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How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...

Total posts: 1903
Posted:This is the hardest post I've ever done.

Today I'm not afraid to say, I have cried now every day for the past four days. There are two numbers that continue to go around my head again and again. 14:46....

I guess I should really start from the begining. And by 'begining' I don't really mean the begining, more like one year ago.

Christmas 2003
My sister and I had never really been close, never the brother and sister couple that aired their issues out during their teen years, and entered adulthood as careing adults. I never knew why she didn't want to really be part of my life as I didn't know why I didn't really want to be a large part of hers. I have since found out that the reason to her not connecting to me, was that she felt jealous of me, I was the youngest, I was the one who was placed into a private school, I was the one who got the things that my brother and sister never got. However, these were the things I rebeled from.

So in 2003 it was my sister's turn to hold a 'family' christmas party. In the spirit of christmas, I asked the family if I could bring a close friend of mine to the party, with the whole family saying yes... but one. My sister did not want them to come ( and so you know, her side of the coin, this was to be one of the last Christmas's the whole family would have together, as my parents where moving away one month later.). This tore us apart, and I lost contact with her for close to one year.

December 11-12/Dec/2004

So lately I had been hearing about how my sister had been have back pains. She seemed to have been having these pains now since February '04 and was going into surgery, as the doctors had found a tumor was growing in her spinal cord.

On the the 16/Dec/2004 I felt like I needed to call her, I needed to tell her that I was sorry we hadn't spoken for a year, and that I loved her. She in return told me she too was sorry, and that she loved me, and together we both forgave everything that we had done to hurt each other through out the years, we promised to start anew.

I didn't kow at the time that this would be the last time I would hear my sister's voice.

The surgery was a sucess, and my sister did wake. She was even able to wiggle her toes, something that because of the pain she was unable to do before. However, on the 18th when she stood to begin her exercises, she stated that she felt funny, and had to lay down. As she laid apon her bed, my sister's heart stopped. For fourty-five minutes the doctors proformed CPR, until a pulse returned. A clot from her leg had dislodged, and had entered her heart, then her lung. There was a pulse, but my sister would never be the same.

On the 21st of December at 14:46, I held my sister's hand, as she passed away.

23/Dec/1973 - 21/Dec/2004
Loving wife.
Mother of two.
Loved Daughter and Sister.

Until I walk with you again.

Make that I have now cried for the past five days.

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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SILVER Member since Sep 2001


Location: Galveston, TX, USA

Total posts: 2014
Posted:Huge hugs for you and your family hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Troy, that's tragic. You've brought tears to my eyes too. Much love and support being sent your way.

Thank you so much for sharing angel

HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.


SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897

words can not express



Lillie Frog

Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:That's so sad.

You have all my sympathy.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


Mistress Aurora

Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX

Total posts: 1032
Posted:hug hug hug I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

frown hug

RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.


SILVER Member since Aug 2002


Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia

Total posts: 2615
Posted:TROY im sorry to hear that it explains why i havn't been able to phone you .

that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk


SILVER Member since Apr 2002


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 15414

Mate, Im thinking of you.



BRONZE Member since Nov 2004


Arf! Can I have a biscut?
Location: North America, Mid West, USA

Total posts: 288
Posted:hug hug hug frown

I'm weird. Just work through that and we'll all be fine.

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz


GOLD Member since May 2004


Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:sending thoughts your way

hug hug hug

Love is the law.




Location: Netherlands

Total posts: 465
Posted:Never met you,
never saw you.
Still you have my thoughts.

It's very tragic, but I'm glad that you got the chance to talk to her before she passed away.

Hmm, there's gotta be something round and shiny, I can play with


SILVER Member since Aug 2001


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:any words I can come up with are worthless... so:
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


SILVER Member since Jul 2004


Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:ubbcrying ubbcrying ubbcrying hug hug hug
... thinking of you,

Non-Https Image Link

take care

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...


BRONZE Member since Nov 2004


Location: melbourne, victoria, australia

Total posts: 2084
Posted:I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm so sorry that you lost your sister.
Take care of yourself, it's easy to forget to when you're grieving.

