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Forums > Social Chat > Do you believe in Happiness?

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Do you believe in happiness?

Lately I've been very happy. It's hard to put a finger on why, it's generally everything. I'm very happy within myself and my random lot in this world. There's negative aspects hanging about but I'm seeing those as lessons to learn from and not letting them drag me down to their level. I've achieved a lot of the balance that I was looking for, and that's lead to a calm mind. I'm with the Dalai Lama in that I believe that a calm mind is more open to the happiness, joy and love in the every day world.

I read a chapter of a book written by a psychologist last night that pointed out that the aim of most Western psychologists, their training, theories and anti-depressant drugs, was aimed towards relieving depression or anxiety, resolving internal conflicts or relationship problems. However there was little talk or training of therapy leading to happiness. The goal was to make the patient less sad, not to make them happy.

Rarely in our upbringing or life are we given 'lessons' in what happiness is and how to achieve it. Even those charged with our mental stability don't seem that preoccupied with it's achievement. As consumers we're driven to believe that material wealth leads to happiness, when it so often leads to disappointment and unhappiness. It seems that our societies do not really believe that our predominant emotion can be happiness, rather that we should settle for islands of happiness in a sea of resigned contentment within mediocrity.

I believe in happiness, the true, deep down, high on life happiness. I believe that for the majority of our lives we can be happy. I believe to experience this we need to make a conscious shift and effort to actively experience happiness, to really see the wonders of life.

So, what do you think? Do you believe in happiness?


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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Not only do I beleive in happiness, but I think it is my biggest ambition in life : to be happy and if possible make others happy as well very ambitious yet very rewarding

I beleive that being happy is a CHOICE as well. You don't chose what happens to you, but you chose what you do with it and how you view and live thigns .

I beleive hapiness is not easy but very simple indeed. I beleive happiness is in the little things even more than in the big ones.

And I beleive that without love there is no happiness for me.

I also think that in a yin / yang dynamic, you do need to experience some bad to recognize good and some sadness to seize happiness to its fullest.

As a teenager i felt comfortable in my sadness. It was what i knew best , i even think at some point i thought it was cool to be unhappy ...

and last bu not least, as much as many people think (and they are right) that you recognize your friends when you're in deep shit ... I STRONGLY beleive you recognize your true friends when they can actually genuinely share your happiness even when they are not so happy themselves...

SHINE ON
cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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TheBovrilMonkey
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England

Total posts: 2629
Posted:Yes, I believe in it, but I'm finding it hard to get what I mean down in words that make sense, so I'll probably be back later when I've had time to work it out.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

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Kurobei


member
Location: The Phire Kru

Total posts: 786
Posted:erm.............yes..........

whats up with all the limitations?

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I do I do I do...

*bounces in*

I agree with Cassanda and as I read her post I wanted to plagerise all of it so thats pretty much what I think but I'll leave you guys with something my Dad (bless his heart ) has always said to me:

There is only one person you have to please in life (make happy) and that is yourself. Once you do that those around you will be happy too.

Much love and happy feelings to all, Drome

Oh and Dom, compliments on the thoughtful post...


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:And to illustrate Drome Pixie's father whom i hereby salute ) let me quote mandela again and again ..

Quote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and faboulous?' Actually, who are not to be? You are a child of God. Yor playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing so enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god which is within us. It is not in just some of us, it is in all of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

beleive in happiness, be happy and others will beleive in it thanks to you

Shine on
cass


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Loving the thread, thanks Dom & thanks Cass

I do believe in happiness. But I also think that we have unfair expectations of it, and try and force it. We try to rush happiness, expecting that it is our right to be happy every day of our lives. We think if we buy this or do that we will be happy. We are always seeking happiness and rarely finding it.

Maybe if we stopped our frantic searching, we would realise that happiness is a quieter thing, more constant in our lives than we realise.

And at the same time we might realise that being sad or angry is not something to be feared either. I have heard it said that depression is often un-expressed anger. That makes a lot of sense to me. If we feel emotions at the time they arise, and let them run their course rather than prolonging them, then we won't feel so stuck.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Magnus


member
Location: Bath, UK

Total posts: 279
Posted:I am happy.

