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Fee


member
Location: Brisbane (South) Qld Aussie :P

Total posts: 80
Posted:Apparently the 2 go hand in hand as today i found that i was suffering "Moderate Depression" now which came first.. the chicken (anxiety) or the egg (depression) who knows. Its been four years since my first anxiety attack and although the road is far from smooth... a few potholes have been filled in along the way. Today i started reading a new book recommended to my by my case worker at crs (a rehab program helping return to workforce etc) its called "Feeling good, the new mood therapy" basically its all about depression and drug free methods of "self help".

After reading halfway thru the book i have realised (sorta) where my problems start.. and the unexplained moodswings/crying etc now have an explaination. I have hurt many close friends due to my own clouded thoughts and minced words... some of you have seen this first hand... others "thru the grapevine" and for all of it im truely sorry. I realized today that in the past it was much easier to blame someone than to admit i needed help, now the hardest part is to work thru my thoughts and reverse the self inflicted damage in my mind. Its not going to be easy thats for sure... but i WILL get there, Monday is yet another meeting with my case worker... and tuesday is my first meeting with the psychologist so fingers crossed. The case worker is in place to help me find treatment, then help with work efforts and even university studies. So when my heads all sorted out... and the anxietys are gone... and free to travel around like a "normal" person lol, ill be on my way to UQ St Lucia to study marine biology (i think thats the silver lining part Well..... for now i must be off... its hard putting this book down and its getting close to my bedtime.

Sweet dreams everyone
for tomorow is a brand new day

Fee


Why do you like to confuse me so?

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Fee


member
Location: Brisbane (South) Qld Aussie :P

Total posts: 80
Posted:oppsie...

the book is by David D.Burns, M.D.
In case anyone wanted to check it out


Why do you like to confuse me so?

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:Fee - I remeber your post from a while ago - I think I wrote that we were locked by our own silliness - It's taken a good few months for me to get over my 'hurggghhh - I can't leave the house - I can't go to a place where there are lots of people and as for meeting new people and chatting to them? Forget it!

It's a long road my love - it most deffanatly CAN be done - and by the sounds of it - you are doing everything right! Well done for finding the strenght to start and keep going.. keep focused on what you ultimately wanting..

If you want to PM me anytime about anything, please feel free.

Take care and stay positive


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Fee,

Here's to hoping that you manage to bootstrap yourself out of it!

I'm glad to see that your case worker isn't instantly pushing you to go on Celexa. That's what they'd do in this country.

Do you do any yoga or meditation? If not, I'd highly recommend starting.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:Oh yeah .. I got put on betablockers ( I twitch) and all sorts of stuff to help me sleep (can't remember) but I've stopped all of that - yoga and meditation are the way forward..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Frazzle


member
Location: Worcestershire,England

Total posts: 105
Posted:You could try Flower Remedies or essential oils - I`m an aromatherapist and have had some good results for anxiety/depression using Rose,Clary Sage,Jasmine,Geranium,etc. on my clients.
And I agree that yoga and meditation are good ways to combat it too.


Happiness is a journey,not a destination

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Fee,

I know exactly what you are going through. I wasn't going to post this, although I was quite open about this when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. But I think posting this will help.

About 6 months ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I left my job, and split with my partner. I have made it into a big adventure, I am setting up my own business, and am meeting some amazing people . But at the same time, there are days when I run out of puff.

I pleased and frightened to say that I have almost reached the end of my course of medication. The one that made me projectile vomit when I first started on it, so it is really powerful stuff. I sometimes worry that if the medication goes, will the depressed feeling come back? But at the same time I know I have done so much work thinking about my family, my career, and my relationships. I believe I am at a stage where I can handle situations that would trigger things.

There is hope. It takes time though. Friends of mine who have also had depressive illnesses look at me and are amazed because they believe I have ploughed through this so quickly. But I know it is just a beginning, a good one, but just a beginning. From here I have to manage the rest of my life.

If you need to talk, send me a PM. And take care


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 15414
Posted:@the two of you...

rozi...it takes a fuck load of guts to do what you just did and i should know...i posted a very meaningful and confessional one on the ill fated sexy spinners thread which i dont think i can say again cos it just seemed like the right place and time to do it...but trust me..a lot of guts...well done


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Glåss
DIAMOND Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2523
Posted:Boing boing bump, bounce. Weeeeeeeee. Splat.
Oops dodgy landing
Hiya,

Just dropped in to say, mmmm. Depression is a bit of a bummer, I’d say, it can really ruin your day. (notice the casual style with which he can flippantly joke about it…..now, ugh. If you can’t laugh about your own pain what can you do ). Fee, I don’t claim to understand your situation, because I believe that depression is a very personal and lonely hole. But I can say that I spent a bit too long down one of those rubbish holes and yep. its pants.

