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Forums > Social Chat > What to do when you are dead

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clarence_quack
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder, Austr...

Total posts: 1927
Posted:What to do when you are dead...



A Comprehensive Guide To Your Afterlife.







Light and How it Affects You



-Avoid direct sunlight. You will disappear and not be able to move.



-Do not stay in dark places for more than a few hours.



-Avoid bright lights (they might change you).







Your Surroundings



-Stay aware of your surroundings at all times...you will not feel the urge to sleep and you will never dream.



-Float from place to place by focusing on your destination while looking at it.







Recognising Your Past



-Do not revel in regret.



-Attempt to find your place of residence.







Communication in the Afterlife



-If detected by small children or animals, tell them you do not exist.



-Do not talk to other ghosts. They will harm you.



-Do not talk to the living. They will ignore you.







Your Wellbeing



-Do not attempt to stand upright until you are positive that you are dead (try passing your hand through your face to determine if you are).



-If you become tired of being a ghost, find a beach and float towards the horizon.



-Do not wish to be anything else.







Your Identity



-Do not hold onto memories of life. They will be distorted and innaccurate.



-Do not try to put yourself back into your dead body or any other living ones, you will be frightened.

EDITED_BY: clarence_quack (1121834795)


Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

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FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
uuuhhh-huh...


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

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Raro


member
Location: Tas, Aus

Total posts: 97
Posted:are we supposed to remember this when we snuff it?

The Salmon moose!

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FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
hey that's a good question... cuz it says "Do not hold onto memories of life. They will be distorted and innaccurate."


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

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clarence_quack
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder, Austr...

Total posts: 1927
Posted:hey, im merely passing on what may be valuable information... i got it in a cd. that should say it all.

Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

Delete

FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
*Pats* it's ok we're not critising you, we're critising the person that wrote it.


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

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Charles
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001

Charles

Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Total posts: 3989
Posted:Were they alive when they wrote it?

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

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Groovy_Dream
SILVER Member since May 2005

Groovy_Dream

addict
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 449
Posted:It's all true. Last time i was dead i made the mistake of revelling in regret, and then i lost an eye. Serves me right.

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Melemel


Melemel

member
Location: South-west,UK

Total posts: 114
Posted:ubblol ubblol ubblol

Tomorrows World isnt on anymore...Does that mean its tomorrow now?

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 197
Posted:*tries to pass hand through face*

*ends up slapping herself through the face*

*looks around and giggles*


*tries again*


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Delete

Noddy


Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK

Total posts: 2865
Posted:ubblol

Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

Delete

TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:How about going to Denver?
Apparently There are Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead...


(Ace film)

biggrin


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Sir Nuggit


Sir Nuggit

....is a liability
Location: playing with traffic

Total posts: 899
Posted:ubblol @ Tinklepants

Hmm, the big snooze.


Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens ubbloco

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Or we can go to Devon. Or is that Heaven? I can't remember....

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

Sir Nuggit


Sir Nuggit

....is a liability
Location: playing with traffic

Total posts: 899
Posted:Not sure it'd be the same as Denver hon, although the surf would be better.

Heaven? I here they're quite picky at who they let in, I might skip the whole 'explaining to David why I was such a mess up through life' thing and go straight to the down escilator.

I'm sure the reception would be a lot warmer down there anyway biggrin


Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens ubbloco

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FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
yeah... more fire for spinning....


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

Delete

TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Nuggit you're the only other person I know who says Hon not Hun! My Geordie mate in Truro Is the only other person I know who says it!

Talking about death and the afterlife, I bought Constantine on dvd yesterday. Really enjoyed it, like.

Nothing like a religious battle between good and evil to gimme the willies! eek


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

Sir Nuggit


Sir Nuggit

....is a liability
Location: playing with traffic

Total posts: 899
Posted:Hon, hun, tomayto, tomarto ubblol

I dunno why good just doesn't leave evil well alone to be honest! I mean, we need both for there to be either (without evil, good would nothing and without good, we'd be living under President Bush's reign ubblol


Pull my pin out, roll me in to a room and see what happens ubbloco

Delete

TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Call your dog bad and your cat good.

"c'mere Bad, good dog"
"you're a bad cat, Good"

blah blah..

If all dogs go to heaven,
are all the cats in hell?


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:I'm cool, I have already the possession of many souls (freely given in exchange for services) so I'm gonna wander the afterlife with slaves and company. I don't wanna go to heaven
(bet you can't smoke there) and at least you can
"f*ckin' hell" (well I hope so as everyone keeps saying it)


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:you can "flip" in hell too.
good news for naughty gymnasts then....


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

Noddy


Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK

Total posts: 2865
Posted:yay!

Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

Delete

Hardy


Hardy

newbie
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 13
Posted:What about somersaults? its all i can do *sob*

Even my multiple personalities hate me!
BLEEEAAAGGHHH!

Delete

Noddy


Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK

Total posts: 2865
Posted:can i bring my stilts?

Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted:No stilts are allowed in the afterlife, you're not allowed to be taller than deities

-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:The other thing is "Don't move; it scares the piss out of the coroner."

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
too true.


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

Delete

Raro


member
Location: Tas, Aus

Total posts: 97
Posted:oh well you gotta get ya laughs some how

The Salmon moose!

Delete

FoxInDocs
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia

Total posts: 1848
Posted:
also true.


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

Delete

Groovy_Dream
SILVER Member since May 2005

Groovy_Dream

addict
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 449
Posted:Would people be offended if i made swear words appear in Oujie boards?

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Written by: JP Sir Noddy

can i bring my stilts?



Well if they're wood they'll burn. D'oh! ubbrollsmile


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

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