Forums > Social Discussion > Following your own advice
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Okay, my friend and I thought it would lots of fun to do a fortune telling thing at an event we went to this past weekend.
Mine made little sense but it got me thinking about alot of things, which is what it's supposed to do.
Then in talking with PK today I realized that while I've been handing out advice, one specific piece in fact, to my clients and students for years that somewhere along the line, I got lost and stopped following it myself.
So now I'm kind of stuck thinking on it, trying to figure out how to go forward and re-evaluate. Oi!
In speaking with another friend about a completely different topic, I realised she was doing the same thing. Not even remotely practicing what she preaches.
How often do you do that? Say one thing, do another? Give advice you don't take?
When you figure it out do you adjust or just keep going?
Okay, my friend and I thought it would lots of fun to do a fortune telling thing at an event we went to this past weekend.
Mine made little sense but it got me thinking about alot of things, which is what it's supposed to do.
Then in talking with PK today I realized that while I've been handing out advice, one specific piece in fact, to my clients and students for years that somewhere along the line, I got lost and stopped following it myself.
So now I'm kind of stuck thinking on it, trying to figure out how to go forward and re-evaluate. Oi!
In speaking with another friend about a completely different topic, I realised she was doing the same thing. Not even remotely practicing what she preaches.
How often do you do that? Say one thing, do another? Give advice you don't take?
When you figure it out do you adjust or just keep going?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
Pele, I'm always giving people advice which I don't follow.
I tell people not to worry about things, to stay calm, that everything is always ok in the end.
And I sit worrying and worrying away.
I feel like a hypocrite!
Pele, I'm always giving people advice which I don't follow.
I tell people not to worry about things, to stay calm, that everything is always ok in the end.
And I sit worrying and worrying away.
I feel like a hypocrite!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Ohh yeah I always give advice but am stupid enough not to follow it.
Especially to friends who are in bad relationships....
I have a couple of friends who have either been in or are still in abusive relationships and I have tried to help them get out or have helped them get out.
Some of the advice I give would be good for me to listen to in even just a relationship that has gone a bit sour....
Ohh yeah I always give advice but am stupid enough not to follow it.
Especially to friends who are in bad relationships....
I have a couple of friends who have either been in or are still in abusive relationships and I have tried to help them get out or have helped them get out.
Some of the advice I give would be good for me to listen to in even just a relationship that has gone a bit sour....
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
I think that's almost a natural phenomenon. I think you have to be aware of it before you can even potentially change it. I say "potentially" because it's always easier said than done. Our most difficult problems are generally born out of our emotions, and emotions aren't always rational, which is what makes it hard to take our own (rational) advice. Personally, when I am talking with someone and giving them advice on an issue I know I also struggle with, I own up to it. There's something about the comfort of knowing you aren't the only one who struggles with something that (at least for me) makes it easier to follow through on a good suggestion.
I think that's almost a natural phenomenon. I think you have to be aware of it before you can even potentially change it. I say "potentially" because it's always easier said than done. Our most difficult problems are generally born out of our emotions, and emotions aren't always rational, which is what makes it hard to take our own (rational) advice. Personally, when I am talking with someone and giving them advice on an issue I know I also struggle with, I own up to it. There's something about the comfort of knowing you aren't the only one who struggles with something that (at least for me) makes it easier to follow through on a good suggestion.
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
Good Ol' Yarn For Hair
422 posts
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
422 posts
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Posted:
I think it comes from the differing perspectives that make it easy to give advice that you yourself don't follow.
Say, a friend of your's is having issues "seeing the forest through the trees." That's because they're really close to the situation. But, you, with an outside perspective, can offering constructive advice, because you are looking at things a little more objectively (though, not always ENTIRELY objectively- just that you have a bit more external of a perspective than someone who's right on top of a situation). Flip things around, and, when you're thrown into the same situation, you can lose perspective, because things become very subjective to you.
..... if that makes any sense to you.
I think it comes from the differing perspectives that make it easy to give advice that you yourself don't follow.
Say, a friend of your's is having issues "seeing the forest through the trees." That's because they're really close to the situation. But, you, with an outside perspective, can offering constructive advice, because you are looking at things a little more objectively (though, not always ENTIRELY objectively- just that you have a bit more external of a perspective than someone who's right on top of a situation). Flip things around, and, when you're thrown into the same situation, you can lose perspective, because things become very subjective to you.
