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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:I wish the rest of the world could see parenting through the eyes of a teacher.

I really think teachers are the only people in the planet who get ANY real sense of what's going on in people's home. And any real sense of the lack of prerequisites needed to be a parent.

I know there are some amazingly wonderful parents out there. I know I'm in a unique situation where I really only deal with the problematic parents. I don't know what the ratio of crazy/noncrazy parents is... but I wish we looked more carefully as a society at how we raise our kids.

This week a parent came in irate that his 14 year old child was being made to take a state mandated gym (P.E.) class because "He smokes so much I can't imagine how you mother f#cking jerks expect him to actually run." (Direct quote from a parent to a teacher.)

Every teacher has their own parenting horror stories.

I'm not suggesting anything more than: "I wish you all could see it."


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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX

Total posts: 2014
Posted:they were actually talking about parents, kids, and manners on the evening news last night. It seems more and more parents are expecting their children to learn manners from their teachers, school, and other places outside the home. So, no wonder you have to deal with crazy parents.

hug


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.:star:.
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

.:star:.

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1785
Posted:When i'm well enough to work i work with kids who have traumatic childhoods and have been put in to care. They are generally put into care because they have either been abused or neglected, or both.

Some of the things that parents have put their kids through are horrific. It makes me so angry. I see the damage that bad parenting does, its truely horrible and i often leave work and burst into tears.

Some of the kids are still in contact with their parents so working with kids often leads to meeting their parents. its takes every bit of my self control not to tell them exactly what i think of them. Unfortunately i'd loose my job if i did!

any job working with kids inevitably leads to experiencing bad parenting, its just so frustrating that there is so little that you can do.


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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:I totally agree

Ironically, in my experience teachers often have no idea what's going on with a kid in their school life. I guess it's easy for people to believe what kids tell them - kids blaming teachers, or hiding things from them.

School was horrible, I hope I can remember that when I'm a parent.


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: Mr Jay

Ironically, in my experience teachers often have no idea what's going on with a kid in their school life.



That's totally true as well. I know only a small amount of what's going on in some of the homes and it's scary enough.


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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:I have to give you a bit of the other side of the coin here. I came from a one parent family. I lived with my Dad. Now you have to remember that I'm 38 when I tell you this because it has changes some what since I was a child. Single parent families weren't common when I was at school and most of them were where the children were with their mother.

I was a very, very skinny child. I think I got to the weight of about 3 1/2 stone at age of 11 (I was short too). I spent a lot of my school life having teacher after teacher asking me 'what did you have to eat at home last night?' and 'does your daddy let you eat at home?' Because he was a man and a single parent the assumed I wasn't being fed. They used to watch me eating my school dinners and have dinner ladies putting extra on my plate because they thought I was being starved. The truth was my father used to feed us load of food. For example breakfast was always baked beans, tomatoes or poached eggs on toast followed by a bowl of cereal. They used to ask me so many times and watch me all the time, in the end it gave me a bit of a complex about eating when anyone was watching. The fact that I never sat still and was a gymnast didn't seem to register with them at all. I ate and ate but burned it all off.

I know they were just concerned about me and had they been right they may have saved my life but as it was they went too far and made me have a problem that I still have. I hate eating in quiet resturants because I feel like people are watching me. If someone comments on something I'm eating it puts me off finishing for fear they are making sure I'm eating it all. If I see anyone staring at me when I eat I lose my appetite and push the plate to one side unfinished. And all this is due to the fact that my Dad was my DAD and not my mum. I truely believe that it wouldn't have happened if I had come from a single parent family that was headed by a woman.

I know there are bad parents out there and that some children live through horrendous home lives but I think sometimes people go looking for problems that aren't really there due to their prejudices.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: NYC


I wish the rest of the world could see parenting through the eyes of a teacher.







There is no other side of the coin.



I just wish you could see it.



That's all I said.



