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ben-ja-men
ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 12th Jun 2003
Total posts: 2474
Posted:i thought that this was just totally ace and had to share it

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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ben-ja-men
ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 12th Jun 2003
Total posts: 2474
Posted:could be cos thats a pic from halloween a few years ago when i was posing 24/7 angel

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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Cantus
Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 15965
Posted:Ben posing? surely not....

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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Cantus
Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 15965
Posted:Is Derik Troy too cool to spell Derek correctly?

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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PsychoTronic
stranger
Location: Greece-Samos-Athens
Member Since: 1st Jun 2004
Total posts: 80
Posted:give as a break mate frown those silly rules are the reason that I do not want a relationship.I do not want to have all of these inside my head and try to pressure my mind and my soul just to be well in a relationship.If all the guys think as you then I think I am going to use you for my sexual needs and nothing more.Or i will start killing you while you are little ones ubbloco
kisses


"For once there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes,
a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, a land where all things are perfect and poisonous."
"Put out the torches! Hide the moon! Hide the stars!"



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ben-ja-men
ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 12th Jun 2003
Total posts: 2474
Posted:Written by: Cantus

Is Derik Troy too cool to spell Derek correctly?



its a model poet thing you wouldnt understand ubbloco


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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Cantus
Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 15965
Posted:Evidently...

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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mico
mico

freedom in chains
Location: San Francisco & Oxford
Member Since: 20th Jul 2004
Total posts: 176
Posted:Written by: PsychoTronic

If all the guys think as you then I think I am going to use you for my sexual needs and nothing more



I think like that! ubbloco


~peace is a fire~

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mico
mico

freedom in chains
Location: San Francisco & Oxford
Member Since: 20th Jul 2004
Total posts: 176
Posted:Written by: Tracy Lynn

18. If we bitch because you left the toilet seat up, just put it down.



You should stop bitching about us putting the seat
down and just be glad we put it up in the first place!
eek


~peace is a fire~

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:I had a friend who bluntly informed his girlfriend that she could choose between putting the toilet seat down herself, or sitting on cold piss.

They're now married, very happily. I should know, I married them.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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teejay_blue
teejay_blue

mikes bitch
Location: manchester/northampton/where t...
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 387
Posted:LMAO ubblol

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music - angela monet.

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My hairs on fire
My hairs on fire

If its got pistons or boobs, its gonna be expensive...
Location: Cyprus
Member Since: 21st Oct 2004
Total posts: 515
Posted:Classis quote, ile remember that one!

Henry Hill - 'One day the kids from the neighbourhood carried my mothers groceries all the way home, you know why? It was out of respect'...

ahmet_20valve_ahmet(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hope all is well : )

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Lillie Frog
Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales
Member Since: 31st May 2004
Total posts: 558
Posted:I have to say that I really don't knowwhat all this toilet seat thing is about.
If I find it up I put it down, then I leave it like that.
If Mr. Man finds it down he puts it up, then he leaves it like that.
It's never been a problem.

All it is is putting it the way you want it before you use it.
What's the big deal?

If I want to complain about stuff he does, I can find loads better things than that.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)
enthusiast
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA
Member Since: 8th Jun 2004
Total posts: 456
Posted:That's what I've always said, LF.

Ah, LF, if only all women were like you! Well, your guy might find it hard to actually get anything done,* but the rest of us would be much, much happier.

*i.e. being in love with all the women in the world would be distracting to say the least.


"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations

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Lillie Frog
Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales
Member Since: 31st May 2004
Total posts: 558
Posted:Ahhh Xopher,

You're so sweet,

Thank you for saying nice things about me.

hug


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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PsychoTronic
stranger
Location: Greece-Samos-Athens
Member Since: 1st Jun 2004
Total posts: 80
Posted:if only all the problems between 2 sexes was the toilet sit............
get serious guys ubblol


"For once there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes,
a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream, a land where all things are perfect and poisonous."
"Put out the torches! Hide the moon! Hide the stars!"



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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:*BUMP*

Okay, rather than starting a new thread this one seems vaguely relevant to resurrect! biggrin

Was having a chat last night about the fickleness of some of our combined friends when they are in relationships, all of whom are female.

