Forums > Social Discussion > excellent article about abusive relationships

Login/Join to Participate

Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:I just came accross this on another forum and thought it was worth sharing:

http://www.drjoecarver.com/loser.html
br>
It lists a lot of possible warning signs for someone who will become physically or emotionally abusive, and has a three-stage plan for getting out of the relationship with an abusive partner.

I wish i'd had this to send to a friend of mine before she got too deeply involved in her relationship and cut off contact with all her friends.

I really hope this can help you, or warn you, or that you can pass it on to someone close to you who could use it!


everyone's unique except me

Delete Topic

emmaino


member
Location: Wilts

Total posts: 57
Posted:It's horrible. Hope i never need to recognise these signs... but i can see how it would be helpful in spotting these losers from a good distance. Very thorough and clear, I'm sure it will help someone.

Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Its not so simple tho, many people see whats going on and still can't stop it for x y or z reasons... the reality can overwhelm in many different ways.

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

dani_babyboo
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

dani_babyboo

addict
Location: Cannock, staffordshire, United...

Total posts: 667
Posted:some get involved and not know they are abusive till months down the line when suddenly your living with them and trapped and theres no way out

signs are all very well but as they say love is blind and when an abusive person is the best thing ever to make you fall for them and then trap you with that they manipulate you and its hard to see it and then you cant get out


enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

stepped up promotions

Delete

Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:I'm not trying to suggest it's simple... but you'd know that far better than I would Dani, I read your story in another thread hug

I just hope it could be helpful to someone anyway: Maybe the exit strategy could help for someone who's realised what's going on and wants out, or maybe it can convince friends and family to be there for the victim in the relationship even if they've been pushed away.


everyone's unique except me

Delete

TheEtherbunny


newbie


Total posts: 11
Posted:I'm gonna step out and say something that, as a newbie on this board, I probably shouldn't...

I was involved in an abusive relationship. We both knew it was bad, he even tried taking an anger managment course and was really working on it but his efforts we not enough. We split up for about six months and then got back together. He felt that he had learned and I was nervous but gave it a chance. Now, we are very happy together and our relationship has no abuse or signs of it. We've been together for years and are planning on getting married some time soon.

I am far from defending abusive relationships, rather we are evidence that with help and a lot of effort, they can work out to be healthy relationships. We are likely to be in the minority as far as recovery goes - from what we have seen, most couples never recover, I'm just saying that recovery can happen.


Delete

Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:That's really good to hear Bunny, congrats on the upcoming wedding!!!

everyone's unique except me

Delete

TheEtherbunny


newbie


Total posts: 11
Posted:Written by: Nephtys

That's really good to hear Bunny, congrats on the upcoming wedding!!!



Thank you!

Again, a disclaimer:

As I said before, staying together when there is domestic violence is not something that I recommend when there is abuse- domestic violence is a dangerous situation and should not be taken lightly nor should hopes of a good outcome rule over personal safety.

We survived because we had professional help and lived apart until the "problem" was under control. Those things I do recommend for couples with domestic violence issues.


Delete

Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:I think part of what I was trying to get at is that people who arn't part of those relationships should take a good long look and pay some careful attention to when they see echos of those signs in friends or family....

*that said* and its important, but... there's also this thing called "occam's razor"

One ex's mother became convinced that I must be abusive because I hardly ever talked to her and her son stopped being social with her when I was around. Worrying, of course, except she never seemed to grasp that her:
constantly badgering him about how I wasn't good enough for him and he shouldn't date (a) poor people and (b) people who didn't have technically jewish parents or the fact that she spent weeks refusing to talk to me except in monosyllables to "show her disaproval"
had anything to do with it.....

We won't talk about how that one ended. If they like their parents, you are in fact dating their parents, too. Ho hum. Sorry for the rant, I did have a point as well.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete


Similar Topics

Using the keywords [excellent article abusive relationship*] we found the following similar topics.
1. Forums > excellent article about abusive relationships [8 replies]
2. Forums > Abusive Relationships - why? (and how to get out, please) [62 replies]
3. Learn > Fire Training > Fire training and safety > First Aid for Burns *help/resource are probably the most common  this article aims to teach performers how to...
4. Forums > Ethics vs. Relationships [34 replies]
5. Forums > Your diet and your relationship... a potential conflict? [74 replies]

     Show more..