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Forums > Social Chat > Random Confession Thread

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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Saw this sorta thing on another site recently (Bender will find this very familiar) and thought, in conjunction with the new Official Rumour Thread, it might be amusing.

The Deal: Confess something random.. Has to be true though!

I'll start: When I was in 4th Grade, I told a few of my classmates that I was a vampire. I had obviously developed a case of Corey Haim infatuation thanks to The Lost Boys film, and developed a large and complex story about my abduction, biting, transformation and reassimilation into school life as a vampire. Fortunately, I wasn't 100% vamp yet, but was eagerly seeking my first feed. I think I actually acted slightly bezerk a couple of times; to enhance the hunger driven madness and my inhumane cravings for blood.

I think this went on for a few weeks until eventually my parents were called into the school to have a mystery meeting with my teacher. Apparently I had scared the crap outta some of the girls I told and they had been getting bad nightmares and told their parents. So I was asked to stop and "an eye kept on me" to ensure I wasn't an 8 year old psychopath or something!

anyone else got a confession?

Please, tell Mother Confessor.


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:Confessions huh?...welllll.....
When I was about 7 I told my little brother (who was five at the time) that men with siccors lived in his room and waited for the night time to jump on his shoulders (from on top of the bunk beds) and cut his nose off!!!
He fully shit himself... He used to run into his bed covering his nose..poor lil dude...Man o man I used to be a cow.... But Im a good girl now.... full of Lurve


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Oh no...not going here.......
Not yet anyway -


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There

Total posts: 6140
Posted:I have an older sister, when i was little she brought home her boyfriends.

She'd tell me there name, but i would go up to them when she was out the room and ask them if they were Simon, Chris, Dave...and say all the boy's names i knew except there name.

When my sister walked back into the room her BF would be suspicious and start accusing her of cheating!

I used to be really evil...wait i still am


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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DarkFairyQueen


member
Location: The Underworld

Total posts: 557
Posted:My friends and I once convinced this idiot girl at school that we were part of a lesbian sex cult and wanted her to join us. We kept stroking eachothers hands on the desks in class while giving her alluring looks. She got really freaked and began to avoid us like the plague!

Instalment 1.....


Az abouve, So below...

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:I'm trying to think of something taht's funny without being horrible.

Ok, got it.

When i was probably 13 or 14 i was at a horse show and my friend and i were sitting on the bleachers waiting for our classes (we had hours). She was saying she was fat (she wasn't skinny, but not fat) and i go "no, ur not fat. let's see....." *I looked around our view of the show grounds to see if i coudl see anyone. And i did... only one but she was really really fat* "she's fat!" *I point*

It was her mother.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Oh and there's always the great time i was on a bus coming back from a sporting event and as we pull into the parking lot asomeone goes "your sister is really hot." me: "that's my mother" teenage boy: "ur joking right?" me: "no" *teenage boy runs off in shame*

not a confession per se but a funny story anyhow.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:LOL at Kyri ...Your mums a Yummy Mummy...kinda like 'Stiflers MOM'

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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elahu


member
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Total posts: 3
Posted:I once got busy in a burger king bathroom....

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Dio


Dio

HoP Mechanical Engineer
Location: OK, USA

Total posts: 729
Posted:Good one here -

My little sister (junior high age) was being a royal pain to me, fighting, screaming, throwing a tantrum and physically attacking me this one day, and then DEMANDED that I assist her on a school project over Canada. She couldn't draw the Maple Leaf on the nation's flag and expected me to do it, even got parents involved in the issue ("you've got artistic talent, help her out" - translation "just do it to shut her up").

Naturally, in my pissed off state, I drew something from a different plant, also found in the "M" encyclopedia, that some of us may recognize

The only reason she wasn't suspended was cuz the teacher knew me from when I was her age


What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.

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Dio


Dio

HoP Mechanical Engineer
Location: OK, USA

Total posts: 729
Posted:Oh yeah I also convinced her that she was the mailman's illegitimate kid for like 2 weeks...

What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.