Magnus... pay it forward

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dromepixie


dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida

Total posts: 1463
Posted:I know if Glass was here he would mention something so I am mentioning it in his behalf...

Taoism

Beautiful and simple Rozi hit it on the head!

"Maybe if we stopped our frantic searching, we would realise that happiness is a quieter thing, more constant in our lives than we realise."

Fanks!
Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:According to eastern spirituality/esotericism,
it is the search for happiness that drives a person, in one form or another.
there are two types; fleeting and lasting.
you can attain the former with possesions, with desire, with Andrea Corr. The latter can only be achieved with peace. Lasting happiness is incompatible with petty desire (the fundamental buddhist tenet) and there is great humbling change to be had for lasting happiness to be achieved. For many people though, like the backstreet boys, fleeting happiness is the only happiness that they are prepared to work for.
Personally, my life is lived as i would have wished to have lived it as i am dying.
or something.
i need a shower now.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Magnus


member
Location: Bath, UK

Total posts: 279
Posted:.bender: for me, I'm pretty sure Andrea Corr would bring lasting happiness.

Magnus... pay it forward

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Raphael96
SILVER Member since Sep 2002

old hand
Location: New York City

Total posts: 899
Posted:I believe in happiness, though it is elusive.

Perhaps it is that quality that makes it so important and rare.

Raph


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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:dude, d'ya know that she's taking time off the corrs to pursue an acting career! ho hum.

back on-topic, I'd just ask if you don't equate your happiness to 9-5, a mortgage, cars, compact disc players and spawing a selfish fucked up brat to replace yourselves , then what precipitates happiness to you? do you think that goals are an end unto themselves even? is it even simpler?
/picks up notepad and lends ear
dissolving my negativity will take a lifetime, as George Costanza puts it so wisely,
"SERENITY NOW!"


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Glåss
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 2523
Posted:

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:it's all been said so well already...

nice quote i lifted from a very inspirational persons im profile:

"Just be happy, others will follow"

awesome guy wish i could share him with you all.

peace & love to all, kyri


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:I've been pretty dang happy lately. My life rocks right now. I took some steps to simplify it and it has worked wonders...

I try not to show it though, it is a misdomener in New York City.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Kali
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

member
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 577
Posted:Wow, Cass once again you were able to say exactly what I was thinking. I even have the same quote from Mandela written down somewhere.

I have found that a lot of times when I was unhappy it was because I was clinging too strongly to certain ideas on the form my happiness should take and such. As soon as I see I'm doing that and let go and say I'm going to enjoy this moment now and let whatever happens happen I always find all these new surprises that make me .

I think therefore that one of the most essential things about happiness is just being open to it.

Stepping back and rediscovering the world is also really exciting. Everyday I'm overwhelmed by little things like the fact that the sky is actually blue where I live now and the grass is green and the trees can go back for miles in some places.

I also totally agree with Cass in that the mark of a true friendship is the ability to be happy with your friends. We're all predisposed to being miserable and indulging in pity and such. The real challenge of connection is how well you can look past yourself to be with that person in their moments of happiness and glory.


Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

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Paddy


back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W

Total posts: 884
Posted:it seems Cass has beat us all to it. me included.

Up until maybe this January, I wouldn't have considered myself an especially happy person. I don't know what happened, then...as NYC said, I guess I just started stepping back every once in a while and appreciating the little things. I get up to watch the sunrise. I look out the window for hours on a rainy day. I watch a favorite movie or read a good book. nowadays life just seems so much richer. I always look for the best in every situation I encounter, because I've learned that if you look for it hard enough, you'll always find it.

and as I've mentioned in the music thread, these little moments can be crystallized by the perfect piece of music too. music is incredible.

I'm kind of rambling and I'm going to stop now before it gets any worse. happy = good.


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LuNcHbOx...(Aka. Nathan)-un-single


member
Location: beneath a cloak of self-tortur...