There are plenty of incompitent teachers. There are plenty of fantastic parents. There are teachers who hurt kids. There are parents who save kids from hurtful teachers.



There are just so many things that I see on a daily basis that I wish others could see, and then make their own judgements.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:Well the title of the thread is "Crazy parents..." I just wanted to point out in my case the harm was done by well meaning but still somewhat crazy teachers.



Written by: NYC
I really think teachers are the only people in the planet who get ANY real sense of what's going on in people's home.





The teachers in my case had no idea what was going on in my home. Infact they invented and caused problems that weren't there.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:My mom is nuts. She currently has 4 boyfriends and she gets really mad about really stupid stuff

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings

Total posts: 4172
Posted:slightly off topic but still relevent..

last week at my school 2 boys aged 14 and 15 punched a teacher in the face and pushed her to the floor.
a couple of months ago some lads threw bleach at a teachers face and told her to 'f*ck off back to her own country* (she was from france)
about a year ago one student slammed a door onto a teachers head and knocked her out.

It makes me physically sick
It also makes me wonder what kind of parents these people have. How can you bring your child up like that? For them to think its ok for them to hit a woman 30 years there senior?
Thank god fro friday. I officially leave school then..


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heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:I know
I hated it when I was in school to see stupid ass people pull stuff like that


Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

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heyahoney
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

heyahoney

Redneck Woman
Location: Texas, Yeeeeehaaaaaw

Total posts: 566
Posted:just so that you know, my mom is nuts, but she wasnt a bad mom. She taut me to respect and all that other good stuff

Top Three Things I've Learn While Being A Mom
1. Baby poop comes in many colors.
2. Makes sure all dirty diapers are not accessable to my dog.
3. Burp rags are not big enough.

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:eek oh god... bleach? thats horrific... frown

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Anna-pananna


Anna-pananna

Thinking...
Location: Oxford

Total posts: 179
Posted:It can turn into a bit of a vicious cycle can't it: crazy parents=crazy kids, like that Phillip Larkin poem:

"They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."

My mum used to work in a school that was in quite a deprived area, she constantly came accross children who had really difficult home lives...but there does seem to be little that can be done. What do people think about parenting classes? Should they be compulsory for some parents, if authorities/teachers/social services think it's needed?


Practice as if your hair was on fire...

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munkypunks
GOLD Member since Jan 2005

munkypunks

enthusiast, but not enthusiastic
Location: Los Angeles, California

Total posts: 367
Posted:If you mess up badly enough in the US, you can be sent to compulsory parenting classes, but usually by then your kids have been taken by social services. Otherwise, it's your 'god-given right' to procreate and raise your children however you see fit.

The worst I've ever heard was a mother who drove her kid to school when the buses weren't running (okay, so far, so good, but there's a catch). The girl is non-verbal, with mental and physical handicaps, and the woman just dropped her off outside the closest school to their home. It wasn't the school the girl attends! They had to search all over the city until they found a school that was missing a student who fit her description, because she could not even tell the administrator her name.

Seems there are parents who just don't care, and parents who don't seem to know any better. Which is worse??


You can't fall off the floor, but sometimes you need a chair to reach the cookie jar.

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gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:*sigh* i wasn't gonna post here...ah well!

i work for the department of child safety (government child protection agency) & i may have only been there 5 or so months, but i have seen a lot!

& the sad bit is, there are too many adults out there who do hurt kids. they can be parents, relatives, strangers, teachers, anyone with access to kids really! there's even a client on my caseload who's mum was a social worker when the kid was born...& that kid has been in care since she was about 5.

i think everyone in the community needs to be aware of the problems & harms being done to our kids. & that includes the parents. some parents just don't have the capacity to parent their children. it could be that they were abused or in care themselves, or they have a mental health issue or limited intellectual capacity & they just don't understand what they're doing.

and now that i've rambled...i'll make a point. and it'll be a ciche. children are our future. they're innocent & so trusting. people need to ask for help if they can't cope with their children and others need to be there to help.

and munkypunks - i think parents who don't care are worse. parents who don't know any better is sad, but they can learn. there are some kids on my caseload who haven't seen or heard from their parents in over 6 years, because they don't care. but i have one woman in particular who loves her kids so much but she just can't parent them. it was so hard to tell her that we're going to apply for long term orders (til 18th birthdays) on her kids.

smile thankyou for listening!!