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shizN0T


member
Location: Stroudsburg, PA, USA

Total posts: 184
Posted:when I was like 14 my friend got 3rd degree burns on his face, from a roman candle hand crafted by yours truely.

I smell something burning.

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Malcolm
SAPPHIRE Member since Nov 2003

Malcolm

HOP admin
Location: HOP

Total posts: 1014
Posted:About 3 years ago there was a "funny story" in the local newspaper about a nice young man walking into the bank to do his banking, he went about his business smiling at everyone and the funny thing was he did not notice something very funny .

It was that the other night when getting undressed he threw his underpants on the floor landing inside his jeans. When putting his jeans on in the morning the other pair of underpants got pushed down his leg hole and became lodged between his jeans and his ankle.

He then proceeded to go about his day with a pair of underpants dragging on the ground from his ankle. He went to the Post office, the mall and the bank. When he got home to take his shoes off he felt really bad at seeing his underpants hanging out from his ankle. He remembered all the people that smiled and grinned at him that day at the post office, the mall and the bank.

Oh no! the embarrasment. Two days later a story about the funny man visiting the bank appeared in the local newspaper.

My confession is.......

That funny man was me


"May your balls always burn"

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:
Undie monster Malcolm..!!! How shameful that it made the paper!!!
Dont worry, your secret is safe with us...for now!!
ROTFPMSL


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin


Total posts: 5635
Posted:hehehe be glad you didnt notice them hanging out whilst everyone was still around.... My uncle did that ! HA! boy, now that was funny..... `

When we were little we used to steal cookies from the cupboard and blame them on my brother! heehe poor sparx! And we'd eat suger samwhiches and then tell mum that Sparx had spilt the suger and thats why there wasnt any left....

and one time, Sparx and i convinced my sister that i was beating Sparx up, we locked ourselves in my pare's bedroom, and i slapped the wall, and he screamed and cried. My sister locked herself in the bathroom cos she was so scared of me, and kept screaming at me to let him go... HEHEHE poor kid...

and last but not least. I used to eat soap it wasnt bad either...


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:I used to eat sand at the beach. It wasn't my fault!!! My parents didn't give me a bucket & spade, they gave me a bowl & a spoon instead!!!

[ 06 September 2002, 15:07: Message edited by: Rozi ]


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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.Morph.
SILVER Member since Mar 2002

.Morph.

addict
Location: Lancashire, UK

Total posts: 669
Posted:I once convinced an ex that Japanese people's bellybuttons are alike their eyes, kinda slanted compared with Westerner's eyes (PC). This lasted for all of 5mins when I burst out laughing that she'd fallen for it.

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:I let my crew members drink beer in the cat walks. good leader eh?

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

Goddess_Of_Pyre


member
Location: Michigan, USA

Total posts: 107
Posted:My confession would be me and my friend from Chicago(age 12) convienced everyone in her town I was Simon LeBons( from Duran Duran) cousin Niki visitng from England...I still dunno why, but hey the believed us....

And all my days are trances And all my nightly dreamsAre where thy gray eye glances And where thy footstep gleams-In what ethereal dances By what eternal streams. Edgar Allan PoeThe prophet is a fool and the religious man is fucking mad, and for the multitude of your sense and your inequity, and the great hatred......NANCY BOY

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Mean not nice guy, that is friendly


member
Location: Nowhere,Anywere/the middle of ...

Total posts: 92
Posted:Hey flash fire, can i call you Mother confessor?
Anywhoo, i really hated my teacher and so i put liquid super glue on the both of the toilet seats and low-an-behold i caught me a teacher.
*breakes into a hill-billy dance around the room*

__________________________________
Have no fear, I is here.


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Kali
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

member
Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 577
Posted:LOL at all thsee stories.

Being that I'm a perfect angel I'm sure I don't have anything to confess, except:
When I was 16, I once convinced thise guy who was head of the Christian club at his school that I used to be a guy and still had a dick. He wouldn't come near me the whole night.
When I was 18, I got drunk with my 25 year old ex-convict boyfriend and made him dress up in my underwear and sing "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show to me and my friend. My whole apartment building could hear it (and us cracking up).
The guy I lost my virginity to was such a dork, that when he and I first had sex and he told hiw older brother that he had finally gotten laid, his brother laughed at him and told him he was lying.

