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fireboy
An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Member Since: 23rd Dec 2000
Total posts: 252
Posted:PLEAS ADD QUOTES IM TIERED AND NEED A LAUGHT

Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves


Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Don't ask me, I'm just a girl...

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


TheBovrilMonkey
TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England
Member Since: 3rd Sep 2001
Total posts: 2629
Posted:probably not exact quotes, since my memory is completely pants:

Homer: Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Ralf: I broke my wookie!

Ralf: My cat's breath smells like catfood

Chief Wiggum: Remember ralf, if your nose bleeds, you're picking it too much.......... Or not enough.

Homer: What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Homer: Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours

Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing

Ralf: Me fail english, that's unpossible!

Those should tide you over until bender gets here and launches into Random Quote Overdrive (tm)

[ 04 September 2002, 23:03: Message edited by: TheBovrilMonkey ]


But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.


Rozi
100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:This one has been adapted slightly, but comes from my favourite character, Malibu Stacey:

"Let's makes some special cookies, for Small Boy"



It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:Snake: Prime-time TV cartoons made me what I am today.

Herb Powell: I've wasted my life in boardrooms and stockholder meetings when I could have been watching cartoons.

Moe: Heyeveryone! I need Amanda Hugginkiss!

Todd Flanders: How come we only get to go to church three times a week?

Human Fly: Human fly here.

Kodos: Come earthlings, eat. Grow large with food.

Leon Kompowski (Mr. Jackson): Which one of us is truly crazy?

Marvin Monroe: To find out how crazy you are, keep listening to the sound of my voice.

Mayor Quimby: If elected, I will not serve. But I still want to be elected.

[ 04 September 2002, 23:12: Message edited by: Arsn ]


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


the captain
member
Location: truro, cornwall
Member Since: 4th Sep 2002
Total posts: 2
Posted:rev. lovejoy. and he uh, unholied thr holy water

i love my dog as much as i love you


SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:Otto:- Man that is flagrantly false advertising
(Having walked out of Stoners Pot Palace)


Small Lardy Person In Disguise


Mal Fortune
member
Location: Scotland
Member Since: 22nd Aug 2002
Total posts: 10
Posted:Got these from a website.

The Wisdom of Homer J Simpson:

"Lord help me, I'm just not that bright."

"Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations: You may outsmart someone!"

"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close."

"Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!"

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

"Safety? But sir! If truth be known, I actually caused more accidents around here than any other employee, including a few doozies no one every found out about."

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

"Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!" (sung to the air of Flintstones theme song)

"Ignore the boy, Lord."

"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

"You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

"What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?"

"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming."

"The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."

"I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four."

"And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned."

"Being popular is the most important thing in the world!"

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."



fizzle
member
Location: Bath
Member Since: 7th Aug 2002
Total posts: 15
Posted:hehe

chief wiggum: wheres your key ralf?

ralf (referring to a rat): the pointy cat took it.

may Ralf live forever!



Prometheus
Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Member Since: 30th Jun 2002
Total posts: 459
Posted:Homer: Mmmmm, doughnuts...is there anything they can't do?

Burns: This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!

OttoMan: I think I'll do a little light reading...do you have any of those "Where's Waldo?" books? How about something where dudes send in naked pictures of their chicks?

Bart: I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants...
Grandpa: Too late

Reverend Lovejoy: Repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell, where I will eat naught but fiery hot coals, and drink naught but fiery hot cola, where blood-thirsty demons will push me in back, where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strwen over a parade of murderers and single mothers, and my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.


bender
still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:tee hee how timely! tonight's episode had a gem:
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life? Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:rofl! Thanks guys. i really needed this laugh.
props to fireboy and to all contrbutors


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


Mean not nice guy, that is friendly
member
Location: Nowhere,Anywere/the middle of ...
Member Since: 2nd Sep 2002
Total posts: 92
Posted:lol. The one i'm quite partial to is......
"Trying is the first step to failure".
_______________
Have no fear, I is here.



vaperloc...the mighty
vaperloc...the mighty

look @my member
Location: Ft worth Texas
Member Since: 12th Aug 2002
Total posts: 466
Posted:snake:she needs premium dude preeemiiuummm!!!!
homer:But I dont even beleive in jebus......help me jeeeeeebuuusss.
grandpa:i used to be with it ,then they changed what it was,now what I am with isnt it ,and what is it seems strange and scary.

