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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:Hi guys,
Apologies for the possible dulcit tone of this post because as you can guess i'm experiencing mixed feelings right now.

She is no longer using this site so for the few of you that may be saying he must be mad for typing all this where she can see it. Anyway i wont bore you lot with the specific details but it went along the 'i dont appreciate her enough' etc the whole argument started because she said she said how she was thinking of getting jenna jamesons biography and said something like shes the kind of porn star she'd like to be if she was one cos she liked her attitude, i then said yeh ive got a poster of her (a good one curteous of FHM so its not like JJ's typical poses lol it is reasonably decent, and she flipped saying how it was disrespecting her and to anyone who sees it its making a statement saying how i believe in lust not love and how i want to promote to everyone that i dont have a gf or something, she totally flipped, i said lke im really sorry i cans ee where your coming from i'll take it down etc but she just went on and on looking so far into it, im like look guys put posters on their walls, and it turned out that she wouldnt mind me putting britney spears of a poster like that on my wall, it was the fact that i had a poster of JJ on my wall, a pornstar.
so what!! i cant see how JJ ona poster is different from britney doing the same pose, its not like a really explicit one or anything, and anyway she cant complain abt her being on there considering she had only just said thats the sort of pornstar she would be!

so anyway the argument escalated from there i said she was childish and petty for going on so long abt these things, ok i do understand but she went on for so long and she got so bitchy and giving me attitude etc andit just kept escalating resurrecting old arguments and she said how i was like a boy racer!! and she dont wanna be 'no chick'!! where the hell did she get all that from!! she has a problem like that, shes so over dramatic and stuff and looks far too much into things
so to cut a long story short she started saying things like u want a slapper go get one and stuff (can u belive all this was cos of a poster) and she goes go get your slapper your single now etc she wants nothing more to do with me, she wants to be with a man who doesnt act like a kid by putting posters of pornstars on their walls, i mostly feel bad for her cos she was talking about cutting herself and slightly more serious things, im really scared for her, shes not replying to my texts or anything, says she has severed all contact with me n stuff, she was saying how i was her everything etc and how she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life n stuff, its been 11 months together and i kinda got a bit freaked, i dunno maybe im on of those typical scared of commitment kind of guys

tell me honestly if i was in the wrong about all this which i thought originally i was but everyone was going how she was childish and went too far etc
i guess im just worried how she is taking this, even though she did the dumping, to be honest i dont know how she can handle this, i seemed to always be her strength, im pretty sad too, feel very melancholic, i will really miss her, sorry im not very good at conveying myfeelings, that was one of her reasons too actually

sorry just having a rant


An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Oh, by the way, threatening to cut yourself is sometimes a sign of a personality disorder of some type. Bottom line: not exactly an example of a mature, adult way of handling a situation. Probably best that you got out.

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:yeh but obviously having beenwith her for so long i do feel responsible and still the need to take care of her, habit i got to get out of i guess, god dangit!!

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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meep
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

....
Location: Midlands - nr cov

Total posts: 344
Posted:I'm so glad you only said *sometimes* Mike smile

But WIll, Mike's right. She's responsible for her *own* choices. She always has been, but now that's even more clear. The way she broke up with you was (to me) very childish. It's not exactly what people go looking for in a relationship *Smiles*

Be gentle with you, it really does get easier..

Lynne


"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:If you get lonely, I like spanking people smile

You know where I am.


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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:now it is ridiculous, shes begging for me back and saying that if i dont take her back it will be me who let us go

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:these things always make me feel sad.
I really bollixed up my life so I don't know what makes me think I can dole out advice.
However, here I go, feel free to ignore me.

From your last post it seems like she is trying to manipulate you and shift the blame. She is trying to put herself in a win/win position. If you get back with her she will have won because she made you come back. if you do not get back with her she will also have won because it will be your fault and then she will have someone to blame for everything that makes her unhappy.
It is manipulation in it's crassest form, if you submit to it now she will continue to attempt to do it through out the course of your relationship, the more often it works the more often she will try.
Obviously the best thing to do is to resist this attempt to manipulate you, though that is often easier said than done, especially with the position she has put you in. I would suggest that you tell her that she finished with you and leave it like that for a while to cool down. Then, when everything has settled back down and you can talk reasonably again you can both decide wether you want to get back together or not.