One of our friends is partucularly guilty of this, and consequently, is never happy when it comes to relationships.

She'll meet a guy who she finds attractive, and if he doesn't seem that interested all of a sudden, he's her dream guy, absolutely flawless, the opitomy of perfection.

She'll spend ages pining over him, and then when he finally succumbs to her womanly ways, all of a sudden she's not interested.

She'll go weird on him, and pick every fault possible, and eventually end up finishing with him.

Now, i would say that maybe she's never found the right "one", this is probably true, but she only ever seems to want the ones she can't have.

Also if this person that she's got bored of all of a sudden finds somebody else, she begins to think she made a mistake and miraculously "forgets" all of the things that bugged her about him, and goes back to being desperately in love with him! rolleyes

Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely lovely girl, and i genuinely believe she doesn't do it on purpose.

I've noticed this a lot with my female friends though, always wanting something else, saying one thing meaning another, and I'm sure at times I'm guilty of it too.

But is this only apparent in the female half of the population or are men equally as guilty?? confused

Anyway...these are quite amusing:

 Written by: ben-ja-men


i thought that this was just totally ace and had to share it

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.



biggrin And from the female perspective:

 Written by: Tracy Lynn


30 Things that Girls Want Guys to Know

1. Being on our period is an excuse to not give you any. If we're not getting it, why should you?
2. Love is a word that you shouldn't just use to get us closer. Only say it if you mean it.
3. Cheating is BAD. No matter how you cut it. Whether you were drunk or anything else, it's still your fault.
4. If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, there's probably really something wrong and you should try harder to find out.
5. Buying us jewelery is ALWAYS a good way to make up for a fight.
6. If you really do think that some other girl is prettier than us, just tell us. We like to know what you're thinking and how you like girls to look. It sort of gives us an insight.
7. If we get close to you, it means we want to be near you. Pushing us away and telling us we're too "clingy" is a no-no.
8. If we ask if we look fat, and we do, say yes. We don't want to look bad when we go into public.
9. If some other guy checks us out. Don't get mad. There's probably other girls looking at you.
10. If we're on the phone with a guy, or talking to him, or we hug him, it doesn't mean we're into him. Girls just hug people. It's natural.
11. If we seem upset, don't ask us if it's our "time of the month."
12. As much as we find out that you're lying, we still can't help but trust you anyway.
13. Complaining about the way we dress when we hang around other guys is NOT going to get you brownie points.
14. If you don't get along with our friends, we won't like it.
15. You guys don't want to hear about our ex boyfriends. DON'T talk about your ex girlfriends.
16. Oh, and asking us to masturbate in front of you, isn't a turn on. A lot of us don't even do that. If you touch yourself, it's your business. But, some of us don't want to.
17. If a pretty girl walks by, don't stare at her without expecting to be asked, "Do you think she's prettier than I am?"
18. If we bitch because you left the toilet seat up, just put it down. It doesn't take that much effort and it shows that you actually think about what we say.
19. If you get into an argument with us, chances are that we will not stop until we're satisfied that we've won. Just tell us that we were right and you were wrong if you don't want it to continue.
20. If you're single and you see us sitting in the mall or at a restaurant and we're alone, don't just sit there and stare, if you think we're cute, come and tell us.
21. If you've pissed us off, at least show an effort to make up for it.
22. If you go shopping with us, we WILL show you what the clothes look like. They could be little tiny clothes that don't even look like they fit (you like those, admit it), or, they could be full fitting teacher looking outfits. We want you to see them all. We like having your opinion on what we wear.
23. Don't ask us if we think another girl is cute. Most of us don't look at girls that way. That'd be like us asking, "Do you think he has a nice butt?"
24. You DON'T have all of the authority and decision-making power in a relationship that you think you do.
25. If we start to cry, hold us, ask us what's wrong, and talk it out with us. Don't just say it'll be okay if you don't know why we're crying.
26. If we say we're fat, and you buy us chocolate, you're going to have a hard time.
27. Some girls smoke. Get over it. Not all guys think that smoking is a turn off.
28. Getting us drunk is NOT an acceptable way to get us to do things with you.
29. On the other hand, some of us like to drink, so buying us alcohol could be a plus.
30. FINALLY- If you break our hearts, don't let us see you with another girl, we'll probably beat her up.