Total posts: 536
Posted:yeah.....
but i also belive in un-happiness....
such as despaire.....
The deep-dark recceses of despaire....
were you know that life as you know it has come to an end and you would love to just crawl into a
hole and die......
I actually crave that feeling......

-L.B.


-LuNcHbOx, Aka. Nathan...Give a man to fish, and that man knows where to come for more fish...Teach a man to fish and you have just destroyed your market base...

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Ade
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897
Posted:I believe in deep happiness and deep sadness as both being necessary... Sort of like the connections made in deep ecology.

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Sometimes there is a purity in sadness. Like when a person goes out of your life. If you are accepting of the situation, you can still feel sad without feeling bad as such.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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wink
BRONZE Member since Sep 2002

member
Location: Livermore, CA

Total posts: 18
Posted:i belive that a lot of times unhappiness comes from a "need" to have more instead of a healthy desire for it. i think that happiness can also be construed as contentedness. being content doesn't mean that you don't want to keep improving. just that if you weren't able to....that would be ok also.
I also think that it is the small things in life that matter. I mean the minute things. like a wave crashing, a bird chirping, a game of hopscotch....i don't know, anything. But you need to notice the small things. because not enough good, big things happen to keep you happy all the time. but small things are all around, all the time.


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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Really interesting reading all the replies. Thank you to all.

As bender rightly points out a lot of eastern spiritualism and theology puts forward the meaning and purpose of life as happiness, in this life.

It often seems, to me at least, that other religions such as Christianity and Islam put a lot of emphasis on achievement of an other-worldly goal, your ticket to heaven where you will be happy. And they often threaten god's wrath if you do not spend your life worshipping god in a prescribed way. In many eastern teachings the only wrath you really have to fear is your own. You are your own God. I like that, being able to say 'I am God' and know it is true.

A common core to many of these teachings is that to be happy we must learn to attain happiness by realising we're happy with what we have, not through attaining that which we want. The desire to have more money, bigger houses, faster cars, etc... is what so often causes unhappiness in ourselves and others. What we have, our friends, our health, a cool breeze on a warm day is what we should really be happy about.

Sadness is also an emotion, and in the search of happiness it'd be folly to pretend it doesn't exist. I feel sadness, loss, regret, fear, but I try not to let them become the dominant emotions within me. That way I can use the power these emotions have without wallowing in self pity too much.

Thanks again


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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:Happiness is a Kung Foo Sing!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:If I search to hard for happiness I will never find it - I must first be happy with what is around me - appriciate the specialness of every one around me.. I too belive in Tao... I'm getting there.. I am happy.

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:
Non-Https Image Link

"It's the weirdest thing. I feel like I've been in a coma for about twenty years and I'm just now waking up."

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isnt a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling starsand yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined my streetor my grandmothers hands, and the way her skin seemed like paperand the first time I saw my cousin Tonys brand new Firebirdand Janieand Carolyn.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to mebut its hard to stay mad, when theres so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like Im seeing it all at once, and its too much, my heart fills up like a balloon thats about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain and I cant feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what Im talking about, Im sureBut dont worryyou will someday."
-Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey)

oh man do i love kevin spacey movies....


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Raphael96
SILVER Member since Sep 2002

old hand
Location: New York City

Total posts: 899
Posted:American Beauty rocks.

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Magnus


member
Location: Bath, UK

Total posts: 279
Posted:Your life does indeed flash before your eyes before you die.

It's called living.


Magnus... pay it forward

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Magnus


member
Location: Bath, UK

Total posts: 279
Posted:Happiness is;

seeing the world as it truly is
accepting and loving yourself
accepting the world as it is
accepting other people as they are
being connected to God, whatever that means to you


Magnus... pay it forward

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SpArKiE


SpArKiE

*shiny shiny*
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.

Total posts: 218
Posted:happiness to me is not being at work to start with. then to learn new tricks and hang around ppl who enjoy and beleive and love what i do. to be surrounded by friends is pure happiness.

And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:happiness is a
bad haiku that belongs in
another forum.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Page: 12

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