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Forums > Social Chat > Dating and age differences

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:Not sure if this belongs here or Discussion. Feel free to move as needed.

So I'm starting to date someone who is 20. I'm 26, almost 27. I don't really see a problem except for the fact that he's not legal drinking age.

But at some point, I'm wondering if a maturity difference is going to pop up or not.

Anyone here have experiences with this sort of age difference? What do you think is a "significant" age difference? Anyone hear of the "1/2 your age + seven" rule?


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


pounce
pounce

All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Member Since: 10th Jan 2003
Total posts: 9831
Posted:can we start a Lightning and NYC bickering thread? it would be sooooo amusing. screw the comics, i'll just read that every day.

ubbangel

i love you both!!!!!!! i swear it!!!!!!

ubblol


I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:Do people under the age of 70 really use the word 'bickering'? I feel like it's in the same category as 'soda pop' and 'trousers'.

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


pounce
pounce

All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...
Member Since: 10th Jan 2003
Total posts: 9831
Posted:well what word would you like me to use instead m'dear? ubblol

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**


MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:HEY!! australia, uses the term trousers all the time. in fact, we hardly ever say pants, that i know of.



EDIT: removed something. Xopher will know biggrin. Sorry dude, i was a little annoyed at the time of posting this

EDITED_BY: MiG (1087241988)


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Post deleted by Xopher

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:And 'soda pop' is a generic, still used today by people who want to avoid the whole 'soda' (coastal US) vs 'pop' (midwest) issue...

And you can talk, you can bicker, you can talk, you can bicker, you can talk talk talk talk bicker bicker bicker--you can talk all you want to but it's diff'rent than it was.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


SpitFire
Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2002
Total posts: 2723
Posted:Congrats, Lightning!! biggrin

Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Oh, yeah, that too. Congrats. [turns poison green with envy]

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Hey MiG, so y'all in Oz say "A dog can't sweat, so to cool itself it trousers instead"?

HAAAAAAAA! Gotcha!

(speaking of immature...immature R Us)


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:uhh, we say that?

"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Dogs pant. A dog pants. I was pointing out that you do say 'pants'.

It was a very 8th grade kind of joke. Forget it.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:ohhh, it clicks now. thats prolly more me than the joke. its 6am here, and im still plugging away smile

but yeah, trousers or jeans, and i think pants is used, occasionally, all refer to lower body coverings that cover more than three quarters of the leg smile


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:NYC, is that why you wear trousers?



*runs away giggling before NYC can throw his walker at him*



Oh, and pounce, I think it's called a "battle of wits," except it's unfair because NYC is an unarmed man. wink

EDITED_BY: L i g h t n i n g (1087250762)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Whereas Lightning has an endless store of chestnuts like that one.

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: L i g h t n i n g


NYC, is that why you wear trousers?



*runs away giggling before NYC can throw his walker at him*



Oh, and pounce, I think it's called a "battle of wits," except it's unfair because NYC is an unarmed man. wink





confused

Uh... what? Is what why I wear trousers? Or are you just finding an excuse to say the word trousers while you drive your own thread perilously off topic?



I was sending love and you're responding with insults you read off a bumper sticker. You're killin' me dude.



*** Edited because it didn't make no sense before ***

EDITED_BY: NYC (1087304199)


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


Spanner
Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...
Member Since: 27th Feb 2003
Total posts: 2790
Posted:Hmm. In the UK, some of us say "oh, pants!" when annoyed. I don't suppose "oh, trousers!" has quite the same effect ubblol

Anyway. I had nothing more to add really, not having had much experience in the issue.

Except...

...at the age of 17, I was asked out by a man in his fifties. I don't think it was so much the age difference as:

a) he was my friend's father (she is younger than I am) eek
b) he was also my boss (I resigned the next day) eek
c) I was already with my boyfriend (and he knew it) eek
d) I didn't fancy him biggrin


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"


telic
I don't want a title.

Member Since: 26th Jun 2003
Total posts: 940
Posted:Just wanted to say that if the boy treats ya wrong, Mike honey, you'll not only have a scrawny chemistry teacher rushing over to do something about it, you'll also have a short law student running to your rescue.

BUT. Back to the original point of the thread. I know a ridiculously attractive guy who is twenty years older than me.. sigh.


E pluribus unum, baby.


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:Thanks, all of you for being supportive in this. hug

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:Yeah, Spanner, sexual harrassment does tend to be a turnoff...

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


vanize
vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:ok, coming late to the discussion as usual.

lightning - follow your own advice and just relax and see where it goes. I once dated a woman 8 years older than me (about 9 years ago). The only real problem I could tell that we really had is that she kept riding the age difference thing, and I finally got fed up with her acting like I was a high schooler or something (I was in grad school for heaven's sake - and no, I wasn't acting like a high schooler thank you very much!)

in the other direction, I've dated people ten years younger than me that were more mature than those that were my age. that isn't usually the case. In general I find people older than their early 20's are typically better adjusted for dealing with relationships, but that line is really an incredibly fuzzy blur. I've know 19 year olds that were way more dateable than others who were 30. You just have to go on a case by case basis. I am wary of anyone under 25 if they seem to have anything on their mind besides fooling around, but that doesn't mean I won't give them a fair chance - though they will have a little more work to do to prove themselves.

so I think I have effectively failed to add anything new to this discussion...


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:No, vanize, you've added your perspective. That's new, ipso facto. And you point out that there's a great deal of individual variation; just as men are, on average, taller than women, but some women are taller than some men, 30 year olds are, on average, more mature than 19 year olds...but there's overlap there too.

I have to say that I have no patience with 30 year olds who act like adolescents. I have MUCH more patience with typical teenage behavior when it comes from real teenagers (I tend to get out of the way, but I don't think less of them). My last BF was actually a couple of years older than me, but so childish that I ultimately couldn't stand it.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:The thing that's reassuring in this situation is that, Ann Arbor being a smallish town, I keep running into people who know him. And they all keep going off about what a great guy he is.

Basic idea is I think he picks and chooses very carefully. And I got lucky.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


Posted:Lightning, he got lucky too!


native
native

sleeping with angels
Location: anaheim CA usa
Member Since: 16th Jun 2004
Total posts: 508
Posted:i think as long as the person is above 18 and can make up there own mind who cares? if it last it last if it dosnt well at least you had fun right?

SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:We're doing great, incidentally. ubblove

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


Dentrassi
Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 9th Apr 2003
Total posts: 3044
Posted:stop boasting! ubblol

"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:Sorry, mate. hug

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


lizziekate
stranger
Location: Cornwall, UK / New Cross, Lon...
Member Since: 7th Jun 2004
Total posts: 9
Posted:i'm 20 years old and my boyfriend is 38 and gorgeous. i feel like i have all the power in the world. wink biggrin


MillenniuM
MillenniuM

Hyperloops suck

Member Since: 10th Jul 2003
Total posts: 595
Posted:Creepy off topic story: My sister's friend met her boyfriend about a year ago. She was 17. He was 34. TWICE HER AGE. Yuck. She was still in highschool, he had enrolled in college before she was born. She's moving from California (USA) to France in a couple weeks.

Don't worry about the age, worry about the maturity. 20 to 27 isn't a huge gap, and once he turns 21 it'll be even less of an issue.



Dentrassi
Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 9th Apr 2003
Total posts: 3044
Posted:Written by: L i g h t n i n g

Sorry, mate. hug



no... actually dont. its quite cute....


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.


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