Forums > Social Chat > R.I.P
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Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Posted:
Now that god has smiled and said it's time to leave RUFF !.
You wouldn't believe the sweet tears that has been shed .
the words that i write can't replace the loss we've all had. But i ain't mad cause you always said "i'll never die old" how you died didn't surprise me E'ing of your head on your bike ! ....... what's happened has spun me a bit
been doing a lot of sole searching so why do i feel so f*&k up?
Now that god has smiled and said it's time to leave RUFF !.
You wouldn't believe the sweet tears that has been shed .
the words that i write can't replace the loss we've all had. But i ain't mad cause you always said "i'll never die old" how you died didn't surprise me E'ing of your head on your bike ! ....... what's happened has spun me a bit
been doing a lot of sole searching so why do i feel so f*&k up?
that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy
I am the merry wander of the night -puk
Laguna dude
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
Posted:
Ivan. . . what's happened?
Ivan. . . what's happened?
molten cheers,
~ FireMike
FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US
SILVER Member
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Posted:
I thought it was pretty obvious a mate of mine pass on to the other side and it's just been really f@#k up cause it's made me do a lot of thinking he was a beautiful unique person and im not copeing to well with it cause it's made me do a lot of sole searching asking the big Questions!
in life
I thought it was pretty obvious a mate of mine pass on to the other side and it's just been really f@#k up cause it's made me do a lot of thinking he was a beautiful unique person and im not copeing to well with it cause it's made me do a lot of sole searching asking the big Questions!
in life
that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy
I am the merry wander of the night -puk
Enter a "Title" here:
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
Posted:
My deepest condolences man. Things like this aint easy to deal with. Do what you need, try to talk to someone about it. If you dont feel comfertable with that, you'll find a way to cope.
My deepest condolences man. Things like this aint easy to deal with. Do what you need, try to talk to someone about it. If you dont feel comfertable with that, you'll find a way to cope.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
I feel your pain Ivan. I've had two close friends die on me. One committed suicide and the other was murdered in cold blood by someone who decided that would be easier than paying him back the $500 he owed him. I also had an ex-girlfriend that I still had a thing for who died from an overdose 6 months after we broke up.
It was actually hardest to cope with the one that committed suicide, as he had called me only a couple of hours beforehand wanting to hang out and I didn't bother to call him back because I was in a rush to go catch some waves. I felt guilty about that for years.
Do what you have to do to get it out. Just remember not to do it for so long that it becomes a habit if it is something like drinking or some other thing that isn't entirely healthy for you. Hang out with other mates of his, even if you don't know them that well. You don't even have to talk about it with them - just having others around grieving about the same thing helps.
In addition to those friends I've lost, all my grandparents are dead and my father passed on due to a mountain climbing accident 9 years ago. If there is one thing I have learned out of all of that, it is that you are grieving for yourself, not the one who is gone. So treat yourself well and do what you have to do, because you are the one who has suffered the loss and the one with the needs. The person you are missing so terribly is at rest now. Nothing is going to change that unforetunately. Just remember that they wouldn't want to have caused you so much pain.
I feel your pain Ivan. I've had two close friends die on me. One committed suicide and the other was murdered in cold blood by someone who decided that would be easier than paying him back the $500 he owed him. I also had an ex-girlfriend that I still had a thing for who died from an overdose 6 months after we broke up.
It was actually hardest to cope with the one that committed suicide, as he had called me only a couple of hours beforehand wanting to hang out and I didn't bother to call him back because I was in a rush to go catch some waves. I felt guilty about that for years.
Do what you have to do to get it out. Just remember not to do it for so long that it becomes a habit if it is something like drinking or some other thing that isn't entirely healthy for you. Hang out with other mates of his, even if you don't know them that well. You don't even have to talk about it with them - just having others around grieving about the same thing helps.
In addition to those friends I've lost, all my grandparents are dead and my father passed on due to a mountain climbing accident 9 years ago. If there is one thing I have learned out of all of that, it is that you are grieving for yourself, not the one who is gone. So treat yourself well and do what you have to do, because you are the one who has suffered the loss and the one with the needs. The person you are missing so terribly is at rest now. Nothing is going to change that unforetunately. Just remember that they wouldn't want to have caused you so much pain.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
P.S. - I know it doesn't seem that way now, but time heals all wounds. It will get easier as the weeks and months pass. You will always feel the loss. The pain subsides in its own time, but it does eventually go away, I promise.
"Time and the hour run through the roughest day"
-Shakespeare, Macbeth
P.S. - I know it doesn't seem that way now, but time heals all wounds. It will get easier as the weeks and months pass. You will always feel the loss. The pain subsides in its own time, but it does eventually go away, I promise.
"Time and the hour run through the roughest day"
-Shakespeare, Macbeth
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
BRONZE Member
member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany
member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posted:
I'm really sorry to read this. I don't think there is such a thing as coping well when someone you care about passes away suddenly. If there's anything I can do to help, p/m or e-mail me.
Take care, honey, and don't go through this alone.
and
judith
I'm really sorry to read this. I don't think there is such a thing as coping well when someone you care about passes away suddenly. If there's anything I can do to help, p/m or e-mail me.
