TallJugglermember
41 posts
Location: Texas, USA


Posted:
I love getting email jokes but a lot seem to be about how women are smarter, superior, and even stronger. But if they are so smart, why can't they figure out some of the simple truths of us men? Very simple rules to follow, and we'll be loving and content spouses. Here are 32 "Rules to live together by."1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. Yoou don't hear us complaining sbout you leaving it down.2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.3. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. (Really, really listen to this one)6. Sometimes, we are not thinking of you. Live with it.7. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as naval lint, the shotgun formation, or gulf.8. Sunday=Sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutly anything you where is fine. Really.11. You have enough clothes.12. You have to many shoes.13. Crying is blackmail.14. Ask for what you want. Lets be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!15. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calander.16. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.17. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we would be any good choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?18. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.19. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.20. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.21. Foreign films are best left to foriegners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it dosen't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway...)22. Check your oil!23. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it dosen't matter which quiz.24. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.25. All comments become null and void after 7 days.26. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.27. Let us oogle. We're going to look anyway; its' genetic.28. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.29. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.30. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.31. If it itches, it will be scratched.32. If we ask whats wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. Simple enough, right?EnjoyTJ

Oh LordForge me in the fire of your mightLet your flames burn higher and brighterMake me pure and holy in your siteAnd cleanse me with thy consuming fire


Posted:
mmmmm...delicious stereotypes...

emptysetmember
98 posts
Location: Albany, NY United States of America


Posted:
while some of these dont quite apply to me...its scary how many do...yeah...

Its all in good, clean, light producing fun.


Girl From Marsmember
168 posts
Location: Liverpool, NY, USA


Posted:
i see alot of these in n8 and all guys, i think thats the best thing about guys and why i hate girls so much most of the time (even though i am one physically). what's scary is the majority of these are things i do along with n8. this is just another thing that proves that i'm from mars.------------------the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.

the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.


SupermanBRONZE Member
member
829 posts
Location: Houston, Texas, USA


Posted:
good form TJ good form."25. All comments become null and void after 7 days."hoora...
Non-Https Image Link
Where are all the guy bashing posts??? I want to read some. Comeon girls, you need to represent. Super'------------------"Only the warrior that hears the call will know when to leave, Where to go" -unknown"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams"- Willy Wonka

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.


- Mark Twain


PeleBRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA


Posted:
Puh-leeze Super....why do we need to guy bash?Bashing is for people who feel insecure and need to elevate their standings by lowering someone else's.Women know we are more intellectual, more sensual and overall more commanding than men, and if a man has the impression he has the power over a woman, it is because she allows it to be so, therefore why do I need to lower you down to elevate myself into a standing I already know exists and am very comfortable with?
Non-Https Image Link

Non-Https Image Link

Non-Https Image Link
------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK


SupermanBRONZE Member
member
829 posts
Location: Houston, Texas, USA


Posted:
i knew pele wouldnt let me down..... hahahaha [image]https://www.homeofpoi.com/ubb/images/icons/grin.gif">Super'------------------[/image]"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams"- Willy Wonka

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.


- Mark Twain


N8member
336 posts
Location: NY, USA


Posted:
heh heh heh.Everybody has a crutch. One of my many is laughing at emails like that. Super- I second your Hoora!
Non-Https Image Link
Nice post TJ sure did make me laugh.

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...


fireflymember
52 posts
Location: germany


Posted:
you get 10 points from germany!we have to face reality.......

frank bentzin


Tsumimember
32 posts
Location: SF CA USA


Posted:
LOL Pele

MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,923 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
I just found this and it made me giggle.



It's also remarkable for being a thread that was started before I joined.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


Fire_MooseSILVER Member
Elusive and Bearded
3,597 posts
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, USA


Posted:
hahah nice find doc.

O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!


Phyrecatmember
17 posts
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia


Posted:
hehehehehe, I love it! Especially number 17 smile

There is no better way to teach yourself concentration than learning staff next to a topless female.


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