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Forums > Social Chat > Stress relief - need help....

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Right, now this is getting to be a serious point in my life. My life is changing quite rapidly and repeatedly and it's getting to the point where-by my brain is having trouble coping with the adaptive reactions (stress) that my body is going through.
As an example, after writing a long e-mail to a mate yesterday at about 5 o'clock-ish, I'd gotten myself so worked up / pissed off with myself / hacked off with work and everything else over the course of the day, that having written a relatively simple point I began to get severely wound up and depressed both at the same time. Now a guy that I provide computer support to at work asked me a REALLY stupid question over the phone 10 mins after I was supposed to have left. I lost it....
I punched the screen of my monitor twice, swore repeatedly, and then went and locked myself away from everyone and had a fit. (verge of tears)
It took me 6 HOURS to calm down.
I tried drinking herbal tea, spinning and smoking a reefer. This did eventually have the desired affect, but none of this was possible until I'd gotten home....so basically I had to wait for an hour before the stress levels in my body had ebbed away from being dangerous. I found myself still hyperactive at 2 in the morning (body being pumped full of adrenaline and corticosteroids etc...) - Sadly this is getting to be a more and more regular occurance, and yet it's a totally subconscious one.
Is there anything that helps you through your day, that I can sensibly do to chill me the fuck out while at work? otherwise I will end up doing myself or someone else some serious damage.
Please respond........


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:First of all, sending you one giant hug

::HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG::

I know what you mean and I'll tell you my problem : I take thigns too personnaly... and so the solution I found was to take distance from it.

Step back and look at it with humour.

Why the anger ? why the stress ? look around and you'll start seeing there are better thigns than what was currently driving you up the wall.

dream about traveling, take a dep breath, go for a lil walk, look outside the window, smile to yourself, be GOOD TO YOURSELF because you deserve it

wish I could help more, but stress is normal... don't beat yourself up so much. Distance and huumour... and be your own little guardian angel...

and then, when you're down like I was yesterday... post something on HOP and ask for a big hug, like I did yesterday in my introduction thread... feels warm and good...

many hugs, smiles, crepes, nutella, sunshine and laughters o you, beautiful one
Cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Oh and sometimes I use that sily computer game were you shoot chickens for a while and it relaxes me too

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Big HUUUUUUG back hon.
oooo which chicken game and where can I get one??


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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BurningByron


member
Location: Australia

Total posts: 340
Posted:It sound to me that two things are wreaking havoc with your stress levels.

1. Your frustration at the stupidity of people.

2. Your mind isn't getting the chance to step back and sort things out sub consciously.

These are the two problems that fucked with me last year leading myself into serious self destructive behaviour and found myself close to suicide.

The answer to the first problem is that realise that no-ones's perfect therefor give everyone un-conditional love OR treat them like children cause lets face it, often the people you have to deal with in life have IQs and communication skills of a 5 year old. Either one works just fine.

The answer to the second problem is you need to let your unconscious mind work things out some more. Your conscious mind analyses 'stuff' 1000 times SLOWER than your unconscious mind. That feeling you get of a tornado of thoughts spinning violently through your head pressing outwards on your brain is simply your conscious mind trying to deal with all the shit that is going on in your life at the same time. THE CONSCIOUS MIND CANNOT MULTITASK! The unconscious mind CAN. You need to sit back in meditation and let your unconscious mind figure out everything. Then you will find answers just coming to you and stuff will just seem clearer. Meditation can be anything from spinning poi or staff, running, riding, swimming to sitting in a deep meditative state, as long as your thoughts are placed on simple external things such as your breath, the colour and textures of the environment around you or nothing at all if you have the focus. Whenever your thoughts start coming back to whats happening in your head you must bring them back to something external while meditating. Just whenever you feel that tornado of emotions/thoughts starting to spin again step into your own simple meditation that comes naturally to you.

I hope this helps because it saved my life.


HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

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s-p-l-a-t


member
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia

Total posts: 383
Posted:learn tai chi...

it seriously helps with heaps of stuff for me...

makes me feel centered and better able to deal with ANYTHING.

even when I first learnt 5 basic moves it was enough to reduce stress in my life..

peace and love being sent from the land of oz to ya


The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.- B.B.King

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Yeah, I agree with Splat... I mean a heavy training of aikido always helps me get over the stress... BUT I find it a bit hard to do it in the ofice unnoticed

Smallboy, 'tis this Johnny Walker chicke shooting game ... will try and look for it and send it to you


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Oh ! and one other thing I do sometimes is picture whoever is annoying me soooo much in a ridiculous costume... like my boss dressed in a Playboy pink bunny or whatnot... it certainly helps put things back into perspective

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Sepa


member
Location: London

Total posts: 184
Posted:Sympathies! and like Cassandra, here's a hug...

