Forums > Social Discussion > I'm afraid of being normal.... Is it ok?

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KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Well, to paraphrase, I've exibited three behaviors which I find very strange but which most people find normal in the past few days. I've been jealous of another girl over a guy, felt guilty about looking at other guys because of the one i've fallen for, and had random romantic things fall out of my mouth constantly, much to my embarressment (exmaple: "Its easy to fall in love with your smile") (The recipient seems to like them).

Now, I know I'm *very* different from other people in my approach to life, and in how much I understand human behavior. I know why, too, but it can still make it rather hard to adjust properly in social situations.... But I'm nervous about the one change and downright upset about the first two, and I guess I'm wondering, normalish people, is it ok????

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


SprocketGOLD Member
Member
140 posts
Location: middle of the outback, Australia


Posted:
Hang on... confused2 (looking up from my normality and humbly asking a question): are you human? And if yes, would you describe yourself as being difficult?

hm, pinecones, my favourits!


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Well, human, yes. Being difficult? About what? *am i being stupid here???*

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


PyroWillGOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom


Posted:
Its simple, you are turning into a care bear, step away from the light!!!!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian


SprocketGOLD Member
Member
140 posts
Location: middle of the outback, Australia


Posted:
Maybe I was completely off track here. I just get a bit confused when people use the word "normal" when I don't know them.

Anyway, if I understand your situation correctely you are just going through a bit of an emotional tantrum. Well, that's always confusing... and annoying because you can't turn it off. But ask anyone on HoP, I bet they have all been there. And I bet most people on HoP are what you would call normal (as usual a few exeptions ubbloco).

Good luck.

hm, pinecones, my favourits!


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Its so... weird tho. I'm just not comfortable with it! And wondering whether its permanent....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


lauz the caterpillagoddess of all things slimey and an interchangeable insect!
2,443 posts
Location: nottingham - the land of opportunity lol!


Posted:
hunny everyone is normal when it comes to human emotions. we all have emotion we all get jealous at some point, sad, happy, scared, embarressed and so on.

no one has typical normal behavior were all very different in some form, shape or other. but deep down inside we all portray human tendencies which are normal. we all have emotion even those who choose not to show them have some form of emotion deep down inside and its all completely normal.
you'll be fine just take it one day at a time wink hug

Shhhhhh! the boobies are trying to sleep.
owner and the property of noddy.
*i was a caterpilla last night wink* - libby_tuesday


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
yeah but you have to admit being 21 and never having felt like that before is.... weird. And its scary. And jealousy really isn't healthy....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


the_poierSILVER Member
the 1337 poier
346 posts
Location: england


Posted:
if your looking for answers from normal people hop wasnt the place to come smile

ive got a fuzzbox and im not afraid to use it
R.I.P. gayfest


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Hehe, you'd think that wouldn't you? But I just met a mess of you guys, and, you're wrong in some respects. You might not be the image of a perfect suburban family (certainly I havnt met any yet wink) but most people here are fairly standard on the whole love and romance thing within the reason that there seems to be a slightly higher percentage of those who are into things like open relationships here.... and that being where much of my problem lies at the moment....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


IgirisujinSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom


Posted:
Im abit confused? Are you one of these people who think they HAVE to be 'orrgional' by covering themselves in tatoos and piercings and dilliberatly wearing unusual clothes to be orrgional and not comform to the 'normal' attitude of life because being 'normal' is just being a sheep?

Im perfectly happy being a sheep, I will style my hair like other people, wear clothes lots of other people wear, I dont feel the need to dye my hgair purple and cover my face in piercings,

Being orrgional is overated IMO, yeah your having feelings that everyone has, embrace them there nice.

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Ha ha, the problem with using forums to communicate when half the people don't know you. Take a look in my gallery if you want to see how original I am, there's just one picture but it shows me pretty well tongue Sorry, I fear that comes off as a dig, its not meant as one, I'm just- really- amused.

But I've never had problems with petty things like jealousy or conforming to societies strange rules for emotion, and, imo, don't really think they are healthy. So this unbidden apprearence of them is rather scary.....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


BirgitBRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)


Posted:
Maybe "society's strange rules for emotion" don't come from people who want to make you conform to them, but from a big part of society feeling in a certain way about certain things, and kind of expecting this from other people. So I think it's not too bad to be "normal" in that sense, cause some things like a certain degree of jealousy and being romantic with someone you like just are more or less human nature smile Don't worry Kyri, you'll not be transformed into a fake blonde who thinks Britney should've married Justin because of it ubblol

Actually when I first came on HoP I expected to find LOTS of artsy open relationship types, but instead most of the people I looked up are really loved up with one person - just look at the number of HoP babies! biggrin

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half


IgirisujinSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: Kyrian


Ha ha, the problem with using forums to communicate when half the people don't know you. Take a look in my gallery if you want to see how original I am, there's just one picture but it shows me pretty well tongue Sorry, I fear that comes off as a dig, its not meant as one, I'm just- really- amused.

But I've never had problems with petty things like jealousy or conforming to societies strange rules for emotion, and, imo, don't really think they are healthy. So this unbidden apprearence of them is rather scary.....




aaah lol, well like I said I dont underastand this post, why are you scared of feeling emotions? I dont understand...well no natter dont explain if you sdont want too it will be hard getting me to understand I can tell ubbrollsmile

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Its hard for a lot of people to understand! Basicaly i see the emotions as destructive and i havn't had expirience with them, and i'm confused and worried as to why i'm doing this to myself....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


IgirisujinSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom


Posted:
oh that makes more sense, well most emotions arent distructive unless you allow them to be. You prefere to keep emotions inside? Im like that I would never let my emotions get out its not proper to do that! (for me anyway, i dont care if others show em, im just weird lol)



I think thay if you fight your emotions they get worse, you can keep them inside as long as you accept them...ok i make myself sound like a robot its not like im THAT stict
EDITED_BY: Brit_Joe (1123773779)

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
1. Feel the jealousy, let it pass over you, don't deny it, let it pass from you, DON'T act on it. (Acting on it includes saying anything to anyone or letting it affect your behavior toward either party in any way.)

