KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Ian Paisley gets accidentally cyrogenically frozen for 50 years. When he wakes up, the first question from his big, angry mouth is:

"What the hell happened?" His doctor comes over and says: "Good afternoon Mr. Paisley. You have been cyrogenically frozen after for 50 years, and I have good news and bad news for you." To which Iain replies: Whats the bad news?" "Well," says the doc, "Ireland invaded England 25 years ago,Gerry Adams is Prime Minister, and Mary McAleese has been crowned Queen." "Good sh*te!" cries Ian. "Whats the GOOD news?" "Rangers beat Celtic last night" says his doc, with a
smile. Ian sits back and smiles. "What was the score?" His doc turns to him and says: "Three goals and ten points to one goal and nine points"

Tee hee, Just to warn you - You won't get this if you know nothing about Ireland / gaelic football. So really it is just a self indulgant post by me cause I think it's funny Edited because as Coleman rightly pointed out I wrecked the punchline

[ 20. March 2003, 04:20: Message edited by: Kat ]

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


Astarmember
1,591 posts
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada.


Posted:
What is the scoreing system in this crazy football?

KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Taken from www.gaa.ie

Gaelic Football can be described as a mixture of soccer and rugby, although it predates both of those games. It is a field game which has developed as a distinct game similar to the progression of Australian Rules. Indeed it is thought that Australian Rules evolved from Gaelic Football through the many thousands who were either deported or emigrated to Australia from the middle of the nineteenth century. Gaelic Football is played on a pitch approximately 137m long and 82m wide. The goalposts are the same shape as on a rugby pitch, with the crossbar lower than a rugby one and slightly higher than a soccer one.

The ball used in Gaelic Football is round, slightly smaller than a soccer ball. It can be carried in the hand for a distance of four steps and can be kicked or "hand-passed", a striking motion with the hand or fist. After every four steps the ball must be either bounced or "solo-ed", an action of dropping the ball onto the foot and kicking it back into the hand. You may not bounce the ball twice in a row. To score, you put the ball over the crossbar by foot or hand / fist for one point or under the crossbar and into the net by foot or the hand / fist in certain circumstances for a goal, the latter being the equivalent of three points.

Each team consists of fifteen players, lining out as follows: One goalkeeper, three full-backs, three half-backs, two midfielders, three half-forwards and three full-forwards. The actual line out on the playing field is as follows:

GoalKeeper
Right Corner Back Full Back Left Corner Back

Right half back centrehalf back Left half back
midfielder midfielder
Right Half forward centre half forward left half forward
Right Corner Forward Full Forward Left Corner Forward

Players wear a jersey with their team colours and number on the back. Both teams must have different colour jerseys. The goalkeepers' jerseys must not be similar to the jersey of any other player. Referees normally tog out in black jerseys, socks and togs.

Goalkeepers may not be physically challenged whilst inside their own small parallelogram, but players may harass them into playing a bad pass, or block an attempted pass.

Teams are allowed a maximum of five substitutes in a game. Players may switch positions on the field of play as much as they wish but this is usually on the instructions of team officials.

Officials for a game comprise of a referee, two linesmen (to indicate when the ball leaves the field of play at the side and to mark '45'' free kicks and 4 umpires (to signal scores, assist the referee in controlling the games, and to assist linesmen in positioning '45' frees).

A goal is signalled by raising a green flag, placed to the left of the goal. A point is signalled by raising a white flag, placed to the right of goal. A '45'/'65' is signalled by the umpire raising his/her outside arm. A 'square ball', when a player scores having arrived in the 'square' prior to receiving the ball, is signalled by pointing at the small parallelogram.

You can download the official playing rules from the GAA Website

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
wicked!

but your mentioning 'real' football before you tell the joke kinda gives away the punchline...

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


KatBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)


Posted:
Ah Feic

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


DeepSoulSheepGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,617 posts
Location: Berlin, Ireland


Posted:
I would consider crazy football to be relatively normal compared to Hurling which is simaler but with sticks and really hard ball. Must the the sports men with the least teeth in the world.

I live in a world of infinite possibilities.