Again, I'm so sorry.


BRONZE Member since Apr 2003


Super Gidg!!!!
Location: Portland Oregon USA

Total posts: 8506
Posted:Through your greaving you can be happy about one thing, you were able to tell her "I love you" before she left.

My prayers are with you and your family hug hug

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.



BRONZE Member since Aug 2004


old hand
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 863
Posted:ubbcrying I wished I could do something to make you feel better; life forces us to go through such things....
I send you all love and strenght I have, hug hug hug hug hug hug

What is psychology?- Looking for a black cat in a dark room. What is psychoanalysis? Psychoanalysis is looking for a black cat in a dark room -- in which there is no cat -- but finding one anyway.


BRONZE Member since Dec 2001


Lambretta Fanatic
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 4993
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


"To be an angel, one need not have wings.
In giving love there is an equal grace.
Nor need one seek the aura in the face,
As love unveils the beauty of all things."

*Francois Couperin.


BRONZE Member since Jun 2003


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom

Total posts: 6207
Posted:there is no smile, that can help here arsn,

all you have is cast to the wind at the moment, but there is love all round you, and hope in that love.

at least you got to tell yoru sister how you felt for her, and how she felt for you

im sorry for your loss my friend, but she is not nor never will be gone, she will always be with you and with you forever

Step (el-nombrie)


Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:hug hug2 hug hug2 hug

You brought tears to my eyes as well.

hug hug2 hug hug2 hug

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


SILVER Member since Jan 2004


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172


SILVER Member since Sep 2004


Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2722
Posted:I'd like to say I don't know what you're going through, but I'm kinda close...

My mum and I had an argument the night before I was due to go to Barcalona for a week. It was about a damn suitcase of all things. She and Dad were due to go to greece in a couple of days. We shouted, I was a f***ing tw*t to her. I went to Barca, she went to greece, about 4 hours after landing she suffered a massive heart attack and died on the spot. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I still dont know whether or not I said sorry for that argument, or if we made up at all.

Arsn. You are not alone. Your tragedy is that this is so close to Christmas.

My thoughts are with you...

hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug



The Real Fryed Fish

God's illgitament son
Location: state of confusion

Total posts: 1489
Posted:You have the prayers of a stranger my your sister forever walk with the angels........

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions, and their answers would determine wheather they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was "Did you bring joy?" The second question was "Did you find joy?" (quote from Leo Buscaglia)

I believe your sisters answer for both would be yes........hug

You can't avoid pain by fencing yourself from it.
Some times you need the help of others more than anything else
But you have to let them close enough to help......
People want to be needed, I found that out too


BRONZE Member since Apr 2002


Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:hug hug2 hug

Thank you for sharing this, i know it must have been hard. It has really made me think about my own sister and mine relationship.

hug2 hug hug2

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


BRONZE Member since Oct 2002


Still wiggling
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)

Total posts: 5967
Posted:frown hug

Getting to the other side smile


SILVER Member since Nov 2003


Location: Guelph, ON, Canada

Total posts: 1389
Posted:hug You and your family are in my thoughts....

~ Bobo

wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier


BRONZE Member since Feb 2004

Skinny poi maker
Location: Moscow, Russia

Total posts: 313
Posted:Though I dont know you in personal

No words. Words cant express. Hold on...


Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:hug frown

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


GOLD Member since Aug 2004


Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:frown hug

I believe that when people die their essence is not lost into the ether, but is absorbed into the people that loved them and carried by those people until they themselves die. It is, in turn, passed on as part of those peoples essences to the people that love them. It's a continuous cycle.

It sounds to me as if your sister was much loved and her essence will be carried by many.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


SILVER Member since Oct 2003


Keeper of the Spitfire
Location: Calgary Canada

Total posts: 2317
Posted:ubbcrying ubbcrying
Arsn, I'm so sorry to hear.
My thoughts are with you.
hug hug

Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.


My hairs on fire

My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus

Total posts: 515
Posted:Words cant describe what ide like to say...

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

Hope all is well : )


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