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Forums > Social Chat > Things that we would like NOT to see on HoP or things that offend us: (Dirty Laundry)

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:*** Please note that I've changed the topic from "The definitive DIRTY LAUNDRY thread" to what it is now to more adequately reflect it's contents and intent***

[Yeah, I'm gonna do it.]

I'll start off by saying that this is in reference to some of the bad blood that has been flowing though HoP with the Sexy Fire Spinners thread, the Censored thread, and the Have we lost the point thread. The large majority of HoPers that this doesn't pertain to can move on and not bother with this nonsense.

I'm gonna try really hard NOT to make this a redundant post NOR am I going to blame anybody.

I would very much like to see us to discuss some SPECIFIC things that we would like NOT to see on HoP or things that offend us.

IF you are not interested in participating in this conversation PLEASE DON'T POST "I think everything is fine" or "Just shut up" or "Why are you still talking about this" or "Grow some balls" type posts. Clearly there are enough of us that are still affected. I, like some, would benefit from an open discussion. Please allow us this one thread to discuss this.

AFTER we have all aired our dirty laudry about what bothers us, and only AFTER. We can see if there is a common ground that we can meet upon.

Again:
This is only for people who want to discuss this further.

*For example: (And I'm deliberately picking a stupid one that I don't agree with) If it really bothered someone that people flirt too much on HoP they could say so, then 57 people would disagree with them and perhaps they'd learn to deal with it. OR 75 people could come out of the woodwork and say it bothered them too and I, as NYC, would then AT LEAST KNOW that the next time I flirted, I'd be bothering people.

For the third time, if this is not for you, it would help the thread if you just clicked "back"

Unfortunately, I think it would also help if we kept all threads completely free of sarcasm.

And my final attempt to play civilian moderator, I won't even start with what I think. Perhaps someone else can start...

Specific things that we, as individials, would like not to see on HoP or that offend us:
(I think it would be beneficial to distinguish between "This offends me but I can deal with it" and "I really think that this has no place on HoP".)

[Standing idealistically with eyes wide open hoping for positive but preparing for negative...]

[ 04 October 2002, 13:43: Message edited by: NYC ]


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Paddy, please stay in the conversation. We need just as much people who can approach this with a soft gentle humour.

Sometimes it can be a far more useful tool to highlight problems than pointing and shouting. I would have loved it if someone had just responded to your post with the following:

quote:


Actually that makes me think, what about the titles of threads? They can be really unclear sometimes, so I miss important stuff
That way we could have used your humour with a smile, and made it even more useful. So please stay. & please talk.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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SmallBoys Evil Twin Brother


member
Location: London

Total posts: 55
Posted:Maybe I don't have the right to be saying this especially as it's a little "off topic" regardless of who fucking hijacked mine and turned it into something they wanted it to be....

The thing I didn't wanna see here was HOP to get too serious, because regardless of what some of you want to see there are poi-ers and potential customers to the HOP shop that don't want it all serious. I'm shocked that some of you haven't got the maturity to just ignore it in a lot of situations. OK if it gets too much then by all means, make a point of it or ask a mod nicely if they can have a word.
I am serious on here when I see a topic I feel strongly about but there hasn't been very much I want to be serious about coz most of the threads are just non-serious/non-sensical bollocks. However I like the freedom to be completely dettached form normality as and when I choose.
freedom of speech and all that bollocks, as and when Malcolm tells me to stop wasting his server space I'll shut my face, but until such time, I'll keep posting bollocks and if any of you have a problem then feel free to PM me (or attack me in public for those of you that figure attacking people in public is good for the site and potential visitors)

Technical is serious
Social is supposed to be social
It has been insinuated that I'm not attached to reality, well that's fine.....my online persona does in fact reflect me in a big way.
So why should I have to change my personality to avoid coming under attack from people that don't have the maturity to just ignore these things.

OK drug comments noted......I am very sorry and this is something I should have been far more considerate about. Openness has alwayz been a big part of my views (both my parents & even my managers at work know my views for example) but I do realise that this isn't my site and I haven't got the right to make comments. I have tried to make my views far more subtle and will continue to monitor my own posts.

Hijacking threads to have conversations/arguments which have no relevance to the topic itself or the persons introduction is FUCKING RUDE, and things like that shouldn't happen anyway.
That's general consideration
(*Notices that some people shouting about this the loudest are just as guilty*)

quote: I thought this was actually a thread about dirty laundry. I was going to come in here and start bitching about having to wear a bathing suit for the past three days because I ran out of underwear and I don't have time to do my frickin' laundry these days Ok this may have been a little poorly timed due to the nature of this thread but it made me smile, it broke the deep melancholy that these recent threads have stirred up. Am I the only one that thinks that?

