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Forums > Social Chat > The Official Female HoP Auction!

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Kurobei
member
Location: The Phire Kru
Member Since: 19th Aug 2002
Total posts: 786
Posted:As an active equal rights campaigner, I felt it was necessary to open a female auctioning establishment. Now members of both sexes can enjoy the freedom of an auction at ease.
If you are interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, please leave your details at the front desk or PM them to the Master of Ceremonies - Kurobei.

[ 24 September 2002, 23:15: Message edited by: Kurobei ]


whats up with all the limitations?

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screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:firstly i did not steal your red herring i have my own his name is filbert and he has a little tear in his dorsal fin



the prayer is from the egyptian book of the dead and is pertaining to the god osiris the first word is hail and i do know the [words of power] but to place them here now would allow everyone the full translation of the text would it not. tongue



i add for lost



a replica of the hanging gardens of babylon made from jelly

a chocolate moose

a chocolate mousse

a daisho set (katana and wakisashi)

a tanto

breakfast cooked by madamme cholet

big ben made from jaffa cakes

1 shoe lace

a mobile phone charcer

thunderbird 2

3 bourbon creams

a

peach

a fruit salad

the ability to travel through time to 5 past events of your choice

3 first class and 2 2nd class stamps

and the contents of my bits and bobs box


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

Delete

linden rathen
linden rathen

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 2nd Mar 2005
Total posts: 6942
Posted:ok for tink i add

help with many things maths like or physics
your own personal gnome slave
3 oranges
as many ballons of NOs as you want (once i get the dispensor)
free drinks from my drink
my calculator tongue
a weird window cleaning thing
my red monkey reg
posters
and a free mystry gift


back

Delete

Lost83spy
Lost83spy

Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
Location: Somewhere, out there...
Member Since: 14th Sep 2005
Total posts: 587
Posted:I am taking all bids into consideration

This is going to be hard... confused


It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*

Delete

TinklePants
TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr
Member Since: 3rd Jul 2005
Total posts: 4217
Posted:mynci I am offended, what makes you think I need help with maths or physics?
Physics was the only subject for which I completed coursework in school thus the only GCSE i got entered for.

so there.
Carry on...


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Hmmm... well as Aime is still technically up for auction, I bid for her:

The correct spelling of her name
The polish version of 'what shall we do with a drunken sailor'
some new sock poi
many days spent on a beach
a lack of chavs
A little man to spin for her entertainment
giggles
smiles
hugs
a beach without VD in the water wink
Lots of UV, UV body paints, and a random person on ecstasy to ask you out....
A pub called The Aime
A magical paintbrush
paints of all colours
Some new fire poi, of your choice, of course
and that should do for now...


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

_Aime_
_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings
Member Since: 2nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 4172
Posted:technically he asked me to 'go check out downstairs' with him.
mmm free neck rubs from people on pills..
but still..
thats gotta be the winning bid!


Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:Did I offer help with maths or physics???? sorry tink wink

at work so can't really bid more til later hug but i will...


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

Delete

animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Go check out downstairs with him? but we were downstairs!!

rolleyes


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

_Aime_
_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings
Member Since: 2nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 4172
Posted:exactly ubblol

Delete

animatEd
animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK
Member Since: 31st Aug 2004
Total posts: 3540
Posted:Yay!! I own Aime!!

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

Hanz
Hanz

veteran
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia
Member Since: 7th Jun 2004
Total posts: 1328
Posted:I still think I know who I want to be owned by... but he hasnt done enough for me yet...

Screech: you need to think about some of your bids more... I DO NOT want a bee... it might bite me, and I will swell up and be uglier.
But the maltesers... YUM...


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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:hmmmm, not much of a choice at the moment...does no one want me? ubbcrying

I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

Delete

blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:*sniff sniff*
Im not much of a choice am I?

I up my bid for tao star to include:

all the pinstripes in america
a dragon egg
all the stained glass windows in Italy
The North Pole
a firemans pole
a bucket of water
the ability to shapeshift
the choice of getting rid of anything in the world that displeases you
sour gum
a big hug
an even bigger hug
the biggest hug in the multiverse
any pair of shoes you may like
a beautiful scent and glitter to be left in your wake
and a lemon merangue that I made myself


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Delete

screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:Hanz, eric is only half a bee he doesn't have a sting and he's very tame surely you know the song about him

add to bid for hanz

a chocolate teapot (not much use but tasty)
a friendly ghost who loves housework
an orange tree
a jacuzzi
a stress ball
a massage
a bag of cuddly toys
a lucky egg
and a barrell of laughs

for lost i add

a mobile phone charger
my box of bits and bobs
1 shoe lace
a cuddly koala
a chest of sapient pearwood
and a pair of x-ray specs


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

Delete

Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:awwww, i didin't mean that.

hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug hug2 hug



biggrin


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

Delete

blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:hehehe, I know I know biggrin I'd encourage others to bid for you, but I wanna win. The main other bidders in this forum are screech and Mynci and I own them both anyway, so technically, you have loads of people bidding on you.