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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fluffy napalm fairy


fluffy napalm fairy

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land

Total posts: 3638
Posted:There are many things we all see and process in our heads on a daily basis that others don't/can't.

smile

hug


Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank

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Bumfro


Bumfro

Its a bum with an afro...
Location: Newcastle NSW

Total posts: 223
Posted:frown its sad that there is so much sh!t going on..... i have friends who have bad parents,abusive and that....Its really sad, i live with my mum, shes not bad but she just hasnt really paid much attention to me up until now....But good people can come from bad homes, im more independent now and my mates are all good people.. but there really isnt an easy solution to all these problems.....
grrr i'll stop before i go on my rant about how skrewed up the world is........


Racism is a weapon of mass destruction

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:ah, yes, crazy parents. they raise crazy children it seems despite their childrens best attempts. but we are all crazy arn't we?

enough on the philosophical... i wonder something... here in the midwest of america we often run into problems with religious figures interfering strangely in childrens lives- like the minister who tried to make it so an abused girl couldn't see her friends because they were pagan and instead had to stay at home all the time with her ... "parents" ... does this kind of thing happen in other countries, or have we just given some well meaning but bigoted people too much power?

I mean, teachers can be good or bad, parents can be good or bad, but particuarly here some people just get toooo much power to say whats good and bad and use weird standards... reminds me of Pele's parents actually, whom I know little about in actuality, but I do remember her telling us that they didn't think she was raising Noah right because of her being a performer....

I guess everyone has stories and then some.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Mr Majestik
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear

Total posts: 4693
Posted:in year 12 this year, my parents have always insisted i do maths, blaming the teacher that i'm not real good at it, they dont realise it bores the s**t out of me!

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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Bumfro


Bumfro

Its a bum with an afro...
Location: Newcastle NSW

Total posts: 223
Posted:ha, im with u there!
A big 53% for my last test WOOO! GO MATHS!


Racism is a weapon of mass destruction

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Wow Kyrian. I'm impressed you remembered.

My parents adopted me when I was 4. I had been abandonned when I was 8 months and lived in the system until my adoption. Bowever, my parents went crazy in the opposite direction. They have always cared, in their own way, I never questioned that. They just have always believed they knew best, without ever finding out who I am, so it was destructively restrictive and pushy. They felt that keeping me down, making me feel fat, ugly and stupid would keep me from "going wild". My mom admits it now actually, and has even gone so far as to admit that they set stricter rules for me than my sister because she and my da were afraid I was going to turn out like my biological mother. This was not restricted to my childhood, or to my parents. It continued during that debachle when they (my entire family, sisters too) felt they knew it was best to lie about me and have me investigated as a bad mother, trying to take Noah away from me, because of my career choices (which it was because I fire breathed, had the accident which left me unable to care for Noah for several weeks and in their minds that *proved* I was unfit. If it was a car accident, the investigation would have never happened).

But in return I will say that I was a terrible daughter, and I was *only* terrible at home. We reap what we sew I guess.

I was a teacher. I taught elementary/primary school. I also taught Autistic children being incorporated into a normal groupings. I can tell you, that if you ever want to see apathetic and piss poor parenting be a teacher for children who have any form of special needs. I couldn't agree more NYC. It is messed up, not only what teachers get to see but what they have to put up with. I quit teaching because I did not love it here (school politics). It was not fair to my students, to me or to my son.

