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Forums > Social Chat > What Ive been stressed out about:

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:Hello everyone.
As you may or may not have been aware, I have being going through a shit load of fuck ups in my life.... but mainly in the last month or so which finally came to a head with in the past week. Basically I will start from the start:
Over here in England There are exams that 17-18 year olds take called AS or A-Levels. One AS level is half an
A-level. The number of points for the AS level exam you take counts towards the final A-level result that you get when it is
added to the mark you get for the A-level...its a bit complicated.
I started the AS level course With: Maths, Physics, IT and German. From the very start of the AS course I always knew I
would drop Maths at As-level and continue with Physics, IT and German. So That was all Ok-ed with the school. So I went
through the AS-level course and Achieved one D for Physics, one D for German, A D for one of the Maths modules (the other I
got a U for which means unclassified (I fucked up). I am still to do one maths module in January and retake the failed maths
module as well.
Then at the start of this school term...shit hit the proverbial fan. MY IT teachers said as my coursework wasn’t up to scratch to be submitted for the AS course as it was, that I shouldn’t do IT A-level and instead redo the coursework and submit it for the AS level course as to achieve a better grade at As than a shitty one for A-level as I would have a brand new coursework to do (twice the length of the first one which I even had trouble with). I agreed and because I had to do 3
A-levels....I had to take up General Studies. I didn’t tell my parents this.....1st mistake as my mum thinks it is a waste
of time as she thought that not many universities accepted it to get on a course.
Then only a few days ago...my physics teacher had a word with me and he suggested that I shouldn’t continue with the
A-level course as in his words "You are simply sitting in lessons, You aren’t paying attention, you have no interest in the
subject and you cant even remember basic GCSE formulas" (GCSE's are the exams before As levels). I had no choice but to
agree with him as EVERYTHING was zooming over my head and I was literally sitting in the lesson going ...what the fuck??? That left me with General studies and German as A-levels. Hardly any decent Universities would accept me on 2 A-levels..and my mum wasn’t going to pay for me to go on a shitty course at a shitty university which meant I got a shitty degree which meant jack shit. I dint tell my parents about this either....2nd mistake
I bunked a physics test as I hadn’t revised and didn’t want to get a crap score. Unfortunatly the teacher had seen me
earlier and when I said I had a careers interview he went and checked...I wasn’t at a careers interview....I was on Home of
Poi posting. He found out that I didn’t have a careers interview and confronted me in the lesson. he found out I was lying and I felt like shit. When I eventually did the test I got 1/25 (4%)..which backed up the idea that I shouldn’t do physics. I
didn’t tell my parent this either...3rd mistake
I wasn’t really going to the maths lessons as I hate the teacher...he found out....I didn’t tell my parents ....4th
I wasn’t going to General Studies lessons either. not really a mistake as the teacher is a fool and didn’t know I was
supposed to be in the lessons.
My parents didn’t know I smoke....5th mistake
I 'forgot' to tell them about the parents evening until I had to (2 days before it was happening)....5th mistake

Then the icing on the cake came today: at break time I went off with Chris (also UCOF member) to have a quick
fag..which involved leaving the school premises and breaking the rules. We went off to our usual smoking spot and sparked up.
We finished our fags (well I had Chris was just about finishing) when a car pulled up. Before the car pulled up I had taken
out a rizla and a filter tip and was about to do a rolly. Guess who was in the car.....yes....my headmaster! FUCK!!! Chris
was using his phone at the time (texting) as soon as Chris saw our headmaster he dropped his fag behind him and trod on it,
rolled it around a bit to make it look old. Chris wasn’t caught. As Chris was doing this I put the rizla in my pocket and
acted normally.... the head came up to us and said to me "give me the pack of rizla" so I handed it over. He turned to Chris
and said have you been on a fag break as well? Chris said no. he was told to go back to school which left me with the head master and my legs shaking uncontrollably.
He took the rizla and said "right, empty your pockets" so I did...(good thing I didn’t empty my right coat pocket as it had an empty skunk bag and long rizla skins...erm...bit obvious! I did however hand over the empty park of blue rizla which I used for roaches. He said "What impression do you think this gives to people who see you smoking?" This came as a stupid question as we were standing on the drive of the parents whose son goes to our school and who knows their son smokes and lets him on the driveway...
I said to him.."have you heard the amount of stress im going through at the moment?" he said no..so I regurgitated all of the aforementioned problems. He eventually said fine. He confiscated the backie and rizlas and said he was giving them to my head of year, and if they backed up my story I might get my items back. I dint tell my parents this either...silly me..

Basically, tonight at the parents evening it seems like my entire life has been given a second chance:

1) My physics teacher and my form tutor (my form tutor is the head of physics) and they both said they would help me in any
way I wanted, extra lessons, extra work, etc..this was a life saver. So I am now doing physics at A-level

2) My mum became fine with the idea of me doing general studies as she actually heard what was on the course and didn’t seem
too fucked off...

