meshunderlay
meshunderlay

Juggler/Spinner
Location: Hicksville, New York, USA
Member Since: 15th Sep 2008
Total posts: 612
Posted:Edit: I apologize in advance.

Not really sure if this is GOING to be a rant, but hell, that's the subject now and there isn't alot to do about it!

*ahem* Anyway, let me just first say I just need a place to vent some random (and possible silly) stuffs.

Well, let me secondly say, Happy New Year!
*sigh*
Well, the new years party I attended must have been the worst party I've ever been to. Maybe it's because I quit drinking, but I doubt it.
First a friend can't show, not their fault though, but it started me off feeling a little down, then the DJ decides to start playing 70's and 80's dance songs. Fine with me and everyone else... except the two friends of mine that did show up. They start complaining to me and then decide to leave.
On my way out, saying my goodbyes, I find out someone thought I had left in the middle of talking to them and they were upset at me. I was confused to say the least when she took my hand and kissed it... *shrug* Whatever.

Anyhow. Also, having switched schools, I have gotten the worst grades of mmy life this semester and I don't really understand HOW. Unless my teachers basically bombed the entire class, my grades not great but I wasn't failing anything, yet somehow my first semester at my new school netted me a 1.4 GPA. I think after two and a half years at my previous school I had about a 3.7. *shakes head*

I have never liked school, though I love learning, I think they just do it wrong. I'm even more fed up with school than ever before, I'm also a little (read: ALOT) tired of living.... here.

I posted this to some friends, being very serious, though I guess it was a little unreasonable to think it would work. I had asked if anyone would let me move in with them (spare room, couch, wherever) until I could find a job (I currently have none due to school schedule not allowing it), I would have left school to move whereever they lived of course, then when I could afford to get an apartment or something (or even pay them rent and stay there) I would go (or stay as it were).
I offered my "amazing" services as an all around house boy, cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn, etc...

Not surprisingly, noones said "Yeah, sure, that sounds like a great idea."

On a side note of frustration, my friends that juggle and do whatever else aren't as gung ho as I am, so i rarely practice which is probably killing any "skill" I had previously. Even if I don't talk to them, I find practicing with someone alot more enjoyable.
And now that the winter is here, and it goes from snowy to rainy to windy to a combination of all 3 on any given day, and my ceiling is at about... 6 and a half feet, even practicing poi becomes difficult.

Depressed, anxious, and lonely.

If you've read all of this, I apologize for just going off like this. Most of my friends, because I'm always joking around, have a tendancy to not take me seriously or not consider me anything but happy-go-lucky all the time.

*sigh* I'm done.

Again, sorry.

Ciao for Now
- Adam


Delete Topic

LazyAngel
LazyAngel

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Cambridge UK
Member Since: 29th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2895
Posted:hug

don't take it badly if people don't offer you a place to stay at the drop of a hat - having someone live in your house is a pretty big deal for a lot of people.

Another thing about getting a job - I don't know what it's like in the USA but in the UK its seriously difficult to find one - so people may be thinking that 'until I find a job' could be 6+ months

Sorry to hear about school - but I think it's easy to get depressed at this time of year when the weather's rubbish and you're not getting the usual physical kicks

hug

P.S Have you tried contact juggling?


Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi

Delete

brenonfire413
brenonfire413

Fire Spinner Exarch
Location: New Orleans, LA United States
Member Since: 22nd Dec 2009
Total posts: 514
Posted:Really sorry to hear that. Not sure how much advice I can offer that would be truly beneficial in your situation. It's frustrating not knowing what the next day might bring, if it's good or bad. It's nice to be relatively secure with day to day things. Don't feel too bad, a lot of people out there are doing really bad right now for whatever reasons. This winter weather sucks, especially when having the chance to go out and swing your poi around would help compartmentalize some of that frustration even for a little while. It sucks being broke all the time and being unable to do anything about it right away. And nobody likes to be one of the only people in a desperate situation when a lot of others around you appear to be doing well for themselves. People that have a decent job or don't need to work, people who have a place in their name. All I can say, and a lot of other people who read this will probably think the same, is that you've got to tough it out. Learn to roll with the punches so to speak, take whatever hell life throws at you and find a way to resist and stand firm. It won't be fun but sometimes it is all you have.

Or hey, you're in college. Start dealing bud! Find a good dealer who trusts you to front you a couple of oz.'s of some good green from north of the border and flip that as quickly as you can. You have access to some great buds up where you live, I should know, I'm from Massachusetts. Just don't smoke up your profits, and keep away from hard drugs!