If you want it all serious then why not join a more serious discussion board rather than just try and turn this one into something else?

Or maybe you'd prefer it if all the people that are different to you left, or became something their not, or just stopped adding to the diversity of the site.
Then would you be happy??????

I wouldn't, but then I'm not one of the most normal people I know so maybe I'm wrong.....igt happens a lot.


I don't rebel against the system, I created it for the misery of others.

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Thank you NYC for posting and being who you are.

that being said I am really feeling releived to see what's going on on HOP in the past few days.

I agree with almost everyone's post here and can only support the different points. Kudos to Glass for the drug issue, byt the way.

This is finally one of the posts where people help thigns move on and almost noone injected any negativity or disrespect while still wording different opinions. Much appreciated

As the French frog of the site and allthough I don't think it is such a great issue and people are being rather nice about it let me add this :

It is really excellent to see that more and more foreigners are joining HOP (Hungary, Czech republic ...) please remember to post in proper english and also please take notice of possible language questions and help us enjoy the site ,even though we may not be native speakers

Shine on
cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Glåss
PLATINUM Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:[off topic but necessary:
Paddy sorry for being short.

minor misjudgement on both sides, now cleared up
thanks Rozi
be cool
A


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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:Err hi.. FireMike asked me to put this post here..
So here it is..

Saw a message way back about intimidating newbies.. well I've been registered for a while and I still feel intimidated about posting.. The reason I feel intimidated is that I feel there are a couple of 'cliques' and if you ain't in one of them.. well I say no more.

On the few post that I have made recently I have been accused of hassling people (when only one post was placed) all in all the conflict was resolved by 'misunderstandings on both sides' but I didn't feel it fair to be accused of that when I was just using the boards for what I thought they were for - not trying to be on anyones side - just wanting to be equal.. there rant over.

Peace and fluff n stuff

Stix

===========
If it's true the world is getting smaller, why does the price of postage keep going up??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:I did just want to say that I have appreciated the effort SmallBoy has made in visiting almost every single intro thread to say hello. Pretty amazing. I am in awe of that, matey. stay safe in your travels.

As to the cliques, I know we aren't on to solutions yet, so I won't ask how to solve it. But has anyone else felt this way/experienced this? Was there any time, or area of the board where it was more prevalent?


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:i would not ask it that way rozi simply because giving names will make the debate personnal and heated... maybe I am wrong though... I am, after all sometimes a bit paranoid

I must say that i beleive those cliques exist and that between a "group of friends" who know eachother in real life and post on HOp and a clique that is a bit exclusive of others, the only difference is in the attitude and being maybe cautious of private jokes etc ... I think it is great that many people know eachotehr in real life as long as everyone remembers how intimidating it can be for others

shine on
Cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:Well said Cass!

Respect.
Niki

Not everyone understands the 'in' joke.

============
Keep your ideals high enough to inspire you, and low enough to encourage you.


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:As much as I didn't want to post more than 1000 posts I can't be bothered to log back in as evil twin. And as much as I'll probably get someone jump in and say "that's not topic" I don't care.

Cass - It was made personal right from the start, I felt attacked by most posts (as do a few others) and I accept what's been going on as partly my fault.
I don't really care any more, but I do feel upset by all the hatred that's been flying around just so certain people can feel big and important.

But I think Rozis post was split into 2 bits and I was featured before any questions were asked.

I'm sorry if this sounds depressive, or inadvertantly agressive or whatever but I'm having one of the worst dayz of my life so please bear with me.

I'm going for a bit of a cry, a cigarette and possibly a few beers. If by then this post has created any problems or backlash I'll delete it along with all my other posts, my characters and stuff.

Not sure if there's any easy way to do this in one hit - if any mods could help me out here it'd be appreciated.

Peace guys
Cam


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:I think if we all just remember that this is a worldwide site with people of differing confidencies.. some people are more sesitive than others - me included. But hey - we've all had our differences..

Just treat others as you wish to be treated.. Reap what you sow and everything you deserve will come back to you..

hugs and spoons

==========
What benefits a man if he gains a whole world but loses his own soul?


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Glåss
PLATINUM Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:[whether or not its on topic does not concern me, I consider this important
Appologies to NYC, this thread shall resume shortly]

Cam, sorry to hear that your upset.
IMHO please don't even entertain the notion
of deleting all your posts or even any single one of them.
I mean that, Even the ones that i have found to be upsetting.
what is done, is done.
you should be proud of what you have achieved here.