3) As I was scared of my year head telling my parents that I had been caught smoking (well almost)...I quickly said to my mum
before we saw my year head..."Imp not going to hide it or lie about it now mum....I smoke..." she muttered something back to
me...typical though...my year head didn’t frigging tell my parents that I had been caught smoking! aarggh! but I had been
thinking of telling them for sometime now anyway.

4) The IT teacher said that I can come to her with as much work as I want to ensure I get a good mark for my IT
AS-level...thank god!
erm...sorry had a half hour break and I cant remember what I was saying...so I will probably forget something...

Right...5) German is looking up...it really is though, just about the only lesson I look forwards to in the week...I love it sooo much!

erm...I think that’s about it...and this is now officially the longest ever post by one person...any others in line for the award?

take care of yourself and remember...there is ALWAYS light at the end off the long deep dark tunnel..I mean...look how fucked up I was at the beginning...and now look at me...things are definatly looking better...Thanks for reading this stupidly long post and hope it didn’t confuse you.


Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:Heres a peom that i wrote a while back:


I feel fucked,
This world, it's all gone wrong
Nothing seems right,
No one listens,
Fewer people care,
So much to do, so little time to do it in.

Why did it have to be this way?
How did everything go wrong?
Why so quickly?
Why are we all still alive?
Why aren't we all dead?
Why aren't I dead?

I only need a knife or a gun,
And then it would be done.
Isn't life supposed to be fun?
Give me a knife and then one by one
All the problems in this existance would be gone.

THings spinning around inside my head,
I don't know who, why or what,
I only know that they are there
But they will not leave me
No one to talk to
No one to turn to
No one gives a fuck.

Parents going their seperate ways,
My mind is doing that too.
Everything's on top of me.
Beating me, punching me, kicking me.
They will not stop.
Why won't they stop?

My mum's going on at me,
Won't she ever stop?
ANd get off my fucking back
I don't knoiw what to do
Or where to go.

School's crap, a fucking waste of time
Too much work, will I ever get it all done?
And then there's what others call my 'future'
What future?
I have nothing
I need to get away, I'm gonna fly away
To a better place where nothing can reach me
But theyv'e tried to teach me.

I don't know what to do
What the fuck can I do?
What the fuck can I do?
With these problems stuck to me like glue.
What can I do?
I know...

Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:dude go spin, believe me things will seem a bit better after a good long spin

Take a few hours out of your day and use them twords spinning.

if that dont help do it again, and keep doing it till it does work.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:Beers & Stuff 2moro man -


Small Lardy Person In Disguise


Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:Cheers raymond...the whole point is that i am fine now...everytyhing appears to be sorted out...untill the next time i fuck my life up...lol


Location: London
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 2211
Posted:I am the voice of doom!

I had 5 years of hell at UNI!

1 year I had to repeat because I failed 1 of my courses by a few piddling percent, oh and they did not take into account that I had a lung infection at the time and had to leave the exam early. The reason they did not take this into account is that all the medical notes ‘got lost’ and they were unable to verify my claim. But as only a 5 people (out of an original 25) of my class made it through the course in 4 years I did not feel so bad.

The rest of my time there was hell and when we officially complained to the Head of our Course she told us not to rock the boat as unfortunately she had no jurisdiction over the language department of our course and knew full well than any complaints would be reflected in our course work. Oh and as the external examiner was a friend of the lecturers there would be no hope of having a bad decision over-ruled.

So I battled on, consoled with the fact that I would be able to pay back all my debts and have a decent lifestyle at the end of it.

Instead I am working in a job I have no interest in. Oh, and I would probably earn more per annum if I worked in Safeway as a cashier.

To make it worse, my boyf just lost his part-time job (It was only 35 for a days work but it meant I did not have to give him spending money as well as pay all the rent and bills).

So despite having 2 years experience, a good degree and good Japanese skills I cannot get a decent job? What the hell is up with that??

Still waiting for the chink of light at the end of the tunnel.

Most definitely have stopped believing in karma, those who shit on others prosper! You can get so far through hard work, but without luck on your side you need a leg-up or a leg-over to suceed.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


Laguna dude
Location: Laguna, California, US
Member Since: 24th Jul 2002
Total posts: 1438

i got it that you're all right now, you're up now, mate. good wind to you!

& smart of you to be thankful to fate to this lucky point. take it & run like fucking hell past the posts, and keep her tight in your ribs. swing fire with the free hand since you'd be madd for doing an exotic spin as you dive for all those scores while handily keeping your skin & arse in one randy dandy piece.

so what kind of music do you want for your excellent poem, they're lyrics, eh, dark rock? nuMetal with some hoarse-shout? Trent would do them so raw and fine and end up with a pained wheeze, untouchable!

troth. you must get them sung with a band.

you could also go heavy punk or psychobilly or goth, but i like dark-metal for them. what do you want, UCOF, you're the lyricist. or do you sing, your own throat, then?