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:Ha x-ray specs (sooo 19-yesterday...see my previous bids ubblol)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

Delete

Sethis
Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University
Member Since: 16th May 2005
Total posts: 1762
Posted:OK, I want to bid for Tao Star (cos I want to filch victory from blu biggrin )

The ability to create eclipses.
Polymorphing (Change into any animal of your choice!)
A computer that *Never* breaks down.
A matress stuffed with money.
A neverending supply of household essentials (never run out of toilet paper again!)
A dance on the rings of Saturn.
A conversation involving God and a big stick.
Weather control
Freedom from (and lack of respect for) the laws of Physics.
Myself, as your dedicated servant for 37 days.
A kitten that is *unbearably* cute.
A *full size* lego alien with spinney equipment.
A permanent height boost of 1" to bring you up to 5' tongue

Back later, so don't go selling yourself yet! biggrin


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Delete

Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:woooo! you really have been doing your homework biggrin

ahhhh *dreams of being 5'*


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

Delete

LMSP
LMSP

veteran

Member Since: 23rd Aug 2005
Total posts: 1588
Posted:All I can offer for Tink is



The last word in any argument (always handy in a family dispute)


Delete

TinklePants
TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr
Member Since: 3rd Jul 2005
Total posts: 4217
Posted:yeah as if marie - i always have the last word - bid harder!!!

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

Psyri
Psyri

artisan
Location: Berkshire, UK
Member Since: 2nd Apr 2003
Total posts: 1576
Posted:OK question for future reference... is there any Kate Bush lookalikes here? I will sell my soul and all I have for one

Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:ok Tink....
addition

A field of happiness
a teleporter
a man with his tongue peirced for you to abuse
7 jabberwockies
2 plecostomus's
half a bottle of vodka
some baby oil
an interstella ninja sunflower
3 and a half cheese burgers
the population of the galapagos
a rhino with a penis shaped horn
ear plugs guarenteed to block out screaming children and annoying boys
a pin badge of a mouse
2 glowing balls
as much innuendo as it takes to fill you up ubblol
a practice toothpick
an inflatable pin-cushion
an exploded caravan
2 x anything anyone else offers for you
a blunt ball
an inverted inversion
2 oxymorons
and
some pickle on a tickle
wink


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

Delete

Blayze
Blayze

Doesn't play well with others...
Location: CANADA
Member Since: 28th Jul 2005
Total posts: 187
Posted:blu - throw in a penguin and the number 4 and I'm all yours!

I smile because I have no idea what is going on...

Delete

the_poier
the 1337 poier
Location: england
Member Since: 7th Jul 2005
Total posts: 346
Posted:tink is on sale? if not ignore this...

the ability to have AND give multiple orgasms

3 carribean islands

a group picture of everyone currently in the gayfest bed...naked

a monkey

a half full bag of doritos

a pink fluffy thing

a pool full of your favourite drink

a direct line to god - anyone you want...you could even make one up!

a hairbrush

a half empty 3 litre bottle of cider

a FULL bottle of coca cola

a toy bagpuss

a new diary

a new barbie

a gay ken

all the diamonds in a gold mine

all the gold in my pocket

some pocket fluff

9 juggling balls

a years membership to NASA

two years supply of nutella

EDITED_BY: 1337_poier (1129746131)


ive got a fuzzbox and im not afraid to use it
R.I.P. gayfest

Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:Hanz



i bid more ubblol



some pirates treasure

the letter x

14 rabid doughnuts

a scaffold pole

a pair of crutches

some bales of carpet

a waterbed

a waterpillow

a water duvet

a bucket

some spikey pyjamas

swimming lessons

a towel

resuss (in case you drown ubblol )

a uni cycle with stabilizers

a weather altering snowglobe

a get out of jail free card

2 tribes of warring pygmys

the stripes from a tiger

a purposeful porpoise

a rainbow hole (much nicer to look at than those black ones wink )

13 bonzai trees

and

a lemming called frank. (who can fly)


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

Delete

Sethis
Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University
Member Since: 16th May 2005
Total posts: 1762
Posted:Further to my previous bid, I offer:

1 Indoor rainforest that is bigger on the inside than the outside.
The ability to breathe fire any time you want, with no preparation and no health risks.
A saddle made for a Dragon (Go outside to check out the other half of this present wink )
A 20 sided dice.
A complete artists kit.
A thingamabob (1928 model).
Buck Cherry, for your audible pleasure.
A big red button that you can push any time.
The ability to make things you don't like go "Poof!" and disappear.
A singer of your choice, singing to you in your sleep.
An old style romantic ball.
Someone who cares.
A blue rose.


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Delete

Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:Written by: Sethis

A conversation involving God and a big stick.




Best. Bid. Ever biggrin


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

Delete

screech
screech

circling on the edge of madness
Location: away with the faeries
Member Since: 22nd Apr 2005
Total posts: 889
Posted:add to my bid for hanz:



the moon on a sick

an obsidian orb

3 hacky sacks

a stress free life

a dotty dogfish

an army of mer people

a pointless pin

the question who's answer is 42

the number 69

a time machine shaped like a telephone box

a surfboard

some coral

a ball that doesn't bounce

a bed with enough room for all the hoppers you wish to wake up in

an interview with a vampire

a life size card board cut out of johnny depp (i couldn't get him he said he was too busy)

a contact ball

an owl

a pussycat

and a beautiful pea green boat

the pointy ears orlando bloom wore in lord of the rings

a miniature clone of mynci

3 juxtapositions

6 spoonerisms

12 funky gibbons

a friendly gang of fruit

and a cruise in the caribean with the hopper of your choice

EDITED_BY: screech (1129809756)


finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv

Delete

Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:Hanz I up my bid...(screech yer bleeding me dry here dude ubblol)

a bottle of fairy's liquid
a posh porsche
some chilli's dipped in cheese
the good bit of java
the children of my work colleagues as personal slaves
99 bottles of beer on a wall
all the kings horses and all the kings men (re-trained after the humpty incident)
A giant inflateable hamster wheel
morgan freemans moustache
an analogue digitalis
a lunar powered sundial
and
a hippo's tutu (dry cleaned)


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

Delete

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