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Forums > Social Chat > the funniest thing you've heard recently???

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:mine (and I know people aren't gonna find this funny coz out of context )
was:
it's not blu its aqua marine...

her voice was sooo funny and it made me laugh for the first time in ages..
so what funny thing have you heard recently???


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:Someone in my office just said to me, in that very clueless but very genuin way..


''Wow..youre like, really really smart..''

(ok peeps, its not the fact that she thinks I'm smart that I found funny, it was the way she said it...)

I just burst out laughing and agreed with her... ubblol


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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ilsanya


ilsanya

manic over a fence
Location: Tas, Aus

Total posts: 798
Posted:i heard the best joke the other day:



why couldn't the bird fly?

it was under a rock!!!



i laughed for ages over that one! ubblol

thankyou FSA hug


Quid Pro Quo
5|>00|\|5 /-\|^3 <00|!

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JonnyRok
BRONZE Member since May 2005

JonnyRok

Look! I'm Darth Bunny!
Location: Sunny South Africa

Total posts: 446
Posted:Christmas was cancelled this year, FATHER CHRISTMAS heard that you had been good this year, and died laughing!

Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo ho fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

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Fyre
BRONZE Member since Oct 2005

Fyre

enthusiast
Location: Finland

Total posts: 315
Posted:This is a scene from Friends that cracked me up:
Girl (to Chandler): wow.... you have really nice hair
Chandler: Thanks, yeah i grow it myself

but once again, it would be alot better if you saw the scene yourself.


If we can`t live in peace then fu*k it, let`s die.
The owner of Chellybeans right arm!


Peace -Fyre-

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JonnyRok
BRONZE Member since May 2005

JonnyRok

Look! I'm Darth Bunny!
Location: Sunny South Africa

Total posts: 446
Posted:Joke i heard today:

A husband and wife go out for the evening. The last thing they do before they leave is put the cat out but as the husband is closing the door the cat runs back in so he goes in after it. The wife, not wanting anyone to know that the house is empty tells the taxi driver that he is just going in to say goodbye to his mother upstairs. The husband comes out with the cat, locks up, gets into the taxi and says "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out."


Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Yo ho fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

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Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:I have seen the cat thing preceded by this:

From a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!

6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


everyone's unique except me

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:FLUSH!

Anyone seen Lilo and Stitch2?

Lilo:next time, flush the evidence
Stitch: flush

How many times must I flush before you go away!!??


Flush!


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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baby_Lee
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

baby_Lee

RUBBISH!!
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1443
Posted:Flush flush ubblol

Colourful but not very bright.

Blu_valley: oh, and thats the only place where you get the ability to multiple-orgasm Baby Lee...the only place in the universe.

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:Forky Pokey promise?

ubblol

ROFLMFAO

2 for flinching!!!!!


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:funniest thing I've heard recently:
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Europe!

Europe Who??

NO!! You're a poo!!

ubblol love it


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Written by: Mynci

Forky Pokey promise?

ubblol

ROFLMFAO

2 for flinching!!!!!


STILL makes me giggle
ubblol

*my 2yr old son, in the bath.....*

Oh no......it's raining again!

(Sooooo bloody cute)


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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:" ring, ring, ring, banana phone"




nuff said tongue


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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:The new pot noodle ad

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:That I'm a horrible mummy and our house is so boring, and that I'm hated, and that I dont love my daughter, and that she never gets anything nice - all through the medium of "shout"- by a 5yr old!

All I could do is laugh (either that or beat the sh*t into her on the school yard - which i wasn't gonna do. Til we were home anyway ubblol) lol

All this because I decided to stick by my guns and say no to her? frown


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:well done Tink, it's really hard to stick to your guns when whiney kids are involved, you did the right thing!! hooray!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:If you don't do what I tell you I'll kill Santa Clause lmao

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Was sitting in a 3D lesson the other day...we're all sitting around the table really quite...when all of the sudden, my friend Nick comes out with -

"I want to build fence.....arounda cow...really quietly...so it dosn't notice...then fill the space between the cow and the fence with wood...then set it on fire"

ubblol


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Fyre
BRONZE Member since Oct 2005

Fyre

enthusiast
Location: Finland

Total posts: 315
Posted: Written by: ilsanya



why couldn't the bird fly?
it was under a rock!!!

thankyou FSA hug



I actually told this to my bro`s girlfriend. she tought it was nice, then she asks me: "well why couldn`t the other bird fly?"
me: "dunno"
she: " because it`s feet were too heavy"
i laughed so hard at this one biggrin it`s jokes like these that crack me up the most.
now we have started to think more sequals to this joke, tho all that we have come up is : "why couldn`t the third bird fly".. " because the roof was too low!" biggrin


If we can`t live in peace then fu*k it, let`s die.
The owner of Chellybeans right arm!


Peace -Fyre-

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jaero
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

jaero

your new best enemy
Location: over the river, through the wo...

Total posts: 246
Posted:damn, I'm out of smokes. wait, here's one!!! sweet!!! I got a menthaahh... gross.

I'll get there too late if I shorten my stride, I'll get there too soon if I find me a ride, I'll never move forward if I try to hide this path that I've troden one step at a time.

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted: Written by: Pretz


Has anyone heard of the milk challenge?

to celebrate my milk loving friend's birthday we are undertaking the milk challenge.

basically you have to drink a gallon (8 pints) of milk . you cant spit it out but puking in to a bucket is allowed.

the person that finishes first gets a fiver off of everybody, the loser gets what ever is in the buckets poured over them.

for some reason i agreed to do this with 10 guys. all big strapping milk guzzling lads.

i know im going to lose! frown

anybody want to tell me how i am supposed to achieve this feat? or indeed to tell me how stupid i am for attempting it.

and yes...i am a student.




this made me giggle ubblol


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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Me "Old McDonald had a farm, ee aye, ee aye oh. And on that farm he had a.......!

My son "TRAIN! Ee aye, ee aye oh!"

News to me too!


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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Total posts: 3556
Posted:a man come into a bar and everyone is horrified because he has no legs
he smiles and says "don't worry, I'm armless"
and then gets embarassed because he realizes he got the joke wrong


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Mynci "I hate people who say "I'm black on the inside!""

Me "I know! They are red with entrails like the rest of us."


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Fyre
BRONZE Member since Oct 2005

Fyre

enthusiast
Location: Finland

Total posts: 315
Posted:Finland won eurovision!?

If we can`t live in peace then fu*k it, let`s die.
The owner of Chellybeans right arm!


Peace -Fyre-

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Page: 12

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