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Trippie Hippie
BRONZE Member since May 2002

Trippie Hippie

old hand
Location: Bewildered state of nothingnes...

Total posts: 733
Posted:On saturday night, after a shed full, my
so called friend hit me with the ultimate question
Picture this.......
"you meet the man/women of your dreams, the one that is writen in the stars, the one that you have spent your life waiting for, and you both fall madly in love with each other and plan to get married.
But there is a problem,
Her family were all seriously hurt in a house fire that was caused by her fire twirling ex boy friend and because of this, she and her family all hate both twirling and fire. So she gives you the ultimatium.....
"Loose the twirling or loose her"

What do you do????

I could not answer this question for my life, and told him that i would have to consult the "others" ie you guys,
So what would you do???

I would like to think that i would just sack her off and carry on with my life without her, but matters of the heart are never that simple, is there a right or wrong answer to this????

I have till friday night to give him my final answer. TH



Trippie Hippie- Monty Dons secret love child

Fly like a mouse, run like a pillow, be the small book case.

"Last night i met some pixies and we danced around a stone".

Because dressing up is fun.

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arsn


arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...

Total posts: 1903
Posted:My women of my dreams, the one that is writen in the stars, the one that I have spent my life waiting for... would understand the things I do are the things that make me happy... and wouldn't give me that ultimatium... She'd love me for me... not the things I do... and plus... she'd be a twirler to...

-----------------------
They can do wonderful things with airbrushes these days.

[ 29 May 2002, 01:32: Message edited by: Arsn ]


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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DarkFairyQueen


member
Location: The Underworld

Total posts: 557
Posted:gOTTA AGREE WITH aRSN.

However, I think if u truly, truly love someone, you'd be able to give up anything for them, especially if it upsets them. Notice how I use the word 'able'. There's no moral obligation, if the love is there, it should be automatic.
If there's doubts, it problee ain't the love u thought it was. In this case, STIK TO THE SPIN!
Girlfriends/Boyfriends cum 'n' go, but a spinner spins 4 life!

DFQ xx


Az abouve, So below...

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Trippie Hippie
BRONZE Member since May 2002

Trippie Hippie

old hand
Location: Bewildered state of nothingnes...

Total posts: 733
Posted:This is going in the direction that i thought it would, so my original thoughts on it are right,
If they can't accept it then get shut!!!!!!
Nice one, i'm not the only one who belives that love does't concur all, but poi does of course!!!



Trippie Hippie- Monty Dons secret love child

Fly like a mouse, run like a pillow, be the small book case.

"Last night i met some pixies and we danced around a stone".

Because dressing up is fun.

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:i might give it up for awhile (boy in my case, biut still...) and try to educate them on how the fire that happened isn't my fault... perhaps agree never to twirl fire at home....

but if the ultimatum stays, i go.

and i'm only a newbie... it's just soo magical. it is already in some way a part of who i am...


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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wanderinglinton


member
Location: Taiwan

Total posts: 31
Posted:Well, I'm a hopeless romantic, and have dated women for whom I'd do just about anything..

If that was the price of the woman of my dreams, I'd pay it - as sore as that would be.


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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:I'm with Arsn. Ultimatiums have no place in a relationship.

However if the sex was really, really good I'd really have to give it some more serious thought


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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:I wouldn't ever marry someone who I wasn't willing to give something like that up for.

I thought that was a pretty easy question actually. I'm surprised at how many of you put poi above love. It's not even close in my book.

I hope that I don't sound hypocritical when I say that I agree with Dom, Ultimatums have no place in a relationship.

In this case, though, I can't possibly believe that it's true love if you're torn between a hobby and her... which is the bigger issue.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:For me at least it's not what you're giving up, it's the asking that'd I'd object to.

If there's a big issue in a relationship you sit down and talk about it, discussing and seeing each other's viewpoint. It can then turn into a relationship strengthening thing.


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master sodium


member
Location: carson city, nevada

Total posts: 536
Posted:me personally, I would make a compromise. a relationship is about compromise after all.

I'd just loose the fire. I mean, it was a fire accident they were hurt in right. I can twirl just fine without fire. granted it ain't the same as lighting up occasionally, but I can deal with it.

but if she wouldn't let me spin at all she'd definitely get the boot. that would just prove she's a dumb ho and that would make her not worth spending my time with, and therefore would not be the woman of my dreams.

just my thoughts

sodium


you can't have a war against terrorism because war IS terrorism.it's not about worshipping fire. its about making the fire want to worship you.

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arsn


arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...

Total posts: 1903
Posted:Wait, wait, wait... can I still twirl with LED's...

------------------------------------
Truly great friends are hard to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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Tricky


member
Location: Right behind you........

Total posts: 33
Posted:I'm guessing that the mental scarrs would be pretty horific alongside the physical ones.

At first I would probably be insulted by the ultimatum, and by doing this, she would be in the wrong, as untimatums have no place in a loving relationship, but you would have to acknowledge the pain that fire, caused by spinning (don't spin indoors with fire) would have caused her and her family.

She wouldn't want you, her, or anyone else to go though that pain.

I reckon therapy or tuition of some sort may be able to help, be it to learn to appreciate fire, learn about its beauty, to no longer be afraid of it if it is ontrolled, or to realise it was irresposible use of fire that caused it (won't drivel on about methods of doing this though, as I don't know). If she wouldn't agree to this perfectly reasonable request, then she just aint perfect. Bye Bye.


