Forums > Social Chat > The Bad partner thread

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Not sure if one already exists and I'm too lazy to look!





My ex finished with me when I got too old for him! (I turned 17 and he was 27) Slightly perverted? YES!

(I was sleeping with my future husband behind his back anyway and don't regret a moment because, 4yrs later, we are still together. Comments and stories please......... biggrin

EDITED_BY: LilMissSmartyPants (1126277605)


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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:i've had rubbish boyfriends, the most recent of whom apologised to me after we split up for being such a twat..
which was nice of him (and really rather unexpected)

other than that i think they've gone on their way thinking that they are the perfect man...


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SNOOPoi


SNOOPoi

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: At the bottom of the garden wi...

Total posts: 3380
Posted:the first person i ever loved broke my heart so badly i thought it would never mend. i was only 14 at the time, and i thought i had loved people before and been heartbroken before. but at that moment when this guy hurt me it was like my whole world fell away. the worst thing was it was the day before valentines day. i went out with my mum and my grandparents and i had to keep running to the toilets so i could cry. looking around and seeing all those happy people was just too much for me. i didn't want them to be unhappy. i wanted to be happy myself. that was 2 years ago and now i can see this guy and talk to him. but every time i say good-bye it hurts like hell. i sometimes still cry about it. sometimes i feel lost coz he was the only guy i ever planned having a life with.

after this guy i found it really hard to trust guys again...

but i finally softened just before Christmas and i started seeing this great guy... i was falling in love with him fast... i was afraid he only saw it as something casual so i told him i loved him and that if he didn't love me too then i couldn't go on seeing him coz it was just gonna hurt me... and he dumped me there and then... on the day of my best friends funeral!

so for the last 6 months i have been really anti guys! but again i am softening to a really great guy... but we are taking things slow as i have been hurt before and he has never had a real relationship... i can see myself falling in love again but for the time being i am clinging on desperately just in case he doesn't feel the same...


THWACK!!!!
Liz_Ard: Ouch!
SNOOPoi: Thats just not the sound of someone doing it right!

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:I was a crap last night, was very stressed and told my girlfriend she didn't need me bringing her down. Found out that was the wrong thing to say coz now she thinks I don't want her which is absolutely crazy, coz she's amazing frown .
We men can be complete prats sometimes.


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Written by: Valura

Im not going to continue to give this thread energy because its a waste of time, I do however have one last thing to add.

Jon I have had an experience where my car window was smashed and I was threatened becasue of others saying I was *stirring* on Home Of Poi. This happened from someone who wasnt on this site at the time but knew people who were and wasnt a pleasant experience. (Due to the fact that what I had said was taken completely out of context and some of it was even embellished.) All this happened becasue of people who knew people. I learnt from this experience and was doing my best to impart some of the lesson I have learnt from it. Believe me stuff like that happens.



Thank you for trying to be helpful (in a very forceful way) ubblol and I do think it is apriciated by everyone who have read your posts. I realise what your point is and think that now everyone will be careful what is posted. I am sorry you feel the way you do through your experiences and hope you don't have to go through something as upsetting again. (See, I'm not a bitter cow!!! ubblol)
hug


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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:Written by: Mynci
We men can be complete prats sometimes.



we know..*hugs* you'd better be at my birthday spin young man!


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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Im crap at when it comes to partner things, my worst fault is once the honeymoon period runs out so do i, i wish i could fix it, i hate that about myself, self confessed biscuit head!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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screech


screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries

Total posts: 889
Posted:Written by: Mynci

I was a crap last night, was very stressed and told my girlfriend she didn't need me bringing her down. Found out that was the wrong thing to say coz now she thinks I don't want her which is absolutely crazy, coz she's amazing frown .
We men can be complete prats sometimes.



you dozy prat she's crazy bout you and she needs your support.

you really are a typical bloke speak first think later

anyways buddy hug hope you didn't upset her too much might see you tonight and if its any consolation i mess up like that with girls all the time too hug


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:had a chat today with my lady and she's cool, but thats what happens when you have no cash and you're told your losing your job.
so moral of this story - calm the heck down before you talk to your partner or things get worse.
And Screech.... she knows she's got my support all the way. (and ta for calling me a prat coz I am) wink


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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screech


screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries

Total posts: 889
Posted:who isn't i'm sure everyone acts like an idiot from time to time

can anyone answer me this why have my last 4 girlfriends slept with one of my mates within a week of us splitting up.

do they do it to make it hurt even more?
only one of them actually ended up going out with the bloke the others were just 1 offs


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Oh you poor thing! hug

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:is that a case of bad exs or bad friends though?
i'm not a subscriber to the 'my ex owes me something' ideal. once you're over you're over and theres unless the ex has morals similar to yours then theres nothing you can do to stop them sleeping with whoever they want.

friends of mine broke up after four years...the girl started seeing the one of the boys best friends and the boy is with someone in our circle of friends. it was awkward and sometimes still is but both couples have made their peace, are madly loved up and very happy. love works like that sometimes.


