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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Hi everyone,I know that it is good to have someone watch over you when you spin fire... I am not questioning that because you ask someone for it and he accepts to take the reponsability, at least partly. it is a relationship you have and based on trust and usually friendship.But last friday I was spinning at an open place where all sorts of fire people gather in Paris (GREAT place by the way) Some guy came to me, he was really really drunk and asked for my poi. I handed them out (unlit). he broke the finger loop (my fault anyway !!) . But then he wanted to grab my kerdane and blow fire and I refused. He was FURIOUS with me but I kept refusing because I did not want to be the one responsible for him possibly ending up in the emergency room. He shouted that I was a selfish bitch and went away.Just wondering : do you think I overdid it and should have left him his freedom after all (I really love to give my poi to try or to share the kerdane I have) or do you feel responsible for other people like I do ? My deep belief is that I did it right... at least that is the way I am... Just wanted to know what your experiences of such "encounters" are ???shine oncassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Dott


member
Location: UK

Total posts: 29
Posted:i think you were right.when we are performing fire juggling we have a rule not to let anyone who seems out of it try - this is so our club doesn't get sued, and becuase we think it's always better to be safe with fire.instead, we invite them along to a club meeting and teach them fire in a much safer place without them being drunk. we get quite a few new members that way
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. and it eases the tension (with most people anyway, if they are horrible about it then they normally just want to look tough and don't really want to be a fire juggler)


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adamrice


adamrice

poo-bah
Location: Austin TX USA

Total posts: 1015
Posted:You were right, Cassandra. It's not fun to get chewed out, but it's important to stand your ground. If this guy had any common sense, he wouldn't want to blow fire when he's already drunk. The fact that he wanted to blow fire drunk means he shouldn't be doing it even when he's sober, as far as I'm concerned.

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

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Pele'sWhippingBoy


member
Location: Rochester, NY, USA

Total posts: 442
Posted:I think you did the right thing and are not a bitch. He's lucky you didn't get angry with him for breaking your poi strap.Pele keeps a set of practice poi (shoe laces tied to balled-up socks) with her. That way her good poi do not get ruined or worse stolen if they run off. People always ask if they can try or claim they can do better so these work perfect for that. Personally I'd love to have a set of beaming poi and a waiver for them to sign... [image]http://www.homeofpoi.com/ubb/images/icons/wink.gif">------------------[/image]Pyromorph - Let the fire change you

FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

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Superman
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Superman

member
Location: Houston, Texas

Total posts: 829
Posted:Dont worry about that fool, you were very much in the right. As funny as it would have been to see him catch his drunk ass on fire, you dont want that lingering over your head. AS far as im concerned he had no business asking you to use your things in the 1st place, & i wouldnt loose a wink of sleep over it.Super'------------------"When a Man Lies He Murders Some Part of the World These Are the PaleDeaths Which Men Miscall Their Lives All this I Cannot Bear to Witness Any Longer Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation Take Me Home"[This message has been edited by Superman (edited 25 July 2001).]

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.


- Mark Twain

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:My practice poi are actually bean bags attached to a boot lace, but close enough Whipping Boy
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I also now carry a set of comets as well.Cassandra, I think that you did right. In this case you were acting responsibly for someone who was impaired enough to not know better. I will not give them to anyone impared and i have this theory about giving my fire poi unlit to people. Unless it is part of my Ren show act (and it is) I won't do it. It would be nothing for someone to turn their back, whip out a lighter and ignite any residue fuel on them. Then I would be held legally responsible for any injuries. No way. It's either hte practice ones or nothing...and I admit I am an adament bitch about it but I look at it this way, it is for the protection of not only the person, but anyone in the area, the area, myself, my cherished tools and my reputation, all of which are very precious in my eyes.As for blowing. I don't even let the audience or strangers know what fuel I use let alone let them try. There is way too much at risk there. I have taught several people (some form this board) but I know that they are safety concious, reponsible people who know how to handle fire and really had an interest in learning so it is different. As for everone else, I simply tell them that my insuranec doesn't cover lesons, which isn't a lie.Trust me, next to me you are not a bitch and i think you did the right thing.He was drunk and acting the fool, therefore his opinion of you shouldn't count anyway. We like you and don't hink you're a bitch!
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------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...http://www.pyromorph.com