More and more parents are taking a less proactive role in their childrens lives and it is sickening. They think of school as a life coach and television as babysitters, which adds so much extra pressure on the teachers. I can not begin to tell how many "family night" events which are free to all families, parent conferences, etc. are blown off by parents.

We need a license to drive. We have to have a license for our pets. We have to be a certain age to drink, smoke, vote...to take responsibility for our lives yet we can pop out a child and be responsible for someone else's life and well being any time we please. No, I do not think it should be allowed. Classes are a good idea, I would have taken them.
Hell, my son is 10 and I still wonder every day if I am a good parent, if I am doing right by him, if I am doing enough for him or if I am doing too much, if he will be a happy and at his core a "good" person. I *still* feel too young to be a mother. But in the end I am doing the best I can, because it is all I know how to do.

And Skulduggery, I could not agree with you more on prejudices. I have only ever been a single mother. I look younger than I am.
My son is like you were, he has a monstrous metabolism. He eats all the time but he is tall and skinny. I have come across so many teachers who have questioned me, spoken to me as if I was an idiot and one who even chastised me without knowing a damn thing about me or us. Conversely, I have had teachers thank me for being so involved in Noah's life to, and I have never figured that out. How desperate have things gotten that teachers must thank a parent for doing his/her job as one?
umm

Sorry to have taken up so much time. I did not realize I had so much to say on the topic.
Good one NYC.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth

Total posts: 5814
Posted:I think the proof of parenting is when our kids are about thirty or parents themselves. Then we know if we got the job right. Of my four close siblings we all parent very differently yet we came from the same parenting model.

Most parents try as hard as they can to do what they think is the right thing, but many of us really dont have a grip on how to deal with it all.

As a parent of a child with a chronic disabilty and fairly severe behavioural problems I take his behavioural problems very personally. It guts me at a blanket comment like

Written by:
I can tell you, that if you ever want to see apathetic and piss poor parenting be a teacher for children who have any form of special needs.



Most parents I have seen of kids with special needs are under extraordinary pressure. When you have a child with no extra needs I think parenting is tricky, add to it the extra pressures of special needs and it can be a nightmare. Especially kids with mild autism that have no obvious disabilty.

I admire anyone who can teach any kids and not burn out. As I see it teaching seems alot about paperworjk and policy and less about hands on teaching. Thats the gripe I hear from my kids teachers.


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Written by: Gnorc

As a parent of a child with a chronic disabilty and fairly severe behavioural problems I take his behavioural problems very personally. It guts me at a blanket comment like



Gnorc, it was not a blanket statement, as it was never said that *all* the parents of children with special needs are bad. Not even close. I feel bad that you took it that way, but truth is, from the teaching perspective, when I taught a class of "normal" children vs. those of special needs, the parents did tend to be more involved. We offered classes to the parents of s.n. children, to help them cope, offered special services, etc.. and out of 10 children, 2 families showed up. They were free and on a night they had all agreed they could make it. We had to have monthly meetings that involved the parents and were constantly told things like "Well, giving him candy to make him quiet is easier than discipline." or "We let him stay up so late (in this case until 1am or so) because it is easier than fighting with him.", and that is only when they would show up. And the next day in school *I* was the one who had to fight to teach him, and try to control the other 9. When I pointed it out, that was perfectly okay with the parents. I was not a babysitter, I was a teacher, and those 8 sets of parents treated me as if I was a sitter and disrespected every child in that classroom and their right to learn with their apathy.
No, it was not a blanket statement but it was truthful for my experience.

And stress, I am sorry but I feel it is no excuse. I am a single mom. That comes with excess stresses as well. I know families where each parent works two jobs. Saying that anyone family has more stress than another is a generalization that I feel is incorrect, especially without a basis for comparison. *ALL* parents are under stress, and if you talk to each parent, they usually feel their stress is the worst. However, there are things people can do to get help. I saw alot who wouldn't even bother trying. They had given up on their child, parenting, and any help before they even tried it.