Take care, honey, and don't go through this alone.
and
judith
Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.
Laguna dude
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
Posted:
Ivan,
props to you on honoring your mate. i just wanted to make sure with our nicknames & all, what species he was.
[i'm multifaith & not bound within tradition; for me, the greatest spiritual contribution of judaism is its annual personal Day of Atonement - yeah, heavy stuff, and clears your moral board for the year when you're done. it includes a remembrance and dedication to all the dead in our lives, and being in recoop after hospital here at home, this morning caught a rare jewish temple ceremony on tv for it; was reminded that though it had slipped my mind, the candle i burned last night also drew the memory of family & friends i've lost, and i stood today in the mourner's prayer with Larry King & the LA peeps on tv in a temple i've attended before. and yeah, i have jewish relatives, though in my case, that's almost incidental.]
i feel for your pain, man. the one i regretted most was a dude i met only once, early this year, a kinda go-do-it seeming music producer hopeful, Steve McLin to whom, in a parking lot with his 2 friends, i read a really ag slam poem i'd written which conservatives, even including college students, in this area found offensive. they wowed with the poem, and we started a friendship. i too was in a period of not being so swift in following up with people, and maybe a month later, before i had called the phones and e-mails we'd traded, i heard he'd died. he had moved an hour away with his mom, he was maybe 22? his gf was still in hs near where i live, he came to get her, and drove the wrong way on the freeway and smashed cars. i think i may have met the dead in the other cars in a totally different crowd, iranians i think. personally, from however well you can know someone from one meeting when you click, i ask myself if Steve was looking for the edge when he did that. he wasn't known as usually reckless, but he was desperate for some breakthrough.
he was the positive one in a kinda messed-up crowd, wanting to get ahead, had a shiny black truck prolly difficult to feed & keep, but put on enough of a good self-image. of course, this one sometimes depressed, but pushin himself & good influence on friends. damn, i'm going into the music event organizing biz myself. . .just gonna jump in shortly, when well. . .and have some oldskool biz skills & stuff meanwhile, if i had known him, would i have saved him? who knows THAT, but for a start coulda shared the fire of doing something outta passion, shoot for a lil greatness, this one woulda been my teacher in some tune genres, i coulda made some of his dreams take off. . . so here's a cup to the mate who never quite was as well, drivin his winnin smile on that other lane's side now.
sometimes what we have to offer is not only a pat on a back, but not what i can only imagine about you & your mate. . . if vanize & i don't just unintentionally trouble you with experiences of our own, there's a kinda unity and respect and support in what we share here.
sounds like RUFF was kinduva dare-devil, huh, Ivan? so the stunt that sent him on and over was all during a positive try of a move. just said he wouldn't grow old, being daring, and it damn just caught him way way early. how old was he?
we'll know your friend RUFF through what you share with us of your friendship, Ivan. my toast's to you, the friend, the minstrel boy singing your honest guts for him, it's good, it's beautiful, dude, here's to RUFF on his next mogul.
~ Mike
[ 15 September 2002, 11:52: Message edited by: FireMike ]
Ivan,
props to you on honoring your mate. i just wanted to make sure with our nicknames & all, what species he was.
[i'm multifaith & not bound within tradition; for me, the greatest spiritual contribution of judaism is its annual personal Day of Atonement - yeah, heavy stuff, and clears your moral board for the year when you're done. it includes a remembrance and dedication to all the dead in our lives, and being in recoop after hospital here at home, this morning caught a rare jewish temple ceremony on tv for it; was reminded that though it had slipped my mind, the candle i burned last night also drew the memory of family & friends i've lost, and i stood today in the mourner's prayer with Larry King & the LA peeps on tv in a temple i've attended before. and yeah, i have jewish relatives, though in my case, that's almost incidental.]
i feel for your pain, man. the one i regretted most was a dude i met only once, early this year, a kinda go-do-it seeming music producer hopeful, Steve McLin to whom, in a parking lot with his 2 friends, i read a really ag slam poem i'd written which conservatives, even including college students, in this area found offensive. they wowed with the poem, and we started a friendship. i too was in a period of not being so swift in following up with people, and maybe a month later, before i had called the phones and e-mails we'd traded, i heard he'd died. he had moved an hour away with his mom, he was maybe 22? his gf was still in hs near where i live, he came to get her, and drove the wrong way on the freeway and smashed cars. i think i may have met the dead in the other cars in a totally different crowd, iranians i think. personally, from however well you can know someone from one meeting when you click, i ask myself if Steve was looking for the edge when he did that. he wasn't known as usually reckless, but he was desperate for some breakthrough.
he was the positive one in a kinda messed-up crowd, wanting to get ahead, had a shiny black truck prolly difficult to feed & keep, but put on enough of a good self-image. of course, this one sometimes depressed, but pushin himself & good influence on friends. damn, i'm going into the music event organizing biz myself. . .just gonna jump in shortly, when well. . .and have some oldskool biz skills & stuff meanwhile, if i had known him, would i have saved him? who knows THAT, but for a start coulda shared the fire of doing something outta passion, shoot for a lil greatness, this one woulda been my teacher in some tune genres, i coulda made some of his dreams take off. . . so here's a cup to the mate who never quite was as well, drivin his winnin smile on that other lane's side now.