So eer. just to say this, it may take a long time, it may take 5 years, but one day, slowly, you WILL come out the other end of it, and when you do you, well ...

Every one of my favorite people and most lovely people that I know and the happiest most positive people I know have experienced some heavy depression and darkness in the past.

I reckon when you do come out of it, you will really know what its like to enjoy and value life.

So have a bit of faith. Life is beautiful
Ohh pele said that in that great thread “life is beautiful”, oh I like that thread, that one of my favorite hop posts ever, a great read.

and From “Conversations With God: book one” Neil Donald Walsh – very good I recommend it. The theory that nothing can exist without its opposite. It is not possible truely understand happiness and joy without also having experienced

Orange left a post round here a month or so back about how “we are also the manically happy’s” :tickled:the opposite, sadness and despair.

I agree with them people above, Yoga very good, as they say “to still the chatter in my mind” movement meditation also very good of me that means poi, staff, dance or contact.

Whoopwoop hiya miss stix, long time no see, I guess I’ve bee hiding in technical and out in the shire. Hope that things are groovy with you.
Err and Rozi, there a little flag next to you're message saying that i should reply soon.

And hugs too, another kinda contact.

:hugs:
flying back out again. poing poing

Drew


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SickpuPpy


SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

Total posts: 1100
Posted:I used to suffer from bouts of severe, and almost crippling depression, what helped me was tai chi, and chi kung. Any time I'm feeling down I just start into some chi kung exercises and in twenty minutes I'm feeling like James Bond (or just really really peaceful, one of the two).

It's actually why Tai chi and Chi kung were created. The Chinese hypothesised that that all illness is a byproduct of blockage of the body's natural energy flow. Depression, and cancer especially, as well as things like colds, and stuffy noses and joint/muscle aches. Chi Kung and Tai Chi were created as methods of moving the energy around through your body and knocking out the blockages so you are healthy and at peace again.

I hear Falon Gung is also really good but I haven't had time to find the actual exercises, as most of the literature is about the torture and opression of Falon Gung practitioners by the chinese government.


Jesus helps me trick people.

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Puk
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia

Total posts: 2615
Posted:
Tomorrow look at yourself (in the mirror ) and say Im beautiful.
The next say Im Sweet. Etc

There are many different way's to beat your problems if you need someone different to bounce things off email me (I've been there).

Anyperson can acheive anything if they don't have fear in their heart


that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

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SpArKiE


SpArKiE

*shiny shiny*
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.

Total posts: 218
Posted:huggles Fee

as others have kinda said- things take time... but u are on the right start... gettin that 1st bit of help is always the hardest... well it was for me. admittin i was goin insane (totally different story ppl... ) was hard. but with support from freinds and family i got back to sanity.

you have lots of great friends and im sure your family are great too, and of course your b/f... so it'll make it a heaps easier than if you were goin thru it by your self.

marine biology huh? good luck girly!!! thats good fun thats stuff...

when ppl put their minds to sumfin- they can do it... and i know you can and will, Fee!



And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.

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Fee


member
Location: Brisbane (South) Qld Aussie :P

Total posts: 80
Posted:Hey sparks... the poor bf as i call him, i spent an hour on the phone to him b4 posting on here yesterday... appologizing for being a bitch (i thought i was just moody) it was easier for me to say "im annoyed coz hes an asshole" (book says labeling and over generalization coz hes not that at all) rather than saying "ok im a lil upset and its really not his fault at all". The book was/is a great insight as to what is actually going on in my head... and helps me understand where these "emotions" and outbursts come from.. so i was quoting a lot of the book to him and now he finally understands why ive been the way i have. As for Marine biology... wonder if the ole brains up to it lol.. i havent studied a single bit since graduating highschool 4yrs ago. Moving on... so many posts i want to reply to at once lol.

Thanx everyone for your kind words and support :)Even though depression is a common thing these days... you cant help but feel that its only happening to you and no one understands... that is until someone else has said they'd been there.

This will work better in point form me thinks lol... im NOT writing a book... serious

MikeGinny- Yoga nearly broke my back and amused my lil sis... but ive started doing it again. and Meditation... well still living at home with both parents... several mad animals and not to mention an 8yr old sis.. i dont find the peace lol. There was actually no mention of medication with my case worker... he just said go see Diane (psychologist) and in the meantime read this book.