Hope you cheer up soon,
Drew
_______________________
fragile, handle with care


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Dio


Dio

HoP Mechanical Engineer
Location: OK, USA

Total posts: 729
Posted:Everyone seems bent on this fact that HoP is going thru like a mid-life crisis. What to do about a mid-life crisis? Well, most 40-something males go out and buy a sports car or something... Around these parts I think maybe a different strategy would be in order.

How feasible would it be for Malcolm to hit the reset button and start everyone back over from scratch? New Usernames, new personalities all on the same level, no more "check the search function," no more fear of trying to butt into an already-established clique.... I mean, if it's really all that bad then why not just start off with a clean slate?


What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:[Cam, I wanted to respond to your thread, but didn't want to corrupt this one with my opinion so I responded in the "Have we lost the Point?" thread, which is what I felt was the closest to what you were saying.]

I know that Rozi and friends have all been politely waiting while the intial brainstorm of "Things we would not like to see on HoP"... are there any other new points that we haven't put on the table before we discuss specifics?


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Thistle


Thistle

old hand
Location: Nottingham UK

Total posts: 950
Posted:NYC I think it was very brave of you to start this debate.
Respect!

Personally, I don't like the overly sexual/flirtatios posts. My daughter lurks here abouts and I get upset by her having to wade through all this Adult Relationship stuff, and I am a liberal parent! Also I do not like anything of a dark/twisted nature such as the hanging yourself on hooks thread, which I made my feelings clear about then and there. These things, IMO, are best left in PMs and adult chatrooms.

Less random drug references would be nice

I think arguements are inevitable when there are this many people from so many different backgrounds together in one place. So no problem there.


Are we nearly there yet?

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cutie poi girlie


member
Location: porthtowan, truro, cornwall

Total posts: 237
Posted:ok, first of all i think that the "clean slate" idea is good,butwould it work?

also, im a ware that ive made a few random drug references aswell, so sorry for that, ill try not to do it in future.

i also agree with the people who think "kliques" can be intimidating..specially when people are posting stuff like, "hey, [insert username here]what u doing on saturday night? wanna meet up?" the pm function is there for a reason, y'know.


Luv peace 'n' chicken grease Al X x

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Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin


Total posts: 5635
Posted:I would like to see less links to offensive sites as well. In a thread about two weeks ago, there was a poorly labelled link to a well known site called Rotten. Those of you who have seen it, will know what i am talking about.

There was nothing to say that people might find this link DISTRESSING. Rotten is a pretty hard core site, in terms of visual content. The next person to post was kind enough to put a warning in regard to the content of the site. But personally, i think that is a bit late. If i hadnt scrolled down to see what others had posted, and clicked on the link straight away, theres no telling what i would have seen. Having visited Rotten before, i have no inclination to ever see anything of that nature again.

So here is what i suggest. If you feel the need to post a link to a site of this nature, Warn others and give a description of what they are bout to click on.

Im not saying i dont like random links in general. I appreciate nearly ALL of bender and C@ntus's random links, but these gentlemen are both sensible enough not to post anything that graphic.

my 2% of $1


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:OK... this post has simmered for a while. Any new ideas are still welcome, of course. Let's do try to keep it on topic though.

I think our next step should be to distill out what most people are saying. To take Rozi's format, I think it would be easy to focus on:

1) "Hijacking Threads" - Specifically, this means taking a serious thread and going off topic, or interjecting an irrelevant joke. I don't think anyone has any problem with relevant jokes as long as they are relevant and don't derail the conversation. I also don't think that offering a radically different opinion or voicing disagreement would be considered Hijacking either... I do think that the initial poster could set up guidelines if they did want to stay on a specific topic. I've found that helpful in this thread at least.

2) Relevant Titles - Yes, I've quickly learned my lesson and respect other's wishes on Relevant Thread Titles. I agree, it is a fantastic idea, even in the social section.

3) Keeping the Board "PG" - I think there's been a general consensus to limit drug references and links to objectionable sites without warning. Again, this one wasn't my idea. I've got issues with making a firetwirling website "Kid Friendly" but I do respect others adults wishes not to have to wade through that.

I shyed away from including "No Spam" because of two reasons. a) I think a large majority of us do like having random silly threads as long as they are well labled and distinct from serious ones. b) It's such a vague term that it would take a law book to really define it. I think that if we can iron out the above, "No Spam" will take care of itself.

As a positive which is coming out of this thread, I think that the above three are very achievable goals.

Are there any other issues that have been mentioned by more than one poster that don't fit under ONE of these topics?


