Forums > Social Chat > the pass-it-on one-liner joke thread.

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shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
so you give the next person a great one-liner to make an awesome punchline with..
they come in and knock 'em dead, and then set up the next poster for an equally witty one-liner thing...

make sense?

anyway (even if you dont. just pretend..)...

what did the barman say when the horse walked into his bar?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


DixieGOLD Member
old hand
740 posts
Location: Darkest Bedford., United Kingdom


Posted:
To get to the Shell station.

Why did monkey fall out of the tree?

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whyBRONZE Member
not _Y_
720 posts
Location: Scotland


Posted:
because it had no arms

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" George Bernard Shaw


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
it could only work in fields of mushrooms.


why dont they play golf on the moon?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
because the balls get stuck in the cheese

what has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

back


Fine_Rabid_DogInternet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...


Posted:
half a cow/dog/cat

How do you make a cat go woof?

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
buy a dog by accident

what goes black white black white black white?

back


newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
and red....
a nun falling dowstairs.

whats long and red and comes in four minutes?

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
*bites tongue to obvious answer*

the mythical 'on time' london bus

what goes black white hee hee

back


newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
(a cruise missile)

oops no, that was the last one...

erm.... Michael Jackson?

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
wheres your .5 of a line newgabe?
(btw the answer is "the nun who pushed her")

but we can laugh at jacko :P

when does jacko know its time for bed?

back


Fine_Rabid_DogInternet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...


Posted:
when the big hand touches the little hand Bwahahahahahahaha ubbrollsmile ubblol

What do you get if you cross a dog with a clock?

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
a wooden shoe that barks and tells the time.

where do pigs go when they die?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
no silly, a watch dog!!
(and FRD that was ace!!! clap)

Meanwhile back at the pig...

(erm,, into supermarkets cut up into rashers????)
or maybe wee wee wee wee all the way home?

*doubts these pathetic responses qualify for starting another joke but how about*:
whats green and red and moves very fast?

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


bing!BRONZE Member
i beat my inner child
184 posts
Location: manchester UK


Posted:
a frog in a blender

why did the fly fly?

--the spark what lit the flame which started the fire that burned forever--


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
because of the spark that lit the flame that started the fire that burned forever within the heart of the fly and his desire to do as his name exclaimed.

how many bad monkeys does it take before there are no bananas for any of them?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
one (with a big appetite)

What the difference between Karl Marx and a semi-conductor


(PM me and I'll tell you the proper answer to this one. It's probably my favorite ever joke!)

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
the semi conductor doesnt know anything about socialism.

why dont you tell us all the punchline to your probably favourite joke ever, newgabe?



where does the denist go to get his avocadoes?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


newgabeSILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia


Posted:
( OK then....one's a dialectical materialist and the other's a dialectrical material.) !!



Hmm as for yours.....erm......dentist... erm...... vegetables....... erm........ thinking thinking........

Nup. Pass it on....

Where DID the dentist go to get his avocados? confused

.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
from the green grocer.

(duh)

how many masculinists does it take to change a light bulb?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


=Flashpoint=SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Hey just one! We are all big men grrrr here...

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


MikeIconGOLD Member
Pooh-Bah
2,109 posts
Location: Philadelphia, PA - USA


Posted:
None, thats a man's job.
::snare snare hihat::



What do you call a monkey with a gun?

Let's turn those old bridges we crossed into ashes.
We'll blaze a new trail,
and torch the rough patches.

-Me


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
sir.

what do you do if a monkey points a gun at you?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


=Flashpoint=SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Give him a banana

What do you do when a monkey points a gun at you and says "Hands up, muthaf***er"?

ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


hexagonicClubbles Jugs
1,687 posts
Location: Manchester


Posted:
sit him down and tech him proper Cockney, damn Mofo!

what do u do if you see a policeman running down the street?

ah wah wah wah a wah wah


Captain_Hi_TopBRONZE Member
addict
529 posts
Location: North Shore, New Zealand


Posted:
stop looking back







what happened when Van ate a big red candle?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
his tongue got all waxy.

how long until the next sunrise?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


Captain_Hi_TopBRONZE Member
addict
529 posts
Location: North Shore, New Zealand


Posted:
the ships name is murphy

what do you get when you cross the policeman from noddy and a big red candle?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?


shen shuiSILVER Member
no excuses. no apologies.
1,799 posts
Location: aotearoa, New Zealand


Posted:
unsafe childrens television.

how many monsters have a big red candle?

those that know, dont say. those that say, dont know.


Captain_Hi_TopBRONZE Member
addict
529 posts
Location: North Shore, New Zealand


Posted:
depends on the size of your pocket


if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how long does it take to fill a barrel of eggs?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?


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