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Forums > Social Chat > Happy Birthday Jesus
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As it's nearly that time of year, (Jesus's birthday) I drew a nice birthday card for him. Perhaps we should all celebrate Jesus and draw some nice pictures.
oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.
Happy Birthday Jesus! In the happy (ahem) spirit of things I searched the interweb for a joke I thought you might like. If it offends you Jesus please write me a pm and I'll edit the post
Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying.
Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!"
So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons.
The roman guard can't believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm.
Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsly croaks, "Peter, please, come to me!"
By now, the roman gurad is tire of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be.
The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you)and after hours he arrives at his Lord's side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, Lord. What is it!"
Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Let's relight this forum 
in the doubt jesus even existed i find this joke the funnyest i have heard in ages hehehe
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just because you have long hair and a beard doesnt make you the messiah. I keep telling you this.
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteSorry Sym,
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...
has this just answered my questions about christ???
*starts singing*
"I am the anti-christ............and i am an anorchist!!!! don't know what i want, but i know how to get it, i wanna DESTROY" lalalalalala
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GOLD Member since Aug 2004
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
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An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
cheers Will!!
Lets all sing Jesus happy birthday! woooo!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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he was supposed to be born in july hehe that joke is funny...ive got a fuzzbox and im not afraid to use it
R.I.P. gayfest
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003
remembers when it was all fields round here
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Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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He SURE does!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteBRONZE Member since Mar 2017
Sparkely arty Mormon rainbow fairy
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A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.
DeleteBRONZE Member since Jul 2003
Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
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To whoever said it, yes, I think Jesus ws actually born in June but they changed the date to December 25th...summer solstice, anyone?
also, i have another joke for you, but bare with me cos i'm TERRIBLE at re-telling jokes.
Jesus and some of his disciples were walking up a mountain one day with a nice little picnic of bread and fish planned. But as they were walking up the hill, Jesus turned to Peter and said
"hey, Peter, there's all these people following us"
But Peter just said, "Just keep walking Jesus"
But then the crowd kept growing larger and larger, so Jesus turned to Matthew and said "Matthew, that crowd just keeps getting bigger and bigger, what are we going to do?"
And Matthew calmly replied, "Just keep going Jesus."
They finally reached the top of the hill, set their picnic down when Jesus turned around, threw his arms in the air and said "Hello my friends! There is enough bread and fish for all of you!"
But then Peter yelled, "Jesus! Sit down! you're drunk!"
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
I think Jesus will bring us loads of presents this year for celebrating his birthday so well!!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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Let's relight this forum
..shazbat, that's Sym too
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteHoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteWatch the advert! woo!
hahahahaha
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteSILVER Member since Dec 2004
Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA
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I mean, why would shepherds be watching their flocks in December?
-James
"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"
Anyway, thats not the point - we're here to say happy birthday - theres no reason why we need to say it on time to someone whos been dead for 2000 years...
There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees
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Are You Sniffing My Mitten?
but it's the intent that counts!---lays head in back and starts swingin it from right to left, grins and goes: haaaappy b'day to ya! haaappy b'day!---
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
DeleteBRONZE Member since Jul 2003
Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Total posts: 13215
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
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