe that joke is funny...

ive got a fuzzbox and im not afraid to use it
R.I.P. gayfest

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere..., ...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:
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"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:dress 'im up! biggrin

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:
Non-Https Image Link

He SURE does!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Boo_Bunny
BRONZE Member since Mar 2005

Boo_Bunny

Sparkely arty Mormon rainbow fairy
Location: infront of you, United Kingdom

Total posts: 933
Posted:Happy Birthday Jesus!




Non-Https Image Link

EDITED_BY: Boo_Bunny (1135195422)


Property of Fine_Rabid_Dog

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VampyricAcid
SILVER Member since Jun 2005

VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1286
Posted:lol you're around 3 months late tongue

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:do you recon Jesus would want this this for christmas / birthday present

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:ooh! I have a jesus action figure!!!! it winds up and it moves along with its arms going up and down!!!

To whoever said it, yes, I think Jesus ws actually born in June but they changed the date to December 25th...summer solstice, anyone?

also, i have another joke for you, but bare with me cos i'm TERRIBLE at re-telling jokes.



Jesus and some of his disciples were walking up a mountain one day with a nice little picnic of bread and fish planned. But as they were walking up the hill, Jesus turned to Peter and said
"hey, Peter, there's all these people following us"
But Peter just said, "Just keep walking Jesus"
But then the crowd kept growing larger and larger, so Jesus turned to Matthew and said "Matthew, that crowd just keeps getting bigger and bigger, what are we going to do?"
And Matthew calmly replied, "Just keep going Jesus."
They finally reached the top of the hill, set their picnic down when Jesus turned around, threw his arms in the air and said "Hello my friends! There is enough bread and fish for all of you!"
But then Peter yelled, "Jesus! Sit down! you're drunk!"


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:lol thats great!!! hahaha
I think Jesus will bring us loads of presents this year for celebrating his birthday so well!!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingd...

Total posts: 7263
Posted:You're never going to beleive this....last night Jebus actually called my phone and spoke to me!! Oh no hang on, that was Sym rolleyes

Let's relight this forum ubblove

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:hahaha, Well Dunc, I speak to Jesus EVERYDAY!! In fact, Jesus tells me he loves me all the time!!!
..shazbat, that's Sym too ubbloco


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:btw ..who's Jebus?

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingd...

Total posts: 7263
Posted:Jebus Christ Superstar biggrin

Let's relight this forum ubblove

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:JESUS CHRIST ACTION FIGURE PLAY SET!!!

Watch the advert! woo! ubblol
hahahahaha


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:I thought that he was born in March.

I mean, why would shepherds be watching their flocks in December?


-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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Sym
BRONZE Member since Sep 2004

Sym

Geek-enviro-hippy priest
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1858
Posted:The Mediterranean is warm enough in December for sheep to be outside. There is no reason why they couldn't have done that on the 25th, also the grass is quite green unlike the summer, so it's a very good time to graze.

Anyway, thats not the point - we're here to say happy birthday - theres no reason why we need to say it on time to someone whos been dead for 2000 years... wink


There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees

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VampyricAcid
SILVER Member since Jun 2005

VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1286
Posted:its september (hence 3 months late), it was moved to coincide with the pagan Yule (yule log, yuletide greetings anyone?) which although is now pretty much taken as the 21st/22nd now, it used to be based around the lunar calendar

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:jees was born earlier, but roman catholic mixed his b-day with the "light-festival" or winter-eclipse of nothern europe... rolleyes but it's the intent that counts!

---lays head in back and starts swingin it from right to left, grins and goes: haaaappy b'day to ya! haaappy b'day!---


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:I like Jesus, not only did he heal people, but he was sexy too.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:sexy if you like long beards.

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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