"Are you sure it's safe to drink bleach?"
"Yes, bleach is 90% water, we are 90% water, therefore: we are bleach."
-Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse

Delete

aston
aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2007
Total posts: 4061
Posted:Originally Posted By: meshunderlayOn a side note of frustration, my friends that juggle and do whatever else aren't as gung ho as I am, so i rarely practice which is probably killing any "skill" I had previously. Even if I don't talk to them, I find practicing with someone alot more enjoyable.

Know exactly what you mean. Sadly not much to do about it, but keep trying. And hope that the weather gets better.

Depressed, anxious, and lonely.

Originally Posted By: meshunderlayIf you've read all of this, I apologize for just going off like this. Most of my friends, because I'm always joking around, have a tendancy to not take me seriously or not consider me anything but happy-go-lucky all the time.

Heheh. It is a problem when your natural level is what everyone else thinks of as "happy".

Not much to really say, sadly. Things will work out though. Just hang tough for a bit.


'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Delete

Zephyre Phoenix
Zephyre Phoenix

Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
Location: Lawrence, KS
Member Since: 1st Nov 2009
Total posts: 1264
Posted:Sorry bud. Yeah, School sucks. I agree with your "I love learning but they're doing it wrong" Idea. Perhaps look for a local group of spinners near where you are? There might be something there. As for Jobs, yeah job hunting sucks. But be persistent. Restaurants are good. Maybe retail if your desparate. But I hope it all works out for you. All pullin for ya.

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!

Delete

meshunderlay
meshunderlay

Juggler/Spinner
Location: Hicksville, New York, USA
Member Since: 15th Sep 2008
Total posts: 612
Posted:Hey, thanks folks.

Really, I was tired and frustrated last night, I'm doing a bit better but yeah.

Thanks for your comments.

Lazy, I did start trying to learn contact juggling. Been using a 'stage ball', it's a little light, but it's a decent size I think to learn with. And I do realize it would be ALOT for someone to offer me a place, especially since I'd be walking into it with nothing to lose, and they'd have alot to lose. But yeah, it's a hope for now. Til then I'll keep looking for a job, "trying" to save money, and eventually move.

brenonfire, it's funny because I've thought about doing that. I've also realized I 'might' smoke up my profits, lol.

Aston, thanks =). By now I'd think I'd be better dealing with 'situations', heh, but yeah, the 'rant' is part of my hanging in there process, so I don't keep it bottled up. =)

Ascilith (and all who mentioned work), yeah, beleive it or not, I've applied to retail in my area and even then were hard up for positions right now. I figured when I said "Oh, I can definately work weekends" I'd be a shoe in, hehe. But yeah, the job market is rather s&!# right now.

Anyhow. Not surprisingly there is a group of spinners I used to hang with in the city (about a 50 minute train ride away), but I haven't heard from them since.... Last winter I think. There were some emails in the spring and summer, but I don't think a meetup ever got organized. Most of them have trouble arranging play time around their work time, and none of us live in the same place. Long Island NY, Brooklyn NY, SomewhereTown New Jersey.. so making quick plans was never easy with them.


Delete

aston
aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2007
Total posts: 4061
Posted:hug

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Delete

WoodlandApple
WoodlandApple

addict
Location: Australia
Member Since: 1st Dec 2009
Total posts: 474
Posted:Originally Posted By: meshunderlayI posted this to some friends, being very serious, though I guess it was a little unreasonable to think it would work. I had asked if anyone would let me move in with them (spare room, couch, wherever) until I could find a job (I currently have none due to school schedule not allowing it), I would have left school to move whereever they lived of course, then when I could afford to get an apartment or something (or even pay them rent and stay there) I would go (or stay as it were).
I offered my "amazing" services as an all around house boy, cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn, etc...

Not surprisingly, noones said "Yeah, sure, that sounds like a great idea."




that sucks. I have an open door policy where I stay, because Ive done my fair share of couch surfing. But to be honest it has caused a lot of friction and Ive lost friends over it when people outstay their welcome, push boundaries and generally abuse this hospitality. I only still do it because Im still greatful for the times Ive had no where to stay but a mates couch, or a pitched tent in their backyard.


sticks and stones my break my bones, but ski patrol will save me.

Delete


Similar Topics

Using the keywords [year rant] we found the following similar topics.
1. Forums > Why? What's the point? What's that all about? Confused rant thread. [58 replies]
2. Forums > The Cure For Cancer -- A rant [46 replies]
3. Forums > One Year Ago [19 replies]
4. Forums > New Year Rant [7 replies]
5. Forums > New Year - new chances (so glad i unblocked you) [7 replies]

     Show more..