TrickySmile at a stranger!

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Cantus
SILVER Member since Jul 2001

Cantus

Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road

Total posts: 15965
Posted:I'm with NYC on this one. Love wins every time.

Anyway I have electroglos now. Ooh, pretty colours. No nasty hot burny bits.....


"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:FFS it brakes my heart that ya have to choose between things you love!
perhaps the middle path can be followed!
Twirling with glowtoys in you hands is easier than living with regret on your back!!!!

Non-Https Image Link


Non-Https Image Link


Non-Https Image Link

good luck man.
hope she realises the depth of ya feelings!
smile! or else!


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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splerph
BRONZE Member since Mar 2002

member
Location: Perth Australia

Total posts: 75
Posted:Love would win every time for me. If he was the man of my dreams...

I agree though ultimatium's have no place in any of my relationships.

I also agree that if I can't give something up for the one that I love then I don't think the relationship is meant to be.


Smile and the whole world smiles with you

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:it is interesting how everyone all but directly contracdicts themselves....

I still stick to my idea of trying to change their opinion gradually and with understadning.

but i came to a new idea... what if the hypothetical situtaion is impossible?


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:*oh god i just read that question.... mebbe i need more sleep...*

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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DJ Dantana
BRONZE Member since Aug 2001

veteran
Location: Stillwater, Ok. USA

Total posts: 1495
Posted:It sounds like she does have some emotional scars and phobias, not neccisarily unreasonable ones. But if she won't even let you twirl non-fire stuff, I think she is being a little too unreasonable. But, if you truely love someone you should be willing to do ANYTHING for them. even give up twirling, although.... I can understand a girl wanting me to give up something that is dangerouse, or illegal, but twirling non-fire is neither.

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:There is something fundamentally wrong with this question. There is a contradiction in the question itself.

The question is based in the concept of "your dream woman", this ideal fictional character. If such a thing exists, she is supposedly the be all & end all, able to fulfil all your needs. Therefore you don't need twirling. So giving it up is not an issue...

Saying that shows just how unreasonable & unrealistic the concept of a "dream woman" (or man) is. You cannot expect someone to fulfil all your needs (if nothing else it is a massive responsibility).

So lets rephrase it as "a woman you care about deeply". Suddenly this person becomes more human. You want to ask a whole heap of questions of yourself & of her. How much do I care about this person? What is our relationship? Marriage? Life partner? A good mate + sex? Most importantly: why is she asking this of me?

Find the answer to this last question & you may find out your response.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Kyrian:
mebbe i need more sleep...*maybe you are asleep! if you can fly while reading this, you're in the astral plane, man!


Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Salinger


member
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 382
Posted:I'm in a relationship as committed as that and I can guarantee that you'd give up spinning first.

This is someone you would instinctively give your life for, the ultimate sacrifice. Compared to that even spinning fire wouldn't compare.

If my woman merely disliked me spinning fire and gave me the ultimatum then that would be a different story as that would have a negative meaning to the relationship and her personality.


A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:wake-walking through my dreams again....

d'oh....


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:giving your life is very different from giving up something you love in your life, IMO.

It might work, and sometimes the thinsg you do in your life arn't as important as you thought, but i'd be worried about bitterness as time goes on....

there are people that i would give my life for but i would not make certain concessions to them as long as i was alive, ya know what i mean?

but i also agree with rozi, a person can't really fulfill ur every need... that's not relaly how i meant it to sound. But, people are human. I dunno, how do i say it... quote: Saying that shows just how unreasonable & unrealistic the concept of a "dream woman" (or man) is. You cannot expect someone to fulfil all your needs (if nothing else it is a massive responsibility). there we go.

peace.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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DarkFairyQueen


member
Location: The Underworld

Total posts: 557
Posted:big hairy balls..

Az abouve, So below...

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Trippie Hippie
BRONZE Member since May 2002

Trippie Hippie

old hand
Location: Bewildered state of nothingnes...

Total posts: 733
Posted:EH????


Trippie Hippie- Monty Dons secret love child

Fly like a mouse, run like a pillow, be the small book case.

"Last night i met some pixies and we danced around a stone".

Because dressing up is fun.

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Peaches
BRONZE Member since May 2002

member
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

Total posts: 4
Posted:Letting go of some one that you love is harder that anything else in the world. I don't think that she really will split up with him over something that I see as relatively minor. They need to sit down and talk about this. If he desides to stop doing fire then he has to be happy with this and not let it fester as anger. It has to be what both sides want or it won't work in the long term.

Peaches


If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

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SmallBoy - x


SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London

Total posts: 2737
Posted:The situation doesn't work 2 start with.
How can she be the girl of your dreams if she wants you to give up twirlin'.
If she is then you have some bad dreams.....


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Celeste


member
Location: Birmingham, Ala USA

Total posts: 48
Posted:Well, while I sympatize with her and her families pain, I think her ultimatum is WAY out of line.
If her family had been hurt in a car wreck, would it be feasable to stop driving?
Her and her family need to realize that the ex was either an idiot or made a mistake...wonder what other ultimatums she'll throw out there....


Life is serious, but art is fun!

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