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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:would say you only fall for idiots but someone here might slap me. ubblol
I know how you feel screech... been there, and grown paranoid to the extreme and come out the other side....
Women can pull easier than men which is why men are such ass-holes all the time... we know it and can't stand the fact the a woman has that kind of hold over us. (most of us are more in love with our women than we either admitt or tell and we're just scared of losing them.)
You go girls .... but play nice. hug to all the nice girls


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:am i a nice girl?

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:Yes loz have a hug but you know I Love clare... (p.s. nice to see you last week)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:yay! i was asking for nothing more. i like hugs (you might have noticed when i leapt on you harhar). and i want to meet clare!

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Spiral


Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire

Total posts: 729
Posted:Bad partner thread, I find this really intriguing. I recently had the woman whom I was going to spend the rest of my life with throw her engagement ring at me, and tell me in a not so polite manner what a mess I'd made of her life, and i guess to an extent she was right....... But that didn't also stop her being a bad partner either. The more I think about it the happier I am we split up, but that still doesn't stop me being pretty devastated about the manner in which we split up.

Basically we had come to point where neither of us could provide the support and succor the other needed......

Though I guess mainly the fault laid with myself. I'd given up everything to be with this person, I'd moved, I hadn't seen my friends in years, I'd given up my lifestyle, and my social life - but I was under the impression that if was the person I was meant to be with, love would always find a way.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment I fell out of love with her, but it was a long time before we finally split. I still cared for her an awful lot, and I still do, I always will.

They always say that honesty is the best policy, and I won't argue with that. Maybe if I'd owned up to how I was feeling I wouldn't have lost one of my best friends.... I would have lost my partner, but she still would have been friends with me.

So I guess both of us are up for the prize of bad partner in this one, I did things I look back and am truly ashamed of (apart from cheating - thats something I've never done and never will do), but at the same time, she did things that really upset me, and she didn't realise.

I guess what I'm really saying is it takes 2 to tango, right?


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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:I've been trying to avoid this thread for as long as possible, but I just cant stay out of it anymore.

I've had my fair share of 'bad' boyfriends, although I will say that I have been other peoples fair share of 'bad' girlfriend. Mis-communication and fear have been the mistakes I have made in situations.

Like Will, I tend to get itchy feet after the honeymoon period too. I move around a lot, so any big commitment is out of the question anyway, but I guess I kind of preferr it that way. I know I have hurt others in the past,but it was never intentional. You never know exactly how the other person will be affected by the way you handle the end of a relationship. That is the reason why, although I have been hurt, I cant really harbour any ill will to any of my exes.

I was going to a festival over a weekend and my boyfriend at the time couldnt come because he had to work. We hadnt been going out for too long and we were the darling couple of our social circle at the time.I said goodbye to him the Thursday night, everything was fine and we said we would miss each other and blah blah blah. I came home the following tuesday...he didnt answer my calls or texts,he didnt come see me in the pub I worked in as he usually did, he had the week off from his pub job. Everyone told me they didnt know where he was.His best friend said he had seen him that day and he was fine, so I knew nothing bad had happened to him. I left it after a few days. I even texted him to just let me know if we were broken up, or if something was wrong, saying that I wasnt mad,I just wanted to know. I bumped into him at a pub a few weeks later and we just blanked each other I guess. If he didnt want to talk to me, I didnt see why I should play helpless clingy female. I found out that he had started seeing another girl,a much much younger girl...

The thing is, the reason we were going out was because he chased after me, I was just looking for a little fun. He wanted a relationship, he introduced me to his parents,made wild plans for the future and a commitment with me etc. He had a reputation for being a bit of a ladies man in high school, but he assured me those days were over and he wanted to be with me. I was happy just being a casual thing. He wanted commitment,so I committed.

After all that, after all the chasing and me finally agreeing to commit to him and to trust him and to fall inlove with him, he goes and does that.

I still dont understand what happened, and although I've spoken to him since,as a 'friend', I've never had the guts to ask.