Something that a friend and I thought up. Just to let the guys know what we're thinking as well.



Also.... ubblol

 Written by: Mint Sauce


this is not my list so dont shout at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH !!
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay



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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:the woman's english thing is disturbingly accurate....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:we all knew that anyway.

and you women say men don't understand you rolleyes ubblol

It would help if you told us how you felt
*prepares for onslaught alhough trying to be glib*
when you don't tell us the truth it's called... lying and i KNOW women hate it when men lie. wink and when all we want to do is help and make you feel like a princess it can be frustrating.

but i have found a good woman is one who knows how to laugh (but not maliciously) any that can laugh are the greatest things in the world.... hug 's to women

(and to puppies...well hey are cute biggrin )


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted: Written by: Mynci


and when all we want to do is help and make you feel like a princess it can be frustrating.



awwwww....bless you Mynci! smile


 Written by: Mynci

(and to puppies...well hey are cute biggrin )



*raises eyebrow*

of the canine variety I'm hoping! wink


It does crack me up though how a lot women will get in a huff about something, and not be able to talk to their partner about it...ho hum! rolleyes


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Mynci
Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...
Member Since: 27th Apr 2005
Total posts: 8737
Posted:"some" women are strange

my psycho ex said I never helped her, what actually happened was when I tried she screamed that i was doing it wrong... and she could do it better and faster without me... (she was a fruit loop)


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:Ooh dear sounds nasty!

Ah well, at least you got yourself a good one now! biggrin


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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:I've got two older brothers and when I was younger I used to hang out with them and other boys at school. Even back then girls were just too vague and I had to read between the lines with everything.

My mum, if she wants you to do something, instead of ask, she's say "hmm, i dont suppose you feel like doing..."

I dont know why women are like it, when I feel sad it's hard to say "yes this is wrong.. blah blah blah" but it does make it easier in the end.

Honesty and tact is the best bet. And lots of compliments to each other smile

Maus- it sounds like your friend likes the thrill of the chase. hug


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:You'd think so, but idunno, got a feeling its a bit deeper like maybe she just needs to feel a bit more loved or something.

I just want to fix her and make her happy, but she seems to think she needs a man to do it. frown

Wish i could make her realise she needs to make herself happy...ho hum!


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Dragosani
Dragosani

sunset seadragon
Location: some little fluffy clouds
Member Since: 2nd Jun 2005
Total posts: 679
Posted:you want to "fix" her.... confused

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde
Jointly owned by FreyaJ, Birgit and Aurinko

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:yeah, it sounds like she wanted to know he fancied her. and now she knows he does, she's lost interest.

Sounds like a case of low self esteem to me!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:fix as in make her feel better about herself....

she's definately got low self esteem, we all knew that already!


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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:I think the words 'I'd never want to be with anyone who'd want to be with me' sums this up...



I definitely understand the whole 'pursue them until they show interest' thing being a sign of low self esteem. The person you're pursuing - a nice dream, fantasy, someone you would like to be/be with. Someone who is 'above you'/'out of your league'. Basically, someone on a pedestal.



The moment they reciprocate your interest in them, it feels like you lose all respect for them in that they are willing to 'lower their standards' to be with you and so the attraction fades, the fantasy crumbles. Normal people will just accept that the fantasy is just that, a fantasy and behind that is a human being. People with low-self esteem will always need to dream to elevate themselves above where they think they are...



And after being alone for so long you start to feel that the feeling of 'love' is that feeling of utter despair/loneliness, need to pine for someone who is forever out of reach....



A bit of a vicious cycle really...



Bloody 'ell I sound morbid... Cookie anyone?


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Dave you're completely right hug I remember I used to feel like that, now i think anyone who shows interest in me has got bloody good taste!! wink

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Gnor
Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth
Member Since: 31st Mar 2003
Total posts: 5814
Posted:What changed Jo?? Did poi give you self respect?

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:Indeed they have Jo! hug kiss

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