Written by:

I admire anyone who can teach any kids and not burn out. As I see it teaching seems alot about paperworjk and policy and less about hands on teaching. Thats the gripe I hear from my kids teachers.



I *loved* the kids. I *loved* teaching them, despite it being so hard. I *HATED* school policy, as it too became apathetic because they did not believe in the kids the way the teaching staff did. To get teachers they would lie and tell us when we were hired that the children had been screened for violent tendancies and such, and then I would get bit, scratched, etc in the middle trying to contain one of the fits. There were more meetings and paperwork than class work time, and we were not allowed to remove a disruptive student from the classroom or call his/her parents. That is why I left. Having a child at home who was the same age, it was not worth the stress it was causing.

Interestingly, along these lines...I read once somewhere (in an education class probably) the amount of waking hours teachers spend with our children vs. how much the parents spend with them and it was shocking.
Now I understand that teachers are made to spend time with our kids, it is their job, and that I will miss hours in a day with Noah because he is out playing with his friends and doesn't want to play with me ( frown ) but still, wow!


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:I think that anyone who works with kids sees a good share of 'crazy' parents. It makes me stop and wonder, as a pediatrician in training, what makes a parent 'crazy.'

Ok, let's leave aside frank abuse. That's pretty straightforward and that's not what I think we're talking about.

To me, I begin to think of a parent as 'crazy' when:

1) The parent demands things of me that go contrary to good medical care, whether it is not doing something necessary or doing something unnecessary. I am reminded of the mother who dragged her 15-year-old son into the clinic because he'd had a fever and a bit of a headache and sore throat the week before and DEMANDED that we test him for West Nile Virus. We explained that it could only be done in the hospital and that even if he did have it, there wasn't anything we could do about it so there was no point. She stalked off, refusing to pay her copay and said that she was going to get a second opinion. The 15-year-old kid's parting look at me was memorable. It said 'And I have to live with her.'

On the other hand, I'm reminded of the parents who demand over and over and over and over to see safety data on even the simplest and most routine of therapies (intravenous antibiotics, etc.).

2) Parents who freak out and break down completely when their kid gets sick. Like the mom of the very sick little girl who almost died who broke into tears whenever we even came NEAR her daughter to, say, administer a drug, or when we came to talk to her about the next step in her daughter's therapy. I understand that the threat of losing a child is horrible beyond description, but her reactions were so extreme that she was on the border of endangering her daughter because we couldn't get her to hold it together long enough to sign a consent form.

3) Parents who demand the impossible, expect the unreasonable, and offer nothing. Basically, they want their critically ill baby with sixteen different congenital abnormalities CURED and they are unwilling to provide any at-home therapies.

4) Parents who refuse to raise their own kids. Like the mother who came in and calmly, with no sense of distress, told us that her 15-year-old son who was admitted to the ER after he'd poured gasoline all over a fire and then (surprise) found himself in the middle of a fireball, had also been in a fight two weeks previously and that's how he got his black eye.

5) Parents who freak out and call the doctor every time their kid so much as hiccups. No, I'm not kidding. Had a mom show up in the ER at 3AM with a hiccuping baby. Had another couple of parents show up in the ER six hours after leaving their doctor's office with a prescription for antibiotics because the kid's fever hadn't broken yet. ('When did she get her first dose?' 'An hour ago.' oy vey. 'Ok, s'pose you come back in 3 days if the fever still hasn't broken?')

And the examples go on and on.

There are times when I have to sit back and take a deep breath and remind myself that the parent and I have the same goal in common: the best interest of the child. I also sometimes have to remind myself that the parents may have different values than I do, hence parents who are content to have their neurologically devastated baby who will never walk or even respond to external stimuli kept alive at all costs.

I also have to remind myself that personalities come in all flavors that that I, myself, do not exactly have the world's most soothing presence, either. So expecting my patients and their parents to be perfect angels is a bit unreasonable.