Non-Https Image Link


There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?

AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all


SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:Homer: "I may not know much about god, but I think we've built a pretty good cage for him".

"Jeeeeebbbuuuussss! Why have you forsaken me!!!!?????"


Jesus helps me trick people.


SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:"Aright, Skinner, thas the las time you'll slap yer Willie around"

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show
me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."

"Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
LISA SIMPSON HUMOR

"Oh no, the dead have risen and their voting Republican."
"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."
"It's naive to think you can change a person--except maybe that boy who works in the library."
"Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!"
"It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV."
"Dad, is it all right to take things from people you don't like?"


Jesus helps me trick people.


vaperloc...the mighty
vaperloc...the mighty

look @my member
Location: Ft worth Texas
Member Since: 12th Aug 2002
Total posts: 466
Posted:homer:yo ucan use statistics t oprove anything 14%of all people know that.

There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?

AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Now I wasnt to thurough in my reading but it seams you left out the most important quote of all times!!

Homer: DOH!


Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"


falloutboy
falloutboy

remember
Location: Melbourne, Australia, Earth, M...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 433
Posted:HAHahaha... so here i am at work (clearly Not working) laughing my ass off, and now everybody is looking at me funny...

Alt-Tab is your friend : )

Homer (whilst toasted): "WE HAVE A KITCHEN!?"


-As angels debate chance and fate-
i was riding through melbourne on a midget giraffe, things were peachy.


Ade
Are we there yet?
Location: australia
Member Since: 14th Mar 2001
Total posts: 1897
Posted:Homer: Quick, someone light this monkey


jeremy
member
Location: australia
Member Since: 15th Apr 2002
Total posts: 13
Posted:i used to have a dog, he's in here somewhere.....

have a good time all the time quote:Originally posted by fireboy:
PLEAS ADD QUOTES IM TIERED AND NEED A LAUGHT



Flynt
Flynt

Intrepid Penguin

Member Since: 12th May 2002
Total posts: 5635
Posted:why is it i read these quotes and can hear exactly how the charactors said it in my head...???

Currently on the right side up of the world.


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:Too true, I think it is because we watch the simpsons to much or not enough take your pick

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"


flash fire
flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 25th Jan 2001
Total posts: 2758
Posted:Lisa: "Can't talk - coming down"
"I am the Lizard Queen. I can do anything!"

One that gets me evertime:

Homer: D'oh
Lisa: A deer
Marge: A female deer

[ 05 September 2002, 17:41: Message edited by: flash fire ]


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Ajtag
Ajtag

The occasional one...
Location: nottingham
Member Since: 30th Mar 2001
Total posts: 445
Posted:burns: il crush you like a paper cup.... dooooh

burns: it's like taking candy from a baby.... hmmmm


There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who dont.
Enjoy - A


SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:quote:Lisa: "Can't talk - coming down"
Crap! I can't believe I forgot that one. That one's a classic.


Jesus helps me trick people.


Chotys
member

Member Since: 15th Jul 2001
Total posts: 91
Posted:Homer:"Yeah I'm Stupid, Stupid Like A Fox!"


strugz
strugz

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Southampton - Possibly...
Member Since: 6th Mar 2002
Total posts: 3964
Posted:********PRESS ANY KEY**********
Homer: - Well, wheres the any key?

My favorite!


"...We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing......."


Supafly
TNT
Location: Charlotte, NC
Member Since: 27th Apr 2001
Total posts: 173
Posted:Ned Flanders: When people think of wood, they will always think of Trojans!
Mo: What are you laughing at Homer?
Homer: If I'm laughing at what I think I'm laughing at, then it's really funny!

(Episode where they parody Homer's Odyssey)



Fear the evil monkey!


elahu
member
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Member Since: 1st Aug 2002
Total posts: 3
Posted:Ralph : Tastes like burning...

Barney : (Drinking from tap while Moe is gone)
Uh-Oh, My heart stopped....
..... .....
There it goes!
(Continues drinking from tap)


*requests more Barney!*



[Nx?]
[Nx?]

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Europe,Scotland,Both
Member Since: 5th Nov 2001
Total posts: 3749
Posted:my personal fav:

groundskeeper Willie "Theres nerry can outrrun a grreased Scotsman!"

love

N


This is a post by tom, all spelling is deleberate
-><- Kallisti


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