sometimes what we have to offer is not only a pat on a back, but not what i can only imagine about you & your mate. . . if vanize & i don't just unintentionally trouble you with experiences of our own, there's a kinda unity and respect and support in what we share here.
sounds like RUFF was kinduva dare-devil, huh, Ivan? so the stunt that sent him on and over was all during a positive try of a move. just said he wouldn't grow old, being daring, and it damn just caught him way way early. how old was he?
we'll know your friend RUFF through what you share with us of your friendship, Ivan. my toast's to you, the friend, the minstrel boy singing your honest guts for him, it's good, it's beautiful, dude, here's to RUFF on his next mogul.
~ Mike
[ 15 September 2002, 11:52: Message edited by: FireMike ]
molten cheers,
~ FireMike
FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US
SILVER Member
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Posted:
Thanx guy's i've had friends committ suicied been killed in bad events and my father pass on and i've coped with them i can't tell my sister exactally the chemicals he was on cause if would of cut her to shreds just needed to vent myself on some people not in our circle . and yes he was a crazy dare-devil the last talk i had with him was catching up and telling him how im getting hooked on fwirling he said "that's so you man have to see a show some time" .this event in my life has made me ponder thoughts and ask big questions but it's also a push to be the best person i can be and to achieve all my challenges
Thanx guy's i've had friends committ suicied been killed in bad events and my father pass on and i've coped with them i can't tell my sister exactally the chemicals he was on cause if would of cut her to shreds just needed to vent myself on some people not in our circle . and yes he was a crazy dare-devil the last talk i had with him was catching up and telling him how im getting hooked on fwirling he said "that's so you man have to see a show some time" .this event in my life has made me ponder thoughts and ask big questions but it's also a push to be the best person i can be and to achieve all my challenges
that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy
I am the merry wander of the night -puk
Laguna dude
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
1,438 posts
Location: Laguna, California, US
Posted:
yo, excellent, bro!
hey, where's Redcliffe?
yo, excellent, bro!
hey, where's Redcliffe?
molten cheers,
~ FireMike
FireMikeZ@yahoo.com (personal messages welcome, no promo spam, please!)
Laguna, California, US
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
Much respect and tons of hugs and smiles to you.
I feel for you and hope your soul heals and can feel better and just let your friends memory and uniqueness shine through you.
shine on
Cassandra
Much respect and tons of hugs and smiles to you.
I feel for you and hope your soul heals and can feel better and just let your friends memory and uniqueness shine through you.
shine on
Cassandra
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
BRONZE Member
member
134 posts
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
member
134 posts
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posted:
condolences, mate. Sounds like you're dealing with it fairly well, though.
good luck dealing with this and healing.
[ 17 September 2002, 05:51: Message edited by: Rick ]
condolences, mate. Sounds like you're dealing with it fairly well, though.
quote:True. Andrew Strickland is the name of a friend of mine in high school who taught me how to skateboard. He died in a car accident the year I went to University. I grieved for a while, and what I came out the other end with was a bright feeling, something energized and hopeful. Andrew shone all the time. He was out there, a little crazy, full of energy, friendly, and someone who skated and partied all the time. My reaction, in the end, to his death was to be even more determined to live an energetic life and have a good time all the time.
this event in my life has made me ponder thoughts and ask big questions but it's also a push to be the best person i can be and to achieve all my challenges
good luck dealing with this and healing.
[ 17 September 2002, 05:51: Message edited by: Rick ]
-Rick aka Loki
oh, man, a signature?... uuh... this is like coming across wet cement... uuh, shoot, I had something clever I was saving... I hope I don't run out of sp
member
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Posted:
awwwww... hugs
awwwww... hugs
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
The wave crashing on the beach
SILVER Member
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Sweet talented nutter
2,615 posts
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia
Posted:
im feeling better today he was truely a unusual person just like me was gifted with some great talents he and i always admired that in each other thank you for all you advice guy's and Mike Redcliffe is just across the bridge from shorncliffe and cass i will always let my unquieness shine through me
im feeling better today he was truely a unusual person just like me was gifted with some great talents he and i always admired that in each other thank you for all you advice guy's and Mike Redcliffe is just across the bridge from shorncliffe and cass i will always let my unquieness shine through me
that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy
I am the merry wander of the night -puk
SILVER Member
Intrepid Penguin
5,635 posts
Location: Australia
Intrepid Penguin
5,635 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
Much Love Ivan, and glad to hear you are feeling better today.
Let your friends influence in your life guide you. Lots of ppl here have been influenced by tragic incidents, and the ppl they have known have touched them in some deep way. Remember your friend for the reasons you loved him. ` not for the way he died. Remember him as he lived.
Much Love Ivan, and glad to hear you are feeling better today.
Let your friends influence in your life guide you. Lots of ppl here have been influenced by tragic incidents, and the ppl they have known have touched them in some deep way. Remember your friend for the reasons you loved him. ` not for the way he died. Remember him as he lived.
Currently on the right side up of the world.
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