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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alterego
BRONZE Member since Jul 2001

alterego

Warm beer is infinitely colder than no beer
Location: Boulder, Co

Total posts: 222
Posted:I never let anyone have my fire poi. I'll hand out glowstix to anyone pretty much cuz the chance of getting hurt is a lot less though.(1)Love always, Spanky*See topic, "Hyphema". I put myself in the hospital for a week when I got hit in the eye with a glowstick
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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:Sorry you had to put up with that crap Cass - I know exactly how you feel.In situations like that it's all to easy to reflect and (with negative undertones) question whether you did the right thing or not.You 100% did the right thing. IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) if he was so desperate to blow fire, he is more than capable of buying his own fuel and trying to kill himself without your help!
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My troupe often come across this type of situation - Finn has Beaming Poi and the pretty lights seem to attract drunks like moths! It was hard for her at first (she's a caring sharing kinda gal) but she's much better at saying NO now. And when she does lend them out, she stands near the person like a concered parent! It's hard to know whether she's concerned for her Beamers or the idiot trying to twirl them against all warning! It's also frustrating when we go out to clubs and parties and take our toys just to have a play. More often than not, within 1 minute of our toys being out, people will come up and beg to have a go. As much as we are happy to share, it's extremely frustrating sometimes when you just wanna play but have to supervise your toys and feel bad for asking for them back. I know it lends a bad impression of me but sometimes (not always!) I think that if this person is so desperate to have a twirl, why didn't they bring thier own toys? I rarely go anywhere without mine - why should other people sponge off me and take away from my play time? Disclaimer: this is only in the situation where the twirler is obviously experienced. I am more than happy to share with and coach newbies.end rant!------------------"she dances in a ring of fire and throws off the challenge with a shrug"


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Posted:Cass,I think you behaved admirably. You bent without breaking
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It takes the bravest soul to look out for the ppl who hurt them the most.Josh


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kmactane


member
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 97
Posted:I seem to be a bit more slack than some of you, as I will hand my (unlit) fire poi to others -- but now that I think about it, I've so far only done so when the person asking was obviously another twirler with at least a bit of experience.The only way I'd ever even contemplate handing a lit poi to someone is if I already knew them and had seen them spin fire before. In reality, the only time it's ever come up was in a practice session once, when we were doing a few experiments with fuel mixtures and my arms were getting tired and I said to a friend, "Here, you wanna take this until it goes out?"When dealing with randoms who are attracted to my twirling in public places, I'll happily hand them Zuni. Heck, I don't even care if someone is drunk and deranged; I figure they can' tpossibly screw themselves up too badly with Zuni. If someone can hurt him- or herself with a pair bean bags, fer cryin' out loud, then we have a case of Darwinism in action.I've never had a stranger ask to try my fire poi, even unlit, but if it happened, and if the person were polite and seemed reasonable, I think I'd allow it. I'd warn the person that there was heavy, solid metal in those things, and I would NOT give them any fuel unless they could pass a five-minute "smudge test". ("Here... spin these (already very soot-covered fire poi) for five minutes, without leaving sooty smudges on yourself, and then I'll give you fuel.") Someone else on this board mentioned that one time, and I think it's a great test.I certainly haven't had to deal with anyone being an asshole, or being drunk, or both, and getting in my face when spinning. If it were to happen, I'd follow the same course you jsut did, Cassandra: I am not obligated to give anyone anything. If a sweet, polite person comes up and asks me nicely if they can borrow my Zuni, I'm perfectly justified in saying "No." I'm far more justified in telling an obnoxious, drunk asshole that I'm not giving him any fuel with which to light himself, and possibly random, innocent passers-by, on fire. Frankly, I'm not likely to care if the drunk asshole dies a fiery death... but the other people around might get hurt, adn they don't want to have to witness a sudden immolation, and out of respect for them, at least, I'll say no.
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Of course he called you a bitch. He was a drunk asshole. It's not his job to say nice, sensible things, like, "It's your right to decide what you do with your own fuel", or "I'm sorry if I'm being too pushy." If he could say things like that, he wouldn't be an asshole, now, would he?
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And if he could come up with anything more creative to call you, he wouldn't have had to fall back on the tired, old, worn-out, general-purpose insult-for-women.Don't worry, Cassandra; being called a bitch by such a pathetic dweeboid nimrod simply means you did something sane. It's not a considered critique, and it's not something you should take to heart.


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plastikgirl


member
Location: Curitiba, PR, Brazil

Total posts: 41
Posted:*applause*I think you were absolutely right.You have guts, girl, keep that way!!Dont mind the guy. He was drunk and he's a jerk.You were very responsible, you were concerned about his safety and didnt even get angry at him for damaging your poi. Congratulations, girl, I admire you!------------------"Lady bug lady bug, fly away home. Your house is on fire, and your children will burn! Ashes, ashes, all fall down!!

Lady bug lady bug, fly away home. Your house is on fire, and your children will burn! Ashes, ashes, all fall down!!

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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Woooooooooooooooooooooo,thank you for your feedback, all of you...
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dealing with these people is not always easy, you've given me confidence in what I allready felt was right.Just to underline something which always surprises me -cultural difference teaches you a lot-. the "legal" issue of my legal responsability did not even occur to me because in france it is maybe not as common as in the US to drag someone in court for just about anything (sorry, I know it sounds hard on you, fellow americans, nothing personal though
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)Pele, lucky princess to have your knight watch over you
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By the way I did have heaps of practice poi (tennis balls, zuni and some rainbow practice chains made by a friend for me). Theyr were all allready in somebody's hand ... Gotta learn how to say no ? yeah, I know, but it is still great fun to see people enjoy discovering the joy of spinning !!!Again, and as always, thank youShine onCassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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