I really don't know what you will make of me saying this, I know that it's none of my business, but sometimes an outsiders view point can help put things into perspective.

I hope that all goes well for you both.

Lillie


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:i dont want us to get back together after everything she has said, but now i feel so guilty that because im refusing to take her back she is saying how she has lost everything, i feel so bad for not taking her back, she is saying how she cant cope and to be honest i cant cope with her saying that, but i cant take her back just to please her, then i could be living a lie and thats not fair on either of us, god i hate this situation

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:***insert the not yet invented 'real hugs through the internet' graemlin.... :realhugthroughtheinternet:

Written by:
she is saying how she cant cope and to be honest i cant cope with her saying that



you obviously care a lot, stay strong hug

I'm not very good at advice... but i think from your last post you know what you want, and thats what you have to do, you have to look after yourself and do whats right for you... and in the end whatever is right for you will be right for her too cos as you said, living a lie isnt fair on anyone...

thinking of you, take care x


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:Yeah
Really you just got to think of yourself and do whatever is right for you.
To hell with anyone else.

It could be worse, you could have been married for 10 years and really grown to hate and despise each other but not have the energy to do anything about it....
oh well.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:I just found out who your girlfrind is/was.
Am I thick or what?

She seemed nice, and so do you, and your both so young. Oh, it's sad, so sad.

I do hope you can both sort it out. It really makes me sad when I read these 'breaking up with girl/boy friend things'
It's the romantic hidden in my bitter and twisted soul.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines

Total posts: 4437
Posted:she has two sides, nice and extremely bitchy, how did u find it out? and na your not thick considering i would have though her posts would be deep in some unused thread by now

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:I looked at her intro thread and she mentioned she was your girlfriend.
I remember she started a 'what are men for?' thread, and I put a couple of posts, silly, sarky things, and so did she. Then next time Iwas on that whole thread seemed to have vanished.
Maybe she wasn't joking as much with that thread as I thought she was.


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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meep
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

....
Location: Midlands - nr cov

Total posts: 344
Posted:Will,

does it really make a difference if she gets to say "YOU let this go" or not? In the end it doesn't. If it's the wrong place to be, then it's better not to be in it.

I know what it's like to have that from someone, but she had her chance. It seems to me that if she was really serious about makiing it work, rather than blackmail, she'd sit down and say "Ok, i was wrong, i shouldn't have said the things i said, please can we sit down and work out a way for this to work", but she seems more intent on making you the badguy.

It's a horrible place to be in, but at the end of the day, you have to do what you know is right, no matter how much it may hurt...

Go gently,

Lynne


"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"

Dorothy Gale

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wouac
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

wouac

Poi-tato
Location: Iceberg 319

Total posts: 183
Posted:hey sorry to hear it man what can I say sh!t happens and I know exactly how it feels almost the same thing happened to me a few years back when my GF of 9 months decided she wanted to run off with my best friend, to cut a long story short I was devastated for quite some time almost became slightly catatonic but that sh!t happens in life and you just gotta smile and walk the other way, as for the whole slitting and slicing thing thats just an attention grabbing scheme, like someone else touched on earlier those who are serious don't wait and talk they do those that just want the attention tell all. Anywho I can't give you all that much support aside from don't hide youre feelings let them flow, hiding them away will just allow them to linger and slowly gain in strength until they force their way through youre mind in one devastating blow.
And like everyone else has said unless this stage has already passed just ignore the nasty things she says they are just meant to belittle you and make her feel bigger,
But hey It's life and you're both still here ay so be happy for that the world is a small place and their is plenty of room for both of you to be happy whether it's with one another or some other.
anywho cheers beerchug


It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potato's.

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Mistress_Maledicti


Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over
Location: Wolverhampton

Total posts: 192
Posted:Pyro, you obviously care about her and that's a good thing but at the same time she knows how much you care and she'll see that as a useful weapon to use against you.

She's old enough to make her own decisions and her own choices, as are you. Her behaviour seems to indicate that she's trying to shift the blame for your break-up wholly onto you - it looks like she wants to accept no responsibility at all, and that's hardly fair on either of you.

For what it's worth, I think you should tell her one final time that it's over and you don't want her back. She'll have to deal with that for herself, you can't keep worrying about how she'll handle your responses because that's nothing more than emotional blackmail.


"Abashed, the Devil stood and saw how awful Goodness is"

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