Frazzle- Have tried a few aromatherapy methods.. they worked but only temporarily.. but willing to try again

(ok so point form isnt really working)

Rozi- thankyou for your guts to tell your story... it was hard for my to tell mine so... *hugs* bwt i recommend reading the book

Glass- i dont care how long it takes.... i just wish it would hurry up lol

Ivan Newton- i said it... i said "im beautiful" then mumbled "only on the inside...but i do have nice eyes" so yeah it was kinda positive... a step in the right direction lol

SickpuPpy-hmm never looked into tai chi.. mainly coz there is this total idiot on cable that runs a show.... he drives me insane lol

Ok.... almost a novel there... so i shall leave for now as its time to make some xmas pressies

*hugs to everyone*
Fee


Why do you like to confuse me so?

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:The looking in the mirror thing is a good one - you can do that each morning and each nite..

With regards to having no time.. whe you lay in bed at night - say a few words like - I am a nice person - I am a beautiful person - All my friends love me as I love them - I am happy being me - Tomorrow is going to be a good day... etc and stuff like that for about 5 mins under your breath..

One of the things that has helped me..

PMA - Positive mental attitude..

Love and fluff

Oh and never be in a rush to get anywhere - frustrating I know - but kharma won't let it happen untill you are ready..

[ 29. November 2002, 01:57: Message edited by: MisStix ]


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Puk
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia

Total posts: 2615
Posted:Well fee , (And don't forget eye's are the window to one's soul )It's start in the right direction and what ya talking about. I've seen a photo of you um yum! and a big...... .

Anyperson can acheive anything if they don't have fear in their heart!.


that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

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ms nelson


member
Location: this planet, mostly

Total posts: 12
Posted:depression is yucky, for me to deal is to get outside and into the sun, and exercise! if there's no sun then do something good and nourishing for yourself
lovin' and hugs help.
hope you're feeling better.


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Purple Dragon


Purple Dragon

member
Location: Wellington

Total posts: 23
Posted:It's wonderful having good and supportive people around you. I have had depression for about two years starting from when I had glandular fever, went on antidepressant but had problems with them (as discussed a lot above) and stopped. It never really was a big thing a mostly just delt with it- cried an unusually large amount and had some terrible mood swings but that was about it. I had a really supportive boyfriend who helped me a lot. But after 7 months decided it was too much to deal with and left me last week for someone else - bugger. Can tell you that did great things for me but oh well hopefully I'll learn to rely on other less and become a bit stronger myself, but not this week, this week I'm going to continue to be angry and upset.

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Purple Dragon


Purple Dragon

member
Location: Wellington

Total posts: 23
Posted:It's wonderful having good and supportive people around you. I have had depression for about two years starting from when I had glandular fever, went on antidepressant but had problems with them (as discussed a lot above) and stopped. It never really was a big thing a mostly just delt with it- cried an unusually large amount and had some terrible mood swings but that was about it. I had a really supportive boyfriend who helped me a lot. But after 7 months decided it was too much to deal with and left me last week for someone else - bugger. Can tell you that did great things for me but oh well hopefully I'll learn to rely on other less and become a bit stronger myself, but not this week, this week I'm going to continue to be angry and upset.

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:
Good luck on your life journey, all of you. Happiness and Wonder walk beside you always, let them hold your hand and travel with you.


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Fee


member
Location: Brisbane (South) Qld Aussie :P

Total posts: 80
Posted:Well i saw the psychologist on Tuesday and things went ok i guess... basically the meeting was a whole getting to know you process.. it was mainly for her to find out about my attacks and how they affect me so we can work on a plan as to how to deal with them. But with every good seems to come a bad.... my father is threatening to leave us... i care but i dont if that makes any sense, i all get from him when he gets home from works is "wheres my dinner" or "why isnt this/that done" so in that respect i DONT care.... its my 8yr old sis im worried about... poor thing was heartbroken the other night coz he said it to her *sighs* i can deal with this... and mum seems fine, bu the poor lil one is a mess. Any advice?

Why do you like to confuse me so?

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:Ring me.
Thats my advice.

[ 06. December 2002, 19:19: Message edited by: Valura ]


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Fee, my gut feeling is that you are having a normal reaction to a FATHER who needs counseling.

You need counseling for now, but if we could fix the underlying cause of your depression (the fact that your father seems to be having some psychological issues), I bet you'd recover pretty quickly.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Puk
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia

Total posts: 2615
Posted:yeah i'd go with what mike is saying . Your father sounds like he needs help. People like him drag you down . As for your little sister all you can do is be there.

Anyperson can acheive anything if they don't have fear in their heart!


that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

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