And maybe there's a few other things I'll wind up mentioning later. Always remember - you can't be embarassed if you have no shame.


Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Mother Confessor is actually a term I pinched from a series of books by Terry Goodkind called The Sword of Truth series.

But, call me whatever you want dude!

Random confession #2: My mother caught me eating a snail when I was little. She opened my mouth to find it full of a gooey black mess with occasional crunchy bits. YUCK!


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:At least snails are crunchy, and they taste great cooked in garlic butter

I convinced a good friend of my sister's that I invented concorde. I told her that I had been working on the plans in class, and they were coonfiscated by the teacher. Apparently the teacher sold the plans for a lot of money

warning, this next section contains adult content

A guy I used to go out with really used to bug me by sharing some very confronting sexual fantasies with me. He was an ultra blokey macho type. So one day when we were driving along in the car I asked him whether he had ever considered being anally penetrated. He almost drove off the road...

[ 06 September 2002, 16:42: Message edited by: Rozi ]


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Delete

vaperloc...the mighty


vaperloc...the mighty

look @my member
Location: Ft worth Texas

Total posts: 466
Posted:I told my little sister (ten years younger)that she was adopted.
when I was 14 or 15 I was into the whole grunge thing,my dad beeing ever worrysome thought I was depressed so he sent me to a psycologist,to get back at him i told the doctor that I heard voices soetimes and they told me to burn things,I went on to totally horrify this poor lady with tales of thoughts that a coroner would get green from.
she would not see me again,she referred me to another psycologist.


There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?

AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all

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BurningByron


member
Location: Australia

Total posts: 340
Posted:hmmmm where to start, I had sex on the doorstep of the head office of my high school at one in the morning and was caught by the cops! Can anyone beat that?

HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Burning Byron - that's fantastic!!

Not that I want this to turn into a sexual thread, but my boy and I did it on my cousin's trampoline recently!! Was laughing too much to really take advantage of the bounce factor though.


HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.

Delete

Kat
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Kat

Pooh-Bah
Location: London

Total posts: 2211
Posted:I told two American Marines that there were Leperchauns in Ireland, and people regarded them as useful as possums. They were very disappointed to hear that the 'little people' did not really have pots of gold!

I also convinced a drunk Irish man that I was Japanese!

On a more shameful note, I read my sisters diary when I was little! She has since forgiven me though!

[ 06 September 2002, 20:06: Message edited by: Kat ]


Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

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Prometheus


Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia

Total posts: 459
Posted:Wow, I'm practically angelic compared to the rest of yous. Worst thing we used to do as teenagers was steal 'Neighborhood Watch' signs, just to prove a point...

Then there was the time that a bunch of friends and I were supposed to meet at a certain bar, but as it happened, my carload didn't know where the place was and were accidentally abandoned. So the next morning we told the rest of the group how we met up with some supermodels who took us for a ride in their limo to karaoke, then to an exclusive party at the local casino. We then moved up to the penthouse for a more 'intimate' gathering of friends, and how they dropped us off reluctantly the next morning...One of them believed that for nearly 3 months


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Oringinally posted by Kali:
quote: The guy I lost my virginity to was such a dork, that when he and I first had sex and he told hiw older brother that he had finally gotten laid, his brother laughed at him and told him he was lying.

I am friends with a few guys that no one ever belives them when they say they get laid. Including me. We did verify one of the stories two years later tho


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

Delete

AardvarkOnAcid


member
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

Total posts: 92
Posted:I was the guy on the grassy knoll.

Is that all life comes down to? To be lying face down with an overenthusiastic guy in pink pin-striped pants sitting on top of you and grunting? -- Random MusingsSex, Drugs and Psytrance.

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DarkFairyQueen


member
Location: The Underworld

Total posts: 557
Posted:Byron, don't tells no-ones, but I knows for a fact that a certain small HOPer can beat that... more than once over I'm sure.....

Az abouve, So below...

Delete

Page: 12

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