{{{{{{HUG!}}}}}}

From what you've said, this sounds like quite a long term, deep seated problem, and you're going to have to work on it at a couple of different levels - firstly, in the here and now, which treats the symptoms, and secondly, start doing things which will help with the deep-seated, long term parts of the problem.

In the here and now, when people f**k you off, practice all the calming techniques mentioned above. Do a short (5 mins) relaxation excercise in your chair at work (Take the phone off the hook first). Start at your feet and focus on (don't try and conscioiusly relax, just focus on) all the different parts of your body. Do your legs, then your hands and arms, then your torso and finally neck, scalp and face. Another way of relaxing at your desk is to breathe in and out starting from the bottom of your diaghram (sp) and filling your lungs in a rolling sort of way from the bottom of your torso to the top. When exhaling, exhale from the top of your lungs in a rolling fashion down to the bottom. Do it slowly, and count backwards like this: breathe in 100, breathe out 100; breathe in 99 breathe out 99 etc. If you lose count go back to 100 and start again. The aim of the game is NOT to reach zero, the aim is to slow your mind down - I always lose count and start again by the beginning of the 90s!!

I know that a reefer is the surest way to relax, but unfortunately for some people it makes them A LOT more uptight when they can't get it, so although it's a quick fix, in the long term it's probably making you worse, so try and reduce the smoking unless you REALLY need to relax.

In the long term, you really need slow your mind, as Burning Byron mentioned. There's an interesting book called 'slowing down to the speed of life' which really helped me realise what was happening in my head and get things under control (or rather, lose control of my subconscious, in a positive way!!). I'm sure you could get it on Amazon if necessary.

Finally, you need to start doing things which will calm your mind down over the long term. I used to be a chronic insomniac because I couldn't switch off to get to sleep. I took up meditation just for the hell of it, and to my surprise it really helped my insomnia, although it took a couple of months to get it really under control. Meditation of the 'om om' sort is really hard by yourself, so see if you can find a group to do it with. Tai chi is also a form of meditation, as are many forms of excercise, including poi, if it works for you. However if excercise or Tai Chi doesn't work (it never really helped me), then definately make yourself a commitment to join a meditation group for, say, three months. I'm sure it will help!

Good luck. You're not the only one, either, who suffers these sorts of problems. My 'hyper-ness' has taken the form of insomnia, digestive problems, back problems etc I'll always need to be careful and aware of the importance of relaxation and not getting stressed over things.


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dibs_star


member
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland, Uk

Total posts: 603
Posted:Breathe on a backwards circle............ and all will be well.

Big hugs for you angel,
Dibs xxx


Can miles truly separate us from friends? If we want to be with someone we love aren't we already there? If there is someone willing to show, and there is someone willing to see; magic happens. This is whem humans are alive. This is when the wingless fly.

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:For stress I either be a dick on line or puch something, I suggest punching something like a bag or your best friend even works!!

(hmm maybe thats why I dont have many friends... Ohh well)


Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Cool beans, I knew u people would be stars.
Thanx 4 the hugs, keep them coming pleeeeeezzzzzz.
(Closet hugz addict)
Although Sepa:- "and filling your lungs in a rolling sort of way......" Sorry had to laugh...
I do a lot of martial arts and spin lots which helps, and I don't need to smoke to chill me out it helps me sleep through my room-mates snoring.
Most days I do laugh at stuff like this but I have a recognisable intolerance to particularly stupid people, and when you get put in the middle of your mates' break-up it kind of fucks your head up lots. Especially when you care about both of them lots, and you get asked to choose who is coming raving with you the following weekend.
Anyway you're all peachy peeps, but I need more to chill me out when at work.......any more suggestions????? - The rest of my life is calmez lots, in fact it's wonderful but I can't NOT do such a stressful job as I love it otherwise, and I like the money I get........Plus I get to stroll around all day chatting to girlies....