I know that it was that relationship that messed me up the most, and that was a few years ago. I had a more recent relationship that properly broke my heart, but I dont care to share the particulars.


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:I got a good one...
When I was about 14, my first love got a mutual mate 2 finish with me coz, wait for it, his couson fancied me.
we are good friends now though after I finaly got him out of my system. we were on & off 4 a while and he told me he was gutted when I got engaged. so I felt quite good after that lol (am i mean?)


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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:yes, but human.. smile

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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jinvincible
GOLD Member since Nov 2004

jinvincible

king of the hedgehogs
Location: Madtown, USA

Total posts: 125
Posted:I was dating a dancer once, who made my life pretty miserable with her petty jealousy and freakishly hyperbolic way of dealing the other women in my life - after I finally broke things off, I discovered she had been cheating on me... not only with her ex. but also with my last ex's current boyfriend of the time. When I pointed out how hypocritical she was behaving, she retorted with "Well... you started it."

Hrmph.


Yellow and blue make green.

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:back onto the whole "this was #$%& but now life is better"

i had some problems (large, large problems) with best friends and ex boyfriends i was still in love with (join the dots, im sure you can), but the thing is now, its a case of "well, i lived through it. im bigger, im stronger, im tougher and now i know who my true friends are" so life's actually quite fine now. im not happy it happened. but it happened. and well, im travelling the world now - life cant get too much cooler!


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:my theory is true love doesnt hurt meditate

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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LMSP
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

LMSP

veteran
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:Written by: jo_rhymes

my theory is true love doesnt hurt meditate


If thats true, I've never been truly in love! *Ponders thoughtfully* VERY interesting theory. I'll have to think about that one smile


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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:Written by: blu_valley
He wanted commitment,so I committed.

After all that, after all the chasing and me finally agreeing to commit to him and to trust him and to fall in love with him, he goes and does that.



i know that one...i think its some kind of power/ego thing. i think that the boy that did that to me has had more influence over my subsequent relationships than anything or anyone else. i find it very hard to trust people now, because i'm just waiting for them to go awol.


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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:ah good girl marie, u took on board my suggestion!

true love hurts the worst as its usually the one that you cant be with.


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:Written by: jo_rhymes

my theory is true love doesnt hurt meditate



I like that. right time to get a bad ex off my chest... she spins but isn't on HoP...(sorry to people who know her and like her but closure is needed)

My ex-girlfireind I'll be honest had had it bad, too the extent I don't think she knew what love was. shehad issues with alcohol and after 1 drink had to have more.... the problem we had was where we went out I normally had to drive so couldn't drink. After she had a few beers she would become abusive and to a small extent paranoid. She would completely ignore me and go round chatting to other people if I came close or even looked in her direction she would fly off the handle that I was being jealous and possessive. (which I'm not, just packed my new GF off to bestival whilst I go to hastings). Eventually she would become violent and on numerous occasions beat me about the head and threw glasses or dangerous objects at me.
near the end of our relationship whilst I was suffering depression we went to a club night with free entry (for poi-ing and juggling glo toys). She had been her normal self all night (me not caring coz had friends and fun juggles) and at the end we were walking back to the dance floor to colect some stuff before leaving and she peels away walks up to a guy says something and the next I know they're snogging away with her giggling and biting his tongue. I walked up to her and said "Thanks for that...I'm going" and in the end turned out to be the bad guy coz I went without her and she had no lift home... Being stupid I forgave her and over the next few months found other dodgy tell tale signs of cheating. Once even a used condom in HER bedroom bin whilst doing the rubbish when we hadn't had sex for weeks... and she called me paranoid...
Anyway I'm well out of that and now happier than I can remember (appart from standard worries you don't have as a kid) so goes to show from the seeds of ruin can grow something wonderful. ubblove


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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squarexbear
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

squarexbear

....of doom!
Location: Hastings, UK

Total posts: 585
Posted:Written by: jo_rhymes

my theory is true love doesnt hurt meditate



my theory is, you're wrong


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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:ditto What she said...
EDITED_BY: Fine_Rabid_Dog (1126264564)


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8738
Posted:Come on guys, surely "true" love is reciprocated fully, otherwise it's just a pale shadow of what could be, don't you think.
Call me a romantic but I'd love that to be true.


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:Yes, whats that saying...uh
" no man/woman is worth your tears, the one who is, will not make you cry." I belive it (I dont practice it, but I belive it)

I'm with you on the true love doesny hurt theory..


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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