the henna lady Location: WNY, USA Member Since: 15th Dec 2000 Total posts: 6193
Posted:Since he is moving out anyway, and I don't think he would know what Poi is if it clocked him upside the head, I can tell this story.
PWB lives nextdoor to this young guy, well call him "Joe" for the sake of clarity. Now, "Joe" is actually a nice guy publically. All of our dealings with him are fine, he is pleasant, hospitable, and generally a good guy. "Joe" has a girlfriend, we will call her "Lara". "Lara" is nice, not the brightest bulb in the bunch but pleasant and together, publically, they seem good together.
Then comes when they are alone and don't realize the walls are paper thin, and he screams at her, calls her names, tells her to shut the f**k up, etc...well, you get the hint. And this happens at all hours of the day/night.
And here's the thing. There was a time when I was "Lara". There was a time when I allowed someone to put me down and beat the crap out of me in everyway possible. And do you know what I realized? That I was pissed at "Joe" only for being loud and waking us up, I was more angry at her for allowing it to happen, mainly because I saw myself in her and hated the fact that I allowed that to happen to me. It was strange. I suddenly seemed to realize how much I allowed to happen to me, and what it took to really regain myself, so to speak. Only from looking at it from the outside did I see what I must have looked like to not only strangers but also people who loved me and it is really a revelation. I wonder what I look like now to those around me, and when I am with my friends to absolute strangers. Do you ever wonder this? What do you look like from another perspective? It was also strange to see how others are in the same situation I was in, and how things seem to come full circle. Hmmmm..makes me want to hum "It's a small world"....
Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir "Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall "And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
Rozi 100 characters max... Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia Member Since: 11th Jan 2002 Total posts: 2996
Posted:It is amazing what we allow to happen to ourselves. My sister's current man has the ability to make me feel as dumb as a post. Even when I am being very rational and together.
Example: He has organised something for her birthday, and arranged it all with my family. I was unsure of whether he had told my sister. As such, when we were all out for dinner together and my sister asked whether I would like to do something that on that date, I didn't make mention of this other engagement. Afterwards, I called him privately to confirm whether she knew about it, and whether I would need to re-schedule with her on some pretext. All perfectly reasonable.
And yet, he managed to make me feel as though I was silly for even asking. He already had taken this into account in his planning, and he seemed to imply that I was being stupid for even asking.
He has a knack of doing this. And I have decided that I am not going to allow it again. My actions were perfectly reasonable, so why on earth should I feel stupid?
It is all a decision about what you will accept, and how you are going to respond to a situation.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...