..... if that makes any sense to you.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
GOLD Member
Lv15 Ranger
1,489 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Lv15 Ranger
1,489 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted:
That makes perfect sense, somtimes I find in my own experiences taking a step backwards or thinking about it a different way allows me to better evaluate the situation and decide on a better course of action.
As for the initial topic, I often offer advice that I myself don't follow. Mainly because I don't often find myself in those situations, but also because I act in a slightly different way to my friends. If I find myself in the exact same situation, with the same goals and experience, then I'll probably follow my own advice, but that's hardly likely.
That makes perfect sense, somtimes I find in my own experiences taking a step backwards or thinking about it a different way allows me to better evaluate the situation and decide on a better course of action.
As for the initial topic, I often offer advice that I myself don't follow. Mainly because I don't often find myself in those situations, but also because I act in a slightly different way to my friends. If I find myself in the exact same situation, with the same goals and experience, then I'll probably follow my own advice, but that's hardly likely.
Kupo!
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
I think there's a huge difference between "knowing what the right thing to do" is and "doing it."
Often when we are looking for advice, it's because we don't actually know what our options are. That's why advice is helpful.
Once we do know all our options, it's up to the individual to decide. I think when we don't "follow our own advice" it's because we understand what is probably best but chose a different path.
I sometimes feel badly for SOME of my impulsive friends because I don't feel that they are as happy as they could be because they're always choosing instant gratification which is often so fleeting.
Then again, they do tell good stories.
I think there's a huge difference between "knowing what the right thing to do" is and "doing it."
Often when we are looking for advice, it's because we don't actually know what our options are. That's why advice is helpful.
Once we do know all our options, it's up to the individual to decide. I think when we don't "follow our own advice" it's because we understand what is probably best but chose a different path.
I sometimes feel badly for SOME of my impulsive friends because I don't feel that they are as happy as they could be because they're always choosing instant gratification which is often so fleeting.
Then again, they do tell good stories.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
It looks more easy from the outside than it feels from inside... and often I find myself talking about others, when in reality I am speaking of myself. Having said this I am pretty good in subconsciously sensing things in others, that de facto are mine (because I am an expert in them).
In the past I met some very good counselors, which had pretty intense problems themselves. Reason for that being is that a) nobody is perfect b) we all seem to need problems to overcome and grow c) apart from being altruistic, we give good advice often to see what the (right) outcome might be... an d) we have to experience some situations first hand, as not to speak out of the box anymore (this also applies to ignoring good advice).
To answer your question, Pele: No, I am not following every good advice I dispense. Over the years I find that every situation and person is different - I tell people to stay cool, but then again I do have some temper myself... To cut another long story short: I am getting better in living up to my own wisdom.
It looks more easy from the outside than it feels from inside... and often I find myself talking about others, when in reality I am speaking of myself. Having said this I am pretty good in subconsciously sensing things in others, that de facto are mine (because I am an expert in them).
In the past I met some very good counselors, which had pretty intense problems themselves. Reason for that being is that a) nobody is perfect b) we all seem to need problems to overcome and grow c) apart from being altruistic, we give good advice often to see what the (right) outcome might be... an d) we have to experience some situations first hand, as not to speak out of the box anymore (this also applies to ignoring good advice).
To answer your question, Pele: No, I am not following every good advice I dispense. Over the years I find that every situation and person is different - I tell people to stay cool, but then again I do have some temper myself... To cut another long story short: I am getting better in living up to my own wisdom.
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
My easy way out of any advice I dont follow, "Don't do what I do and you wont die."
Seriously, I never follow my own advice. I should but I dont. I lecture people about car racing all the time. Maybe its because I grew up on a dirt track and I have had my ribs broken from a crash but I still go out and race down the highway. Of course the more fines I rack up the slower I am starting to go..... At least something is working for once.
My easy way out of any advice I dont follow, "Don't do what I do and you wont die."
Seriously, I never follow my own advice. I should but I dont. I lecture people about car racing all the time. Maybe its because I grew up on a dirt track and I have had my ribs broken from a crash but I still go out and race down the highway. Of course the more fines I rack up the slower I am starting to go..... At least something is working for once.
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