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Location: Essex
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 108
Posted:This is not fire related and also rather lame, but I would appreciate anyones imput.

I have just discovered that a girl who really really hates me is about to move into out communal housing project. She used to be my friend but now seems to think I am the most anoying person on earth and has been bitching about me rather a lot from all reports .

I have no control over her moving in (me moving out is also not an option) and we still have mutual friends here.
I know I should just be polite and then avoid her as much as possible, but as weak as this sounds I hate the thought of other people hating me, any ideas on how to deal??

I don't like living below the tropic of Capricorn..... and now I seem to be in England...... how did I get here???


The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 8th Nov 2001
Total posts: 2523
Posted:As you asked for advice, see if this works....
(there is a fee, could you go post a piece of advice for me in my "some advice please" thread....

In a ludicrously grown up way
Arrange a (private) cup of tea or coffee with her
Talk to her directly, say this, say that your worried. If you're worried and have issues with it, then you can be sure that she is/does also. Then talk it through and work out a way together that you can live together. Just give each other a little slack and a little respect. And the solution isn't to avoid each other and pretend that you don't exist.

It will work a lot better if you. Forget any malice, anger or vengeful thoughts you have. Start anew, and just aim to be able to live together. better for your calm.

You're probably not going to end up friends like you were again, (not without a bit of time and a lot of effort). but being civil and able to live together, will work just fine.

ohhh. and never ever say or think anything bad about her to anyone, whatever happens, whatever she says about you. If people ask, then tell them, "you and she are just have different personalities". people are diffent, its that way of the world, it makes life more fun.

Good luck
Smile and bounce and swing poi



Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:(it's so crazy... it just might work!)

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Location: ringwood,nj usa
Member Since: 18th Aug 2001
Total posts: 93
Posted:i agree with glass. don't get the other people living there involved don't even worry about them. the situation is between the 2 of you.
the only 2 who can do anything about it is ya'll. if you're 100% honest no one can have a thing against you. not to mention when everythings over you feel that much better and proud of how you handled it. best of luck.

Better to Burn out than Fade out, Baby!

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:glass' advice is great, as ever

But do remember, if it doesn't work, you can make a choice about your own behaviour but you cannot be responsible for hers. Choose the way to act that means you will respect yourself.

& take care

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:if you can, confuse the shit out of her by being nice to her.
inexplicable kindness can be incredibly disarming, if given sincerely.
Karma is inescapable - like a slightly frustrated tax inspector.
Karma always pays back.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:Be REALLLLLLLY nice to her, that way (if she carries on pissing you off,) no-one will suspect it was you that pushed her over the balcony lol.

Small Lardy Person In Disguise

Location: London
Member Since: 24th Apr 2002
Total posts: 184
Posted:I shared a room with a girl who hated me for several months... she was just one of those bullies who had to pick on someone and decided that I looked ugly or something. In a way it was quite sad. Her own self-esteem relied on her having someone to bully.

I pretty much dealt with it by always being unfailingly polite to her and never bitching about her to anyone else (except my best friend in the house) though, my god, the tempation was hard to resist!

In the end she came round one day when she lost a folder containing 50 odd CDs and I turned the room upside down looking for them (I just thought it was a good opportunity to do a little tidying!) and she was so touched she decided she did like me after all. She soon found someone else uglier than me to pick on, though.

Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:I was going to put a joke on here that I thought was funny but I am sure I would have gotten flack so basically you answered your own question. Just be nice to her, no matter what she does be nice. Always say good morning, gahuntite when she sneezes. Make it so that hse just looks like an ass for being mean to you.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:failing that you could always arrange for a necromancer to bind her to you. As friends, the Undead make excellent listening companions.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always