I think the bigger question is 'Is this something that's going to harm the child?' In the case of NYC's 'Pro-smoking, anti-gym' mom, the answer is probably 'yes' and that's something that I would try to involve social services in to see if some sort of intervention was possible.

On the other hand, sometimes I just have to sit there and pity the child, like the 15-year-old boy whose mother would not stop dragging him from doctor to doctor until he was tested for West Nile Virus.

Yeah, you see a lot of craziness when you work with kids. It's my job, among many others, to decide when it's 'crazyness' and when it's 'dangerous.' So far, I haven't doubted any of the times I've decided it was the latter. But I know one day the decision won't be so straightforward.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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.:star:.
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

.:star:.

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1785
Posted:Seeing as i only have a job because of other peoples bad parenting I have read lots and lots about it and i have become rather addicted to books written by people who have experienced some of the worst parenting ever. I thought i share some of the best books here for anyone who is interested. These are not the kind of books that you can 'curl up with' they are horrific and each and everyone of them reduced me to tears but at the same time inspired me to do the very best i can for the children that i work with.

Sickened by Julie Gregory
The Kid by Kevin Lewis
Out of the Dark by Linda Caine and Robin Royston
One Child by Torey Haden
My Story - A child called it/The lost boy/A man named dave by Dave Pelzer

I truely admire parents who manage to care for a physically or mentally ill child. It is not easy, in fact I would say that it is one of the hardest things that anyone could ever cope with. I do lots of charity work for Childrens Hospice which helps to support the families as well as the children. http://www.chsw.org.uk/
br>
The problem is that there are a lot of parents that just can't cope or parents that just don't know what to do. Thats not excusing the people who are awful parents and really don't deserve the amazing gift of a child.


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munkypunks
GOLD Member since Jan 2005

munkypunks

enthusiast, but not enthusiastic
Location: Los Angeles, California

Total posts: 367
Posted:someone mentioned it somewhere else, but I'd add to that list When Rabbit Howls. And for the lighter side of messed up home lives, Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.

You can't fall off the floor, but sometimes you need a chair to reach the cookie jar.

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munkypunks
GOLD Member since Jan 2005

munkypunks

enthusiast, but not enthusiastic
Location: Los Angeles, California

Total posts: 367
Posted:"and munkypunks - i think parents who don't care are worse. parents who don't know any better is sad, but they can learn. there are some kids on my caseload who haven't seen or heard from their parents in over 6 years, because they don't care. but i have one woman in particular who loves her kids so much but she just can't parent them. it was so hard to tell her that we're going to apply for long term orders (til 18th birthdays) on her kids."

point well taken.

and, geez, it's scary to hear what goes on in the world!!


You can't fall off the floor, but sometimes you need a chair to reach the cookie jar.

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University

Total posts: 1762
Posted:What I find strange, well not strange, but a bit offputting, is the response I get when I tell people that I come from a SP family (single parent).

I say something like "I'm going down to Southampton this week!" and someone who doesn't know me will ask "Why?" To which I reply "It's where my Dad lives."

And this LOOK comes over their face, which vary from "Oh my God, I've just stepped in it big time" to a look of abject pity. But to me, it's normal.

I mean, I'm perfectly aware that many people in single parent families have parents who don't care, but in my case it's simply not true. I KNOW that my Father loves me, and so does my Mother, they split up because they didn't love EACH OTHER anymore.

In fact, it's always quite cool, cos when I go to my Dad's, I'm not at school or anything so I can really relax.

I just dislike the assumption in many people's view that to live in a SP family is to make you emotionally unstable or have abusive/uncaring parents. It really doesn't. (at least in my case)

As someone who is planning to do teaching as a career, I hope this mess about abusive children gets sorted out before I'm qualified smile

(I've got long hair, so God only knows what treatment I'll get...)


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
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