[ 04 October 2002, 23:32: Message edited by: FireMike ]

molten cheers,

~ FireMike

FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US

Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Member Since: 28th Mar 2002
Total posts: 249
Posted:i bet that felt fantastic to get it out. what you need now is a nice long bitching session about anything and anyone. wrap it up with some spinning and chocolate and the world will be dandy!
ive been in your situation a few times this year, and the comforting thought is: you know that time keeps ticking and eventually it'll be three days later and some things may have changed or resolved. in the meantime, just put up with anything that hits you, do the best you can in the situation, or what you WANT to do (even if thats give up) or give everyone a bit long speech about how your cracking under pressure (this one works wonders for me) or just run away and hide under the sofa.

luv'n sunshine

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:UCOF, it is amazing how tolerant and together your parents can be. I am really beginning to appreciate mine, both as my parents and as people in their own right.

And I am so glad things have come good. As they will for you, Kat. You will make it through, older, tougher, wiser.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


Location: la-la land
Member Since: 15th Feb 2002
Total posts: 2419
Posted:I do feel for you.. but trust me no matter how bad your school life gets, they are still some of the best in your life - I've got a few more years a head of you.. trust me the stresses don't go away - you get learn to deal with them. It's all a growing thing - and learning to deal with them make you the person you will be.


They tell us courtesy is contagious - why not start an epidemic??

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..


Location: la-la land
Member Since: 15th Feb 2002
Total posts: 2419
Posted:I do feel for you.. but trust me no matter how bad your school life gets, they are still some of the best in your life - I've got a few more years a head of you.. trust me the stresses don't go away - you get learn to deal with them. It's all a growing thing - and learning to deal with them make you the person you will be.


They tell us courtesy is contagious - why not start an epidemic??

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..


big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay
Member Since: 29th Aug 2002
Total posts: 7330
Posted:glad to hear its all looking sorted now man - i can see why you might have been feelin a little stressed. sounds like you've got some good people around you though that really do give a shit about what happens to ya.

i walked my a-levels (not saying this to piss you off wait for it...) but fucked up big time @ uni. this is a far worse place to bomb - my parents were not involved and the support system (tutors etc) weren't very helpful at all. your offers of extra help and lessons is superb! i had to ask my mates to help me learn stuff which i felt terrible doing - why should they be helping me when they're already finding it hard themselves?

anyway, what i'm trying to say is it sounds like you're much happier, even though you're probably doing more work now! go for it i don't really give advice as i rarely take it myself (and anyway, learning the hard way means its far harder to forget the lesson) BUT whatever ya do, don't do physics for a degree!

peas out.

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:hey you have a wonderful opportunity to cement this faith in everything being right in the end.
allow it now to infect your attitude in life, and the absence of pressure nurtures a great peace!
This life, it's as if god has given us a hand of cards to play, it's up to use to 'play' it wisely.
'Play' your life with a calm spirit, knowing that all will eventually be fine at the end, and your journey will be a blissful one!
great to hear you worked out fine, bud!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:UCOF, so sorry to hear life sucks now.


Take a deep breath and just repeat: "This will end."

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


old hand
Location: Nottingham UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2001
Total posts: 950
Posted:Glad it all worked out for you in the end. No sweat! You know what I think anyways

Take care J

Are we nearly there yet?

Location: Perf, australia
Member Since: 10th Nov 2001
Total posts: 82
Posted:eep. i got school exams in less than a week, and my TEE (uni entrance exams) in less than 4 weeks.
and i wanna do law, which means i need a mark in the top 2% of west australian kids sitting TEE...
so not cool...
and i feel all bad coz i broke my no-drinking-during-until-after-exams rule last night.

guess TEE aint as bad as that a-levels, o-levels stuff. i got 6 subjects to sit, and they choose the 4 highest marks i get... so not so much pressure

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:clare, i am trying to get out of law. I worked in a big law firm for the last year and I tell you I've met 2 barristers that i liked, and i've met heaps. It is my perception that it's a nasty world where all your energies and and resources are spent to fuck the pther side over. Scruples are seen as weakness, and ethics an expensive novelty. After a while (too long!) i realised the good salary does not justify the disillusionment. I'm sure that you've heard of great experiences in law, but for me, I don't ever want to lose my faith in peoples' goodness. I worked in mud, and it stuck. I need a job where people are grateful for help, cus the buzz from that makes you want to wake up for work each day!

It can only help you to talk to some people in the field about their honest impressions of life in the industry. <---note completely irrelevant icon.

I think i've offended every law person on HoP. oh dear :flees faster than you can say 'defamation':

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

Location: Berlin, Germany
Member Since: 29th Apr 2002
Total posts: 577
Posted:Aaah! I got stressed out just reading that. I know how you feel. I've had several narrow escapes in my life. Just don't take these things lightly. Appreciate how easily you got off by working your ass off now. If you ever need help in German or math, let me know and I'll see if I can help you. I don't know any physics though.

Take it easy, honey.

Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

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