Forums > Social Chat > Pained
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177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Posted:
I feel so betrayed and alone right now. Zeik just broke up with me last night, and it hurts so much right now. He promised me not long after he told me he loved me, that he would NEVER lie to me. He gave me his word on that. While he was at AIT I was feeling really bad about some things and I told him this. He sent me this really sweet letter saying that he had so much he wanted to say to me, and that he wanted to hold me and make it all better, and that it would be better when he got back.
After he got back, he wouldn't talk to me, and things got worse, instead of better, and it feels like he lied to me. It feels like he broke his word. I wrote this poem today, and I feel like sharing it for some reason.
I wish the pain would end
Pained
Ashke, my love
How much of me
I've given myself to you
Body heart and spirit
It is all in your hands
The trust I gave you
The pieces of our broken love
Are scattered to the wind
And nothing can be healed
My heart remains unbroken
Yet is no longer remains
My heart has been ripped out
And thrown into the flames
I feel nothing now but cold
The numbing cold of agony
Freezing the raw edges of my heart
Betrayal and Lies
Are all I feel from you
Broken Promises and shattered love
My love is yours always
My heart you still have
Now cast me away
And let the pain consume me
I feel so betrayed and alone right now. Zeik just broke up with me last night, and it hurts so much right now. He promised me not long after he told me he loved me, that he would NEVER lie to me. He gave me his word on that. While he was at AIT I was feeling really bad about some things and I told him this. He sent me this really sweet letter saying that he had so much he wanted to say to me, and that he wanted to hold me and make it all better, and that it would be better when he got back.
After he got back, he wouldn't talk to me, and things got worse, instead of better, and it feels like he lied to me. It feels like he broke his word. I wrote this poem today, and I feel like sharing it for some reason.
I wish the pain would end
Pained
Ashke, my love
How much of me
I've given myself to you
Body heart and spirit
It is all in your hands
The trust I gave you
The pieces of our broken love
Are scattered to the wind
And nothing can be healed
My heart remains unbroken
Yet is no longer remains
My heart has been ripped out
And thrown into the flames
I feel nothing now but cold
The numbing cold of agony
Freezing the raw edges of my heart
Betrayal and Lies
Are all I feel from you
Broken Promises and shattered love
My love is yours always
My heart you still have
Now cast me away
And let the pain consume me
Ash Blackstar
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains excite me"
"Only way to deal with Drama, heavy weaponry and a strong does of grow the Hell up"
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" Adam Savage - Mythbusters
BRONZE Member
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Look I've changed my title!
209 posts
Location: England
Posted:
well done, get it all out, poetry is the way forward.
I like the juxtaposition of your heart in the flames next to the cold numbness of your agony.
Sounds like you feel your life sucks at the moment, listen to music, go out, take your mind off him. SPIN!!! ooo yeah spinning is the best, it is like totally relaxing and all your problems flow away from you. You become encased in your own sphere, free from all troubles of the world.
Ok, admitidly i am crap at being helpfull and kind, and this probably shows lol, but i hope it helps in some way.
well done, get it all out, poetry is the way forward.
I like the juxtaposition of your heart in the flames next to the cold numbness of your agony.
Sounds like you feel your life sucks at the moment, listen to music, go out, take your mind off him. SPIN!!! ooo yeah spinning is the best, it is like totally relaxing and all your problems flow away from you. You become encased in your own sphere, free from all troubles of the world.
Ok, admitidly i am crap at being helpfull and kind, and this probably shows lol, but i hope it helps in some way.
anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast
Fireotographer on Hiatus
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
Posted:
I like your poem very much and can so sympathise with how you feel at the moment. But have a look at your poem again - you captured the situation better than it might be obvious to you because you are in such a deep grief, disappointment and anger: you used words like betrayal, lies, broken promises... so you know he is a jerk and not good for you! He "ripped your heart out and threw it away": do you really wanna let him do that to you, affecting you so much that your "heart doesn't remain any longer"? Ash, I know it's hard but no other person has the right to hurt you that much or make you feel like you are not living any longer! Think of yourself and soon you realize that you are happier without him. He would never ever have made you happy, you "gave him your heart, your trust, YOURSELF" and he didn't know how to aprecciate that. He's not meant for you. Get your heart back, he doesn't deserve to "still have it". I know what I am talking about... it takes sometime but as soon as you "see" it you are free! (Hence my sig
) All the best for you.... 
(at least times like that enliven your creativity and help you write a beautiful poem 
)
I like your poem very much and can so sympathise with how you feel at the moment. But have a look at your poem again - you captured the situation better than it might be obvious to you because you are in such a deep grief, disappointment and anger: you used words like betrayal, lies, broken promises... so you know he is a jerk and not good for you! He "ripped your heart out and threw it away": do you really wanna let him do that to you, affecting you so much that your "heart doesn't remain any longer"? Ash, I know it's hard but no other person has the right to hurt you that much or make you feel like you are not living any longer! Think of yourself and soon you realize that you are happier without him. He would never ever have made you happy, you "gave him your heart, your trust, YOURSELF" and he didn't know how to aprecciate that. He's not meant for you. Get your heart back, he doesn't deserve to "still have it". I know what I am talking about... it takes sometime but as soon as you "see" it you are free! (Hence my sig
) All the best for you.... (at least times like that enliven your creativity and help you write a beautiful poem ) "I see," said the blind man.
member
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Posted:
I do appreciate it. Its just something that is going to take alot of time for me. This was the first real relationship that I've ever had, and its over now. I want to still be friends with him, but not right now. I think it will be some time before I can be willing to try and have any sort of relationship with him
I do appreciate it. Its just something that is going to take alot of time for me. This was the first real relationship that I've ever had, and its over now. I want to still be friends with him, but not right now. I think it will be some time before I can be willing to try and have any sort of relationship with him
Ash Blackstar
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains excite me"
"Only way to deal with Drama, heavy weaponry and a strong does of grow the Hell up"
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" Adam Savage - Mythbusters
Fireotographer on Hiatus
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
Posted:
I know... Staying friends is very hard especially if you still have feelings for him. Take your time, cry, be angry but in the end you will be strong enough to let go and be able to love again. And maybe even start a friendship with him 
I know...
Staying friends is very hard especially if you still have feelings for him. Take your time, cry, be angry but in the end you will be strong enough to let go and be able to love again. And maybe even start a friendship with him "I see," said the blind man.
member
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
177 posts
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Posted:
The funny thing is, I want so much to hate him right now, and I can't bring myself to do so. He said to go ahead and hate him, which makes that just so much harder to do so. I think that I will always love him, and he will always have a place in my heart, but that love will always be laced with the pain of all this.
And now I begin to ramble
The funny thing is, I want so much to hate him right now, and I can't bring myself to do so. He said to go ahead and hate him, which makes that just so much harder to do so. I think that I will always love him, and he will always have a place in my heart, but that love will always be laced with the pain of all this.
And now I begin to ramble
Ash Blackstar
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains excite me"
"Only way to deal with Drama, heavy weaponry and a strong does of grow the Hell up"
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" Adam Savage - Mythbusters
Fireotographer on Hiatus
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
284 posts
Location: Cork, Ireland
Posted:
Of course you can't - it's all too recent! But wait until he does something that makes you really angry: it's very easy to hate him then
"Rambling" is good...
Of course you can't - it's all too recent! But wait until he does something that makes you really angry: it's very easy to hate him then
"Rambling" is good...
"I see," said the blind man.
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