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:stroll around all day chatting to girlies ???

what's your job ? I am sure many male HOPers are interested here

shine on
Cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:look.
but not in the outward sense.
look at what causes your suffering.
know that ultimately, desire is the root of all suffering.
know then, that you become stressed at work as you tie your happiness to your job, becuase your job provides you with the means to 'achieve' you life-goals that you have tied your happiness to (a house? a holiday?)
Your life is motivated by this need for happiness - it is your reason for living.
This need is a pendulum - it can give great happiness and project great sorrow - if you let it.
Know then, that your life's ambitions for happiness can be shortened.
Lisan Al-Gaib means 'the shortening of the way'
let go of your anger at stupid people at work, do not allow your need for happiness manifest itselft as frustration to it's obstacles.
know that your happiness can be attained if you let go of this frustration.
To be the Lisan Al-Gaib, you must eliminate the negativity in life.
Only with the absence of negativity can you make peace with your life - and love your life!
And only by allowing yourself to love life can you obtain lasting happiness.


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Simple thing for work- sit down, close your eyes, breath in for a fifteen count, out for a 15 count.repeat. repeat again. if nesc, repeat again. it really helps, slows ur mind and body. yu might not be able to do 15 comfortably at first (i can't when i'm tense. i also couldn't even when i was relaxed at first.) even as little as a four count is fine. it's the deep breathing and the counting that helps. the shorter the counts, the more you'll need to repeat it though.

*hugs*

if i think of anything if i ever go to sleep *eep- meet other person with calming down issues* i'll add it later

*hugs again*

hope things get better


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Cass & guys:- I'm a computer techy and if I'm at my desk people think I'm not working....hence if I'm free (and not posting my stupid opinions up on HOP), I wander off chatting to peeps, or spin down the park, or take 3 hours for lunch....although if the shit hits the fan......it REALLY hits the fan.....(done a few 14 hours shifts in my time)

BamBam:- Sorry honey, didn't mean to do you out of your moment of fame. ("Stop Hitting me")
The long e-mail mentioned RIGHT at the top of the thread was to her. Everyone send hugs to Bams too....awwwwwwwww - x

P.S. To all u London cru, Tuesdays at Liv Street soon......Read SpaceMonkees Thread in events, if you're not there we'll come find u and tell your mum & dad that you've been swearing at the pixies, and mooning at nuns - "Whoop whoop, these threads aint lame, these threads are bad man............" - Cheech and Chong


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Posted:Shit man..writing a long e-mail to BamBam got you that wound up!

I'd offer to take her out the back, and give her a good kicking for you...but you know...she'd probably win

Alternativly, I'm told a good way to stop people stressing you out is to imagine them with no clothes on


- Alienfox -

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Small Boy, put a pillow on your wall. Whenever it gets bad, stuff your face into the pillow and scream at the top of your lungs.

I swear it helps.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Salinger


member
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 382
Posted:Mike Ginny's suggestion is good, catharsism is the release of pent up aggression/stress in a socially acceptable way, so screaming into the pillow, or Cassandra's Aikido, or just hitting a golf ball as hard as you can are all good examples of stress relievers.

However, when you are in an environment where you can't do these things it boils down to how mentally adept you are to handling the situation. This is not dictated on a dispositional basis, as some beleive, and can be improved by taking up things like meditation and thai chi which help change your perception.

In your instance I believe that you should look into doing the attunement course for Reiki, which is transalted from Japanese as 'Universal Life Force Energy'. It follows along the relationship between our mental, physical, spiritual and emotional states and is in itself a form of healing that utilises meditation and basic principles to live by. These principles are:

Just for today, I will not worry

Just for today, I will not be angry

Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings

Just for today, I will do my work honestly

Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing

Choosing Reiki can be a life changing decision, you can feel aura's, focus energy into any matter like people, plants, animals, from the close hand positions you are taught to sending energy far away) and you can give Reiki (the healing) to yourself at any point, even when you're pissed off at the office.

Anyway, have a look around about Reiki, I bet you don't regret it, and I'm sending you my best wishes and lots of positive energy from thousands of miles away right now!


A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:Cool, keep em' cummin'.
Can't use a pillow at work. People think I'm fucked up enough as it is - lol
Hey what's happened to all the hugz?????


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:::HUGZ::



"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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dibs_star


member
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland, Uk

Total posts: 603
Posted:You're just milking it now man

((((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))))


Can miles truly separate us from friends? If we want to be with someone we love aren't we already there? If there is someone willing to show, and there is someone willing to see; magic happens. This is whem humans are alive. This is when the wingless fly.

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