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:I think the only one not covered above was:

4) Welcoming newbies - We want to new people to the board to feel welcome, to know that they can post and get involved in conversations. Specific issues that people have raised are "in-jokes" & "cliques".

I won't post a solution to this, as it is more of an awareness thing, for us older folkies/fogies, and for newcomers to the board.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Delete

Kurobei


member
Location: The Phire Kru

Total posts: 786
Posted:Although I hold pretty neutral ground on this topic and have decided to keep my head down so far, I feel that now is the time to speak.

I am quite frankly getting a mite peeved with all the hostilities.

Whilst I understand and completely support people's need for views and opinions, I think that some people are taking this a little too far. Home of Poi is NOT for personal politics and I think everyone should remember that.

I agree with some of the posts above, Flynt for example has a very good point, the site in question didn't phase me but I can appreciate some people just don't want to see that kind of thing so a warning at the top of the post would be most appreciated by all I think.

I think Rozi also has a point about newcomers, they don't want to be walking into a potential minefield with people grabbing at them to take sides. I'm not by any means saying that this is what is or has been going on but I don't think heading in that direction is a good idea. Certain people have asked me to take sides in not so many words. As for welcoming them, well I have to point out to people that of us all SmallBoy welcomes nearly every newbie here with a regularity that's quite scary, he's always made me think he has to much time on his hands but that's the kind of spirit we need here and I'm sure there are others out there who do the same.

I have noticed the change in the short amount of time that I've been here and that's not long.
I have no time for people who will think "I've been here longer so I should have more of a senior position or more of a moral upstanding.", these people are part of the problem, the popularity contests, the snide comments and the general unhappy feeling WE are putting out there is not good and needs to be stopped.

Home of Poi is about so much more than that, firstly it should be about the SPINNING, that's why it's called HOME OF POI.
It should also be about the FRIENDSHIP between the people who use this site whether they are a member or not. It should be about the VARIETY of people, cultures and ideas, it should be full of HAPPINESS and LOVE for each other and most importantly it should be full of RESPECT, not just for other users of HoP but a more overall respect for life and people in general.

Home of Poi is a website that brings people together, I have met some of the greatest people I've ever met through HoP, they are full of life and happiness and don't let HoP politics bother them so much, this is how it should be, this is how WE should be!!

We should also be concentrating on what we DO want to see on HoP, not what we DON'T.

I am deeply touched by this and feel it needs to be resolved as quickly as possible. I myself am no saint and have been guilty of posting strong opinions a few times but we all need to work together and not be so hostile to each other.

POLITICS ARE EVIL......

PERSONAL POLITICS ARE A PERSONAL EVIL

[ 07 October 2002, 23:54: Message edited by: Kurobei ]


whats up with all the limitations?

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albotross
SILVER Member since May 2006

albotross

member
Location: nsw, gunnedah

Total posts: 52
Posted: Written by :Huia


I think people can say what ever the hell they like- its only a board- not life changing or anything. I think life is for living and what you do is a totally personal choice- free from self doubt.Just live I think- we all know whats right 'deep inside'..yay for incubus.



well, yes, it is a personal choice. i think we are probably all agreed on that. however, we do not always need to SHARE our choices.
Drugs for exsample should be kept to ourselves. some of us are highly offended by the stuff. lets face it, i haven't seen any religious theads, (not that i have checked) because that sort of thing has no place on this type of site. I'm not going to say we should have a "no religion" policy, nor a "no drug" policy, but we need to remember that our own decisions CAN effect other people, and yes, if we are going to discuss them on the world wide web, we need to remember that it IS WORLD WIDE. incidentally, discussions on drug use are a bad idea, as most recreational drugs are illegal in most countries, and you just don't know who is reading.
also, i have to say, that TREAD NAMES is a big issue. i have been told to do a search, but have ALREADY DONE a search. there are so many threads with unclear names that its hard to know, and often, if you do find it, the thread hasn't been touched in 6 years. i started a thread called "injury before a show" which i thought was a good, descriptive name. i could easily have called it "coppin a floggin" but no-one would have a clue what it was about.
so if you DO want to comment on someone repeating a thread, have a look at the original. maybe they DID do a search after all...


The nite is nearly over, day is almost here. Romans 13:12

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:We do have a "no drug" policy. Members are not to discuss, endorse, or otherwise cover personal drug use. This was decided back in 2002-2003.

Impersonal discussions of drug policy, as far as I can tell, seem to be tolerated.

Ultimately, whatever Malcolm and the Mods say goes. This ain't a democracy and this ain't a paradise. It's their board and if you want to play here, you play by their rules.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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