2. Let go of that guilt. You're in love, not dead. If looking was the same as doing you could never window-shop! Another one: just because you read the menu doesn't mean you're going to eat in the restaurant.

3. Let the romantic things fall as they will, as long as the recipient likes them! I see no reason for restraint in these matters. Moderation? HAH! That rule is suspended for the first two months of any romance; after that, moderation should be practiced...moderately.

IMHO.

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


vanizeSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA


Posted:
Its totally normal to be afraid of being normal, so it ok.

wink

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
No, but like, I figured I was gonna ask him on a date, and ... there's no reason I can't. Its just I felt guilty. And I think I still do, but if I see the guy again I prolly will anyhow.

I already said something about the jealousy-it wasn't really an issue just something to be expected from their point of view, altho not of me- and its a weird feeling to me. But it comes and goes in any event.

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,923 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Honey, you're in Michigan.

Get out before the place normalizes you.

Come to New Yawk! NOTHING about this place is normal! biggrin

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
feel jealous - we all do - jst let it happen and like Xopher said dont act on it (well as much as you can)

enjoy the emotions, be a love sick fool smile then at least you can b!itch about it later tongue

dont be scared of being normal - its impossible i know only one person who you would call normal and she's one of the oddest people i know (seriously shes normal to the extreme and scary because of it tongue in a normal kinda way)

back


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
because i can afford new york! Ha.

Now, york, thats a different story... tongue

Right then, well, i'm going to try this lovesick idiocy thing, and do my best to get a visa and some money and get myself across the pond. But the jealousy thing needs to stop.

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
yay come visit us smile the UK is excellent place for nothing in particular smile

good luck hun and go well smile be happy and enjoy yourself smile

oh and keep that normality to yourself tongue im happy being a freak tongue *hugs

back


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
I was happy being weird! Dear god... don't really know what happened. D*mn brits, starting this....

I feel more ok about it than I did, still a bit preplexed. I might not have changed as much as I think, either, circumstances being what they are. Oh well. Its kind of fun to be sappy sometimes tongue

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


nusku42Member
19 posts
Location: Chicago burbs


Posted:
Here's my 2 cents.

Emotion happen to everybody, even I have been accused of saying some odd things ask my wife. As was said above don't let the emotion get out of hand or control you. Have have been accused of being vanilla but not normal, but I know better.

SethisBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom


Posted:
Emotions = Good. No Emotions = Zombie = Bad.

Simple wink

I agree with the menu thing. Nothing wrong with looking, in fact I'll often point out just how ugly other people are in comparison to my girlfriend. And the ones that aren't, I just don't say anything... biggrin

(Aly, you know I'm playing!)

Jealousy? Yep, I get that sometimes, but I have every confidence in the faith of my love, so it's more of a 5 second thing for me. How long does the jealousy last? If you're thinking jealous thoughts when he/she isn't even in the room, and isn't talking to you, then you should probably do something happy instead.

^
|

My ideas.

After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
When who isn't in the room? The person I'm jealous of, or the boy? Because in either case, its really quite impossible. But to delineate the jealousy, its pretty much only when he says "Ima hang with *her*" (Ok, thats uttlery american, he didn't say it, but you get the point) and then I have to kind of sit there and wonder, is she a *friend* or you know, what? Its the not knowing whats going on and not having any right to care that brings it out.....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


LoewanBRONZE Member
and behold!
464 posts
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom


Posted:
Kyrian, all you need to know is that what you are going through is completely normal. With the sweet comes bitterness and thats what it means to be human. And there is certainly no need to be guilty for being human if you catch my drift. At the end of the day, if you look at it from a scientific point of view, the passion burn you felt at the bottom of your heart are merely chemicals changing within your body. You see something, hormone is releases, you felt something. You could do nothing about it but what matters is how you react to these emotions.

Why let your body be a temple? When it can be a theme park?

Wii Console Number: 3294 0297 7824 7498


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Yeah, I do know its *normal*.... but its normal for these things to be the case from the time of, oh, i don't know, puberty-ish I think. And I've not so much had the pleasure before....

Is it not somehow bizarre to go years and relationships and situations and countries and then just suddenly one day go, ooh, jealousy, romanticism, how did you find your way in here?

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


LoewanBRONZE Member
and behold!
464 posts
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom


Posted:
Ah! So you are just shocked that all your previous experiences haven't prepared you for the feelings you are experiencing? Well, lets just say that unless you have seived through all the sand on the beach, don't be surprised of getting cut by broken glass. Its a big beach out there! LOL! Surely, this one is somewhat special? The likes of whom you have never met before? Feeling you with emotions which you have never felt before and therefore have no idea what to do?
EDITED_BY: Alien_Concept (1123993031)

Why let your body be a temple? When it can be a theme park?

Wii Console Number: 3294 0297 7824 7498


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Sounds about right..... you have no idea how confusing it is!

Or perhaps everyone knows exactly how confusing it is and they're all laughing at me?
Truly, I feel dumb. At best. And embarressed....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


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