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brittle
brittle

member
Location: leicester, uk
Member Since: 27th May 2006
Total posts: 131
Posted:just a moment ago my best mate got majorly beat up. didn;t realise how much this would affect me till i just spoke to someone. hes usually a rearly dtong chacter and to see him shook up is rearly wierd. but the major fact is that i wasnt there to help him. dont know why im so shook up i dint get beat up!

at the mo i coping by sinking into my music.

any advice?


What to do in case of fire??? LET IT BURN!

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Survivor's guilt? Even though you weren't part of events do you feel guilty that he got harmed but you were okay?



Helplessness that you weren't there to help him. Everyone prides themselves on that they will always have their friends back if they ever get into trouble. But you weren't. It wasn't your fault. You didn't tell these d*ckheads to beat up your friend.



You can't change anything that happened so best help your friend deal with the aftermath. Be the one to cheer him up. Not forcefully but just be natural. Stay with him when he's out and about again but don't crowd him. Just be there for him.



It may also have shaken you up to the fact that random beatings don't just happen to other people in the news - a reality check if you will. So just be vigilant when walking around at night but don't let your fear control you.



It the situation arises where you ARE in the same situation as him, either with him or on your own. Do you best to walk away. You really should value your thumb or cranium over your pride but don't pull your punches if it comes to that...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:did they rob his money/phone???

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:Run, scream - do something to release the tension, avoid it settling in your body. Nothing you could have done.

Comfort your buddy - Jux has pretty much summed it up for me.


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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UCOF
UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:No really Ravehead, what is actually wrong with you? umm



Brittle: two friends of mine got beaten up a while ago for no reason whatesoever. It was really, really harsh. Seeing one of them in hospital with a broken jaw was when it really affected me frown The truth is, there are total and utter c***s out there who do this sort of thing. There always will be. ubbcrying The only thing we can do is support the victims and make them as right as rain as soon and quickly as we can.

As FireTom said, there is nothing you could have done so do not blame yourself.. Had you been there, then there would now be two beaten up people. hug2



Its a shame, but its a fact of life frown


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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:i was only asking if his mate had been mugged rolleyes

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:@rave: I get your point as this would add to the damage done and I'm not suspecting you being coldhearted - but the thing that really matters in this is his physical and mental condition... rolleyes

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:mate i know how bad it can be seeing a mate taking a slap and being helpless to stop it so i truely do feel for him as well as his mate that got the slap.

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brittle
brittle

member
Location: leicester, uk
Member Since: 27th May 2006
Total posts: 131
Posted:hey guys cheers for the advice, been round to see him and hes doin good, isnt as bad as it first seemed, so its all good.:)

What to do in case of fire??? LET IT BURN!

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